


Nuka Girl, Nuka’d World

by whiim



Series: For Better, or for Worse [1]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alcohol, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Denial of Feelings, English SoSu, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jealousy, Mental Illness, Multi, Mutual Pining, Non-Bostonian SoSu, Pining, Smut, SoSu was a prewar celebrity, SoSu was the Nuka Girl, Substance Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:07:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 140,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23725807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiim/pseuds/whiim
Summary: Darling actress, face of Vault-Tec and real life Nuka Girl, Vanessa Everly; wakes up and finds herself in a world ravaged by Nukes. She takes far better to the life than anyone could’ve imagined, and turns to allies unexpected as she changes the Commonwealth, for better, or for worse.
Relationships: Female Lone Wanderer/Robert Joseph MacCready, Female Sole Survivor/Deacon, Female Sole Survivor/Porter Gage, Sole Survivor/Porter Gage
Series: For Better, or for Worse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1708930
Kudos: 48





	1. Prologue

“Ms Everly, believe me when I tell you that what we are offering is safety for your family should the worst happen, Vault-Tec has a space for you, your husband and your newborn son.” 

Ness raked her fingers through her hair, pushing her temples gently, before looking toward the representative across the table from her, down at the papers then back up at him.

“All we are asking is you, Vanessa Everly, non-American darling of the Great US of A, to be the new face of Vault-Tec. Your career on the silver screen has captured the hearts of many across our great nation, so who better than to be our very own Vault Girl?” 

“Ms Everly as your manager I feel obligated to remind you that Vault Tec hasn’t got the greatest of reputations for being entirely… Savoury. They’ve had issues with lawyers in the past and-“

“I thought you said that we would be granted access to the Vault as my husband served in the military.”

“Ah, Mr French. Although he did a great service to our country, I must remind you he is one of many Anchorage Veterans who could be allowed access to the Vault.”

Sighing again, for probably the tenth time during that meeting, Vanessa picked up the pen and slid the sheet towards herself, signing away her career and her life, but not in a way she could’ve ever possibly imagined.

The proceeding months were filled with performances, song releases, advertisements. Sparkly blue dresses, golden heels. Smiling faces, flashing lights, photoshoots of her and Shaun in matching brilliant blue vault suits. Any time something bad came up about Vault-Tec, Vanessa’s smiling face would come out to coax away any concerns the public had. 

Production of a movie had barely begun when everything changed. Delicately sipping at a cup of tea, watching the newscaster quietly, Codsworth humming as he prepared breakfast for Nathaniel, who had come behind her to gently kiss at her head, Shaun nestled in his arms.

“Turning to economic news of the day. Vault-Tec stock continues to rise, it is partly in thanks to the works of Vanessa Everly, British actress and all round performer and sponsor of the brand, but also as tensions with China reach an all-time high.”

“Wow, you’re on par with the commies now, Miss Vault-Tec.”

She smiled up at her husband, taking Shaun in her arms, tilting her head back so Nate could press another kiss to her forehead, her brow gently furrowing with a forced smile. He squeezed her shoulder with that same amount of pressure he always did, where she knew it would leave a faint bruise, and kept her eyes trained on the baby in her arms. 

“Followed by... yes, followed by flashes. Blinding flashes. Sounds of explosions... We're... we're trying to get confirmation... But we seem to have lost contact with our affiliate stations... We do have... coming in... confirmed reports. I repeat, confirmed reports of nuclear detonations in New York and Pennsylvania.”

“My god…” 


	2. Frostbite

Hitting the ground with a thud, ears roaring as she sucked in deep and desperate gasps for breath, Vanessa reached out and pressed a bruised hand against the cryopod in front of her. 

-

“Just give us the baby, don’t make this any harder than it needs to be.”

Vanessa screamed, slamming the sides of her hands against the glass of the cryopod, as Nate tried to keep their child out of the arms of the intruders to the vault.

“No. You’re not taking my baby! I’m not letting you take Shaun!”

A gunshot rang out throughout the room, chilling Vanessa’s skin to the bone. Even from within the cryopod the sound was deafening. Within seconds one of her already sore hands was pressed firmly against her mouth, the other still weakly banging against the glass, a single tear rolling down her face.

“At least we’ve still got the backup.” 

And with those last words spoken right against her face, everything got cold and dark again.

-

“N-Nate… I’m so… I’m sorry.” 

Dragging herself closer to the cryopod, lungs still aching as they drew in breaths they’d been desperate for, for far too long. Vanessa pressed her forehead against the cold glass, finally regaining her control of her legs, she used the pod to drag herself to her feet, trembling under her own weight.

She stepped away from the pod, her fingers slowly leaving the glass.

“Shaun.”

She sucked in another breath through her teeth, before looking around at all the other pods, furrowing her brow, teeth chewing at her lower lip. 

“Dead… all dead. Why!? Why would Vault-Tec do this!?”

“...Now Ness, you’re talking to yourself. You’ve gone mad already.” 

Making her way through the vault, letting out a screech she would later view as embarrassing when she first encountered the giant bugs.

“Bugs… fu-bloody hell… why are they so big. Of course these horrible things would survive a nuke. Oh god.”

Lunging for a table to her left, she grabbed a security baton that was sat upon it, and bashed the damn thing’s brains out. But there was no way in hell she’d be comfortable defending herself with a glorified piece of plastic. Continuing her route through the vault, she eventually found herself spotting a 10mm pistol, and thought back to the self defence lessons she’d received from Nate whilst he was still suffering from his paranoia. 

_ “Look down the sight, that’s it. Vanessa for fuck sake stop shaking! It can’t hurt you, but people can. And you need one of these to stop them.” _

_ “Nathaniel, it's a bloody live gun!”  _

Holding it in her hands made her for the first time in her life feel in control. The surge of confidence made her feel sick, actually, so she tucked it into a rung on her belt, one hand hanging by her side ready to grab the damn thing as she picked up her pace, running through towards the vault exit.

She’d done nothing but whisper an apology to the skeleton by the vault entrance as she snapped off their arm to take the Pip-Boy, rationalising it to herself that they clearly wouldn’t need it anymore. With a swift shake to get the boned arm off the Pip-Boy, she slipped it onto her own, fastening it before plugging it into the door control, and slamming her hand on the button.

She had to get out of here.

The minute she could get to the elevator she could, wrenching the door shut to prevent the roaches that had followed her from getting too close, squealing as they tried to worm their way in. Alas, they were too late. 

A shaking hand was raised to her own eyes,to shield them from the bright light as the lift approached the surface, she swallowed and held her eyes shut for longer than she needed, before they fluttered open and she looked around, surprised at how everything was greener than she’d expected.

How long had she been frozen?

Nate had told her once that a Nuke would decimate everything. Wasteland, was the word he’d used. But in that strangely peaceful moment, Ness looked at the growing plants and trees, she couldn’t identify them but that was besides the point, all she’d ever known about plants was that some were pretty and not to eat random fruits off bushes.

The sounds of gunshots somewhere off in the distance woke her up from the tranquility. People were alive. Somewhere. It was who or, what, they were shooting at that worried her. Sanctuary Hills was down the road, she prayed to God that someone would be there. And that someone wouldn’t want to blast her brains out on her own front lawn.

Vanessa shuddered and made her way towards her home, sliding down the hill instead of taking the path, and Nate would’ve yelled at her for being reckless as usual and not thinking before she rushed headfirst into God knows what. But Nate was gone now. So was Shaun. She needed to find him, she needed to be strong for her baby.

Another bug attempted to attack her on her way through the settlement. A big disgusting red thing with wings. Vanessa had to wildly swing her pistol into it, causing the blood of it and god knows what to splatter onto her face, that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Dropping to the ground, pistol clattering beside her, Vanessa presses her fingers over her eyes and let out a shrill scream. Pained and scared and frustrated. She screamed. 

“Ms Vanessa! Is that you?” 

“What in the… Codsworth?” 

“It  _ is _ you! 200 years or so of being alone Mum, and I had feared the worst! But here you are! Might I ask where Master Nathaniel is mum? And dear little Shaun! Are they on their way from the vault?”

“Gone.”

“What? Ms Vanessa are you alright?”

“I said they’re gone. Shaun was… was taken by some bastard in a hazmat suit and Nate… they murdered him. Jesus fuck, Codsworth they murdered him!”

Within an instant her fingers were on her face yet again, sinking her teeth into her own lip to prevent another scream. She knew Codsworth had always found it unnerving, despite him telling her that he was fine. 

Codsworth whirred uncomfortably, and made a sound as if he were clearing his throat.

“Mum I am dreadfully sorry, but I assure you, we will get Master Shaun back and-“

“200… 200 years?” 

“Give or take a few years due to a few dings to the old chronometer, but yes mum. I’m afraid you’re dreadfully late for dinner. I shall get started immediately. And is your mental state alright mum? Unfortunately I don’t have any of your Calmex, the small bundle you had left at home was taken a while ago whilst I was out at the Megamart, you won’t believe the sort of riffraff working there nowadays, very unhelpful.” 

“Codsworth. Slow down. Please.” 

She grabbed her pistol and put it in it’s holster, Codsworth buzzed over and offered an ‘arm’ to her. Vanessa took it, and he helped her to her feet, hovering off in the direction of her old home. 

“Miss Vanessa, would you like me to prepare supper?” 

The vaultie looked down at her pip-boy screen, it was early afternoon, she smiled across at the robot, before rubbing the back of her neck.

“Hmm, Codsworth, as lovely as that’d be, I'm not hungry right now. Thank you, but I need to know if there are any survivors, I need to know where to find Shaun.” 

“Survivors mum? The Commonwealth has more than just survivors, I have seen some bustling communities and groups of travellers, but ah, I am getting ahead of myself. Last I checked, a group of rather friendly looking people had moved into Concord, that would likely be a good place to look.” 

Vanessa turned her head in the direction of the bridge, just a ways beyond it and the Red Rocket was the town in question, she remembered visiting the museum once with Nate when he’d been teaching her about the history of his nation. She fondly recalled some of the strange looks she’d gotten from some of the old-timers who had heard her accent, history was never really her strong suit. 

“Reminiscing, mum?” 

“Oh, yes, quite. I guess I should, get going, then?” 

Codsworth’s optical lenses expanded and shrunk, and he blinked a few times. 

“Believe so, mum. Don’t you worry, I’ll be sure to have the hedges nicely trimmed and the bushes shaped for your return with the new neighbours. These houses have been empty for far too long. I shall see you to the bridge.” 

The two relics of a world long gone walked alongside each other, mutually happy with the silence, just enjoying the company of one another. Codsworth buzzed to a halt as they reached the bridge, and Vanessa made her nest attempt at hugging the bot, before letting go, and making her way out of the town. 

She heard a dog barking as she neared the Red Rocket, and swiftly unsheathed her pistol, clutching it in slightly shaking hands. There was a difference between killing some bugs and killing a dog, or God forbid, a human. The pup came out from the inside of the building at the truck stop, it barked and lowered itself to the ground, before rolling over and showing its belly.

Vanessa slowly moved towards it, holstering her pistol. She remembered the puppy that Nate had got her after a fight, she’d always rolled onto her back when playing with the neighbourhood dogs to show how she wasn’t a threat. 

“Hey boy. I’m guessing your owner isn’t around.”

He sneezed and rolled around a little, she reached out and gently rubbed his belly, a smile twitching at the corner of her lips. He got up, and barked in the direction of Concord, Vanessa pushed on her knees to stand up straight again, rubbing the pup behind his ears.

“You want to come with me, boy? Is your owner in Concord?” 

He barked again and she chuckled, nodding for him to follow as she continued on her journey. The dog bounded around excitedly, but never strayed too far from her side. When he did get too far ahead, he’d check she was still following before trotting back to stay close to her. Vanessa was grateful for the company as they got closer to Concord, because the sound of gunshots and shrieking made her shiver and her skin tingle. 

One of the people firing at the building noticed her, and turned their line of fire onto her. Dog tackled them and held them still, and she turned her gun on the raider. Her hands shook slightly, but the bullet she fired found her target, hitting him straight in the chest. He dropped to the ground, and Vanessa could swear time slowed down as she tried to take down the others, blood rushing in her ears. Things blurred together at that point, and when Vanessa regained her focus, a figure on the balcony was shouting at her. 

“Hey, Vault Dweller, up here!”

She whisked round and pointed the pistol up at the man on the balcony, only lowering it when he tossed his gun down onto the floor just in front of her. He held his hands up and she put her gun away, moving forward to pick up the laser musket. 

“You can take that, you might wanna grab some armor pieces off those raiders too, I need your help! I’ve got some people up here, the raiders are almost through the door!”

“I need to find my son!”

“Look, lady, help us out and I’ll do what I can to help you get your son back!”

Vanessa swallowed the lump in her throat, nodding to the man on the balcony before turning to one of the corpses. She could feel her heart hammering in her chest as she took off some of their armor pieces, she’d killed this woman. It was all feeling too real, and she was trying her best to not be sick, or cry, or scream. 

Once prepared, Vanessa made her way into the building, giving her dog a gentle pat on the head for good luck. Inside, the raiders lurking were not too much of a challenge. She’d already known how to use a gun and now her main challenge was shooting live targets instead of just bottles in her back garden. 

She wasn’t sure what had lured her attention to the glowing core behind the locked gate, but she couldn’t leave it. She took the bobby pins from her hair, her curls tumbling to sit just above her shoulders. One was pushed into the lock and the others were put into her pack, before she moved to get the door open.

The lock eventually gave out a satisfying click, and Vanessa hissed gently, pushing the door with her palm.

“Yes...”

Snatching the core and shoving it in her bag, she was alerted to a raider running at her with a switchblade, panicking, she grabbed a shotgun that had come from a corpse on the ground and pointed it directly at the head of the raider. 

She pulled the trigger.

The raiders head exploded in front of her, splashing blood and bits of brain and Vanessa found herself shivering as she felt it spray in her face and in her hair. Her dog whined and sat at her heels, nudging at her calves as she pressed both her fingers to her lips to muffle a scream which got far too close to escaping. It took her a few minutes to regain her composure, and she wasn’t ready at that point anyway, but had heard shrieking from upstairs as the raiders tried to bash the door in.

Vanessa had to force herself to get through the museum, letting her dog hold one still, as she shot him with her pistol, shotgun jammed into her bag. The other was taken out by the man wearing the goofy hat, who caught her as her legs gave out. She gently pushed him away, raking her fingers through her hair to push out the chunks, hoping there would be some way to clean the blood from her hair later. 

The man who introduced himself as Preston, explained their plan of action with the help of a man named Sturges. Seemed like a strange name but who knows what constituted strange in this post-apocalyptic wasteland. They were shocked to find out she knew how to operate power armor but Vanessa didn’t know how to explain that it had been for a movie so she’d shrugged and said a friend had taught her. 

When she’d gotten into it she realised she’d forgotten how heavy the damn things were, but she was more glad she had what felt like walls to separate her from the amount of violence that she was about to enact on these people down below. Preston had explained raiders to her, that they took what they wanted and killed without thinking, she was simply surprised more people weren’t living this way, it sounded like a decent plan of survival. It made her feel sick, that she was already thinking that way. 

It made her feel more sick that seeing life leave someone’s eyes didn’t make her feel the same way it had the first time. That as the minigun tore their bodies to shreds she felt a rush, she felt strong, powerful. 

She’d gotten such an adrenaline buzz that she was barely affected by the Deathclaw bursting from the sewer. She’d given it a double take sure, but she barely thought twice before firing upon it, backing up until her back hit a car as it got closer to her, before its claws wrapped around her middle. It gave out a roar as she managed to fire her minigun into her once again, and flopped on top of her, crushing part of her power armor. 

Vanessa tried to push it off her, but despite the added strength boost the armor gave her, it had caught her in a way that she simply couldn’t push it off. Voices behind her muttered and then she could pick out Sturges calling out to her.

“Hey lady, y’alright? We’re getting you out of there, just hold on. Don’t wanna trigger that fusion core to explode with you still in there alright?” 

“That’s not comforting.”

She’d managed to croak out, her breath beginning to get extremely unsteady as the adrenaline faded and her panicking began.

“Preston I told you she was still alive. This kid’s stronger than most, I saw it.”

That voice she could pick out as Mama Murphy, the old lady who apparently had some future sight gift related to chem use. Although it seemed unreasonable, a lot of things didn’t seem particularly reasonable in this wasteland, and giant lizards were one of them. 

A rush of air hit the back of her neck and she fell backwards, Preston and Sturges catching her before she hit the floor and damaged herself more than she already did.

“What you did back there was amazing, thank you ma’am, the Commonwealth will be lucky to have you, and perhaps so would the Minutemen. We’re getting you back to Sanctuary, we’re going to set up there, you said you lived there before? Before what?”

She managed to get herself to walk alongside them, trying to ignore the pain of what she presumed was a cracked rib. Vanessa unzipped her suit but held it closed, so that she could inject a stimpack in her side without showing too much of her unmentionables. She chose to ignore the look that Preston gave her from the corner of his eye as she zipped it back up.

“Before the War.”

“What war? The only war I know of was the Great War. Are you saying-?”

“That I’m over 200 years old, yes.” 

“Well hell you’re the most well preserved ghoul I’ve ever seen.”

“What on Earth is a ghoul?” 

“Well little lady you’ve got some stuff to learn about this new world.”

Sturges laughed, and she smiled back at him slightly, running her fingers through her hair, finding herself grateful that they hadn’t turned their guns on her the minute she said something so preposterous.

Once back at Sanctuary, Sturges asked for Vanessa’s help making it into a proper little settlement, and they promised they’d leave her house alone if she ever wanted to stay there, although she’d already decided she’d only do so were it necessary, it brought up memories she wanted to stay dead with her old life, and the walls felt like they would close in and suffocate her. She set up beds, planted crops with Marcy, who hated her already for some unknown reason, and with the help of Sturges, learnt how to build a water pump. 

He’d smiled at her and given her gentle compliments and encouragements, and been proud of her for succeeding. She’d begun the day screaming in her own head that it should be Nate alive, not her, but here she was, doing things that not only he couldn’t do, but she was even doing them  _ well _ . But Vanessa was reminded of her own painful desire to please when he gently patted her back after she finally managed to connect the gears properly, she was embarrassed at the swell of pride in her chest and the way her stomach did flips of butterflies. 

It was how Nate had gotten her to stick around for so long despite their… Well, ‘disagreements’ was a nice way to put it. No matter how much he yelled or threw things or raised his palm, when he gave her gentle praises and stroked her hair, he had her eating out of it.

And Vanessa would have no idea yet at how that need to please would drive her actions in the Commonwealth. Nor did she know whether her actions would be for the better, or for the worse.


	3. Damsel in Distress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter features a short piece I wrote before which is posted here; Damsel in Distress. It was a test into writing other characters so I could feature split-pov in this fic <3

“How you holding up Blue, you think you can do that interview for me now?”

Vanessa was sitting on the couch in Publick Occurrences, her suit stained with the blood of a myriad of creatures, people, and her own. The last week or so proceeding her leaving the vault and setting up Sanctuary had been little more than a blur. Piper had taken her to see a doctor when she first arrived at Diamond City, and after hearing her story, he explained it was most likely down to the effects of shock on her body and her mind. 

Piper was already her first friend out of the vault, besides Dogmeat of course, who was currently sitting on the floor with his head in her lap. Not only had Piper gotten her into the city, and taken her to the clinic (which at the time had actually annoyed Vanessa), but she also paid for her to have a room at the Dugout Inn so she’d have somewhere to sleep for more than an hour at a time. The only thing she had asked for in return was an interview for her paper, Vanessa had always believed in freedom of the press, and therefore; here she was. 

“So, how was your time inside Vault… 111 wasn’t it?”

“I actually didn’t spend much time there, we, my family and I, were in these giant freezers. Cryopods I believe they’re called.” 

The rest of the interview was lacklustre, Piper was surprised when the tone changed significantly, she’d asked Vanessa for her statement, to this cold new world. One of her eyebrows had quirked and she’d closed her eyes in thought before;

“Find who’s responsible, and make them pay. It’s as simple as that.” 

She’d gotten to her feet, tightening the raider armor pieces she’d scavenged, that were strapped to her thigh. 

“You want me to come with ya, Blue? Help you find ol’ Nicky?” 

Vanessa had gently patted Dogmeat’s head, before shrugging at Piper, folding her arms across her chest. 

“I would be grateful for the company, but no thank you, Piper. I believe Dogmeat and I will make the journey just fine.” She was silent for a moment, gently rubbing Dogmeat’s head.

“Mr Valentine is he… a  _ ghoul _ ?” 

Piper gasped and then laughed, tossing her head back. “Oh my God can you imagine? What would make you say something like that?” Ness was surprised at the other woman’s laughter, and furrowed her brow. She’d heard there were people alive from before the war, and that they had become ghouls. That many of the ‘ferals’ she’d shot on her way to Diamond City, and whilst helping our settlers, had been people she could’ve known before the bombs. She’d  _ known _ Nick from before. How could he still be alive if he wasn’t a ghoul. He hadn’t been in her Vault.

“Nicky is… he’s different. You’ll know when you see him. But he’s a good soul, would rather talk to a fly than hurt it. Just, don’t judge a book by it’s cover, mkay?” 

The two women walked side by side to the edge of the city, stopping only for Nessie to say goodbye to Nat, ruffling her hair with a smile. The two women hugged, and Piper wished her luck and told her to stay safe, and handed her some extra ammo for her 10mm. “You get Nicky and you get back here alright? Then we’ll all go to the Dugout, first round on me. Dogmeat, you bring her back in one piece, you hear?” Dogmeat barked in response, they said their goodbyes and off they set, to find the great Nick Valentine. 

Vanessa had found a 45. sniper rifle in the raider camp at Corvega, and she’d kept it slung across her back or within her reach ever since. Nathaniel had done a tour as part of a Recon Squad, and she’d remembered seeing a gun just like it around the house, until he was sent to Anchorage. After that, the only weapon in the house was a combat knife he kept in the top drawer of the bedside table, and a pistol he was rarely far from. Vanessa had awoken many times to Nate with the barrel of the gun pressed against either her or his head after a relapse. Those guns had used to make her feel safe. And she supposed some part of her still felt safe when she remembered the rifle, a memory of how things used to be. 

Dogmeat stayed close to her side, and her finger stayed close to the trigger on her rifle, the rifle close to her chest. She didn’t have a large amount of ammo, so Dogmeat’s growls helped her to avoid raiders when they were in particularly large groups, so she could preserve the ammo for when she reached the Vault Nick was inside.

*

Well Nicky, you’re not getting out of this one.

You’ve been down here for a week now, you’re the one who finds people but when it knuckles down to it there’s no one out there to come find you.

I do worry about poor Ellie, kid must be worried sick, but at least maybe now she’ll be able to move on and stop fretting about me and my paperwork. I probably shoulda listened to her, she tried telling me this whole thing was a trap but I couldn’t stand the thought of a damsel needing help and me leaving her with these thugs. 

I knew something would take me out eventually, the old Nick wasn’t immortal and despite this good ol’ plastic body, new Nick isn’t gonna live forever either. I just never figured it’d be… I don’t know, I always thought I’d have my own memories rather than just oldNick’s.

I got into this situation chasing after a dame, and Nick would be disappointed, she wasn’t even for me. Turns out Darla was Skinny Malone’s new broad. And she was good with a bat too. Times like this I was glad I didn’t feel pain as intense as the average Joe, as that was quite the swing she gave me. 

I should probably actually check my head is still in one piece, or well, not in more pieces than it was before at least. The window will have to do. I checked my reflection, there wasn’t a bad dent in my head, so maybe little Darla had just knocked a few springs free.

The next thing I knew was Skinny Malone’s right hand man standing obnoxiously close to the window. Peering at me through the glass. 

“Valentine? I’m about to go see Skinny Malone. Pretty sure he’s gonna tell me to take you out. Anything you got left to say?”

I opened my mouth to tell him to leave when I saw a flash of blue down on the lower level. A vault dweller? I wondered what had happened to the previous residents, but I’m surprised Skinny’s gang left any survivors. Oh she’s a broad too. She must’ve been getting something she’d left. Seemed like a bad idea to me, I definitely wouldn’t be coming back here if I ever managed to get awake from the Triggermen or whatever they were calling themselves now. 

I can see she’s lining up a shot now, a sniper rifle clutched in her delicate hands. Dino’s starting to move though. Even if she didn’t miss, there’s no way she’d get out of here alive on her own. If she’s coming this way maybe I can convince her to let me out, turn on that ol’ Valentine charm if I have to.

“Come on now, Valentine, how’s about a last meal? Feeling hungry? Want a snack?”

Nick you got two choices here. Help the broad and hopefully get out, or hope Skinny lets you live. Somehow I don’t think it’s going to be the latter. Think Nick, think. 

“Keep talking, meat head. It'll give Skinny Malone more time to think about how he's going to bump you off.”

That got him there. That stupid grin on his face dropped immediately. Good on you Nick, you’ve done it again. I looked back to the broad. Swear I saw her smile as she moved to get a better shot.

“Don't give me that crap, Valentine. You know nothin'. You got nothin'.”

“Really? I saw him writing your name down in that black book of his.”

He wasn’t biting. The Vault girl rested her rifle against the metal bars. She was shaking. Obviously new to guns. They have a cushty life inside these sheltered prisons. She looked through the scope.

“Lousy cheating card shark" I think were his exact words. Then he struck the name across three times.”

“Three strikes? In the-“ 

But he never got to finish the sentence as a bullet burst through his head. Good shot vault dame. Even if you did take your sweet time with it. No. That was old Nicky talking, it was a damn good shot. 

And with that, the rifle went over her back. It was a marvel she could carry that thing, she looked all lithe and gentle. At least I was being able to solve one more mystery today, who in the hell this little rifle packing mama was. 

I tried to see her, maybe she was a friend of Ellie’s, but all I got a glance of was some blonde curls that I couldn’t help but imagine being tangled around that awful metal hand of mine. Here she was, my guardian angel with a crown halo of golden curls lit up by the obnoxious white lighting of the vault. 

Hold on, I think she’s busting me out of here. Good girl. The door slides open and I can feel the coolant pump harder around my body. 

Jenny?

No. She’s dead.

Looking closer at her I can see her blonde is more pale than Jenny’s was, and her eyes are a cold grey, as mysterious as the oceans. Instead of the warm pools of brown that Jenny’s had been.

But I knew her. She wasn’t Jenny but I knew her. 

Or at least maybe old Nick did.

“Mister Valentine? I hear you’re in the business of finding people.”

That’s where I knew her from. 

Sudden flashes of one of Nick’s memories played in my brain.

This woman. She’s wearing a black dress that comes in perfectly at her waist and flares back out at her hips. Her delicate hands that he’d just seen gripping a Sniper Rifle, were covered by silky white gloves, she smoothed down her skirts and lifted her head. The hat sat upon her head was at an angle that concealed some of the dark circles under her sad eyes. 

_ “Mister Valentine? I hear you’re in the business of finding people.” _

She’s… pre-war? This simply raises another mystery for him for him to solve. But now wasn’t the time.

“I have to admire the irony of the damsel in distress scenario being turned on its head. But yes, I’m Nick Valentine, synth detective.”

“My son Shaun… he’s missing.”

_ “It’s about my Husband. He hasn’t come home.” _

_ Damn, she’s got a husband. _

“He was kidnapped, but I don't know who took him, or where they went.

“A missing kid, huh? Well, you came to the right man. If not the right place.”

Oh that laugh. How’d I ever forget that laugh, Nick? Or how’d you forget it in that case. She’d come around a while after Jenny’s murder, and I remembered how entranced Nick had been by her, and now I was feeling that same disappointment he’d felt when she’d asked him to help her find her husband.

Was that bad of me? Was it bad of me that now, more than ever, did I want to tangle those curls in my hand. Was it old Nick who wanted it? Or me? My memories of her past then start to get foggy. 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh. Given the circumstances. I haven’t had much to smile about recently.”

“Look at me here doll, I’m clearly not one to judge.” 

That smile. Atom forgive me for the way her smile makes me feel. I almost feel like I’m taking advantage of her, without even doing anything. I make my way out of the office, and she follows after me, staying close. She’s holding a pistol now, rifle still sling across her back, and I notice how white her knuckles are. She’s scared. Of course she is. This wasn’t a life she was born into.

I want to hold her. 

I don’t.

I want to ask her how the hell she’s still alive. If she’s really here.

If she’s really more than 200 years old.

Come on Nicky you should know it’s impolite to ask a woman her age.

Nick you’re better than this. And she’s better than you. The poor broad’s lost her baby, and isn’t even mentioning that bastard husband of hers. 

Old Nick thought he was a bastard anyway. Maybe he changed. In the short time we, uh, he found him before the bombs. 

I look over my shoulder, hoping to steal a glance of those bonny curls and those doe eyes. She catches me. Her face lights up with a smile. She doesn’t look at me like I’m some kind of synth monster. She doesn’t look through me. She looks  _ at _ me. 

That smile is for me. 

There’s nothing to smile about here. She’s giving  _ me  _ that smile. 

I want to keep that smile on her face forever but a dame like her wouldn’t wanna be around a man like me. I feel her warm hand against my arm

“Are you alright, Mister Valentine?” 

The way she says it shoots straight through me.

“Y’know you can just call me Nick right, doll?” 

That blush, and the gentle crooked smile. 

Well that’s one way to get the coolant pumping.

“I uh, well,  _ Nick _ , my question still stands.”

“Of course I’m alright, now let’s focus on getting you out of this vault, yeah?”

“Sounds like a plan Mister Valentine.” 

I chuckle and shake my head. She removes her hand and I swear to you old Nick, I barely stopped myself from putting it back. 

What sort of trouble is this dame gonna get you into here, Nick? 

I get her out of the Vault. She’s got a silver tongue between those shiny red lips I tell ya that. Convinces that broad I’ve been chasing to go home to her Daddy. Does a better job of it than I did too, she doesn’t end up with that bat in her pretty little head. 

Skinny isn’t happy about it. But he’s charmed by her too. He gives us ten seconds to get out of here. We wouldn’t survive that fight, she’s clearly still shaken from the Dino situation, and I couldn’t take on all those triggermen and still keep her alive. 

Nick you’ve done enough running, you’ll slow her down, tell her to get out of there, that you’ll hold them off. Tell her that Ellie can help her find her son if she just asks.

Wow Nick, something neither of us expected here. She slips that soft, un-gloved hand into mine. Tiny and warm, against that skeletal, metal, poor excuse for a hand. I see that smile cross her face, and a fire light up in her eyes, and she’s off. Dragging me along with her. 

The doll has the weight of the Commonwealth on her shoulders and here she is, risking her life to save yours. Nick, neither of us deserve this woman. I hear gunshots behind us, and she glances over her shoulder to look at me, pupils blown out.

Is she having fun?

The little adrenaline junkie.

I suppose if I were a housewife allowed to do nothing but stay at home, a bit of adrenaline and some freedom would drive me wild too.

Freedom and a smile suit you well.


	4. Reunions

“You’re quite handy with a bobby pin, Doll.”

The door to Kellogg’s old home had swung open, and Vanessa placed the pin back in her hair, pinning one of her curls back, turning to grin at the synth. “I’ve had a fair bit of practise.” Nick checked over his shoulder before the two slid into the building, she turned on her pipboy light and turned up her nose at the dust that had settled on the furniture and in the air. “Codsworth would short-circuit if he saw this.” 

“There’s gotta be more to this room, see if you can find anything.” 

Vanessa nodded, she wandered over to Kellogg’s desk, shining her pipboy over it. Her stomach flipped when she saw the handcuffs, and she turned her face away, before spotting a faint light under the desk. Switching her pipboy off and crouching down, she pressed her fingers against the glowing red button, and a door slid open behind the two of them.

“Why would Kellogg need a secret room?”

“You tell me, great Clockwork Dick.” She flashed a grin at the synth who rolled his eyes and moved into the room, poking at the bottles on the shelves. “It’s synth detective, jackass, if you’re going to poke fun, at least get the make and model right.” 

He smiled lopsidedly at her, and she gently lifted a cigar from the ashtray. “San Francisco Sunlights… Kellogg has some expensive taste.” Nick gently wrapped his metal hand around her wrist and pulled her under the light so he could get a better look at it.

“Not many in the Commonwealth smoke these anymore. That dog of yours has a good nose on him right? He might be able to track our mutual friend down.” He moved to make his way out of the house, Vanessa close behind as he held out the cigar for Dogmeat to smell. 

“Maybe I should just have him smell Shaun’s crib…” She was joking. A sad smile resting on her face as she looked up at Nick, who gently patted her shoulder. They followed Dogmeat towards the exit, where Piper was waiting. 

“You off already, Nessa? Can’t believe you’re taking old Nicky instead of me.” She grinned at the other woman, who shook her head, blonde curls bouncing.

“Well Piper, when you can hack a terminal with one hand, I’ll bring you along for the ride.” Nick huffed at Vanessa’s response, looking down at his metal hand as the two women giggled. As much as her teasing annoyed him, it was good to see her laughing, that smile of hers was infectious. “I still owe you that round Ness, so don’t be a stranger.” Dogmeat barked in protest of them being held up. “Alright, alright Dogmeat, I’ll let your mama go now. You three stay safe.” 

Nick and Ness followed at a slight distance to Dogmeat, sticking to a walk or slow jog to keep up with him. When they came to the bridge just north of Diamond City, a group of raiders turned their guns on Vanessa, but didn’t seem set on attacking just yet.

“Hey Vaultie, give up the caps. This here’s a toll bridge.” Vanessa grunted, and pulled her pistol from her belt, pointing it straight back at the one who’d yelled at her. “C’mon now girlie, there’s four of us, and just one of you-“ Nick finally caught up, taking his hat off to rub the back of his head with a clawed metal hand.

“Ricky, I hope you’re not intending on hurting my dear friend here.” The raiders seemed to recognise him and the main one put his pipe pistol in its holster, throwing his hands in the air. “Ey, it’s Nick Valentine! Nick, how you doing?” The detective furrowed his brow, shrugging gently. “As well as always, I’m uh, glad you’re still alive?” 

“Well any friend of Nick is a friend of ours, this ones on the house. Don’t be a stranger, Nick.” 

Vanessa kept her gun pointed at the raiders as she moved past them, and Nick placed a hand on the small of her back, gently pushing her to move at a faster walking pace. “Friends with raiders, huh, Nicky?” He hummed in response, only removing his hand once they’d caught up with Dogmeat, who was sniffing around a camp. “I’ve helped all sorts of people, Vanessa, from all sorts of lives.”

She didn’t understand why he felt the need to justify his actions to her, she’d more than learnt that this place was kill or be killed, people had to do what they had to survive, she wasn’t going to let herself become one of those weak, frightened settlers she’d helped along her way. “Have a look around gotta be- aha!” He picked up another sunlight, and handed it to her. Vanessa looked at it closely before nodding, and holding it out to Dogmeat, who sneezed in response and took off further North-East. 

“Vanessa sometimes things out here are complicated. People need help, sometimes you may think they don’t deserve it. Sometimes you know they don’t. But people need a hand-“

“All we’ve gotta do is offer it. I’ve heard Piper say that.” Nick hummed and looked over at her. “You say that as if you don’t really believe it, but you’re the general of the Minutemen, their whole schtick is helping people.”

They jogged alongside each other, reaching another small camp under an old bridge, Vanessa gently picked up the bloodied cloth with her fingertips, holding it out at arms length for Dogmeat. “I may be the ‘General’, but I do more than anyone. I help half the Commonwealth and as much as I don’t expect anything in return, they’re barely even able to help me find Shaun. I came to Diamond City alone, Nick, Preston couldn’t even spare anyone to make sure I got there alive. I’m a 200-and-something year old Vault Dweller who knows nothing of this world and yet I’ve done more for it than almost everyone else.” 

They were reaching the end of their travel, shown by how Dogmeat had slowed down significantly and was smelling at the ground a lot more as they reached an old Red Rocket. “I’m not out here to save the Commonwealth, Nick, I’m here to find my son.” He shook his head and frowned at her, those blank eyebrows drawing together. “But you  _ have _ helped people, Vanessa. You  _ have  _ saved people. People now look up to you. Argue all you like Doll, the Commonwealth needs you.” She shot him a glare and followed Dogmeat up to an old fort. He barked at the cinder blocks and spent a minute or so digging at the concrete, before looking up at her with drooped ears. Vanessa chuckled gently and squatted down, kissing the pup on the head and rubbing his ears. “Good boy, Dogmeat. You head back home okay, it’s not far from here, back to Sanctuary Hills.” 

She pushed herself to her feet and stretched, hissing lightly at the way her joints cracked in her knees. “Doll you’re gonna change the Commonwealth. Whether you like it or not.” The detective placed a hand on her shoulder, and she turned to face him, a slight pained expression on her face. “Only question is, Mr Valentine, will I change it for the better or for the worse?” The question startled him, and she shrugged, flicking his cigarette to the ground and stubbing it out with the toe of his shoe. “Ms Everly, that is a question only you can answer.” 

It wasn’t what she wanted to hear. But it was satisfying enough. She nodded and the two moved around the side of the building, trying to find a way in. Spotting the turrets on the roof, Nick had helped her climb up, and began firing on them as she creeped across it to find a way in. “There’s a roof access door!” She’d shouted, turning her gun on the turrets and wrenching the hatch open, Nick had hopped up on the roof after the turrets were taken care of, and the two dropped down inside the building.

“If Kellogg really is working with the Institute, this place will be crawling with Gen 1’s and 2’s.” 

“You say ‘crawling’ like they’re animals or bugs.” 

“Basically are, they’re not civilised like me, I’m afraid, Doll. Just as handsome though.” Vanessa scoffed and rolled her eyes, crouching down to move low to the ground. “How are we playing this?”

“You ever fought Synths before? I’ll take that blank expression as a no. They’re not like raiders, or animals, can’t injure them and run, they’ll keep coming at ya until they’re a mess of bolts and plastic on the floor.” 

“Wonderful.” 

“They’re also programmed with highly reactive sensors, you’re not gonna be able to sneak by big groups of them, and picking them off will be difficult.” 

“Hard and fast then?” 

“I will never get used to you saying things like that with that Mr Handy accent of yours.” She rolled her eyes and re-tied the laces on her boots. “I’ll try to take that as a compliment.” 

The two moved their way through the halls, Vanessa was visibly uncomfortable with putting down the synths, and Nick noticed how she kept glancing at him, and the way her fingers were curled tighter around the pistol than they normally did. “It doesn’t bother me, y’know.” She huffed and looked at him, back pressed against the wall as he hacked a terminal. “The synths?” “You putting them down.” Vanessa furrowed her brow, listening to the sounds of the keyboard tapping away. 

“They look like you.” 

Nick nodded, and managed to get into the terminal, turning off the automated defences inside the fort. “Yeah, they do. That bother you?” He moved over to her, offering her a can of purified water from inside his coat, she smiled faintly and took a sip, her hands trembling slightly. “It doesn’t bother me that you look like them, it bothers me that they look like you.” It made her think of her shooting him. That made sense, he nodded and gently patted her shoulder, taking the empty water can back and placing it on the table next to them. 

He put a hand on her back and gently pushed her. She’d stopped shaking and had clearly had her mind set on the task at hand, as she didn’t chirp up with any sarcastic quips, and her face was sterner than he’d ever seen it. She was adjusting to putting the synths down, and the two of them were like machines, pardon the pun, taking about an hour to reach Kellogg. 

Nick worried about her for the first time when she slammed the side of her hand into the wall when Kellogg started mocking her over the speakers. The knuckles of her pinkie and ring fingers were bleeding and he could see bruising already forming along the side. He opened his mouth to suggest they stop for him to check over her wounds when she broke open the locked door by kicking it. Now was evidently not the time. 

“And there she is, the most resilient woman in the Commonwealth.” Kellogg had his hands raised, and the Gen 1’s in the room with him had their pistols by their sides. Vanessa kept her pistol trained straight between his eyes, holding it in her left hand coolly. “My synths are standing down, my gun is holstered, let’s talk.” She didn’t even flinch, Nick gently placed a hand on her shoulder. “Vanessa we don’t have to fight-“

“I don’t want to talk. I want my  _ fucking _ son!” Kellogg laughed, and Nick had to grip her shoulder tightly to stop her from immediately unloading her whole case of bullets in the merc’s head. “If you’re hoping for a happy reunion, it’s not gonna happen, the kid’s not here, and your husband is dead.” Nick found himself grabbing both of her arms, so far she’d only killed people that had shot at her first, to his knowledge anyway, and he’d seen how people changed after firing the first shot. If Nick could get her to leave without spilling the merc’s blood he could still count the trip as a success, since her son wasn’t here. “If he’s not here. Tell me where the  _ fuck  _ he is, Kellogg.”

“Shaun's in a good place. Where he's safe, and comfortable, and loved. A place he calls home. The Institute.” Vanessa’s arm dropped slightly, and her shoulders sagged. Nick cursed gently under his breath, they both knew that nobody gets in or out of the Institute. 

“In a hundred years, when I finally die. I only hope I go to hell, so I can kill you all over again.” And before Nick could stop her, she shot him right between the eyes. The gen 1’s immediately turned hostile, and he grabbed her wrist, pulling her round the corner as one of the laser shots grazed her arm. “Jesus Christ, Vanessa.”

Her pack clattered to the ground and she yanked her shotgun from it, reloading the barrel, and moved out from Nick’s grasp, firing rounds into the synths. Ten minutes later, and the room was cleared out. Vanessa was sat on the floor by Kellogg’s corpse, holding a cigarette between trembling fingers, Nick standing next to her. The two stayed silent for a moment, before he slid down to sit next to her. “You didn’t have to kill him. But I can’t blame you for doing so.”

“This isn’t a world where things can be solved with words anymore, Nick. Bastard knew I was coming for him. He said so himself. I only regret not doing it slower.” She stubbed out her cigarette on Kellogg’s leg, and looked over the corpse. “He’s covered in cybernetics, more machine than man.” Nick moved to look over as well, before gently hooking his fingers around a piece of metal that was inside what remained of Kellogg’s head. 

“Nick that’s disgusting.” She slid closer to look at it, and he put it in her palm. “Ew, oh my God don’t put it on me! What the hell is it!?” “Brain cybernetics. I know a gal in Goodneighbour who might be able to use this to help us with a lead.” She ran her thumb over it, and then handed it back to Nick, who put it into a cap pouch, and went to unlock the gate. “Piper has nothing good to say about Goodneighbour.” He scoffed as he tapped away at the terminal, straightening his hat with a hand. “Piper has nothing good to say about Diamond City, or really anything. However, Goodneighbour isn’t the safest place in the Commonwealth, so you’ll have to keep your wits about ya.” 

The two of them walked towards the exit, pulling her up onto the roof. “You wanna go straight up to Goodneighbour, or stop in back at the great green jewel first?” She shook her head, and checked her Pipboy map. “You need to rest at some point, Vanessa.” She shook her head again, curls bouncing, it was impressive really, how they kept their shape despite it all. “I’m fine. I’ve slept for 200 years. I can sleep when we’ve got a lead.” She swung her legs over the side of the roof, and hopped down onto the ground, this time it was Nick’s turn to shake his head and he climbed off the roof after her. 

She was waiting, cigarette between her red lips, plotting the course to Goodneighbour on her map. Nick had taken longer to get off the roof than she had. “I know the way.” “I know, this is just in case. If we get separated last thing I want to be doing is working out the way whilst being chased by raiders or those green mutant things.” They walked alongside each other, and she lit up another cigarette for him, her lipstick leaving marks along it. 

One of her hands was on the pistol she’d taken from Kellogg, it was weightier than her 10mm and she was trying to get used to the balance of it. Her other was free to move her cigarette when needed. By the time they got back into the main city area of Boston, her legs were beginning to ache, which she pushed to the back of her mind, as she knew that ache would become muscle. “Boston Commons.” Nick said quietly, dropping to the ground, Vanessa frowned at him curiously but crouched down with him. “This place isn’t like what it was in your times. There’s a…  _ thing _ here, that nobody has been able to take down. If we’re wanting to get to Goodneighbour alive, stay quiet.” 

Vanessa sucked in a breath and nodded, following Nick close to the ground. Something stirred from inside the pond and she heard a noise she’d never heard before, Nick tensed up and glanced over his shoulder at her. “Just move.” He whispered, “Don’t look back, just keep moving.” They slid through an alleyway, and moved to stand up properly, Nick stretching as he did so. “The sign here is worse than yours. When I first saw your sign I thought it was a brothel.” Nick rolled those glowing yellow orbs, and listened to her laugh.

“Gee thanks, Doll. Now, once we’re in there, I need you to be careful, okay? It’s safe from raiders and muties, but it’s the people inside you need to worry about. You stay by the front gate, I’m gonna go talk to Doctor Amari, see if she can get us in, then I’ll come back for you, alright? Good. Let’s get this ball rolling.” 


	5. Dorothy and the Tin Man

Nick and Vanessa had met with Amari the same day, she’d explained the situation at hand, and how it was indeed possible for them to get the information they needed from Kellogg’s brain. Despite the fact they both knew this was the only way she’d be able to get a lead on getting her son back, Vanessa had protested extensively about her worries of what would happen to  _ him _ . Would it hurt  _ him.  _ Would  _ he  _ be okay? In truth, none of them knew for certain what would happen, so Nick agreed to travel with her for a few more days, just so he could be “certain with your decision”, despite the fact he’d already made up his mind.

“I wanna know more about  _ you, _ Doll. Y’know, before they plug a psychotic mercenary into my head.”

Was something he’d said to her over a nuka cola and vodka in the Third Rail. She’d smiled faintly at him in the dingy little bar, and agreed to take him to her pre-war home.

And so off they headed, back to Sanctuary Hills. He’d helped her take apart her old bedroom, and they’d set up a new bed and fixed up her chest of drawers. In that process Nick had managed to bust open the safe they’d found under the bed.

_ “Whoa, this is a fine looking pistol? It yours, Doll?” He held it out to her, it glinting gold in the setting sunlight. It was a greyish traditional gunmetal, with ornate carving along it. The handle was pearled. He slipped it into her hands, and she rubbed her thumb against it gently. She remembered the feel of that cool barrel pressed against her head in the dead of the night.  _

_ “It was Nathaniel’s.”  _

He’d stayed with her until she’d begun to get tired, in which he’d blown out the candle and moved out of the room, knowing he’d be ready for her if she needed it.

The next morning, Preston had caught them as Nick was convincing her it was time for them to head back to Goodneighbour. Nick took mental note of how Vanessa shuffled uncomfortably and rolled her eyes slightly as Preston gave them some extensive story on some settlers that needed help. 

In the end, it had been about another week before they’d found themselves back at the Memory Den. Vanessa looked more tired now than she did after their fight with Kellogg, and she’d actually been sleeping. She was sat in the memory lounger, eyes trained on the floor, her leg bouncing nervously. A merc he’d heard of that she had picked up to help them out, MacCready, was crouched besides her on the floor, gently rubbing her arm. “Come on, let’s all go for a drink, hey boss?” 

Valentine watched closely as MacCready and Amari helped her from the chair. Her legs were trembling slightly. She looked weak. 

She looked like  _ prey _ . 

“Valentine, you and the boss head round to the Rail, grab the first round, I’ll grab her stuff and talk to Hancock about getting a free room somewhere for the night. The VIP lounge isn’t particularly comfortable.” Nick had nodded, watching as the slender,  _ soft _ , pre-war woman, beamed up at him like he was more than just a rusty old synth. 

She’d walked slightly ahead of him, and as they neared the third rail, his hand had shot out to grab her wrist, and he’d slammed her against the wall. A strangled whimper came from the back of her throat. “N-Nick? Are you alright?” Even as he was gripping her arm tight enough to bruise, she was still more concerned for him. “You find what you were looking for whilst poking around inside my head?” His voice sounded gravelier than he was used to. She quickly turned to face him, and his skeletal, metal hand moved to press against her throat. 

“Kellogg. Let, ah, let Nick go!” He laughed and pressed closer to her, as she squirmed in his grasp. “I could kill you right here and you’re more worried about the fucking synth.” Panic began to build in Vanessa’s stomach, she could scream for help, and hope to whatever-God that someone in Goodneighbour would care. Maybe Hancock, he’d seemed like a nice guy, even if her first introduction to the ghoul was him stabbing a stranger, and then pulling her in for a hug whilst still holding a knife, and with blood splattered all up his shirt. 

MacCready! He must be around somewhere. 

Or he could be robbing her.

“So, little frozen tv dinner, what are we going to do with you?” His forehead pressed against hers, and he slid his tongue against his lips, she let out a dry sob and tried to push him off her. Vanessa squeezed her eyes shut, focussing on anything other than what was happening. Her heart thudding in her ears. The buzzing sound of the neon signs. Her boots kicking up gravel on the ground. Footsteps. 

_ Footsteps. _

She opened her eyes, and looked over Nick’s shoulder, shivering as the cool breeze hit her now bare chest, goosebumps prickling up across her skin.  _ Mac _ . The sweet little angel. He slammed the butt of his rifle against Nick’s head, and the synth blacked out, falling to the ground, Vanessa catching herself before her legs gave out. 

“Jeez, boss. Never thought Nicky would… I’m sorry I-“ “That wasn’t Nick.” The younger merc averted his gaze as she fumbled with the zipper on her suit, gently kicking at the old synth’s leg. “It was Kellogg.” Mac was taken aback, he watched as she slid down to the floor, rubbing her tear stained face with the back of her hand. “But how?” She shook her head, pressing her face down into her fingers as she tried not to scream. “I don’t think… I hope he didn’t mean…” The merc swallowed, sighed and slung his rifle and her pack over his shoulder, before pulling her to her feet. “C’mon Boss. Hancock set us up with a free room in the Rexford, you’re taking the couch though, I get the bed for saving your ass back there.” 

She let out a weak chuckle and let him lead her into the old hotel. They stopped for him to have a quick conversation with the woman behind the counter, Vanessa would later find out her name was Clair, before they went into the room for the night. “I was joking by the way. I’m in the room next door. You gonna be alright Vanessa?” She sat down on the bed, before curling up, clutching an old straw pillow to her chest. “That’s the first time you said my name.”

“Well you know mine, so if you need me just like, scream, alright?” And with that he was gone. And despite the situation she’d just found herself in, she didn’t struggle for long to sleep. These sorts of things seemed to be commonplace in the wasteland. She needed to learn that it was a dog-eat-dog world. 

*

The next morning, as the sun streamed through the dusty old windows, Vanessa for a moment forgot where she was, until she heard Mac shouting outside her door.

“Look, I don’t think it’s a good idea, pal!” Who on earth was he yelling at? That boy really needed to learn about inside voices. “I need to apologise to her.” Ah, so it was Nick. “Really don’t think she’s gonna want to see you.” Vanessa pushed herself off the tired mattress, and stretched until her back and shoulders clicked satisfyingly, before pulling the room door open slowly.

She was met with MacCready’s back, his arms spread out with hands pressed to the wall either side of the door. She peeked over his shoulder and immediately met that cold, gold gaze of the synth. “Vanessa I-“ Panic set in immediately, and she grabbed the back of Mac’s duster, tight enough that her knuckles were turning white. “Stay away.” “You heard the boss, Nick.” He outstretched that clawed metal hand in her direction, and she flinched backwards, pulling Mac back with her. “Nick I, I can’t trust you.” “Vanessa, doll, it wasn’t me-“ “Regardless, I can’t have you watching my back anymore, less you fire a shot into it.” 

MacCready was surprised at how calm and cold her voice was. It was if she was speaking to someone who’d knocked over her drink, not someone who’d tried to- God he didn’t even want to think about it. “Come on MacCready, let’s go. We need to find some way to get into the Glowing Sea.” 

“Doll you’re gonna need power armor or something to get out there.” “Then I’ll find it. Thank you for your time Mister Valentine but I will no longer be needing your services.” With that she slipped under the merc’s arm and made her way towards the exit of the hotel. “Look, Nicky I get you probably didn’t mean for all that to happen, but you can’t be mad at her for-“ “Watch that one, Mac. She’s not just some doe eyed vault dweller.” He felt anger rising in his chest. “If I should be watching anyone it’s you!” The old synth just laughed, in a voice not of his own, and shook his head. Mac skulked off after the woman who’d hired him.

“Hey, Vanessa, how’re you doing?” The boss was leaning against the wall of the hotel, frowning as she fiddled with her pipboy. “You’re using my name again.” He lit up a cigarette. “Is that a problem boss? Is your pipboy alright?” She smiled at him, dropping her arm to her side. “I’m not entirely sure how I feel about being called boss either. Pipboy is picking up some funky radio signal, I’m not sure where from but it’ll be worth investigating at some point.”

She began walking, Mac jogged to catch up with her, gently elbowing her. “And where are we going?” The short blonde looked up at him, he wasn’t much taller than her, just enough that she had to tilt her head to meet his eyes. “Cambridge Police Station. The day I hired you, we came across a small group of soldiers, Brotherhood of something.” “Brotherhood of Steel.” The gate clattered behind them. They’d moved Finn’s body, but the bloodstain was still there. 

“You know them?” Vanessa and Nick hadn’t stuck around Cambridge for long, they’d helped the soldiers get rid of some ghouls and the leader of the group had requested help, but they couldn’t lend a hand at that point. “Yeah I wanted to sign up with them back at the Citadel, couldn’t get along with it.” She grinned up at him, pulling her hair back into a bun. “More like you didn’t like being told what to do. They had Power Armor. Paladin Danse, I think his name was, said if I helped him, I could look at joining up. I’m thinking we join up, grab some power armor, and head out into the sea.” 

Her plan seemed fairly thought out. Besides the fact they didn’t really know what they were walking into once they were in the sea. She had a pretty good head on her shoulders, and she was looking for her son. She was willing to run headfirst into the biggest dump the Commonwealth had to offer just to find her son. Mac knew he’d do the same. In fact he was trying to do the same. And that made her good in his book.

The Paladin towered over them both, and Vanessa seemed on edge around him. If the bombs had dropped a few years earlier than they had, with soldiers would be where she felt safest. But from her time with Nathaniel, she’d learnt to always be wary. He’d explained they’d needed a deep range transmitter, to contact their main fleet, they needed backup or something, and Vanessa had agreed on their behalf to help out. It didn’t matter much to the merc, she’d paid him a lump sum, and often gave him free range of loot to sell. 

“You’re not much for conversation, huh, big guy?” She really did like to play with fire. The paladin glared back at her from behind the helmet, she didn’t need to see his eyes to know. “Civilian it is my mission to get us to Arc Jet, get the transmitter and get us back, we don’t have time for idle chatter.” “I think we do actually.” Mac chuckled, watching her skip up to the Paladin and gently elbow him. The tin man could act as frosty as he wanted, she had a talent for getting people to soften up to her. She’d done it to him, she’d done it to Nick, she’d done it to plenty of settlers who now fawned over her and called her General and offered her food and water for free.

“So, Danse, how does one become a paladin?” Vanessa polished her pistol with a sleeve. “Hard work and dedication to the Brotherhood.” Mac looked up just as she looked over her shoulder at him and rolled her eyes. Her smile was infectious. “Well I’m going to steal your job, Robo-Cop.” He chose to ignore her, and Mac jogged to catch up with them. He was used to following her from a distance. Easier to make sure nobody was going to pick her off. “Here we are, Arc Jet. Civilians, are you ready? I want this to be a clean sweep, no heroics.” Mac rolled his eyes, Vanessa bit her lip gently to stifle a laugh. “Oh of course Paladin. Let’s go.”

They moved through the building as quickly as they could, which wasn’t easy what with the clunky armor the paladin was wearing. Danse was taking the lead, Vanessa following him with Mac behind as usual, he was close enough that she could kick him gently when he sighed particularly loudly at something Danse said. They moved into a room and were suddenly attacked by gen 1’s. She froze, and as Danse opened fire and began yelling at her, Mac dragged her back, pushing her behind him. 

“The hell is wrong with her?!” Mac simply rolled his eyes, and raised his rifle. Bullets and laser shorts flew through the hair, it wasn’t clear what brought Vanessa back, but Mac heard the telltale fire of her fancy little pistol. 

Vanessa’s throat was tight, and she felt her palms slightly sweaty. She’d never expected her body to react in this way, especially after she’d been so calm earlier that morning. The panic that set in when those gold eyes locked on her. The ghostly presence of a metal hand wrapped around her neck. She took great pleasure in putting those machines down. She didn’t notice Mac and Danse shouting for her as she moved past them, unloading clip after clip into the synths. Going as far as using the butt of the pistol, slamming it into the heads of the machines. “Civilian! Get her now and get her under control! She’s putting herself, and by extension us, at risk!” 

MacCready didn’t have to be told, he dropped his rifle and amongst the laser fire, hooked his arms under hers and pulled her back. She thrashed in his grip, legs flailing wildly. She wasn’t heavy, but she was heavier than he anticipated. His arms trembled but he managed to get her back into the corridor, as Danse took out the few stragglers that she hadn’t taken out in her fit of violence. “Vanessa, what the he-heck, were you thinking?” She stopped struggling, her breath was stabilising, and as she looked up and made eye contact with him, those grey orbs were glistening with tears. 

She was determined to not let them fall. 

Her eyebrows knitted together, and she gently pushed his hands off her, stretching and turning her face away.

“I took them out. I stopped them before they… before they hurt us.” Things clicked into place. He hadn’t even considered the similarities between the synths and Nick, since people didn’t really see him as one. “Shit, I’m sorry Boss, I didn’t think-“ “Wow, you swore in front of me.” She wheezed out a laugh, and he frowned. “I made a promise to my son that I would cut out the cursing.” 

“Shit.  _ Shit _ . MacCready, I’m… Where is he?” He shook his head, dusted himself down and reached for his rifle. “Not for now. We’ve got plenty of time to talk about it. But not now.” She worried immensely for the younger man. Had she really been rambling about her son and bringing him into her family drama when he’d lost his?

“Civilian, as much as I appreciate your assistance, I would appreciate it more if you didn’t lose control and put your life at unnecessary risk.” “You’ve got it Paladin, I’ll be more careful from here on out.” He nodded in satisfaction, and led them back down into the room. “We need to get this elevator working, I’ll stand watch, you two go see if you can power it up.” “On it like a car bonnet!” She was putting that calm, perfect housewife face back on, and Mac was starting to wonder if he should take Nick’s words more seriously. Maybe there  _ was _ something he needed to watch out for. She’d done more than prove to him she was more than a doe-eyed vault dweller.

Her hair had begun to tumble from its bun, so she raked her fingers through her hair to fix it, whilst curiously inspecting a strange looking launcher sat on the table. “What in the hell? Mac honey, have you ever seen anything quite like this?” He poked at it with the end of his gun, not wanting to touch it with his hand in case it blew up or something crazy. “Nope.” “If we ever need to enter an ugliest dog contest for guns, we’ll have to come back for this one.” Why the hell did they have contests for the ugliest dog? Hearing dumb things about the society of before made it hard to believe they’d been smart enough to create nuclear warfare. However it did explain how they were dumb enough to push the button.

“Ooh a terminal! My favourite.” She was being blatantly sarcastic, but knew full well asking Mac for his help was useless. And as mad as she was at Nick, she didn’t half wish he was around to crack it open for her. It only took a few minutes and a lot of whining before she had it open, when Mac noticed the sounds of laser fire from the other room. “Uh, boss, sounds like your friend is in trouble.” The lights in the room flickered on, and a robotic voice over the intercom announced power being rerouted to a prototype. Vanessa followed Mac’s gaze through the window, where the paladin was being overwhelmed by an onslaught of synths. 

“Shut those doors.” Mac frowned at her. “Look, I don’t like the guy but maybe we shouldn’t leave him to  _ die _ , Boss.” Vanessa rolled her eyes, slamming her hand down on the red button in the centre of the console. The voice began a countdown. “We’re not leaving him to die. Providing his power armor is of any use against the heat.” As the merc went to shut the door, he realised that the older woman could probably tell him to shoot someone  _ without _ paying him, and he’d probably do it. 

He jogged round the corner as the countdown neared zero, where Vanessa turned to smile at him, a pair of round white sunglasses sat on her nose. “We shall hope he’s alright.” She sounded genuine. But it was never clear if she was. The prototype fired, and MacCready realised why she had put sunglasses on. He flinched backwards and felt her hand over his eyes. “We don’t want those baby blues going blind now do we?~” Her skin was cool, and soft. Even softer than he’d expected. Her skin not yet calloused from years of using guns like his were. As the air cooled, her hand left his face, and she was tugging him round the corner to check on the paladin. 

She tucked the sunglasses into the collar of her suit, and stepped over the litters of ash and synth parts along the floor. The paladin was still alive, God knows how, it was impressive really. “Oh my gosh, Paladin Danse are you alright?” She sounded concerned. She knew what was going to happen though, could she have given the tin man a warning at least? “I’m fine. Power armor stopped the flames from cooking me completely.” He pushed himself to his feet, and she gently placed a hand on a clunky metal arm. “If you hopped out of there I could give you a check over.” They both heard the Paladin huff, and watched as he reloaded his rifle. “No thank you Civilian. We have a mission to complete. The elevator is back on, let’s get moving.” 

Vanessa grinned at Mac as they all piled into the way too small elevator. It would’ve been a tight squeeze if the paladin wasn’t wearing the power armor. She was standing at an angle with her chest pressed against the merc’s, he stared at the ground to ignore the situation. “Civilian, I’m glad you changed your mind and came back to assist.” She chuckled, and Mac’s face heated up as he felt her breath close to his ear. “Paladin, as I told you on our last meeting I have a name.” 

The lift shuddered to a halt, and Danse got out first. Vanessa poked Mac’s nose and tugged his hat down over his eyes slightly. “Yes I recall, Everly. I can call you that if you’d prefer.” “Everly?” “Yes, it was my maiden name. I’d prefer you called me Vanessa, but Everly is a step in the right direction. Hold on. I can hear gen ones.” 

And surely enough, “searching,” was heard by the party, and a synth rounded the corner. Mac didn’t hesitate in immediately putting a bullet between its eyes. “One of these synths must have the transmitter. That will be what they’re here for. Let’s take them out, and find the tech.” They moved into the room, and began their assault on the synths. There weren’t nearly as many as anticipated, the brunt of them must’ve been taken out by the prototype. 

As the men took out the last few, Vanessa began picking through the “corpses”. “Got it!” She called, standing up with the transmitter in hand. “Excellent work, Everly. Let’s get back to the police station, and work on contacting our Elder.” They all climbed back into the elevator, and made their way out of the building. Their journey back to Cambridge was lacklustre, with nothing of note happening. Vanessa was chatting away to the Paladin, who was responding with little more than “yes” and “no” and “Everly”. She was working him down though, as by the time they returned to Cambridge, he was telling her stories of his missions, and since he’d taken his helmet off, the occasional smile that graced his face was noticeable. 

“Paladin! You’re back! Did you manage to find the transmitter?” “Everly here has it.” Vanessa slid her pack off her shoulder and fumbled in it for a moment, before pulling out the transmitter. “Ah! Vanessa you’re a star!” She grinned smugly up at Danse. “See, Haylen can say my name.” The scribe shook her head and smiled, looking over the tech before moving to return to the building. “Everything’s ready to go, if you’d like to come up with us and wait I’m sure the Elder will have an answer for Danse’s request to promote you to initiate.” “Haylen!” The scribe looked startled. “Were we not telling her?” 

Vanessa followed the soldiers inside the building, glancing over her shoulder to beckon for MacCready to follow with a finger. “Wow I’m honoured paladin, do I get a spiffy uniform? I think the orange would compliment my skin.” Haylen chuckled, before Danse shot her down with a glare. “Soldier, the brotherhood is about bravery, honour and integrity. Fighting for more than yourself. You will learn some respect if you are to join our ranks.” The blonde rolled her eyes at Mac, but simply smiled and nodded to the soldier. “Yes sir.” 

They all sat quietly in one of the old office rooms, Scribe Haylen periodically sending in messages until a voice crackled over the speakers. “This is Elder Maxson of the Brotherhood of Steel. Is this Recon Squad Gladius making contact?” “Maxson-?” Vanessa couldn’t finish what she was saying as Danse glared at her, he moved closer to the mic. “Elder Maxson, Paladin Danse reporting in. I have a civilian with us who aided the defence of our team and the recovery of some valuable tech. I have field-promoted her to initiate, pending your approval.” Vanessa knew that name. 

“Danse! It’s good to hear you’re well. We are on our way into the Commonwealth already, I’ll have a personal meeting with you and our new Initiate upon our arrival, regarding the possibility of her becoming a Knight.” Haylen looked excited, she took Vanessa’s arm and ushered her from the room. Mac was leaning on the wall outside the doorway. “If they’re coming in the Prydwen we’ll see her fly above!” 

“Is there anything else I need to know about our newest recruit, Paladin?” 

“Indeed, Elder. Upon our first meeting, Everly explained to me that she’s pre-war. For the last two hundred years she’s been held in cryogenic stasis in a vault. There were no other survivors. Her husband was of importance in the military but he was killed, their child was taken. I heard a companion of hers mention the Institute being a probable culprit, therefore it is likely she will have a personal stake in our war.” The sounds of the Elder conversing with someone else could be heard gently. 

“She will have to have a full medical examination on her arrival. This is quite an anomaly Paladin. I am interested in speaking with her personally. We will send a Vertibird to your location to pick you up. And once again, I am glad you are well, Paladin. Elder Maxson signing off.” 

Paladin Danse went to find the Scribe and the Initiate, they were standing on the roof, the merc companion with them. He could hear the whirring of engines and the sound of someone over a speaker. The Prydwyn had arrived. The look of amazement on the face of Vanessa couldn’t drop him from smiling. “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” The vault dweller looked up at the Paladin, infectious grin on her face. “You’ve got that right! Even from before… I’ve never seen anything like it. Not for real at least!” “They certainly know how to make an entrance.” MacCready muttered, as Vertibirds took off from the sides of the ship, and spread across the wastes. 

The wind whipped up and Vanessa backed up to stand behind Mac as one of the ‘birds moved to attempt a landing on the roof of the station. “Have you ever ridden one of these before?” She asked Mac in hushed tones, he shook his head, she seemed on edge. “Nope, you?” She nibbled at her lip. She had a habit of doing that. He’d seen those glossy red lips stained with her own blood more than once. “Yes. Twice. Nathaniel was invited to test out the prototypes on multiple occasions.” “Nathaniel was-?” “My husband, yes.” He just nodded, and awkwardly patted her shoulder. He wasn’t sure what to say. He still hurt over the loss of Lucy, and she’d lost her husband weeks ago. He’d heard her talking to Nick some nights, he knew the things her husband had done. But it would be a crushing event for someone, regardless. 

“Are you two ready?” The Paladin was back in his power armor, Vanessa pulled away from the wall and smiled. “I think we’re as ready as we will ever be, Paladin.” He climbed up into the ship, offering a hand to help the pre-war woman. Mac followed suit, sitting on the bench besides Danse. “Everly, you man the turret. Shoot at anything that poses a threat, but properly identify your targets  _ first _ . The last thing we want is starting fights with the locals.” The aircraft whirred to life, as Vanessa clipped herself in, gripping the handles on the minigun tight. So tight they looked as though they would burst through her skin. 

She was not made for a weapon that heavy, her body shook with every round she fired. Her hair whipped in the wind and Vanessa found herself less scared than she had anticipated. Her time in the Commonwealth, despite it not being particularly long, was already changing her. She worried immensely that it wouldn’t be for the better. She’d seen raiders, and gunners and ferals. She’d seen the way people had been corrupted, and changed. She’d seen humanity lost, at its worst. And she feared she’d lose her own humanity, feared she’d lose  _ herself _ . 


	6. Show No Mercy

* * *

“Elder Maxson will be holding his address shortly, Paladin, make sure she is in attendance.” Captain Kells’ looked the pre-war woman up and down again, and Vanessa had to divert her attention to reciting her lines for an old Vault-Tec ad in her head to stop herself from biting the man’s head off again. Danse’s disapproving looks and sighs were frustrating. And MacCready laughing was only exacerbating the situation. “And get her a damn uniform. She looks like a damn scavver.” That was it. That was what it took to set her off.

“Who the hell is  _ she _ !? The cat’s mother?” MacCready cackled from behind her, even though Vanessa was certain he probably didn’t understand what she’d said. Once again, the Paladin sighed and when Ness made eye contact with him, she actually felt a little bad for how disappointed he looked. But that was  _ also  _ infuriating.

“Initiate! You will  _ not  _ speak to your superior officers in this manner again. This is the last warning I will give you, and if I hear of it again, I will see to it personally that you are removed from our ranks.” She smiled, before letting out a slow breath. “Yes, Captain Kells. I-“ Danse cut her off before she could say anymore. “Come on Everly, let’s get to Maxson’s address.” The sound of the Paladin clunking along the metal walkway would quickly start to grate on Vanessa. Not to mention she hated being this far above the ground. 

The Elder was just starting when they entered the ship, standing with his back to the other soldiers. Vanessa looked back at Mac and rolled her eyes with a grin, he grinned back and stood awkwardly in the doorway, whilst she leant against the wall, and began flicking through her Pip-Boy. Danse cleared his throat and flared down at her, she simply smiled and turned her attention back to the screen. He had no idea what she was watching that was more interesting, but Maxson’s speeches were always something that he enjoyed, and he wouldn’t let her ruin it. 

Once he’d finished, Vanessa mumbled “Ad Victoriam”, with the other soldiers, and turned to leave. “Initiate, wait.” Danse grabbed her shoulder and she glared at him. “Everly… Your merc friend and I will wait out here.” “Don’t leave me alone with him!” She hissed quietly, “if you’re going don’t take Mac!” The Paladin shook his head and Vanessa looked over him at the merc. “Everly, he wants to speak to you personally, this is not for us, besides, we’re not going far, do not act like a child. As your superior officer-“ 

She rolled her eyes and waved a hand at him, moving over to talk to the Elder, who was looking out the window again. “I care about them, you know, the people of the Commonwealth.” That was a loaded statement. She had paid attention to his dramatic little speech. And although she didn’t fully agree with it, there was some degree of “care”. 

“I can see that. But why not leave them to their own devices? The Brotherhood is interfering where they don’t belong.” His tone shifted immediately. “Leaving them to their own devices is what reduced this metropolis to ruins in the first place. I’m a bit surprised that  _ you _ of all people don’t understand that by now.” Wow, he was infuriating. Talking to her like she was a child when all she’d heard since she met the Brotherhood was about how young he was. 

“I hope this isn’t another Brotherhood morals lecture.” “Not at all. In fact, it’s clear from Paladin Danse’s reports that you understand our core values.” He turned to face her and she sucked in a sudden breath, taking a step back from him.  _ That _ was where she had heard the name. Roger Maxson was a family friend, they’d gotten on well until Nathaniel had begun to get jealous. “My God…” A scowl crossed the younger man’s face as he looked down at her, hands pressed over her shiny red lips. It was him. Standing in front of her. Despite the scars, and the beard. It was still Roger. “Initiate?” 

She reached a hand out towards him, and he grabbed her wrist the minute her fingertips made contact with his cheek. “You look so much like him, you know? Roger.” “Everly what are you doing? Elder, I am so sorry for her behaviour.” Danse had come into the room now, out of his power armor. Maxson still had his hand wrapped around her wrist and Vanessa was frozen, mouth agape. “Roger? Roger Maxson?” She nodded. “You  _ knew  _ Roger Maxson? He founded the Brotherhood. I knew you were pre-war, but I didn’t even consider that. When you have the time, I’d like to know more about him.” He released her wrist and she stepped backwards again, bumping into the Paladin. “There are no apologies required, Danse. It is an overwhelming situation your knight finds herself in.” 

Elder Maxson turned back to the window. “Knight, sir?” “Wow I’m travelling back in time now.” “Everly!” Maxson was grateful for the ability to hide his smile in this moment. It still made his cheeks sore to do so. “Yes. As we discussed, Knight Everly’s work was invaluable in your operations here, therefore I decided it was of worthy cause to promote her. That will be all, Ad Victoriam.” Infuriating. Why was every Brotherhood soldier so infuriating? “You alright, Vanessa?” She looked up at the merc, and forced a smile before elbowing him in the side. “Always, Mac.” 

The Paladin led them down into the airship rambling about one thing or another. Vanessa was clearly in her head, Mac didn’t know who Roger was. In fact he was pretty certain her husband had been called Nate or something to that description. He bumped her with his elbow, like she often did, and she smiled up at him. “Who’s Roger?” “Roger was my best friend. His family was influential even before the war, my father and his were good friends, so when we moved to America we pretty much grew up together, he was how we met Nathaniel.” She sighed, rubbing her palms on her legs. “He was a great man, I don’t know where he ended up, but I certainly hope the bombs didn’t- you know.” 

“Well Soldier, it’s time for you to meet your other superior officers. Knight Captain Cade, Proctor Quinlan, Proctor Teagan and Proctor Ingram. Teagan is to give you your uniform, he shouldn’t charge you, but if he does, here.” The Paladin handed her about 10 caps. Well that was most likely not going to be enough, but Vanessa thanked him anyway. “I would like to come with you, I’ve seen how you can be around… authority. However, you may want to make a first impression without a Paladin watching over your shoulder. The decision is up to you.”

“Well, what do you think?” “I think I would like to join you.” Although she was expecting him to send her on her own, she couldn’t really be surprised. Since arriving on the Prydwen she had cussed out Knight Captain Kells and grabbed the Elder’s face. “Let’s uh, let's get going then.” “You getting rid of me already, Nessa?” “Oh of course, I’m going to shove you off the top of the ship. Don’t be an idiot.” She pulled his hat off, and put it on. “Actually, soldier, it won’t be wise to have a civilian involved in Brotherhood affairs.” She tensed up and turned back to the Paladin. “Excuse me? Paladin Danse?” “Sh-Shoot, Vanessa don’t-“ “I don’t care about Brotherhood affairs, I’m helping out here on my  _ own _ terms.” 

“Knight Everly. You are a soldier under  _ my  _ charge. You will respect me, and the Brotherhood.” The woman folded her arms over her chest, and one of her eyebrows quirked upwards. “Excuse me, Paladin Danse, but if I want this ‘civilian’ around, to meddle in the Brotherhood’s affairs, I damn sure will.” “You know you sound more like one of those robots when you’re angry-“ “MacCready shut up.” And with that, the feisty little vault dweller turned and walked off. Mac awkwardly shrugged at Danse and jogged after her. She was quick and angry and he had to admit he was a little scared but that was what made her exciting. 

“Knight Captain Cade? I’m-“ “Ah, the new Knight. here for your medical examination I presume?” “As long as there are no rubber gloves and lube involved.” “Oh man.” Mac cackled behind her. “There won’t be anything like that. Just a few questions.” He looked over his clipboard, a pen resting between his fingers. “As a child, were you ever exposed to radiation for an extended period of time?” Mac laughed again and Vanessa had to gently chew her lip to stop herself from joining him. “Well Father used to shout at Mila and I for sitting too close to the television.” “The television?” “Ness this guy is for real, look Doc, think you need to check your notes here.” 

“Oh. You’re the pre-war woman. You were cryogenically frozen right? Are you suffering from any cold related ailments? Ah, it means we can cut a few of these questions out too…” “Like frostbite? Hah, no.” He skimmed through the papers and scribbled something down. “Okay. Well you’re probably healthier than anyone aboard, however, have you ever had or come in contact with a person confirmed to be carrying a communicable disease?” “Mac, is there anything you need to tell me?” 

The merc responded with a no that was defensive enough they both knew she’d tease him about it later. Vanessa responded that as far as she was aware she’d never really been sick in her life. “Third question, and please answer honestly; Have you ever had relations with any species considered non-human?” “What like a molerat or something?” “Well yes, but we’re inquiring more along the lines of ghouls and the like.” “Wait, you have a question about this?” 

“You'd be surprised how many wastelanders answer "yes" to that question. Fortunately, the Brotherhood finds that type of behavior absolutely distasteful.” “Why? Molerats and dogs and stuff I understand. But why  _ ghouls _ ? They’re just people. Irradiated. But still people.” The doctor shuffled on his feet, and glared at the woman before simply clearing his throat and deciding to move on. “Since you haven't spent too much time in the wasteland, I'll assume your answer is "no." Final question, Would you have any problems pulling the trigger on an enemy of the Brotherhood whether they're human, formerly human or machine?” 

That wasn’t just a question of health. That was a moral question. From what she’d heard from the Brotherhood thus far, it was clear they had some issues with… well everyone that wasn’t them. She wasn’t sure if the word was racist, or xenophobic but she wasn’t one, she was with them for resources,  _ not  _ to fight their race war with ghouls and synths and whatever else they didn’t like. “If my life is in danger, I will protect myself. But I won’t kill without reason.” Cade let out a sigh and put his clipboard down on his desk, nodding slowly. “That's an acceptable answer... and the most common Excellent. I think I've got all the information I need. Ad Victoriam, Knight.” 

“So you’ve never slept with a ghoul huh, Boss? Hancock will be heartbroken to find you’re covering up your secret love affair.” Vanessa shrieked and shoved Mac, who continued to laugh as he stumbled to stop himself from toppling over. She wasn’t  _ strong _ , but neither was he, really. Not that he would ever admit it. “Please tell me he doesn’t tell people that.” “How do you think I knew you before you hired me?” “Oh my God. We’ll discuss this later.” 

Once they had met with the other members of the Brotherhood’s leadership, Vanessa and Mac had wandered off to the Mess Hall. She was laying down on one of the benches, chatting away even though the merc wasn’t really listening, but she wasn’t really saying anything of significance. The most he said besides the occasional “uh huh”, was when he noticed the Paladin walk into the hall. “The tin man is here.” 

“Knight. I have your uniform, I heard you and Proctor Teagan got into a, ahem, disagreement over there being a fee, so I spoke to him and uh, collected it for you.” He was trying. She could see that. Vanessa hopped to her feet and looked at the Paladin for a moment, before smiling brightly and taking the folded uniform. “I look better in blue, but, thank you, Paladin. I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you earlier, it was uncalled for.” A small smile crossed his face, and he nodded. “Well, Elder Maxson has a mission for you. When you are ready I hope you consider having me along with you.” 

She felt bad that she caused him so much grief from the minute her boots made contact with the ship, and as much as she wasn’t particularly invested in the Brotherhood, the least she could do for the Paladin was put the garish orange jumpsuit on and go shoot whatever Maxson wanted them too. Well, assuming she wasn’t being expected to drop a mini-nuke on Goodneighbour or the Slog or something.

“MacCready turn around.” “What why- Oh for fuc-! Vanessa what is wrong with you? Why do you have to get change right- oh my god.” Vanessa cackled as he hurriedly covered his eyes, her vault suit dropping to the floor. She stepped out of it and tugged on the suit. “Well that’s a better fit than I was expecting.” “Can I open my eyes now?” He felt her shove him and he peaked through his fingers. “You can look whenever you want, cutie.” “You’re the worst.” “But you loooooove me. Your silence only confirms it, MacCready.” 

When they met the Paladin, he was back in his power armor. “We are being sent to Fort Strong. Proctor Ingram said she explained the situation with your power armor? Excellent. As much as I’d prefer you to be safe, you might encounter issues with the power armor putting you further into harm's way. Oh, and I have this for you.” He held out a laser rifle towards her. “It was from my personal armory so I know it will serve you well. That 10mm won’t be of much use against Mutants.” Well at least she knew what she was up against, she took the rifle in one hand, and ran her other hand across it. “Danse I couldn’t-“ “Well Soldier, let’s move out.” “He knows your dress size and now he’s giving you a gun as a gift? Definitely a pervert.” “MacCready shut it.” 

Yet again, Vanessa found herself shivering as they climbed onto a vertibird, and was yet again behind the minigun. She decided she probably hated guns more now than she did before the war. Well it was more that she hated having to use them. And that everyone was using them against her. In fact she’d made plenty of jokes about going back in time but she kinda wished she had. Fencing was one of the few things she loved that was part of her fitness regimen, running around with a sword would be pretty cool. As they neared Fort Strong, Danse instructed her to take out as many of the mutants as she could, thus far in the Wasteland she’d tried to avoid the things as much as she could, but it seemed to the Brotherhood, besides the institute, Mutants were public enemy number one. 

One by one the mutants fell, either to Mac’s bullets, Danse’s lasers or the poorly aimed but aggressive assault Vanessa was staging with the minigun. “Behemoth!” “What? What the fuck is a behemoth?” “Vanessa just shoot at the da...darn thing!” A behemoth was what it sounded like, a big fuck off Super Mutant with a lot of rage. “I’m gonna try to find a safe place to land, the vertibird is suffering extensive damage and I need to get it back up to the Prydwen. If you can take that thing out before we land, great, but I can’t risk blowing this thing up.” Vanessa yanked one of the grenades off her belt and threw it as hard as she could at the behemoth, it probably wouldn’t do a lot of damage, but it would get it to come closer. 

“Soldier what the hell are you doing?!” “I can’t miss it if it’s up close!” And she was right. She pointed the turret straight at the Behemoth’s head and took fire. “You all need to get off! I can’t get any closer!” Danse jumped onto the ground, Mac did the same, although with much less finesse and he wasn’t wearing power armor so it hurt a lot more. Vanessa waited until the Behemoth let out one final roar and wobbled on its feet, before she grabbed her rifle and leapt from the Vertibird as it began to ascend again. She was higher than the other two, and smaller, in fact she didn’t really think before she did it. 

“Oh for God’s sake.” The Paladin threw his rifle to the ground and caught the woman, who was clearly not going to land on her feet, before putting her down. “Well…” She was struggling to breathe. “It’s a… good thing… You were here Paladin. MacCready would’ve let me splat on the ground.” “It was your choice to jump.” “Yeah but-!” “If you two could stop bickering like complete children, and get on with our mission that would be great.” “Yes Paladin.” “Outstanding.” 

“Fat Man shells are mini nukes right?” “Indeed, and we need to get them before the Super Mutants get a chance to.” “Can I test one out before we go?” “No.” Vanessa rolled her eyes and found she was walking a quicker pace than normal to keep up with the Paladin. Mac walked fairly slowly, but she always figured that was because she did. He was keeping up fine to be fair. Which made her wanna punch him. And the way he grinned at her when she had to jog a little made her wanna punch him more. He took his hat off her head and put it back on. “You need to stop stealing from me.” He ruffled her hair with a hand and she grabbed his wrist. “Mess up my hair again and I’ll cut your hand off.” “You’d miss it~” “Shut up!” 

They had a few scuffles with mutants, but it seemed most had been brought out earlier amidst the chaos. She had to use a stimpak after a mutie had shot a hunting rifle bullet straight through her arm. It hurt like hell. Her Pip-Boy began to click steadily. “We’re near the fat man shells.” “Blimey, this hunk of junk on my arm could’ve told you that. Should I be worried about the radiation?” “No, gonna mark this place for sweep and retrieve and we’ll get out of here.” “We don’t get to play with the nukes?” “God no.” “Ness this guy is boring why’d you pick him up. Why couldn’t we join a raider clan or something.” “I think that would be fun.” “Oh my God, you two are insufferable.” 

Annoying the Paladin was becoming the two’s favourite hobby. He was warming up to them however, particularly the blonde, who despite her attitude problems, had passion. She cared. He wasn’t sure what about, but her drive was still admirable. He tossed a smoke grenade to call a Vertibird, and listened as she babbled about needing some of those. 

Danse sat down on a bench in the mess hall, next to the Vault Dweller. Her merc friend was sitting opposite her and he tensed up immediately when Danse sat down, glaring at him from under the brim of his hat. “Uh, ahem, good work today soldier, and civilian.” “Uh… thanks?” “Thank you Paladin. Did this mission go better than the last one?” Danse raised his eyebrows as she pulled three beers out of her bag, and pushed one across the table to him. The other she tossed into the air and Mac caught it. She gently traced her finger around the top of the bottle, looking at the Paladin wistfully. 

“I told you good work. Thus implying the mission went well.” “Yes, I suppose that’s correct. At least it wasn’t complete shambles.” She laughed and brought the beer to her lips, raising her eyebrows at Mac. He smiled faintly and lowered his eyes back to his gun he was cleaning on the table. They were close. Danse could see that, and although he was curious to the extent of their relationship, her personal life was of no business to him. He ran a hand through his hair and took a sip from the beer. “You know, Everly, if you’re thinking of sticking around with the Brotherhood, I think we should keep working together. We uh, make a pretty good team.” 

Mac glared at him again, but didn’t say anything. Vanessa grinned at him and lightly clinked her bottle against his. “Sounds good, robocop.” There was a question that he couldn’t stop himself from asking, however, and in his head he rationalised that it was related to the Brotherhood, so he was within his right to ask. “What was the nature of your relationship with Roger Maxson?” Vanessa choked on her beer, slamming it down on the table harder than she had meant to, bringing her hand to her mouth. “Ah jeez…” “Bleedin’ hell Danse that’s a bloody heavy question. Ahem…” Her cheeks heated up and she shook her head. “Hm, Roger and I were good friends. Nothing… Nothing more.” She shuffled uncomfortably and peered into the bottle in her hands, visibly distressed by it being empty. Mac quietly pushed his half bottle across to her, and the corners of her mouth twitched.

“Roger and I were,  _ close _ . But then my career took off, and he joined the military and things got complicated. Roger was a complicated man. He wanted the world, but could never choose which thing to focus on first. He didn’t know how to balance work, and life, and people, and he thought he was the dog’s bollocks but, he was a good man. I think he tried his best. You know, he even wanted me to join the military with him.” “Why didn’t you?” Vanessa burst out laughing, and both the men looked at her with confused expressions on their faces. “Ah, you weren’t, you weren’t joking. Well not only do I feel I’ve proved how poor I am at dealing with authority, but although women were  _ allowed _ to be in the military, it was frowned upon,  _ especially  _ when it came to women of my standing.” 

Mac and Danse exchanged confused glances. “Aaaaand, I was worse with a gun then, than I am now.” Danse laughed, startling the other two. “Soldier we should definitely get you melee training. I’ve seen the Squire’s shoot straighter than you.” “Hey! I’m working on it! ...Melee training? Like the boards the muties use or the dirty knives raiders use? Oh and I am not using a baseball bat, the Diamond City guards are twats for using those.” He shook his head and raised his eyebrows. “You’re not strong enough for anything like a super sledge. But we could get you a sword.” 

Vanessa perked up significantly, if she were a dog her tail would wag. “Wait really? I don’t need training. I learnt all that when I was younger.” “Whoa-ho, how old  _ are _ you!? I thought you said you were over two hundred, not over two thousand! I can’t believe you were alive before guns!” “MacCready I was not!” “You know how to use a sword?” “Yeah, I took fencing classes when I was a child, then started them again for a movie role in my teens. Only stopped when I had Shaun…” She trailed off and cleared her throat. “Well I think we need to get you a sword. Let’s go see what Teagan has in store.” “Wait really!? Hell yes!” 

Mac was startled that they were already off, and with a groan he tugged his rifle off the table and jogged after them. Vanessa was babbling like she often did and Danse was talking to the man in the cage. He made a comment about biting Ness earlier and she’d already decided she didn’t like him, she was standing a safe distance away. He watched as her face lit up when Danse handed her the sword, Mac realised she didn’t smile quite like that particularly often, especially when it was just the two of them, and it made him sad? It was complicated. 

“Oh my gosh! This is a revolutionary sword! This is sick!” Her whole posture changed immediately, she brought it swiftly through the air and was grinning brightly. “Oh my God, literally anyone who runs at me is fucked. You watch out MacCready!” “I think Hancock needs to watch out.” “Oh fuck yeah, watch him try and tell people we slept together now!” Danse leant against the wall and smiled, she noticed quickly, and opened her mouth to say something about it, but he jumped in immediately with a frown. “Your stance is sloppy and you could use some practise but you’re doing okay.” Her shoulders dropped lightly, but she grinned and pointed the sword at Danse. “Come on then big boy, think you could do better?” “No, Everly, I am not going to give in to this.” She gently poked him with the tip of the sword. “Soldier. No. I don’t use melee weapons. I am trained in hand-to-hand, and with guns.” “Yeah Nessie, maybe you should punch him. Or better yet, shoot him.” 

She spun on her heels, pointing the sword at Mac, taking a few steps towards him. He grinned and shot his hands in the air. He continued to back up as she walked closer, and Danse ended up having to pull her away by the collar when a scribe walked in and looked very flustered. “Alright, that’s enough, Everly.” Vanessa was elated to find that her sword perfectly fit into a rung on her belt. “Oh I am going to learn to mod weapons just to make this sword more badass.” “Cause that went well the last time.” “Mac I swear to God.” “Okay, well, I will show you to your bunk. There’s a spare bed next to it that can be used for any companions you bring aboard the ship. Well, for now at least.” “Well it looks like we’re not going to have to snuggle up.” She winked at the merc, and followed Danse. Mac found himself unsure of whether it was the regular joky flirting that they often exchanged in, or if sp of the things she said meant more. Mac did not like women that confused him. It meant he wasn’t sure where he stood with her. 

“Danse I need to go into the Glowing Sea.” “What? Out of the question.” “I have a lead on my  _ son  _ Danse. And a lead on the Institute.” Danse had just turned to return to his room, when she’d blurted that one out. “I came to the Brotherhood because I needed the Power Armor to survive out there.” The paladin sighed, if he allowed her to go, and she died… He wasn’t sure he’d be able to live with yet another failure. “I will speak to Elder Maxson, I’m sure he will be willing to meet with you tomorrow about it. But I am making no promises, soldier, and if he says no that is final. Now, you both should get some rest.” And with that the Paladin walked off, Vanessa’s hands were tangled in her hair, she was braiding it. Mac had never seen anyone do it before. He laid back on the bunk, it was somehow more uncomfortable than the couch back in the Rail. 

He had to ask her. She’d helped him get rid of Winlock and Barnes without even a second thought when he’d first started travelling with her and Valentine.  _ And _ she was a mother, who needed help finding her son. If anyone could understand his position it was her. He made it his personal quest to ask her for help the next day, if she said no he didn’t know what he’d do. He just hoped she’d say yes. 


	7. Unrequited Love

Vanessa was  _ furious.  _ The Elder was barely more than a teenager yet here he was, standing in front of her telling her what to do with her life. She rested her hand on her hip, looking Maxson up and down. “Excuse me?” “I said no. Knight Everly, tell me something, how long have you been in the Wasteland?” Glaring at him, she shuffled on her feet, before raising her Pip-Boy, and inspecting the date on the screen. “A month, two months or so. Why?” “Your body is not adjusted to radiation the way ours are, Knight. Even with Power Armor it could kill you, or cause irreparable damage. I will not be responsible for that.” 

“I can take care of myself,  _ Elder. _ I’ve been doing just fine so far, and I’m like 200 years older than you!” “Alright, Everly that’s enough-“ “Knight! I am your superior officer, and I will certainly not see you die out in the most irradiated hellhole in the Commonwealth!” Maxson relaxed his grip on the bar in front of him, and sighed, turning to look at the shaking woman in front of him. “Vanessa. Your body needs time to adjust to the radiation we have in high doses here in the Commonwealth. I will schedule you in with Cade in a few weeks for a medical exam. Then we will discuss this again.” The vaultie was seething, but her shoulders dropped, and she unclenched her fists. “Ad Victoriam,  _ Elder. _ ” She spat before walking straight through the bulkhead and out of the ship. 

Danse watched as her merc companion looked at him and the Elder, before shrugging and following her. “Elder Maxson I apologise for her behaviour.” “Danse it is not your fault. However I worry she won’t do well in our ranks. It doesn’t seem she copes well with-“ “Being told what to do? No. She doesn’t. If I had known she was this difficult, I wouldn’t have bothered recruiting her. I’m sorry Elder Maxson, I-“ “Elder Maxson, Paladin Danse. Captain Kells said I should inform you that Knight Everly and her companion have left the Prydwen on a Vertibird.”

The Scribe hovered awkwardly in the doorway, fiddling with the hem of his jacket. Danse groaned and pressed his face into one of his hands. “Did she take a suit of power armor with her?” The scribe shook his head, before saluting, and taking his leave. “Well at least we know she won’t be heading out to the Glowing Sea. She’ll be back Danse, she can deny it all she wishes, but she needs the Brotherhood. No other faction in the Commonwealth has the resources for her to safely travel out there.” 

“Ness, you’re the boss, and that’s cool, but are you sure this was a good idea?” The pair were sitting in the back of a Vertibird, he had an arm loosely around her shoulders. She’d been sick not long after she’d yelled at the pilot to drop them off somewhere inside the city ruins and they’d taken off from the ship. “I didn’t  _ think, _ Mac. I just acted.” “I figured. You don’t tend to think before you do things.” Vanessa crossed and uncrossed her legs a few times. Something was up. “Tell me what it is, Ness.” “We need… to maybe part ways for a while, Mac.” Wow. That was unexpected. 

This was his last chance, he had to ask her. It was now or never. “I have a son!” The woman in his arms flinched and pulled away, looking up at him with an unreadable expression. 

“Oh my God! Mac! Even more reason to split up! I’ve been keeping you from your son! For Christ’s sake…I’m so sorry.” “No! Vanessa hold on! My son, Duncan, he’s sick. I didn’t want to ask, I know you’ve got lots of stuff going on but now you’re going somewhere and I don’t know who to ask and-!” One of her hands clapped over his mouth, her eyebrows were raised and her expression was that of a startled radstag. It would’ve been amusing, if not for the context. “Of course. Of course I’ll help Mac. You stupid idiot!” She shoved him and he grabbed the bench he was sitting on. “You should’ve asked me straight away!” “Okay! Okay! Geez! I’m sorry? You already helped me before with Winlock and Barnes, I didn’t wanna ask you for more.” “Don’t be an idiot, so just tell me everything. I need details and I will make a plan of action.” 

By the time they were boots down, Vanessa had their plan set, which was little more than “smash and grab”, but it was more planned than what she usually did. “Med-Tek… It’s a short hike to the North.” She was still wearing her flight suit, she plucked at it, and huffed. There was no time to change, but orange  _ really _ was not her colour. 

During the journey, with aching feet, Vanessa decided the evening would be dedicated to treating herself. Mac had said they needed to get the cure to Daisy in Goodneighbour, so a night in the Rail was sounding like exactly what she needed.

Mac stared up at the building looming before the pair. Vanessa was reloading her two guns, her sword still resting on her hip. “Thank you,  _ again _ , Ness. If Duncan doesn’t get this cure he’ll…” He felt her small hand wrap around his, and she squeezed gently. “Mac.” “RJ. My name is RJ… Well it’s Robert Joseph MacCready but uh-” “RJ. We’ll get the cure, don't you worry.” She held out a pinkie finger, and he simply blinked at her, so she swiftly linked their fingers with a grin. “Pinkie promise~ I’ve never broken a pinkie promise.” She released both his hands and pushed open the doors to the building. “We need to find the Executive Terminal. I’ve got the password, you get us to it and then we can shut down the lockdown. This place is  _ crawling  _ with ferals though.” With a grin the vaultie pulled her sword from her belt, and waved it around to prove a point without words. It served its purpose because for the first time in a few hours, Mac smiled at her. And it felt genuine. 

They moved through the building as quickly and quietly as possible, they hadn’t had time to stock up on more ammo and therefore they had to be sparing. Meaning Vanessa kept her hands completely off her guns, her aim sucked, as Mac kept reminding her. She took the lead, despite the fact she had no idea where she was going, but she had the sword. Her blade cleaved through the ghouls the minute they got within her reach. The front of her uniform was sprayed with blood. 

Once they reached the terminal she was shaking like a mole rat on psycho, Mac gently rubbed her back and pulled the terminal passcode from his top pocket and handed it to her. “Sinclair’s code better work or we’re screwed.” “Why don’t you just do it?” “You read better than me.” “Excellent point, my illiterate friend.” The merc grumbled under his breath and she slid into the old office chair, manicured fingertips typing wildly at the keyboard. The sound was annoying but it was damn impressive. “Thank God that worked.” 

“Lockdown lifted. Let’s get down to the labs.” Her grip on the handle of her sword was tight, this wasn’t just some petty fetch quest, she was holding the life of his child in her hands. The wasteland really was testing her. MacCready could see how stressed she was, and he felt bad for asking her. But if anyone could do it, it was her. She was smart and she was quick and so far she’d never failed anything she’d set out to do. 

Her breath was heavy, she needed a smoke, or a hit of calmex. She’d had two hits of that little painkiller since she’d been thrust into this world, mainly because it was a nightmare to get her hands on. 

Ness was proud of how well she was doing, she wasn’t a crackhead, and her spell caught in the vices of the drug had been one of the lowest points of her life. But in this moment, all she could focus on was the sound of the syringe clinking against the pistol and the bottle of vodka in her pack. One dose. It was all Hancock had when he clumsily hit on her in the Rail. Evidently it wasn’t a chem that was as popular as jet or mentats. Neither of those were of any interest to the pre-war woman. 

She’d taken psycho a few times in combat, now  _ that  _ was a rush. Hancock had tried to get her to try Overdrive, said it was like Psycho on buffout, but made psychobuff look like jet. She probably would’ve done too, but sharing dirty needles with a ghoul wasn’t at the top of her bucket list. Speaking of Ghouls…

“Jesus Christ…” Mac’s voice cracked, and he wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. “That’s a lot of ferals.” The two were crouched low to the ground, and they were quiet, so they hadn’t been spotted yet. “Ness, you know I told you about my wife, Lucy?” The vaultie nodded, sinking down to the ground to sit, and he followed her movements. “She was… We were… Fuck.” Her hand gently wrapped around his. “We made the mistake one night of holing up in an old metro tunnel. We didn’t know the place was infested with ferals I-...” “It’s alright.” He was trembling. Vanessa straightened her back and loosely rested her arm around his shoulders. Given the context she felt more awkward doing so than normal, but she didn’t know what else to do. She pulled the younger man into her chest, and pulled off his hat, gently running one of her hands through his hair. It was the same thing she used to do for Nathaniel when he awoke in hysterics during the night. 

“Ness they were on her before I could even fire a shot! Ripped… Ripped her apart right in front of me! T-There was nothing I could do. It took everything I had to escape with Duncan in my arms, maybe it would’ve been better if we’d died there with her…” Her hand tensed in his hair, and she had to squeeze her eyes shut before they welled up. “No, what you did was brave, Robert. That’s not a way anyone should die.” “I suppose you’re right. Damn, I miss Lucy. No matter what she was always there as a shoulder to lean on. It gave me… well, it gave me the courage I needed to press ahead… to never give up.” Vanessa returned to softly massaging his temples, she could feel him sobbing against her chest plate. 

“When she died, I thought that feeling was gone forever… Then I met you. You have the world’s problems on your back, and here you are helping me with mine… lending me your shoulder like Lucy did. I just, I just want you to know how much you mean to me.” She gently pressed her lips to his forehead, listening to his strangled dry sobs. “It’s alright, RJ. It’s alright. I know, and I’m here.” Mac was embarrassed at how he was in her arms being rocked like a child, but there wasn’t much room for it, he was already in tears before she’d pulled him close. Her lips brushed his temples as he slowly managed to get control of himself again. “Sh...oot, Vanessa I’m sorry, this was weird. Let’s go uh, let’s go kick some zombie butt.” She chuckled against his ear, and pulled away, letting him out of her arms. He stood up, and held out a hand to help her up. It took them longer than normal to release each other, before Vanessa took out her sword. 

She was getting torn apart by the ferals, the sleeves of her brotherhood jumpsuit were shredded and yet she didn’t stop. Mac was doing his best but ghouls were surprisingly quick, his rifle was slow. Her sword cleaved through their limbs like a hot knife through butter. She noticed he was struggling, so she pulled her laser rifle from her side and tossed it to him. It wasn’t a weapon he’d choose, but it fired quicker, and it was keeping her from getting eaten alive. 

“I can’t believe doctors would just test on their patients like this.” They picked through the bodies, Vanessa walking on her tiptoes. Mac opened a can of water and drank half of it before holding it out to her. She sipped at it, it was amusing how she still stuck her pinkie finger out, even though it wasn’t a fancy glass of wine. 

Vanessa stuck her head through an old window and looked around. “Down there. That’s a fancy old lab thingie! It’s got to be in there.” He followed her gaze, and raised his brows. “Yeah. You’re right. Oh God, we’re so close…” She grinned and wrapped both her arms around his waist, looking up at him. “Let’s get you that Prevent.” He looked down at her and grinned, and hugged her back with one arm. “Vanessa I really can’t thank you enough. Seriously I-“ She pecked him on the cheek and gently shoved him, before skipping off. “Don’t get soppy on me again!” 

The clicking on her Pip-Boy got louder, and she was grateful she had some of the water left, popping a Rad-X. Mac refused when he offered her one, he never got sick like she did, it probably  _ was _ a good thing she wasn’t heading out to the Glowing Sea anytime soon. When the clicking didn’t cease, Mac began to worry, Vanessa was being unsurprisingly chilled about the whole thing. It was actually unlike her to be worried enough to  _ take  _ the Rad-X. When they were travelling with Nick he’d constantly bugged her to take the pills the moment the thing on her wrist started going off.

He moved off around the outskirts of the room to scout out what was creating the radiation, there were some old barrels, but besides that, it wasn’t clear. Until he heard her cries. And then the echoed roaring of a feral. But not just any feral. Ness kicked her legs wildly as the glowing green creature had pinned her to the ground, trying to sink it’s disgusting irradiated jaws into her throat. Her forearm was pressed against its chest, desperately trying to hold it back. She let out a squeal, and moved her other hand to hold her wrist. “MacCready! Robert, please!” 

The merc sprinted across the lab floor to find her, thrashing and squealing. He pulled a bullet from the band of his cap and loaded it into his rifle. It ripped through the ghoul’s head and it pretty much exploded, all sorts of irradiated gunk covering her face. She let out a heavy, dry sob, and shoved its remains off her chest, crawling backwards away from it across the floor. He watched as she bumped into his shins, and reached down to put a hand on her head. “Fuck me that was a good shot.” Is what she said breathily, before she broke into laughter. He couldn’t lie to himself, it was a little unsettling. She’d behaved like this similarly before. When he first got hired by her, he’d joined her and Nick on a mission to clear out some raiders. One had charged at her with a knife. She’d managed to get it out of his hand, and had gone crazy stabbing him repeatedly over and over. Nick had wrapped his arms under hers to yank her off of what remained. He’d almost given her caps back after that evening. But he was glad now that he didn’t. 

“Calm down.” He said gently against her ear, squeezing her shoulders between his fingertips. “You’re okay.” She wiggled out of his grasp, and pushed herself to her feet, before grabbing his hand and yanking him into the now unlocked lab. She picked up something from the table and pressed it into his palm, looking up at him and smiling. Her face was flushed and covered in God knows what. He looked down at the needle in his hand, the cure for his son, he finally had it. He sighed gently and pressed one hand to his face, all of his struggling, all of his hard work and he’d finally done it. 

The next thing Robert did was unexpected by the both of them, he scooped her up in his arms and held her. When he put her back down, the silence in the room was deafening, Vanessa swore she could hear her own heartbeat. 

“I’m sorry?” “Let’s just get out of here and get that cure to Daisy huh?” “I’ll buy you a drink at the Rail?” She gently reached up and brushed her thumb along his cheekbone. “You can buy me as many drinks as you want, kid.” He furrowed his brow at the name, and she bumped her hip against his. Mac kept his eyes trained on her as she leant down to pick up her sword, which had slid along the floor when she’d been knocked down. She winked at him over her shoulder, and the two made their way back through the building, taking down a couple of stray ferals on the way. 

Neither of them were this quiet when travelling together, ever. It was almost uncomfortable. Yet neither knew what to say. Both felt they had overstepped a boundary, although neither would accept that. There were no crude jokes, no teasing, it was like they were back to square one. Except this time without Nick to break the tension. Seemed like they really were going to part ways.

It didn’t take too long to get to Goodneighbour, the only threats they encountered along the way were a super mutant and it’s two dogs. They decided not to bother them, no reason to waste the ammo. 

The sun was setting as they reached the gate, Vanessa looked at the splattering of colours across the skyline behind all the buildings, grateful she was alive to see the sun set, one more time. Mac awkwardly patted her shoulder and opened his mouth to say something, when he was unable to form the words he didn’t know how to say, his arm dropped to his side, and he frowned. Vanessa smiled sadly, and turned away, making her way into the town. It hadn’t rained in a few days. Finn’s bloodstain was still there.

“MacCready! Was wondering when I’d see your face again.” “Ah, Daisy you’re the cutest woman around, you know I couldn’t stay away from you for long.” “Bah, you’re a liar MacCready but I’ll pretend I don’t know that. What can I do for you both?” He sucked in a breath through his teeth, and looked down at the Vaultie next to him. “We found it, Daisy. Duncan’s cure.” “Oh thank God,” she breathed, “I will get it on the next safest Caravan heading out of the Commonwealth. And  _ you! _ ” She clapped Vanessa on the back, probably a bit harder than she meant to as the vaultie staggered. “I knew you were a good one the moment you stepped through the gates, ‘course I thought ol’ Finn was gonna get ya, but now I’m damn glad he didn’t.” 

Mac’s breath hitched in his throat, and he felt Ness gently squeeze his hand. This was it. He’d saved his son. All the struggling and fighting, the things he’d had to do for some caps, to stay  _ alive _ . It had all been worth it. “Thank you Daisy. You’re the best.” “Once he’s feeling better, I’ll have him brought back here for you. No charge. Seems you’ve made a life for yourself out here, MacCready. Besides, the Commonwealth is way nicer than the Capital.” “Thank you. Thank you both of you, so much, I… I don’t really know what to say.” “Then don’t say anything pumpkin, let’s go get that drink.” 


	8. Charmer

Vanessa had been adamant she needed to get changed, it was unclear whether it was because she hated her jumpsuit, or if it was because it was a Brotherhood uniform and she was in a town vastly populated by ghouls. Either way, Mac was leaning against the wall outside her room in the Rail, it was the same one she’d stayed in before, she’d charmed Clair into giving her the best room when she rolled through town. 

He hadn’t expected her to step out of the door wearing a tight black dress with one sleeve. He rarely saw women dressed like that, Magnolia was the only one he could name and she was always too much to look at for too long, like a mini-nuke explosion. Cool but overwhelming. “Wow Ness, you look uh, cool.” She shrugged and grinned, taking his hat and slapping it on her head. “I needed an accessory.” “Well you look better without it but I’m not a pre-war socialite, so what do I know.” She gently punched him on the arm, and pulled the front of her dress, to tuck her pouch of caps down her chest. A smile spread across her face when she realised the merc was doing everything he could to keep his eyes off her. 

“Come on, Robbie. You owe me a drink.” The two walked side by side to the old bar, Ham waved a hand at them when Vanessa tried to make conversation with the old ghoul. He did however tip his hat to her. She was making progress. “MacCready! ‘Ere to settle your tab?” “Actually no! The opposite! Can I get a beer and a… Pink wine…” “Rosé.” “Rosay!” If the robot bartender could facepalm, he probably would’ve. Vanessa did it for him. Mac leaned against the bar and grinned at her, sliding her the glass of wine. “You look good in my hat.” “I know. But you look better.” She passed it to him in exchange for the glass of wine in his hand, and he set it back atop his head. 

The two chatted away for about an hour, Vanessa had started paying for the drinks after Whitechapel Charlie had started to use very colourful language when Mac said “put it on my tab” for the third time. He had no intention of paying it. The music that was playing stopped, and Magnolia came out onto the stage. They cranked up the volume whenever she started performing, Hancock said it worked wonders for drawing in customers. Vanessa presumed that was because it was so damn loud people couldn’t sleep, there was not much else to do in the sleazy little town. It was clear on her face that she was getting a little stressed from the noise, her eyebrows were laced together and her lips were poutier than normal. Mac knew she often got bothered by excessive noise, so he placed a hand on her back and leaned in close. She could smell the bourbon on his breath. “I need a cigarette. You wanna come out with me?” She nodded eagerly and he helped usher her out through the crowd.

Vanessa still had a glass in one hand, so once they got outside, he took one of the cigarettes from his pack and slowly slipped it between her lips. She kept her eyes on him as he reached up to light it for her. His hands were shaking. She assumed it was the alcohol. He backed up against the wall next to her and lit his own, sighing softly. He bumped against her gently, and some of her wine sloshed out of her glass. 

“So, this the end? Of us?” “Us?” “Y’know, Ness and MacCready, patrolling the Commonwealth, kicking the, uh, life out of raiders, annoying major military factions, getting drunk.” She laughed and rested her head against his side. “Not forever.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and smiled, taking a deep drag from his cigarette. “You know, there’s a house for you at Sanctuary, if you want it.” He jerked his head to look down at her, she looked serious. “Really?” “Well yeah, it’s a good place to… Settle down, raise a child. It’s safe, and close to Diamond City for the school. Duncan would flourish. And I could visit and…” He flicked his cigarette to the ground, stubbing it out with the toe of his boot. “Oh yeah?” The corners of her mouth twitched, and curled into a smile, she took one more hit of her cigarette, blowing out a slow, dark cloud of smoke, before stubbing it out on the wall behind her. Vanessa turned to Mac, resting her left side against the wall.

“Yeah…” Her breath caught in her throat as he met her eyes, and she could feel her heartbeat all of a sudden. This was all too much, but he didn’t falter. He leant over, holding her chin with his thumb and forefinger, and pressed his lips against hers. Her glass tumbled from her hand and shattered on the wet brick floor. She was ashamed for how long she let the kiss last, but when he felt her hands flat against his chest, he knew what she meant. Mac pulled away and his eyebrows dragged down, he was lost for words, so was she, for one of the first times in her life. “See you around Sanctuary someday, Vanessa.” He choked out, before he turned on his heel, and walked away. The vault dweller was left on the street, not entirely sure of what had just happened. Her one thought was she needed another drink. The glass on the floor crunching under her heels as she made her way back into the bar alone. 

Magnolia was fluttering around the patrons, so it was quiet enough for Ness to return to her seat at the bar. “Mila? What are you doing- Oh.” Vanessa glared at the ghoul to her left. “Sorry, you’re not who I thought you were.” “No no, hang on a sec, what did you call me?” The ghoul wafted a hand in the air, and folded his arms. “However, I’m looking for someone to-“ “Not tonight pal, I’m here to drink.” “You’ll find I’m very per-...” “Not. Tonight. Now… Shoo.” The ghoul muttered something and wandered off, and Vanessa called Charlie over to order a drink. She’d ordered another glass of the cheap wine and was confused when the robot buzzed over with a bottle of something fancy. “No, Charlie, I don’t think I can afford this-“ “Well Ms. Nessa, seems you got a secret admirer, that gent over here bought it for ya.” It was hard to tell where the robot was pointing given he had no hands, or fingers, however, a man wearing a garish pair of sunglasses across the bar grinned, and nodded to her. Brilliant. Now she had a stalker. “Thank you, Charlie.” “No problem Ms. Nessa, however, if you are gonna beat ‘im up, could you at least do it outside the bar please? Fights tend to scare off the other patrons.” She shrugged to the old bot with a smile, picking up her new glass and the bottle, before moving to slide onto the couch beside the stranger. 

He turned his head vaguely in her direction, shit-eating grin still plastered on his face. “The merc kid skip town and leave you with his bill? Not very gentlemanly if you ask me.” Vanessa relaxed her face into the pretty, “paparazzi face” smile she was so used to from before. “Something like that.” “Sparing me the gory details huh? yawn,” “Did you just say yawn?” “anyways, how’s about I pour you a drink and you tell me about yourself huh, stranger?” Before Vanessa could object, the bottle of wine and her glass were in his hands. “My name is Vanessa, I’m not from around here.” “Well I knew both of those things.” “Excuse me?” “You’re not exactly one to blend into a crowd, Nessa, and you sound like a Mister Handy. Give me something interesting, baby.” 

“My husband was murdered. So I hunted down the bastard who did it, and blew his brains out.” Her mystery man laughed, much to her surprise, and handed her the drink. “Now  _ that’s _ more like it.” He picked up his own drink, which seemed to be a whiskey on the rocks, and held out his glass to hers. “A toast, to you, a very interesting woman. You’re a closed book and I wanna crack you open.” He was charming. It was flustering. Being charming was her thing. She clinked her glass against his, and kept her eyes on those sunglasses as she took a sip. “You seem more closed than I. The least you could do is tell a lady your name.” She settled a hand on his knee. He wasn’t going to fawn over her and give her everything, that was clear to both of them. “John.” “Just John?” “John D. Johnny D. John Doe. John Machine. Call me whatever you like, baby.” He was now looking at her. Despite the glasses, she could tell. Things like that were her secret talent. 

_ John Doe  _ sounded like a blatantly fake name, but Vanessa wasn’t entirely sure, people rocked around in the wasteland with names like Ack-Ack, and Fahrenheit and Gristle for Christ’s sake. She studied his face closely, narrowing his eyes at him over her drink. “Do you have a brother, or do you also work in Diamond City?” His posture shifted, it was minuscule and happened so quickly it was almost unnoticeable, but she caught it. “That’s a strange question, but no. I live here in Goodneighbour, no brother to speak of. Why? Is there a man up there as handsome as me?” “Nobody is as handsome as you,  _ John. _ ” The drinks kept coming, and Vanessa found he wasn’t insufferable, she actually enjoyed his company. He was funny, and charming, and he knew exactly what to say. 

The two were sitting closer to one another than before, John had his arm resting along the back of the couch, her head was resting against his forearm. One of her hands was still on his leg, tracing slow circles on his knee with a finger. His hair looked soft. She wanted to touch it. Was that the alcohol talking? Regardless, one of her hands slid up his cheek, her fingertips lightly brushed it before his free hand gently wrapped around hers. “Hey charmer~ Not the hair… You can touch whatever you’d like but not my hair.” Her hands moved to his chest, balling up part of his shirt in her palms and pulling him closer. “Is that a  _ promise _ John?” Her brain felt fuzzy. But she needed to get the merc out of her head. He smelt like cigarettes and alcohol. Like him. It was surprisingly comforting. 

He knew he’d taken this too far, he wasn’t quite as intoxicated as her, but he wasn’t thinking straight either. The woman he’d aptly nicknamed charmer was like a hit of psycho. Poison in his veins. He’d pressed her for information, it had all been a ploy to find out whether she would be suitable for his… organisation. But she’d given him a damn good run for his money. And here he was barely managing to keep his shit together. And- oh god, her lips were on his jaw. He gingerly grabbed her chin and pushed her face by slowly. A fire was dancing in her eyes. When he first saw her emerge from the vault, he never anticipated this situation. “You said I could…” “Not here.” He hadn’t expected her to pull her room key from the front of her dress. Well fuck, no going back now. 

He quickly got to his feet, she followed. He pressed a hand to her lower back and ushered her out the bar. It was raining. In a quick movement he had his hands cupping her face, and her back against the wall. “Charmer you’re playing with fire here.” “Let it burn.” She tugged him closer by his shirt, and their lips met. She tasted like wine and fancy lads and cigarette smoke. His hands settled on her waist as she held him against her, she was soft, and so tiny, they really didn’t make women like this anymore. He’d taken chems before. This was a better rush. His leg shifted between her legs, and she let out a gasp, breaking the kiss. He whined and tried to pull her back to him. The sounds of her room key jingling next to his ear brought him back, she was smirking. Her eyes half lidded. 

Hands on her shoulders he moved her into the hotel, she wobbled on her heels and waved her key to Clair at the front desk. “Vanessa, are you drunk again? You and your fancy man better not be sick all over the room, if you do you’re cleaning it up.” 

The minute they got into the room, her back was against the wall again. “You don’t know what you do to me, charmer.” His lips are on her neck, his hands are on the zipper of her dress. He pulls it down and the fabric cascades over her body like waves on the shore at Revere. Her breath is hot and heavy now and her fingers are at the buttons of his shirt. She’s like ecstasy. She’s a drug. A drug he can taste but he can’t get hooked on. His shirt is on the floor and her dress follows suit. She’s standing in her underwear and heels. It’s a black lacy number. God knows where she got it but it’s making him burn. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer~...” He wishes he had a working camera. She slips out of his arms and climbs up onto the bed, looking at him over her shoulder and he realises he’s going to give in. He’s long since gotten the information he needed. But it can’t hurt. 

A slender, manicured hand curls around a jet pump, and she takes a hit, her back arching lightly. He climbs onto the bed between her legs and trails kisses across her stomach. A breathy giggle escapes her lips as she takes another hit. At least that ensures she likely won’t remember this in the morning. Probably for the best. He pulls her flush to him and she giggles again as she slides down the bed, her long blonde curls fanning out around her like a halo. Hands reaching around her back to her bra he unclips it with ease, and tosses it into the floor. Hello! Her body really didn’t show signs of having had a child, besides the splatterings of barely visible stretch marks. He kisses the ones on her hips, and then the ones on her chest. She whines and reaches for his hair, he tenderly wraps his hand around her wrist and presses her arm back against the bed. He does it to the other and she’s squirming on the bed beneath him. 

He lightly bites her nipple, and releases her hands to tug her underwear off. She was panting more than that dog of hers. He runs his fingers along her ribcage, and palms her breasts, kisses training down her body and settling on her thighs. Her hands have moved, and they’re tugging at his jeans. He gives in. She’s successfully charmed the pants off him. He presses his lips to her thighs to stop himself from making that joke out loud. “Fuck… Stop teasing.” Curses don’t sound right in her mouth, but he does enjoy it. He looks up at her and smirks, one of her hands is over her face and her hair has lost its neatness. “Well who am I to deny a lady what she wants?”

He was already hard, unsurprising as how she was driving him completely wild. He faltered for a moment and that was all it took for her to take back control. She’d wiggled out from under him and he now found himself flat against the bed. Her lips trailed lower and lower and his hand shot to her hair before she even got there. “I’m assuming the sunglasses aren’t coming off.” “What and lose my rugged, sexy, mystery?” She rolled her eyes and ran her tongue along his length. He grabbed her hair a little tighter, relishing in the sound she made. He didn’t want to push her head, and actually tried as hard as he could not to, but when she ever so slightly ran her tongue along the head he tensed up and pulled her head down. A whine escaped his lips as she took him in her mouth, her eyes trained on him. She was burning him again. He had to turn his face away. 

“Fffffuck me, charms.” “Gladly.” His cock popped out of her mouth lewdly. She’d left red lipstick marks all over him and he realised he’d gladly get them tattooed on his body forever. He pushed himself up and brought her close for a deep kiss, laying her back down on the bed. Kisses were pressed all along her neck and she wrapped her legs around his waist, keeping him flush against her. He nips at her neck and slides inside of her, the name he gave her tumbles reverently from her lips like a prayer to atom, and he wishes he’d given her his real one. 

He moves tentatively whilst she comes undone in his arms, his rhythm stays steady and it’s enough to have her whimpering. It’s been too long, it may not have been him she’d wanted, but she needed him. They both knew that. He wanted to prove to her that he was all she needed. John picks up the pace and she’s mewling and panting and praising him sweetly. His head flops forward, and he buries his face in the crook of her neck, he’s falling apart in the vice of his personal flavour of psycho. “Holy shit charms, you’re killing me here.” “Then perish…” She moans out breathily, and he silently tells God that in this moment, he would die a happy man. 

He holds her tight as she trembles in his arms, hurriedly murmuring at how she was close, he whispered praises against her ear, coaxing her over her edge. Her back arches, and her skin tingles like static, and she finally gives in, her eyes roll back and he finds himself wishing he could remember this look on her face. “Fuck, yes, that’s it charms, good girl…” He hits his climax as she tenses around him. John rides out the high of his orgasm, and she’s looking up at him with dazed, half lidded steely eyes. The pad of his thumb runs along her lower lip, and he slides a pillow beneath her head, she’s barely awake, the alcohol and chems helping to knock her out. He goes against his better judgement and lays on his side next to her, she wiggles to face him. Silently stroking her hair, he waits for her to be out cold before he makes a decision on whether to leave, but for now he doesn’t, he knew her well enough that she would be sleeping in tomorrow. He had nothing to worry about for now, he’d just enjoy basking in the afterglow. 


	9. Code Names

It isn’t often the pre-war woman wakes up feeling like Brahmin have had a punk rock concert in her head, and this morning, it was far worse than that. “Huh. Empty room. Why is that surprising to me? ...Why am I now talking to myself?” It was obnoxiously bright, her pip-boy screen read that it was nearing midday, that would be why. As she sat up and stretched, her back gave out a satisfying click, and Vanessa realised she was naked. Maybe it wasn’t just a dream, maybe she really  _ had  _ brought a man back to her room last night. She rubbed her chest absent-mindedly, before swinging her legs out of the bed, grateful that she’d been conscious enough to leave out a can of water at least. 

Fumbling in her pack with one hand for some underwear and her vault suit. There was something in one of the pouches. She pulled out her necklace first. It was Nathaniel’s old dog-tag chain, she’d threaded their wedding rings on it. She’d had to stop wearing hers after one two many people had sloppily hit on her saying they could do better than the “lucky man”. That and when she looked at the gold band with the oversized diamond, she was filled with far too many emotions. Mostly rage. She fastened it around her neck, it was cold against her bare skin. It wasn’t the only thing in the pouch though, she knew  _ his  _ holotape was in there too, but she pulled out something wrapped in an old handkerchief. It was a carved toy soldier. Mac’s wife had made it for him. It was one of the first personal stories he told her. It hurt more to look at than the rings, so she wrapped it back up and put it back. 

Getting dressed took longer than normal, mainly because she couldn’t find her bra. She couldn’t work out why she’d thrown it half way across the room and then kicked it under the dresser, but then again, she didn’t know why she’d gotten blackout drunk and had weird sex dreams about a complete stranger. The one thing she did know was that before leaving town she’d need to settle her tab with Whitechapel, she’d seen how he brandished those freaky robot hands at MacCready every time he ordered a new drink. 

It was even brighter outside, and she groaned and jammed her pair of oversized sunglasses on her face, even though it was going to be dark inside the rail. And it was, besides the obnoxious neon lights on every wall. “Whitechapel.” “Well if it ain’t me favourite brit.” “I’m the only brit you know, Charlie.” “I know meself.” She nodded and took a seat at the bar in front of the bot, dropping a pouch of caps on the table. He did indeed know himself. “I have no idea how much I drank last night. Was I with a man?” “Yeah, you and that bloody merc showed up together.” “Ok but who did I leave with?” “Yeah you and him went out for a smoke or something. I don’t know Vanessa, I don’t track your every bloody movement.” 

It was surprising how infuriating that accent was when she hadn’t heard it in so long. She probably would never hear it again besides Charlie, and it made her a little homesick. She wondered if London was still in one piece. Maybe their ghoul dogs were corgis. That would be amusing. “Anyway, these caps are to settle my tab. Like I said, I have no idea how much I drank but this  _ should _ cover it.” “What the ‘ell are you talking about? Some gent cleared your tab this morning.” Vanessa blinked a few times, a clearly puzzled expression on her face. It couldn’t be MacCready. “Wait pause on that. Where is Mac? Is he-...” “He left the rail this morning. Didn’t wanna talk. Had his stuff with him. So I don’t think he’s paying for his tab, but don’t worry, I won’t charge you for it.” 

She shrugged her bag off her shoulder, and tossed the caps in. “So who settled my tab?” “I don’t know, boring lookin’ fella. He did leave you a note tho,” his arms spun round and handed her a scrap of paper “Now don’t ask me any more bloody questions unless it’s asking what I’ve got that’s non-alcoholic for your hangover arse to drink.” She ended up leaving with a few more cans of water and a bottle of Nuka Cola, she wanted quantum, it was a funky little drink she didn’t even know existed, apparently because it was set to release the same day the bombs dropped, but he didn’t have any. She studied the note and then lifted up her pip-boy to check her map. At least she now knew what she was doing today. 

The Freedom Trail was a tourist attraction from before the war, and here Vanessa was, hovering on the outskirts of Swan’s Pond, following a pre-war cash grab to what is apparently little more than a myth. People who actually fight the Institute. She wasn’t including the Brotherhood, they were just “cleansing” the wastes of anything they deemed unacceptable. She scuffed the metal plate on the floor with the toe of her boot, before pulling out her rifle and beginning to follow the trail. She moved quickly and low to the ground, any time she came across a rogue ghoul on the ground, she’d take it out with a sword through the skull. Besides the occasional ghoul, she managed to avoid any threats along the road, except for a dog, which she managed to coax down from attacking her. 

The dog joined her until she reached the church, she pulled a can of cram from her bag and cracked it open, tipping it out for the dog. Vanessa stretched her back and frowned as she read the final clue on the ground. If she’d worked this out correctly then this organisation were idiots. Delicately pushing the door to the old church open, it made more noise than she intended it to, and she heard the groaning of ghouls dragging themselves to their feet. In an instant she’d pulled her sword and held it in front of herself, after getting pinned in Med-Tek she was determined to  _ never _ find herself powerless like that again. One spotted her and charged, she held her sword out defensively, letting the feral ram itself on it. “Sad.” With a kick, she knocked the ghoul down, and pulled out her sword, swinging it just in time to carve through the neck of the second. It hit the ground with the thud, and Vanessa waited with bated breath for any other sounds. None. Perfect. 

However, she stayed as silent as she could when moving around the church, spotting a doorway with a faint glow. That was where she would be heading next. She dashed through the catacombs, but was caught off guard by a ghoul already on its feet. Her sword was lodged in its chest but it kept coming, swiping at her with its decrepit, irradiated hands. With a smooth tug, she got Nathan’s pearled 10mm from her belt, and fired a round into the ghouls head. It went limp, and she squirmed to get her sword free, however the sound didn’t go unnoticed, as a ghoul to her left began to move to his feet. She turned to her side and fired two rounds in it, and her pip-boy stopped registering hostiles. Perfect. 

She jogged down the hallway and was met with some metal rings on the wall, she holstered her weapons, and gave one of them a slight push. “Huh. It spins.” The ring in the centre was a button. “Need to enter some kind of passcode… Hang on.” She spun the ring round to one of the ‘R’s and pressed the button. It gave out a satisfied click. Next she tried the ‘A’. That was right too. “Oh you have to be kidding me, who the hell picks a password the same as the name of their organisation. What a joke.” Putting in the rest of the passcode was simple, and the wall in front of her gave way. It  _ was  _ pretty cool. Even if their choice in password was lacking. She stumbled into a pitch black room, which was pleasant actually, but found herself grateful for the fact her sunglasses were still on her face when floodlights came on suddenly directly in her face.

“Jesus Christ-!” “You went through a lot of trouble to arrange this meeting. But before we go any further you’re going to need to answer my questions. Who the hell are you?” Vanessa bristled with that familiar infuriation in the face of authority. “I’m not saying anything until you put your guns down.” “I’m asking the questions here, so we’ll point our guns where we damn well please.” Her fingers twitched next to Nathaniel’s pistol, but knew the white haired woman would load her body full of minigun ammo before she could even fire a shot. From what she’d heard of the Railroad she knew they had a lot of enemies, she wanted to make sure she was meeting who she was intending to. “You first.” 

The redheaded woman in front of her sighed, “I’m Desdemona, I’m the leader of the Railroad. And you…” Deacon faltered slightly as he entered the room, he hadn’t expected her to actually follow his note at all, let alone mere hours after he’d skipped out on her. He mentally kicked himself for being soft enough to leave the damn note in the first place, but he’d been tailing her for a while, he knew enough. “You’re having a party without me, what gives with my invitation?” Desdemona seemed startled with the presence of the man joining them, and Vanessa’s hand wrapped around her pistol, it was all starting to get suspicious now, and she was feeling particularly jumpy in her still hungover state. “Deacon, where’ve you been? I need intel. Who is this?”  _ Intel?  _ How would this guy know  _ anything  _ about her? 

“Wow, news flash, boss, this lady is kind of a big deal out there. We owe you a truck load of, heh,” he laughed, “ _ Nuka-Cola _ for what you did to Kellogg. He was public enemy number one.” Why did he point out the soft drink like that? Whilst she looked hardly different from the posters, she had yet to be recognised for it, and she  _ certainly  _ hadn’t mentioned it to anyone. (mainly because there was no need to). “So you’re vouching for her?” Why did he seem familiar? In all honesty he was one of the most generic people she’d ever seen so it was likely her brain was just confused. He had a damn nice voice though, Vanessa had always been weak for a nice voice. “Yes, trust me, she’s someone we want on our side.” “That changes things. I don't know what, if anything, you've heard out there about us. So let's start with the basics. You know what a synth is right?” 

She struggled to not roll her eyes at that one. All she’d heard since leaving the vault was synths this, and institute that. “Yes. And I know  _ who  _ you are and what you do.” Desdemona narrowed her eyes at the woman across the catacombs. “How did you-.” “It’s not like everyone in the Commonwealth isn’t whispering about you.” “...Find us?” The vault dweller was caught off guard, if she told the truth someone could get in trouble, or there was the chance they wouldn’t believe it and they’d fill her full of bullets. Deacon watched her closely, what she said now would cause issue if she told the truth, he knew she was charismatic but was she willing to lie? For him? His brain quickly ran through possible scenarios, and he fumbled to come up with a lie that wouldn’t sound like complete bullshit. “I heard people talking about the Freedom trail. So I followed it. It’s the kind of thing I do. Not to mention your clues and that password thing at the door were  _ super  _ easy to work out. Your password being the same as your organisation? I mean it’s just-!” “If we thought you were a threat to us you would’ve been met with an empty room!” Deacon watched as the woman didn’t even flinch, in fact she grinned, clearly amused by the fact she’d struck a nerve. She was like a prettier, english, version of himself and he loved it. She was even wearing sunglasses to boot. 

“Anyway. We don’t have time to train up a new agent. We seek to free the synths from their bondage. Give them a chance at a real life.  I have a question. The only question that matters. Would you risk your life for your fellow man? Even if that fellow man is a synth?” She didn’t even hesitate. “So far I have risked my life for someone almost every day. A lot of which I’d never even met. I didn’t know they were synths, but it didn’t matter to me.” She was good at talking, better than he’d even realised. Desdemona smiled, and nodded. “As good an answer as any. Like I said, we don’t have time to train you up, but there are other ways you can contribute. Speak to Deacon when you’re ready.”

Deacon couldn’t help but approach her first, he was curious, and this whole situation was pretty fucked. She would be a damn good agent, but he had to go and get all soft and take things too far. He had to know if she just had an excellent poker face, or if she genuinely was that drunk she didn’t remember it. Either way he was in trouble. “So, Dez wants to make you a tourist,” he looked her up and down, one of his eyebrows raising slightly, “such a waste…” “Seems like I have a stalker.” There was a playful glint in her eyes. Was it something more? “It’s not like that, a lot of people know about you.” She was grinning. She’d caught him. “So, why’d you vouch for me?”  _ Because I slept with you last night and it would be weird as hell if I told Dez I had nothing on you. Especially since Glory knows I’ve been tailing you.  _ “In our little outfit, it's my job to know things. And with everything you've done it's clear you're capable. A dangerous enemy. And, I'm betting, a valuable ally. I don't know if we can trust you. But I hope we can. We just survived a hell of a crisis. So we may be just a teeny, weeny bit desperate for new members.” He sucked in a breath, the expression on her face was unreadable. “If everything was sunshine and bottle caps, we'd probably play a longer "getting to know you" game. But we don't have that luxury.” She’s got that look in her eye again, she’s either flirting or she’s playing a game because she knows who he is. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep your secret. But, there  _ has  _ to be more to it.” 

Deacon grinned and shrugged. Her ability to press for information was impressive, and a useful tool. “You just don't give up? All right, I have a short list of people I think would be a good fit for our family. You piqued my interest, so maybe I asked around. Did my homework. If you hadn't found us, there's a chance I would've found you, so thanks for saving me the trip.”  _ I did find you. You were not what I was expecting. _ She nodded, and motioned with a hand for him to continue, seemingly satisfied with his answer. “So, a tourist is someone who does odd jobs for us here and there. I’m just gonna come out and say it, the Railroad needs you.”  _ I need you. _ “You’ve piqued  _ my  _ interest.” Deacon nods, watches as she pulls a cigarette from a pouch attached to her belt, she lights it up. It’s such a smooth motion. One she’s done hundreds of times before. She doesn’t even need to look. Her eyes are trained directly on him and her gaze is burning him yet again. His neck feels hot. His palms are clammy and he is determined to not crumble beneath this rookie. “I’ve got a job. Too big for me,  _ perfect  _ for just the two of us. You help me out, we turn a few heads, Dez invites you into the fold.” She’s not fully convinced. He can’t blame her. She shows up to this church based on a note a stranger left her in a bar, and is met with a minigun pointed in her face. “Then if you get into a bind and need help, your buddies in the Railroad got your back.”  _ Just push a little harder, Deacon, and you’ve got her.  _ His voice drops quieter. “Besides, we’re the only ones directly fighting the Institute. And for good cause. If anyone can help you get your son back, it’s us.” 

She flinches, and the smile drops from her face immediately. “How did you know about him?” He shrugs nonchalantly, it doesn’t matter what he says now, she’s in. “As I said before, I asked around about you, did my homework. Pre-war mother who took the Big Nap and is chasing across the Commonwealth to find her son? Anyone who knows of you, knows that.” She relaxes.  _ Mission success, Deacon. You son of a bitch you’ve done it again.  _ “Alright, I’m in.” “Perfecto. Let’s meet up at the old freeway outside Lexington. I’ll fill you in once you get there.” 

  
  


Deacon saw her coming, but acted as if he hadn’t as she neared him. “Deacon?” He turned his face more in her direction, even though his eyes had been trained on her from behind his glasses the minute he’d spotted her. She was nervous. “You like my disguise? I call it “Wastelander Camo.”” His voice dropped an octave lower and he added a growl. “This is my pile of garbage,  _ asshole. _ ” She shivered and shoved him gently. “S-Stop. Stop messing with me.” He grinned at her reaction. “Oooh, you like my Wastelander voice huh ch-anessa?” She elbowed him with a scowl. “It’s  _ VAN _ essa. Let’s just get on with this.” He knew how to push her buttons far too easily. She didn’t notice but he’d almost slipped up. 

“So I’m looking for Railsigns. Symbols we use to send messages to each other.” “Funky.” “If you like that, we got signs and countersigns, dead drops, and even a secret handshake. Alright, maybe the handshake never caught on.” 

Their conversation with the tourist went well, and Vanessa had called Deacon out on his lying before agreeing that crawling through the pipes was probably the best course of action. “This is disgusting.” “Des-gus-tan.” He mimicked, earning a punch in the arm. They were like long time friends, or an old married couple, and as much a Deacon subtly pressed for information as to whether she remembered, but was unsuccessful. She took two gen 1’s out the minute he got the door open and they turned hostile. He explained the discourse surrounding them, and Vanessa asked if he’d be liberating toasters next. “Funny.” “I thought it was.” Their joking ceased as they found themselves navigating tight hallways full of synths and the bodies of the old Railroad members. Deacon wished he could bury them, but knew it wasn’t possible. “Dee, could you get this terminal?,” he shook his head, “what do you mean no? You got the last one!” “Don’t do terminals, sorry boss.” It was pleasing to watch her tap away at the keys, not as much as it was to watch her bend over a lock, but still impressive. 

The minute the gates opened, the synths in the next room noticed them, and Deacon noticed how shoddy her aim with a gun actually was for the first time. Watching her from a distance was one thing, but up close he could see how she clearly had no idea of how to hold that 10mm properly, her arms trembled and if she continued like that she’d eventually injure herself. He filed that away for later and made more of an effort to take out the legs so she could finish them off. “Bye bye gen 1’s.” She kneeled awkwardly on the floor so she could pick through the information on a terminal. “Y’know, you seem familiar. Have we met before?” Vanessa snorted and shot him a glare over her shoulder. “You mean besides the fact you’ve been stalking me?” “I have not!” He could press further, he knew that. Deacon sat on the desk next to the terminal, ignoring the warning creaks it gave out, and lightly kicked her. “No, Deacon, we have never met. Would’ve been nice though, if you’d had the balls to come say hi.” She grabbed his ankle as he went to push her with his foot again, keeping her attention on the screen. She really didn’t remember. 

“Ah! I know where!” He pointed at a Nuka-Cola advertisement on the wall, she glanced up and grinned. “Yeah, maybe.” “Don’t be coy. That’s you.” He knew full well it was her, he’d found the old records, holotapes of her interviews, newspaper articles about her life. “Did you know they made a theme park?” “Deacon of course I did.” He knew that too, he was just trying to make conversation. “Apparently it’s still standing. Last I heard it was a huge trading city, but I don’t know, never made the trip out there.” That caught her, she frowned and turned to face him, an interesting reaction. “Really?” She raised her pip-boy and began fiddling with it. “Yeah, why?” There was something she wasn’t telling him. She shrugged and wandered off up the stairs. He watched as she swiped a covert magazine off the desk and stuffed it into her bag. She stared at the screen of the terminal. Deacon tried not to laugh at the startled, puzzled expression that graced her face. “No.” He couldn’t stop the small chuckle that slipped out this time. “No?” “No.” 

They discovered upon opening the doors, that laser tripwires littered the ground. The terminal was probably for switching those off. “We could try and wiggle through them. Could always still set them off.” She had another idea though. Deacon watched as she crouched low to the ground, and began to fiddle with the boxes projecting the lasers. She was obviously doing something right, as the light flickered before going out. “You really are full of surprises.” He patted her head. She grinned at the praise. She deactivated the rest by hand and the two moved quickly and quietly through the rest of the building. The remaining gen 1’s had stun batons, so they suffered the fate of her sword. 

“So Tommy Whispers didn’t make it out. He died protecting our secrets.” He crouched low to the ground, his gun was still with him. The only person he knew Tommy would’ve given it to was dead. He didn’t want it. “Here. He’d want you to have this, his handcannon. Don’t let it’s size fool you.” He held Deliverer out to her and watched as her fingers rested on the pistol already sitting in her holster. Deacon could’ve punched himself. That gun she already had was clearly important to her, and not just because it was fancy. “Deacon I… I can’t.” He forced a smile and tucked it into his pocket. “I’ll hold onto it until you’re ready. Grab the prototype and we’ll get out of here.” 

“And then the new girl patched me up, and blasted her way out of there.” Vanessa had doubted whether she should actually head back to the church, so she’d taken the long route, needing the time to clear her head. And by clear her head, I mean she butchered a bunch of raiders and ferals until she didn’t want to scream and cry. Deacon noticed the blood up the front of her suit, but had a clean new grey combat armor chest piece on, it matched the other armor pieces she had on. He was glad she’d finally found a replacement for that flimsy leather thing she’d been wearing. “Is any of this true?” Vanessa smiled brightly at Des, and climbed the stairs to stand beside Deacon. “Every word and then some.” Desdemona was taken aback, it wasn’t that she was a better liar, more like she hadn’t blatantly lied to Dez thus far, like Deacon had. The vaultie wasn’t known for lying. Or at least wasn’t known for being caught out for it. “A hundred gen 1’s, I can’t even imagine.” “You’d be insane not to sign her up Dez.” 

Desdemona fell quiet for a moment, clearly in thought as she looked the other woman up and down. “I was expecting Deacon to grab a whole team, including Glory to get that prototype, but you two did it all yourselves. In less than a day. You’ve certainly made an impression on Deacon, he’s never spoken about,  _ or lied about,  _ anyone so highly before.” Deacon grinned and leaned against the wall, his sunglasses glinting in the dim light. “You’d be  _ insane  _ not to sign her up, Dez.” Deadening flicked her cigarette, stubbing it out with the toe of her boot. “If you’re having any doubts, don’t. Not many of us live to retirement.” A smile tugged at her cheeks, and after running a hand through her curls, Vanessa sighed. “I don’t think I will anyway. Sign me up.” Deacon grinned again and lightly punched her on the arm. “It seems we’re lucky to have you. So you’re in. Now we need to know what to call you. Secrecy keeps us alive. Code names are a part of that. So what’s yours?” 

Vanessa’s eyes glinted with mischief, and she glanced at Deacon out of the corner of her eyes, before her gaze flicked back to Desdemona. “Call me Charmer.” 

“Heh. Fitting.” 


	10. Sweet Victory

“Deacon, Charmer, it’s good to see you both safe. When you hadn’t touched base in a while some of us were a little worried.” Deacon waved a hand and took a seat on one of the old office chairs, spinning on it slightly, Vanessa hopped up on the table next to him, fumbling with her pip-boy. “Yeah we got held up when we were setting up some of the MILA’s. Some settlers whining “we’ve got raiders round the corner please help!” and we’re off gallivanting halfway around the Commonwealth.” Deacon snickered and Dez frowned lightly, she was never particularly bothered about spending time helping out the human settlers of the ‘Wealth, but she understood Charmer still had ties to Minutemen. She thought at least. 

In actuality Vanessa was becoming increasingly infuriated with the Minutemen and the whiny settlers they supposedly protected. She was doing  _ everything.  _ And the most they’d given her in return thus far was a flare gun, which she’d only gotten after her and Deacon had virtually single-handedly cleared out the Castle for Preston. She’d thrown it at a wall in the General’s quarters and Deacon had taken her off to find some Fancy Lads. 

Speaking of Deacon, he still had no idea of whether she truly remembered their evening together, and for the first few days of them running missions together, he’d almost choked up every time he’d had to use her codename. They were getting on well, however, and she finally trusted him enough to sleep around him. Which he found amusing given their first interaction. She was now smashing her Pip-Boy against the desk, he knew she’d been having some trouble with the radio stations bugging out, this however was an amusing development. “Well when you’re ready to head out, Carrington has an important job for you two to head out on.” Deacon sat with his chin on his hands, looking up at the woman sat on his desk who was angrily prying the old tech off her arm. “Charms.” He purred out, grinning as she shivered and glared down at him. She liked it when he used the codename, and he knew that. He also knew why. 

“Deacon.” She spat out, dropping the Pip-Boy onto the desk. It started playing annoying music again and she went to hurl it across the room. He slid one hand up her arm and wrapped his fingers around her wrist. Goosebumps puckered up across her skin beneath her sleeves, and she was grateful he couldn’t see them, knowing full well that he’d tease her about it for hours. “What’s the matter?” She whined pitifully. “It’s taunting me.” He tried not to laugh, taking the Pip-Boy from her in his free hand, the screen said it was tuned into “Nuka-Cola Family Radio”, the Pip-Boy specified it was coming from a location far out West. “It showed up a few weeks ago but now it just keeps tuning itself in and it is  _ infuriating. _ ” She looked like she was about to cry, or scream and break something. Deacon wasn’t looking forward to either. She’d cried twice since they’d started to travel together and both times it had made his chest ache. And the last time she’d gotten really mad (he’d stopped her from paying some kids to throw Mirelurk eggs at the Castle), she’d punched a wall and then proceeded to cry about the pain. 

He’d taken her over to Tinker Tom, she was keeping a safe distance, he’d noticed she’d been doing it ever since she’d agreed to get his shot. To be fair, she had thrown up blood in the Catacombs for about an hour until he managed to convince her to let Carrington have a look at her. Deacon admired that she always indulged Tom’s whimsy, but certainly didn’t blame her for keeping back. Tom had said he’d look at her Pip-Boy, Deacon had made him promise to not install anything or tweak its programs in any way. 

Vanessa had been frustrated when Tom’s advice had been “find the source! Shut the signal down man”. She didn’t want to go back, she’d spent weeks there before the war, and had to cover for them at press conferences when someone got injured in the damn place. 

It  _ was _ a magical place though. 

She was so frustrated in fact, that her eyes welled up, and Deacon immediately panicked that she would start crying. He took the Pip-Boy back sharply and led her out into the catacombs, knowing she’d be embarrassed as all hell if people saw her crumble. Saying Deacon was beginning to worry about her was an understatement. The first few days they’d been travelling together she’d been sick a few times, which he’d put down to nerves, or her body still getting used to wasteland food (or more specifically, his cooking). But now she was getting “wackass” mood swings and he was worried. Maybe she was on chems. Maybe she was a secret alcoholic- No. She wasn’t a secret alcoholic. He  _ knew  _ she was a drinker. It was more likely how many cigarettes she smoked a day, even if that was nothing compared to Dez or virtually anyone else he knew. He wasn’t going to confront her about it, though, that just wasn’t his style. He’d watch for development. 

  
  


Vanessa and Deacon were clearing out a particularly big group of raiders to help Stockton move his “package”. Although there were a lot of them, they were only using pipe pistols and switchblades, meaning Vanessa could easily take them down with her sword. Deacon was still sticking to his original plan of aiming for legs, then at least they couldn’t sneak up on or charge at his Charmer. The last one went down when she kicked him hard in the shins, holding her sword above her head, and then plunging it into his stomach. It worried him, but she looked damn cool doing it. “Charms we’ve had reports of gen 1’s not too far from here if you wanna go clear them out. Stockton will be back here in a few hours so it’ll keep us busy.” She crouched down, cleaning both sides of her sword by wiping them on the raider’s leg. Her face relaxed a little when she looked at him, and she nodded. He knew she liked to keep herself busy. Too long with nothing to do she’d start drinking. 

The gen 1’s had been lurking in an area far too close to Bunker Hill, and Stockton’s work, for comfort. They hadn’t been sent out to clear them, but it would get rid of a possible threat. “Hello?” A robotic voice called out, Vanessa peaked through the bushes. There were only 2, it would be easy for Vanessa to sneak up on them to the left, and Deacon could startle them from the front if he headed to the right. She motioned with her fingers for him to go that way, and Deacon nodded, darting off round the corner. Vanessa scampered in the other direction, “stealth capabilities, fascinating” they were both facing  Deacon, and she saw as he poked out and shot at them, taking one out. She crept towards the second, ready to impale it before-. “Charmer!” The synth in front of her swung round and pointed it’s pistol at her, before another grabbed her from behind. Neither of them had noticed the third synth, and now it had its horrible hands on her, and her struggling was fruitless, it sunk its claws into her face the more she thrashed around. The first synth reloaded his pistol but Deacon swiftly fired a laser shot into its head, and it disintegrated, before he vaulted over the fence to help her with the second. Charmer lashed out and kicked it in the knee a few times, Synths didn’t feel pain but it was enough to bug out its leg actuator for enough time for her to get free, grab her sword and swing it straight through its side. 

Deacon gently placed a hand on her shoulder. She was breathing heavily. She pressed a hand to her face and laughed. He gently squeezed her shoulder, spinning her to face him. He gripped her chin with his forefinger and his thumb, and tilted her head up to face him, the synth had caught her lip in her struggle, and it was bleeding. “Let’s get you back to the church, Charms, and I’ll take a look at that scratch.” He steered her through the streets back to the church, and sat her down on one of the pews, crouched in front of her. The blood had run down her chin and neck, he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and poured some water on it. Her nose wrinkled at the sight. “Deacon is that clean?” “Clean enough, Charms.” She lightly grumbled and he held her face in his hand, cleaning off the blood. From this close he saw something he’d never seen before, a scar ran through the top of her lip, and now she had one through the bottom lip, or at least she would soon. “It’s gonna scar, Charms. I can give you a stimpak if you-...” She rapidly shook her head, just like he knew she would. Her eyes locked on his face as he lightly swept the pad of his thumb along her bottom lip, before running the side of said thumb along the length of the scars. She shuddered and squeezed her thighs together, gently wrapping her fingers around his wrist. “So… How’d you get this one?” His voice was lower, he moved his gaze from her lips to her eyes. 

“My husband. Nathaniel.” Deacon hadn’t realised he had a hand on her leg until she let out a whimper. He was squeezing. He relaxed his grip but didn’t move his hand. “He uh, always had  _ issues.  _ And I was not the best person to be around.” He knew where this was going and he was already feeling the anger bubble inside him. “Once he came back from Anchorage he… He wasn’t doing well. In his head. One night he woke up from a nightmare, I found him in the kitchen drinking, I tried to get him to come back to bed. He kept telling me to get away and stop touching him and I didn’t listen and he…” She sharply sucked in a breath and he realised he was squeezing her leg again, but that wasn’t why. He stood up, ignoring how his knees cracked and pulled her close, letting her press her face into his stomach. She wasn’t crying. He felt her ball up his shirt and his breath hitched in his throat. She smelt just like she had the first time, cigarettes, snack cakes and something floral. She slipped her hands under his shirt, it was innocent, meant to simply pull him close, but it still made his heart flutter. Deacon’s hands settled on her head, and he tried to keep his breath steady. 

The sun was setting, the remaining light inside the church was golden, and it lit up her hair perfectly. Like a halo. He sat down beside her, pulling a box of “Fancy Lads ~ Snack Cakes!” and a bottle of Nuka-Cola from his bag. She bumped him with her elbow and smiled as he slipped the box into her hands. “Wow, you really know how to treat a lady on her first date, Deacon.” He shook his head, wrapping an arm around her shoulders for a moment. “Charmer, if this was a first date, I’d be treating you like a queen.” 200 years and these things were still edible. That had bothered her the first few times she’d eaten them, but they were still just as addictive as they had been back then, her sweet tooth had survived the freezer. 

They finished their snack just before Stockton and H2 arrived. Deacon watched as she endearingly unfolded the box and flattened it, it was a habit she kept from recycling pre-war. “Okay, you’re both here, good.” Vanessa stood up and smiled, the synth shuffled shyly behind Stockton, eyeing her and Deacon nervously. “It’s a pleasure to meet you H2.” He crept out towards her, she had a way with people, the codename really did fit. “Stockton told me you’d be safer if I didn’t say anything.” She gently placed a hand on the synth’s shoulder, smiling brightly. “Don’t you worry about us, H2. We’re safe and so are you.” Stockton moved to light up the lamp in the window, but before he did a gentle voice came out from the darkness. “H2? Old Man Stockton?” Deacon sat up sharply. He knew that voice. “Deacon?” There was a flicker of light, and the sound of a Stealth-Boy being switched off, suddenly a woman was standing in the entrance of the church. “Victory? Oh my God.” The woman squealed and threw her arms around the spy, Vanessa felt a swell of jealousy in her stomach. “I heard it was a new agent!” “Yeah, this is Charmer. Charms, this is Victory.” 

She was pretty. Probably above average, by pre-war standards, and  _ way _ above average by wasteland standards. She had messy, white hair and smug brown eyes, in fact she looked oddly like a younger, paler version of Glory. Her face was foxlike, mischievous, and although she was thin, her rounded hips gave her an odd pear-like shape. “Charmer huh? You’ve got a cooler codename than me. It’s super cool to meet you ma’am. So you’re the new heavy huh?” She faltered and her face frowned lightly as she looked over at Deacon. “Is Glory okay?” He nodded quickly, and she looked visibly relieved, before turning back to Vanessa. “Glory is my sister.” She clarified, before cackling at the confused expression that crossed the pre-was woman’s face. “But Glory is a-!” “A synth? Yeah, we’re from the same uh, batch or whatever. She and Tommy helped me out when I… Got out…” 

Deacon and Vanessa both tensed up at the mention of the old agent’s name. “T-Tommy… Is he… At the Switchboard…” Deacon awkwardly patted the synth woman on her shoulder, a pained expression crossing his face. He didn’t need to say it. She knew. “We thought you were too, Vi.” Vanessa wanted to hug the taller woman, she did know one thing she could do to hopefully cheer her up. She grabbed her bag and began rooting around in it. “I felt bad, when I got out. Once I got out of my rut I figured it would’ve been too long for y’all to trust me. Just moved to helpin’ synths out here. Can’t do anything big, and didn’t want Stockton to mention me to HQ.” Victory had always been the good luck charm since she’d joined the Railroad, every mission she’d run, had gone smoothly. Charmer was threatening that streak. She’d been out the day the Switchboard was hit. “It wasn’t your fault, Victory.” “Maybe, maybe not. But if I had been there…” 

Vanessa found it,  _ Deliverer. _ Tommy Whispers’ personal handcannon. She’d only used it a few times, but had decided if she was going to trust a pistol to  _ save  _ her life, it would be the one that almost took it. She wasn’t sure if Deacon would want her giving the gun away, but she felt Victory deserved it more. She’d been close with Tommy, Ness had never even met him. Clearing her throat, she held the gun out to the synth woman. “Oh my… Is that Deliverer?” Vanessa nodded, offering it to her. “My God. Charmer, y’all have no idea how much this means!” She was taken aback when she threw her arms around her. She was a hugger. Vanessa could vibe with that, she was too. “Deacon? Is that you? Still with the same old face. How long has it been? 3 months. You’re getting slow.” “High Rise! Ah, haven’t found the time to book into the face clinic, you know how it is.” The pre-war woman hoped he didn’t change it anytime soon, she liked his current face. “Victory, you beat me here! You’re deadly with that stealth-boy.” “No High-Rise. You’re just  _ old. _ ” 

Vanessa had moved to stand by the door, H2 hovering nervously close to her. She didn’t know about him but she was feeling pretty left out. She knew it was petty. “Alright now H2, these people are going to keep you safe. You go with them, okay?” She turned out as they said their goodbyes. She wasn’t good with goodbyes, even when they didn’t involve her. She felt Deacon’s breath on her ear before he spoke. “Ya alright, Charms?” She turned her head to the side slightly. His lips brushed her ear. He was standing closer than he normally did. She didn’t mind. “Mhm. Just itching to get moving.” He nodded, and gently squeezed her shoulder. “I’ll see if High-Rise and Vi are ready to go. Is H2 alright?” She took a step forward so that when she turned to properly face him, their faces wouldn’t be almost touching. “He’s a little skittish. But you can hardly blame him. He’s been through a lot and we are in a very open and poorly defensible position.” Deacon held his hands up, raising his brows. “Okay, okay, I got it.” 

  
  


High Rise was up front, a bit behind him was H2, with Charmer on one side of him, Victory on the other. Deacon was bringing up the rear. Any other time he’d be making jokes about that specific thing, but now didn’t feel fitting. Vanessa’s aim wasn’t getting much better, Victory was picking off raiders as she saw them, and Vanessa was firing upon, or slicing up, the stragglers. They were quick, they were quiet, and Victory was impressed that a Heavy wasn’t doing the whole “guns blazing” technique that Glory always preached. “So, Victory, what do you do with HQ?” She grinned, and before she could say anything, Deacon interjected. “Victory is our resident Jack-Of-All-Trades! She’s kinda like you, Charms, does a bit of everything. And does it well.” The synth grunted and waved a hand, but it was hard to ignore the red blush spreading across her cheeks. “Bah, I’m just a Heavy who’s not too focused on being, y’know,  _ Heavy.  _ Glory’s good at what she does, and Deacon here gets distracted too easily, but he’s pretty good at his spyin’ shit. So I combined them both.” High Rise snickered from the front of the group. “She’s been doing me a whole heap of favours. HQ are missing out.” Victory flapped one of her hands, cackling like a damn hyena, before stopping suddenly, lifting her rifle, she glanced down the scope for a few seconds, and took the shot. “We need t’ move. Raiders are sniffin’ around cause we took too long movin’ out.” Vanessa shot a smug look over her shoulder at Deacon, who rolled his head to show he was rolling his eyes. She liked being right. She also liked Victory. She was spunky and pretty and she was pretty sure she had a girl crush, which wasn’t a surprise, she had a bit of a girl crush on Glory. 

Vanessa moved to walk besides High-Rise for the rest of the journey, and Deacon took her place. It was so she could silently take out stray raiders and animals, she and Vi had agreed that the gunfire was drawing more out. That didn’t stop the synth woman from using Deliverer to take a few out though, another thing the two shared in common was hating the itch of feeling useless. H2 was visibly nervous at being so far from Vanessa, so she beckoned him to walk with her, gently ruffling his hair with a motherly smile. It made Deacon’s heart ache. Despite the fact she was probably no older than the synth. 

He felt a hand whack the back of his head, not enough to hurt, but enough to drag him out of his thoughts. “Ow!” Victory cackled. “So, Dee, what’s the biz with you and Charmer?” He kept his cool. She had nothing on him. And they were out of earshot of the others, so he didn’t have to worry too much. She cut him off before he opened his mouth to speech, being observant as hell was one of her more annoying traits, well, besides the kleptomania. She’d stolen his pistol off his belt many times at the Switchboard, he’d always teased that her codename should’ve been Sticky Fingers. “And don’t give me no bullshit either.” He put a hand on the side of her head and pushed it, rolling his eyes as she snickered. “It’s complicated.” “Hell naw it ain’t. Come on,  _ spill. _ ” She studied his reaction for a moment, to anyone else they wouldn’t have picked up on it, but she’d been paying attention to him since she joined. Mainly cause she didn’t trust him. Tommy had told her all sorts of stories about the old spy, and neither of them knew which ones were true. “Oh my Lord. Y’all  _ slept  _ together.” 

Deacon hissed, his teeth gritted, and glared at her out the corner of her eye from behind her sunglasses. “Victory, I know how funny this is to you, but don’t mention anything. She doesn’t know.” A startled expression crossed the synth’s face and she scowled. “Druggin’ ladies is low even for you-.” Deacon let a curse tumble from his lips. “No, it’s not like that. We were both drunk. We hadn’t met. I don’t know if she remembers but she doesn’t remember it was me. Which is how it needs to stay, alright?” She ran her hands through her messy, flop of hair, and nodded. They were nearing Ticon now, so the conversation needed to end. Besides, Vi could understand his need for secrecy, Desdemona would burst a blood vessel if she knew anyone in the Railroad had personal relations with one another. 

“If y’all ever need a place to crash or restock, Ticon is open to you. Vi, are you coming back with me?” Vanessa studied the synth woman’s face, before piping in. “No promises but we could talk to HQ?” The white haired woman squealed and pulled the blonde into a tight hug. “No… No promises!” “Even so! Oh Charmer y’all have really made my week! H2, High Rise, y’all stay safe, but I have been looking for a change of scene, can’t lie to you both. By Atom you are such a star.” 

Deacon had made the executive decision to keep Victory in the Catacombs, that way if Dez freaked out, it wouldn’t cause too much of a scene. Glory had overheard the conversation however, and Vanessa had never seen the woman squeal like a little girl before. Dez had raised points about the possibility of her being a synth, but Deacon had explained she’d been at Ticonderoga the whole time, High Rise could vouch for her. But no matter what they said, the older woman still had her reservations, so Charmer stepped in. Vanessa explained that she wanted to set up another safe house, it seemed pretty clear that Augusta was gone, so why not. She explained that Sanctuary was a Minutemen settlement, so it had that as cover, as well as protection. Victory could run the safe house and run any additional missions up that end, and because of its proximity to the north, it would be easy to get synth’s out of the Wealth. 

Desdemona agreed. Glory wiped her “sister’s” name from the board (it had originally been struck out alongside Tommy’s), and rewrote it in her chicken scratch handwriting. And she joined Deacon and Charmer to say goodbye. Vanessa thought she’d never see Glory cry. But she got damn close.

  
  


“They're annoying, and they might constantly harass you asking you to do stuff, but the Minutemen are okay. Personally I don’t like them, but you know, these things happen.” They were almost to Sanctuary, Ness hadn’t actually been  _ inside _ in a while, whenever she had business with Preston she met him whilst he was on his patrols down between Red Rocket and the settlement. She hadn’t spoken to MacCready since they left each other's company, and she knew he was staying there. Dogmeat barked as they reached the old gas station and came hurtling towards her. “Holy shit is that a Red Rocket that’s not completely falling apart? Charmer we  _ gotta _ set up here!” Victory was distracted by envisioning a badass safe house, Deacon laughed as the slender pre-war woman was knocked down by the dog, not helping her as she tried to worm her way out from under it as it attacked her face with “kisses”. “Okay Dogmeat, that’s enough,” she got to her feet, ruffling the dogs ears before looking over the old garage next to Vi, “I don’t know, I’d worry too much about you being out here on your own. I know I’m not painting the best picture of the Minutemen but at least it’s added security.” The synth woman’s shoulders dropped, but she wasn’t giving in that easily. “We’ll build some sweet ass turrets. And I won’t be alone, your cowboys are only a stone's throw away! Literally!” She picked up a stone and hurled it as far as she could. It hit the Sanctuary Hills sign. “There will be less people poking around here too, Charms.” Deacon had a point. Vanessa held her fingers together in a square shape, and looked through them. There was enough room to set up a farm, they could build walls around the place for added defence, mount some turrets on them. “Besides, not like she’ll be completely alone out here, synths will come and go. And it gives us an extra safe place to stay. One where Preston won’t be constantly hounding you to do something.” That was what sold Vanessa on the idea. “Fine. Let’s go grab some supplies from Sanctuary, then get started.” She checked the time on her Pip-Boy, with any luck, they’d be done before nightfall, but they’d be pushing it with just the three of them. 

“Vanessa.” She tensed up suddenly, still bent over the turret she was building. She was hoping to avoid this, but she couldn’t just not talk to the merc forever. “Heeeeey, Mac.” He looked her up and down, before he grinned and wrapped an arm around her. They could both deny it but, they’d missed each other, they were basically best friends (as much as he’d refused her offers for a friendship bracelet). She hugged him back, he smelt like ash, it made her smile. “You moving in? Please let me move down here with you. I can’t deal with Preston’s sh… stuff anymore.” She shook her head. She knew she could trust him. “Setting up a safe house, for Vi, to help smuggle synths out the Wealth.” Mac went to ask who “Vi” was, when she rounded a corner. She was pretty. Carried herself with confidence but had a soft look in her eye. She reminded him of Lucy, in a weird way. “Well who’s this cutie patootie. Charmer you never told me the neighbours were this hot.” She elbowed the shorter woman, Mac didn’t know what to say. “Victory this is MacCready, Mac, this is Vi.” “Well if I knew all the Minutemen were as gorgeous as you I mighta considered joinin’ up!” Mac stammered out a response that he wasn’t a minutemen, but he did want one of their hats, and the white haired woman cackled, before wandering back to her work. 

Vanessa studied the merc for a moment, before grinning and elbowing him in the side, moving back to her turret. “You  _ like  _ her.” He held his hands up, a blush quickly rising to his skin. “N-No! I just think she’s cool.” Vanessa snickered, and MacCready took his place leaning backward against the wall, handing her what she needed when she asked. “You know, you’re still on contract with me. Could have you stay here as a sentry.” She said it like she was mulling it over, but she’d already made up her mind. “Yeah!? I mean uh, yeah that’s cool. Long as I’m getting paid.” She nodded, pushing herself to her feet as she finished the turret, an oil smudge across the side of her face. “Okay. Sounds like a deal, RJ. Keep an eye on your stuff though, Deacon says she’s got sticky fingers.” He giggled immaturely with a small snort, but that just seemed like an extra plus in his mind, he also had a penchant for taking things that didn’t really belong to him. 

“Now don’t you worry about me, Charmer. Bobby here’s gonna take good care of me. Ain’t you sugar?” She purred and bumped her hip against the slightly taller man, grinning whilst he grumbled and shrugged his shoulders. “Deacon, make sure this one doesn’t get herself dead, and say hi to Glory for me.” With MacCready’s help, they’d been able to get Red Rocket set up with crops, water, beds and protection before the sun completely set. It had walls surrounding it with a raised platform for patrolling, and the turrets. Although Mac had moaned about the thought of having to farm, he’d been more than happy to let Victory teach him. They’d be alright, they were both too stubborn to die, and Vanessa knew that her new friend and her old one would be safe together. 

As her and Deacon began to leave, Dogmeat hot on their heels (she’d decided having the dog along would be good for morale), Preston had caught them. He’d been curiously watching what they were doing whilst he was patrolling, and Vanessa loudly groaned as he approached them. “General.” “Oh, fuck me. Hey, Preston.” He looked over the settlement before turning his attentions back to the railroad agents and their dog, frowning gently. “Got some settlements for you to check out-,” Vanessa immediately cut him off, “I have done more than enough for the Minutemen. Can you seriously not do anything for yourselves?! You do know I have an actual child out there, I don’t need to waste my time looking after a hundred other children, y’know, every useless fucking settler!” She only stopped there because she felt Deacon squeeze her shoulder, and mumble her new name under his breath. “General, we don’t have the resources to aid in your personal vendetta against the Institute.” “And even if you did, like fuck would you help me. Everything  _ I  _ have cobbled together for your faction goes to settlers who can barely grow their own tatos! I am  _ done _ , Preston. The Minutemen can not help me further, and I refuse to waste more of my time with an organisation that will run itself into the ground.” The Minuteman opened his mouth to say something but was shut down by the flurry of curses that left her mouth, before Deacon decided that was enough. He tipped his hat that was on his head to the other man, and quickly steered his vault dweller away from it. “Let’s go kill some shit, boss. Gen 1’s? Raiders?” 

“Raiders.” 


	11. Taken For a Ride

“Look, Charms, maybe this isn’t the best idea.” Deacon had pulled her away from the man sitting on the floor in the transit station, but she was still watching him closely over the spy’s shoulders, mainly to make sure he didn’t do anything to Dogmeat, who was sniffing around being overly friendly to the stranger. “You said I could kill raiders.” He sighed gently, pinching the bridge of his nose. “But this is different. We don’t know what you’re running into. You’re hardcore, Charms, but I’ve never let you charge headfirst into a situation that you couldn’t deal with and I’m really not going to start doing it now.” 

Deacon quickly realised he’d crossed a line, as her eyebrows sharply and suddenly raised, and she took a step away from him. “Never  _ let  _ me? You need to stop meddling! You  _ don’t  _ control me, Deacon.” He snorted, and he just had to keep digging himself a hole. “Vanessa seriously, if you ran into something I didn’t want you to, you wouldn’t have. One way or another.” She bristled, but kept her cool, running out on people in a fit of rage was beginning to become a habit. She let out a slow breath, and tucked her curls behind her ears. “Deacon. You do know that some of the settlers have taken to calling me “Raider-Killer”, right?” He realised he was staring to let his emotions get the best of him as well. Deacon ran a hand over the back of his head with a groan. “Charms… I just don’t want them to start calling you “Raider-Killed-Her”.” “Look. You’ve got stuff to do back here. But… I’ve got to do this. I won’t be gone for long though. You know that. Can’t leave the other half of the uh, death… teddy-.” Deacon grinned and put on a false angry face. “Death Bunny Squad!” She snickered and punched him lightly on the arm. “Yeah, that.” Dogmeat barked, as Deacon had taught him to do so whenever anyone said “Death Bunny Squad”, and he reached down to ruffle the dog’s ears. “You’ll keep her safe, won’t you bud? There’s a good boy.”

Deacon waved to her as she took on the tram, she grinned and sloppily saluted with a wink, as it rumbled and left the station. She sank to the ground the minute Deacon was out of sight, Dogmeat resting his head in her lap, as she absent-mindedly rubbed his ears, quietly praising the pup. Vanessa even allowed herself to fall asleep for part of the journey. She didn’t know how long she’d been asleep, but was woken by the loud popping of the speakers and Dogmeat’s barking. She scrambled to her feet, bracing herself against the door of the tram, a hand on her pistol. Vanessa ignored the rambling of the tour guide, until it crackled and popped again and an unfamiliar voice laughed gently over the speakers. “I only got a minute so you better listen and listen good.” She spun round on her feet, spotting a camera in the corner, and fired a bullet into it. “Ha. Nice try, but there’s more than one.” 

Vanessa shivered and turned around again, finding the other camera and pointing her gun at it. “What do you want? Freaky robot train.” The voice laughed again and she held one arm around herself. “I ain’t no robot. Name’s Gage. Porter Gage. And the truth is, you’ve been set up. This ain’t no rescue mission, it’s a death trap.” She cursed lightly under her breath, Dogmeat growling at her feet. “But if you make it through alive, I have an interesting offer for you. In the meantime, have fun. And put on a good show. I’ll be watchin’.” She embarrassed herself by shuddering for a second time, she was starting to realise she clearly had a thing for mysterious men with nice voices. But, if this  _ Porter Gage  _ wanted a show, well  _ shit _ , performing was the only thing she was damn good at. And “death trap” didn’t really scare her, not like it should’ve. In all honesty,  _ everything  _ was a death trap, the deck had been stacked against her since the start, and yet here she was, still kicking (ass and you know, in the metaphorical sense). 

With Dogmeat instructed to stay behind her and stay safe at all times, she crouched down and tightened the straps on his armor beneath his belly. “Good thing we found this at that raider camp, huh boy?” The minute she stepped off the cart,  _ another _ voice rang out over the intercoms, this one was nowhere near as enjoyable as the last one. “Attention all my favourite undesirables out there. In case you haven’t noticed, looks like we got ourselves some fresh meat to run the Gauntlet!” She rolled her eyes and moved over to a small box on the counter. Inside were a few stimpaks. Interesting. She didn’t know why raiders would just leave them just laying around, maybe because they’re idiots, or maybe because they were hoping to drag out her suffering for as long as possible.

The voice called out again as she jogged down the stairs and into the first room, “and she’s off! Let’s hope our latest prey can draw a little… inspiration from our previous victims!” These weren’t just regular raiders. This was  _ sick _ . Fun as all hell but  _ sick.  _ The body on the ground by her feet was full of bullet holes, and raiders were renowned for being pretty cowardly, so miniguns were an impossibility. His shirt was singed with burns. Lasers? Ah. Turrets. She told Dogmeat to stay back and slammed the door open, sprinting and sliding behind a wall. Her plan was to take them out one by one, moving from cover to cover, and her plan was successful. She got through with a few burns on her vault suit. Motioning for Dogmeat to follow, she dashed through the room, firing her pistol at the two laser turrets still mounted on the ceiling. “Our new vic sure knows how to dodge some bullets. Good thing that’s not all we got in store for her.” “Good!” 

As she entered the next door, she didn’t notice a trip wire along the ground. It clicked and she cursed under her breath, diving to the ground as a small explosion went off by her feet. “Haha! Who doesn’t love a good explosion!” Dogmeat whimpered behind her, a quick glance over him revealed he’d been wounded by shrapnel in the explosion. She cooed as she injected the pup with a stimpak, “Who’s torturing who here vic? Get a move on!” 

Vanessa and Dogmeat stayed low to the ground as she took apart the tripwires, fingers shaking slightly. Slipping around a corner and finding a locked door, she pulled the screwdriver from the bag strapped to Dogmeat’s armor. Her hands were still shaking, and this was no easy lock, but with about a minute of effort, the lock gave out a click, and she kicked the door open. “Hell yes…” “So our little vic managed to pick one tiny little lock. Let’s see how long the Gauntlet lets her enjoy that one.” “Maybe you idiots shouldn’t just leave doors laying around that cut off half your game!” There was a camera in the corner of the room, pointing directly at the door she’d just walked through. She watched the red light blinking for a moment, before reloading her pistol whilst keeping her eyes trained on it. 

Her Pip-Boy alerted her to the radiation before the raider over the intercom had time to say something dumb. She peeked in her bag, but she had no Rad-X. Checking Dogmeat’s bag yielded the same results. A few pouches of RadAway, but that wouldn’t help her for now, and once she’d gotten through it wouldn’t help much either without a clean needle (don’t worry, she’ll get over that fairly quickly). “Hope somebody brought their RadAway, ‘cause our little vic is about to get roasted like squirrel on a stick.” For the first time, Vanessa was actually a little worried, if she moved quickly she  _ should _ be alright, but if her pip-boy was already clicking worse than Mama Murphy’s joints, she’d still get irradiated to shit. And knowing these raiders, there would probably be more tripwires inside. 

Oh well. Legging it was her best option. So that was what she did, with Dogmeat hot on her heels. The radiation levels in her body steadily grew as her geiger counter did somersaults. They caught a few trip wires along the way, one connected to an old pipe pistol. It fired. A bullet slamming straight into her calf. She staggered, catching herself on another locked door. Dogmeat let out a whine, but she gently pushed him to keep moving, her adrenaline keeping her from collapsing or crying.  _ That  _ would give the raiders a show, but probably not one that would keep her alive much longer. 

Dogmeat was already holding her screwdriver in his mouth. She knew there was probably a key in the room with her, but she didn’t have time to search for it. Nor did she really have time to waste fumbling with the lock, but it was likely the lesser of two evils. The shaking of her hands was making the task at hand even more difficult, so she decided to hit her last syringe of Calmex. She took a little too long to adjust to the chem flooding her veins, before the angry clicking of her geiger counter dragged her back. Her attentions back on the lock, and with significantly less shaky hands, it took her mere seconds to get the next door open. “This vic takes any longer we’re all gonna die of boredom!” With a whimper from the speaker going off right next to her head, her gaze dragged down to her pip-boy. She was way more irradiated than she’d probably ever been. Her stomach churned just thinking about how violently ill she’d be later. 

The “Gauntlet” took Vanessa  _ inside _ the old transit station now, and she dreaded to think how long this torture would continue. At first she’d thought it was kind of fun, but now, with the hazy buzz of the chems and the effects of the radiation poisoning already kicking in, not to mention the bullet wound on her leg, it was all starting to get too much. 

Just inside the station there was an old camp set up, with a lone stimpak sitting next to a cooking stove. The vault dweller leant against the wall with one leg propped up on the desk next to a terminal, and injected herself with the healing chem. She sucked a breath in through her teeth, she wasn’t sure if the wound had already gotten dirty. It was likely. This place was grim. Vanessa also knew she couldn’t keep just pumping herself with stimpaks, the sickness that often followed was debilitating. And she had a feeling that Gage’s “interesting offer” would probably include more of her putting her life at risk. 

Was she really risking her life for something a  _ raider _ had said to her? Attractive voice or not, her life was in the hands of a  _ fucking raider.  _ “Vanessa you’re an idiot.” “What the hell… I’ve seen pack brahmin move faster than this vic.” Her attention was drawn to the terminal, and she sunk down into the chair to mess around with it, Dogmeat’s head in her lap. “Turrets. I will be deactivating those. Fucking raiders. Useless twats.” She crept around the corner. Monkey trap. Raiders used those a lot. They were likely to trigger the turrets. One quick bullet and the monkey’s head hit the ground. “Aw, what? Call me crazy, but I think our vic’s got something against fun.” All kinds of monkeys freaked her out, and those horrifying robotic toy ones were no exception. She jogged across the room, winking and saluting at the camera that blinked at her as she picked the lock on the door to get the hell out of there. 

The next room was dark. Her Pip-Boy registered hostiles, and she dropped to the ground, Dogmeat nudging her side. They moved quickly, and he growled before dashing around a corner. There were sounds of laser gun fire, before a crunching of metal between the dogs jaws, before he reappeared with some kind of overgrown rat she hadn’t seen in the Commonwealth yet. “Rad-Rat. Inspired. Dogmeat, drop it.” He obliged, and a quick inspection of what had happened on the other side of the makeshift wall revealed a destroyed, animatronic alien. As if this place couldn’t get anymore horrifying. 

Vanessa heard the beeping of a timed mine, and luckily managed to spot it, grab it, and hurl it across the room to a safe distance before it exploded. That was when she decided to keep the light on her Pip-Boy switched off. Explosives had a light on them. They’d be easier to notice from a distance without the glowing lamp strapped to her forearm. 

If she was alone, she could’ve just stepped around them. Dogmeat complicated that. And the next room would be worse. She pushed the door open gingerly, the pup by her side growling.  _ Turret _ . Vanessa pulled a newly scavenged grenade from her belt and threw it in the corridor, yanking the door shut behind her. The explosion went off and the buzzing of the turret was silenced. Luckily. She couldn’t risk getting riddled with more bullets today. “Time for things to get  _ dangerous!  _ Let’s see if she survives what’s next!” A curse falling from her lips, she peered around the dusty old room.  _ More mines.  _ These raiders were a little uninspired, but the explosive barrels scattered around the room were a nice touch. 

She didn’t need Dogmeat to sniff them out for her, they were fairly easy to spot and deactivate, or just avoid all together. In fact this room was the easiest one she’d found herself in thus far. 

Standing in front of the bridge, Vanessa weighed her options. The door ahead  _ could  _ be boarded up, in which running across and risking it breaking would end with her injured from the fall. If she jumped down she’d have a significantly lower risk of injury, but she wasn’t sure what was down there. “Oh gosh like raiders are going to be smart enough to put a fake door up.” And so she ran, Dogmeat waiting until she got halfway across before following. The bridge gave out. Vanessa dropped to the ground, heart hammering, and firmly grabbed the handlebars on the top of the pup’s armor. He was not light, and she wasn’t particularly strong. But she managed to get him up onto the platform beside her, praising him softly. 

Unsure of whether picking all the locks to cut corners in the Gauntlet was putting on a good show or not, Vanessa faltered when doing so this time. But decided if she was going to get tortured, it would be somewhat on her own terms. No point in having her body riddled with injuries if  _ Porter Gage  _ was going to kill her (or do God knows what to her), at the end of it. She wanted to give him a little fight at least. “The hell? Goddamn Derrick. That door’s supposed to be boarded up. 

The door swung open to the antechamber, and she heard the familiar click of a grenade bouquet being set off. “Shit.” She managed to throw herself out of the way, tackling Dogmeat in the process, just in time to prevent being horrifically maimed by the explosion. But the force of hitting the ground had her leg in extreme pain all over again, and she’d definitely bruised the bone in her wrist. It was lucky she was ambidextrous. Dogmeat stayed close to her as she picked her way through the floor traps, he had a good nose, he could sniff them out and knew not to step on them. The only traps she chose to disarm were the remaining frag grenade bouquets, clipping them onto her belt. If she was going down soon, it wouldn’t be without a fight. If a large amount of grenades wouldn’t give her the edge to stay alive, it would at least give Gage the show he was looking for. 

“Someone thinks she’s clever. Time for a reality check.” The door she’d just entered swung closed behind her, Dogmeat jumped up at it and whined. “Shh, I’ll be alright. Hang on boy, I’ll find a way to get it open.” Red-Eye’s voice boomed over the intercom next to her head, cackling wildly. “What’s that? Someone lock your puppy out? Just take a nice, deep breath. It’ll all be over soon.” It was unclear what the raider meant, until Vanessa felt her through tighten, and fell into a sudden coughing fit. “Let’s see if our vic can kill the gas. Before the gas kills her.” 

Vanessa wasted time searching her bag for a second bandana she kept for Dogmeat, and wrapped it around her mouth. It would have to do. Her next course of action was to turn one of the valves to her right. “Gonna take more than turning some valves to stop the flow of this gas.” There  _ was  _ a door ahead. She slid through it, taking care to stomp and jump on the radroaches swarming at her feet. “Terminal.” Vanessa didn’t have time to complain about the damn things. By the time she had it unlocked she was starting to feel dizzy, but she saw an option to open the doors, and hit it. The gas stopped and fresh air flooded the room. “That’s it vic. Breathe that fresh air in… while you can.” Vanessa collapsed, gasping for air, Dogmeat ran over to gently nudge at her with his nose, giving her one (very sloppy) kiss along her cheek. She buried her fingers in his fur and let him help her up. “Good boy…” 

Leaving the God forsaken transit station, she was now in some kind of station. Dogmeat snarled to her left and bounded forward, jumping at something in the air. “Giant  _ ants? _ Is this a joke? As if the radroaches weren’t bad enough.” Dogmeat was keeping the flying ones distracted, pulling them from the air between his snarling jaws, whilst Vanessa grabbed an old metal canister, and used it to squash the ones which charged at her on the ground. 

“ _ Goddamn!  _ Look who’s in the homestretch! Time for a little audience participation.” Homestretch was promising. Audience Participation was… less so. A raider wearing strange leather armor above her heckled her, there was like a cage overhead. The raider earned a bullet between the eyes. After the first, Vanessa ignored the raiders primarily. They were all pretty bad shots, besides one who fired a bullet that grazed her cheek. It stung like hell. There was a room full of traps ahead, and a target. She prayed the two were connected and with a carefully placed shot from her pistol, she found out they were. Flames swarmed from the room, she wasn’t standing far enough away and she was rewarded for her idiocy with burns along her hands, and on her leg where she’d been shot before. 

In her confusion, one of the raiders managed to line up a somewhat decent shot. She heard the gun, and felt a searing pain through her shoulder as the bullet tore clean through. That sent the vault dweller into a frenzy, and she sprinted through the rest of the cage, ignoring the traps and the raiders, before she managed to get the hell out of there, slamming the door behind Dogmeat. A siren went off. “Well I’ll be damned. You know what that sound means. Get your ass down to Cola-Cars. The main event’s about to begin!” Vanessa’s assumption of the main event was that she was going to be gutted like a fish, but she had no other choice than to keep moving. 

She found herself on a walkway overlooking the old bumper cars attraction, which was now an… arena? It didn’t look like a torture chamber it looked like a stadium, which meant maybe she had a chance here. In the centre was someone in heavily modded power armor, with a man standing behind them going over it for repairs. He was wearing some kind of yellow barred armor, it was impressive by raider standards. She held her breath a little, and his gaze rolled from the repairs he was doing in front of him, to her, without his head moving. She shuddered, and had to break the eye contact, turning her attention to getting a syringe of Med-X into her blood. “You got me wired up yet Gage?” So  _ that _ was Gage. Interesting. “Yeah, Boss.” With a sigh of relief as she released the syringe into her shoulder next to the bullet hole, she pulled a Stimpak from Dogmeat’s bag. “Finally. Now go shut off that damn alarm.” She used the stimpak. “Alright, I’m on it.” Her hands were beginning to shake again and she didn’t know if it was because she was coming down from her Calmex high, or if it was because the realisation she was going to die here had finally hit her. 

“Hmph. Now where…” The Overboss turned, spotting Vanessa through the glass. Her posture shifted, and she held the bar in front of her tightly. “Hah! Is that a  _ vault suit?  _ You gotta be kidding me. No vault dweller could’ve made it this far.” “Well that’s where you’re clearly fucking wrong. Cause here I am. About to kick your arse.” Bloody typical that the only two people she’d met that sounded like someone from her own country were a robot bartender and some overconfident raider who thought he was the dog’s bollocks because he had some special power armor. She wanted that power armor. She was going to kill him for it. 

Okay. Maybe she’d used a little too much Med-X. Colter laughed, and pointed at her. “You’re funny. Shame I’m gonna have to tear you apart.” Vanessa snorted and rolled her eyes. “Not in a million years. You can act big, but you’re just some overgrown coward hiding in a tin box. If you really were such a great raider, you’d fight me out of the damn thing.” That caught him. He was  _ pissed.  _ “You’ve got quite the mouth on you, vault dweller. Might leave you alive long enough to test it out. What do you think, Gage?” She couldn’t hear if he responded. “Here’s a rundown of how this works. You go stock up, make yourself presentable, and then we’re gonna give these folks a show.” She watched as his helmet tilted lightly. He was looking her up and down. He was disgusting and he was going to end up dead. 

She was shaking again. She stood facing him, until he eventually looked away first. It probably wasn’t a victory, he was likely going to prepare to kill her. But it felt like one. She trudged down the stairs, and stretched her back, trying to ignore the corpse draped over the chair just inside the stockroom. “It’s almost time! After a run like that, this ought to be the best slaughter yet!” Well at least she’d given them a good show. She could rest easier knowing that she’d impressed some raiders. That was sarcasm. “Remember, longest survival time against Colter still stands at one minute, thirty-seven seconds!” “Not even two minutes!? Are you fucking kidding me? How am I supposed to-!” The intercom on the wall crackled, earning a growl from Dogmeat. 

“Alright, I ain’t got much time, come find the intercom on the wall. That’s it,  _ atta girl. _ ” Vanessa glanced up at the camera, and pressed the intercom button. “Gage? What do you want?” “That’s me. And I wanna get you out of this alive, so listen up.” She was silent for a moment. “Alright, I’m listening.” “My kinda gal.” Vanessa snickered. Gage chose to ignore it. “Look, you made it this far, I’ve seen you’ve got skill, but this fight coming up is rigged. You get me? Overboss Colter… his power armor is set up to draw energy from the electric grid in the arena. Damn thing’s invincible, you name it, someone’s tried it - miniguns, grenades. Not a scratch. You get what I’m sayin’?” Vanessa hummed in her throat, tapping her chin, before frowning. “Shocker. The raider in the tin can is a cheating fucking coward. Have you got a bucket of water I can drop on him or something?” “Not a fair bone in his body, but my thoughts exactly. I stashed a weapon for you in the lockers, go get it.” 

Vanessa frowned, but did as she was told, poking around in one of the lockers across the room. She grabbed the weapon, and crossed back to the intercom. “Is this a Thirst Zapper? Sick.” Gage chuckled, nodding his head even though he couldn’t see it. “I’m glad you like it. Now, I think you’ve already figured this one out, but once the water hits Colter’s electrically charged Power Armor, the circuits are gonna short out. It’ll kill his defences, but you’ll only have so much time to do some damage before they recharge. You take him out, I promise it’ll be worth every minute spent in this Gauntlet.” “Alright, Gage. Sounds like a plan.” She heard him laugh again. The sound shooting straight through her. “Good girl, that’s what I like to hear. I’ll open the door for ya, see you on the other side.” 

Vanessa got to work, scrounging for whatever she could in the room. Wasn’t like anyone else was going to need it. She was going to kick the shit out of this raider, and then probably this Gage guy too, solely because his voice made her feel things, and it pissed her off. There was a strange noise coming from the side room, she crouched and crawled through a hole in the wall. Generator.  _ Fusion core,  _ generator. Gage had said Colter’s power armor ran from the electric grid in the arena, meaning it likely got power from this fusion core. She yanked it from the generator, and shoved it into her pack. A trophy. And made her way back into the main room. “Huh, power to the arena’s down 30%... you do that? You’re a smart one, ain’t ya? You’re still gonna need the gun, but that’ll help.” She found herself embarrassed at how she beamed at the praise. “Okay. Dogmeat. Mummy’s gonna be right back, you stay here, okay?” He bumped his nose against her palm and she giggled, kissing his forehead. “Good boy.” 

She slipped the squirt gun between her belt and her hip, and reloaded her pistol in its holster, and the laser rifle on her back. Holding her breath until the door opened. She was ready, she slammed another syringe into her arm, a mixture of psycho and med-x, and held a railroad stealth-boy ready by her side. Deacon had said they’d last longer.  _ Oh Deacon, you were right, I have charged headfirst into a situation I can’t deal with.  _ She raked her fingers through her hair, tying it up in a bun, Colter was egging on the crowd. “Disciples! Are you ready for blood?” Are they cheering the word  _ death?  _ “And the Pack! Are you ready for things to get wild? Operators! Are you ready to see me notch up another kill?” They seemed at least a little more dignified. “And you.” Colter turned to face her, as she stood, feet planted calmly in the doorway. “Well, I don’t think you’re ready for what I’m gonna do to you. Gage! Let her through. I’m gonna enjoy this one.”

The second the door in front of her opened, Vanessa fired the squirt gun wildly, and the second his power armor zapped him, she slammed her stealth boy on. He made a sound she couldn’t describe, “What’s happening? What is this? Where the fuck has she gone?” She let off three grenades, dropping them at his feet. “What the hell? Was that a water gun?” Vanessa cackled as they exploded underneath Colter, watching as he doubled over in pain. “Where are you little girl? You can’t hide forever.” Vanessa took Nathaniel’s pistol in her other hand, aiming her gun at his head. One of the bullets managed to get through the grate to his helmet, it shattered the glass of his eyepieces. Colter roared, and wrenched his helmet off, looking around the room for her. She stumbled into a bumper car. Wrong move. “There you are. Fucking bitch!” He began wildly shooting at her. His rage wasn’t helping him, in fact his aim was atrocious. Through her chem haze, she barely felt the bullet hit her hip.

Vanessa kept herself moving, which was great until her stealth boy ran out, when she was right in arm’s length of the Overboss. He slammed his power fist straight into her chest. She fell back and slid across the room, winded by the force directly to her chest. This was only exacerbated by her back hitting one of the karts. With a shaky hand, she lifted the water pistol, and shot it at Colter as he sprinted towards her. “Someone’s mechanic ain’t got long to live!” He froze up suddenly, crying out as he was zapped again. “Again?  _ Goddamn  _ it! Gage, if you’re behind this…” Vanessa looked up at Gage through the glass screen, his eyebrows were drawn together… Was he worried for her? His gaze caught hers and it fucking _ burnt  _ her. The corner of his mouth curled into a smirk and he nodded. She stumbled to her feet, but was immediately taken off them again. 

Colter wrapped a power fisted hand around her throat, lifting her up, and pressing her back against the wall. Her feet dangled just above the ground, twitching as he squeezed her throat. Gage cursed, hands twitching by his sides. He couldn’t turn away, she was dying inches from his face, but he couldn’t watch. Raider or not, he couldn’t watch this. Colter was a loose cannon at this point, all other challengers thus far, Colter had killed quick, snap of the neck, power fist to the head. But she’d pushed him, and now he was playing a game.

The colour drained from Vanessa’s face, the pale skin a contrast from the glossy red of her lipstick. Colter grabbed her hair, using it to fling her head back, he released it and her hair fell down into her face. Gage could’ve sworn he saw tears. “What’s wrong, vault dweller? Not having fun?” Crash! He punctuated each sentence with a slam of her head against the glass window. It cracked. Gage was certain that if it continued, the glass would smash and Colter would throw what remained of the vaultie at him before he killed him too. “You have something to do with this, Gage? This your little champion you got here?” Her hand slipped away from the hand at her throat. “Look at this, fucking vaultie’s giving up.” Vanessa cursed, and spat at him, Colter roared in her face and her hand found what it was searching for. She grabbed the hilt of her sword and with her remaining strength, carved it into his neck. 

Colter’s hands twitched, and he dropped her, blood pouring from the open wound at her neck. “Shouldn’t have taken your helmet off.” His eyes went blank, and he hit the ground with enough force to stagger her, as she gripped the wall behind her. The arena was silent. Even Red-Eye seemed to take a moment to take notice of what happened. “Holy shit! I don’t… I don’t know what this means! Colter, man, he’s out!” Vanessa slid to the ground, shivering, one hand pressed over the bullet wound in her hip. Her pip-boy beeped, warning her about her vitals. “Gage, what the hell just happened?” She was suddenly aware of the raider standing next to her. Or more in front of her. At an angle. Like he was shielding her from them. “You saw it. We  _ all  _ saw it! Colter’s dead. We’ve got ourselves a new Overboss.” 

Some of the raider bosses immediately began yelling. That, along with the murmuring across the crowd… It all blurred together. She moved her hands to press against her temples, before weakly gasping in pain, her hands shooting back to the bullet wound. His head twitched in her direction. “Hey! We talked about this! She  _ survived  _ the Gauntlet. She was  _ smart enough  _ to take my advice. And she just  _ killed Colter!  _ She’s what we need.” One of the bosses stood up, a man. He was with the ones Colter had called the pack. “Look at her Gage! Broad’s bleeding out on the arena floor, looks weak as hell.” Vanessa stood up at this point, crossing the room towards the glass. “Pack, right? Like dogs? Okay. Keep talking to me like that, and I will  _ fucking  _ neuter you!” She wasn’t sure whether he knew what that word meant, but she didn’t really care, nor could she think of anything else to say; her head was cloudy like white noise and television static. The raider took a few steps backwards with a scowl, whether he understood or not didn’t matter, he got her intentions. 

“Well, with that said, I think we all now know we should show some respect for our new boss, eh?”  _ Christ.  _ She would need to get Gage a bell or something so he couldn’t keep sneaking up on her. To be fair, he might not have been sneaking, she had been repeatedly smashed in the head, her perception wasn’t the best and her ears were ringing like  _ crazy. _ Some of the raiders had cheered, and one of the Operators had called out “Amen”. “Alright alright. Now get the hell outta here. I’ll show the boss around.” They slowly trickled out, and Vanessa eased herself onto the floor, suddenly coming down from her chem high, and aching all over. “Go on! Get!” The minute they were gone, Gage was sitting in front of her, a stimpak in hand. 

“Lemme get a look at tha’, Boss.” She shuffled away, crying out at the agony that seared through her hip and for some reason her leg, even though she’d used a stimpak on that earlier. “Yeah. You’re gonna be hurtin’ all over. Let. Me. Look.” These raiders seemed to operate like a pride of lions, kill the leader, become the leader. She’d just given Gage a chance to take over? “What? So you can deal the killing blow?” He laughed and rolled his eye. “If I wanted you to die, I wouldn’t have given you the squirt gun, and, I’d just leave you here to bleed out on the damn arena.” She supposed that made sense, she was probably a little more than surprised that the raider was basically asking for consent to touch her, whereas he could’ve just grabbed her. “If you even  _ attempt  _ to betray me. You’ll end up worse than Colter.” She kept her eyes trained on him, slowly sliding towards him. “See, you’re fitting in already.” His lips curled into a smile and he pushed his thumbs into her hip wound. “Good girl… That’s it. Hold still.” He was searching for a bullet, if he didn’t get it out before he stimpak-ed her, it’d get trapped underneath the skin. “There we go.” He found it, and pulled it out, before pressing it into her palm. “Where else does it hurt? Besides your face?” 

Her attentions drifted from the bloody bullet in her hand, to  _ his  _ hands as he applied the stimpak, to his face. His eye was trained on her. It  _ burnt.  _ “My calf. I’ve already stimpak-ed it. But- Whats wrong with my face?” His hands were on her leg all of a sudden, and she shivered. He was pushing at the skin where her suit had ripped. “Yeah. You didn’t get the bullet out did ya? Maybe I’ll take back callin’ ya smart.” The corner of his mouth twitched. He was joking with her. Trying to keep her calm. “Deep breath.” “What- Hey! Ow! Jesus, ngh, fuck, Gage.” He’d slipped the knife into her leg, and was cutting the bullet out, whilst  _ laughing. _ “Did you just  _ moan,  _ Boss?” She cursed and kicked him, which only elicited more of a chuckle from him. “Didn’t know our new Overboss’d have a thing for knives.” Vanessa let out a dry sob as he flicked the bullet out onto the ground. “Shut the… Shut… up.” 

He looked back to her face, one eyebrow quirked. He was smirking. “My face. What’s  _ wrong  _ with my face?” He was injecting one more stimpak into her leg, she was already feeling woozy from using so many today. “Don’t worry, you’re still pretty as a feverblossom. Guessin’ you recently got your face beat up before this?” Her tongue slipped out and ran across her bottom lip. That was why her face felt wet. She’d ripped the wound from the synth back open. It really would scar now. “Synth.” He’d been intently watching her lick her lips, his eye rolled back up to her face. “One of those metal freaks? Interestin’. Seems like Nuka World’ll be jus’ fine in your hands. Now, Boss, let's get you up to Fizztop, can imagine you got a lot of questions, and here ain’t the place to ask ‘em.” 


	12. Innocence Lost

Gage woke up in his bed in Fizztop, the familiar dry taste in his mouth that meant he’d been drinking the night before. Had everything been some kind of fucked up dream? If it wasn’t for the fact Colter or the gang leaders hadn’t come to yell at him yet, he might’ve believed it. He dragged himself from the bed, kicking a bottle of beer on the floor, and wandered into the bathroom. He splashed water on his face, before catching his reflection in the mirror. “The  _ fuck? _ ” A few purple bruises were scattered along his collarbone and throat. “Oh for shit’s sake.” 

*

The boss was sitting on top of Colter’s old desk, wearing one of his shirts and damn if it wasn’t a sight for sore eyes. Her hand was curled around a wine glass with her little finger out, looking like some kind of fancy woman, I ain’t ever seen even Mags hold a glass like that.

I’m telling her about the gangs, about how Nuka World runs and she’s actually listening to me. I know it’s in her best interest to listen, but after Colter ran this place into the ground, and since all the gang leaders want me dead, nobody really gives old Gage the time of day. I tell her she needs to meet the gang leaders, I tell her how to talk to them. “Operators want caps, Disciples want blood.” 

She asks about the Pack. She’s already pissed Mason off. And, now I know she ain’t, but she looks as fragile as a carrot flower, and Mason will try to push his luck. “Don’t go to the Pack alone. I ain’t saying you gotta take me.” I don’t know if she knows this but a raider’s been following her. He ain’t a real raider but he’s dressed like one. I ain’t know where he got Operator clothes from and I ain’t really care, but I saw him come out of the transit station whilst she was still in the Gauntlet. I’ll keep an eye on him for you Boss, if he’s trouble he won’t get near you, that’s a promise. “But you really shouldn’t go up to Mason alone.” She scoffs. I ain’t gonna push it further.

She gets up, and I watch her move to the bar. She bends over it. She could’ve gone round but she’s doing this cause she knows I’m looking. Fucking minx will be the death of me. She comes back with a new bottle of wine, and pours herself a glass. I’m thinking her drinking is gonna be a problem. “You drink a lot, Boss?” I’m sitting in the chair at the desk, she swings her legs to the side and recrosses them. I keep looking at her face otherwise I'm gonna get an eyeful. “You should be drinking  _ too _ , Gage. We should be celebrating.” I raise my eyebrow at her, she smiles and puts a bottle of beer in my hand. Couldn’t hurt. I crack it open. “Celebratin’?” Damn smiles infectious, she clinks her glass against mine. “The start of a badass partnership.” 

She says ass like Colter did.  _ Arse _ . I need to stop comparing them, she’s gonna be better than he was. She’s gonna get shit done. 

She’s watching me and I don’t know whether to be scared or to enjoy it, but she looks at me like she sees me and I ain’t much like it, I’ll tell you that. She slides across the desk, and puts her damn legs either side of mine. Her shirt rides up and I can see she’s got a tattoo on her thigh. I ain’t mean to look! She ain’t some common trader, or one of the Pack girls looking for a lay, and she sure as shit ain’t Colter. “You’re staring.” She’s caught me. “You got a tattoo.” She smiles, and puts her glass down on the table, so she can pull up her shirt without showing me more than she means to. It’s a bunch of lines with some dots and stars and I think that’s meant to be a moon, but one of them moons where it’s shaped like a C. I ain’t really got a clue what it is if I’m being honest. 

“It’s called a constellation.” Can she read my goddamn mind? “It’s the shape some groups of stars make. This one is called Aries. It’s a ram. Which is… a bit like a Brahmiluff.” I can feel myself frowning. I don’t really see how it looks anything like a brahmiluff. But it’s kinda pretty. Elegant and shit like she is. “Sorry Boss, I just see some lines and shit.” She laughs, and rests her hand on mine and  _ shit  _ my hand is now on her thigh. “Yeah, they don’t really look like the things they represent. I just like it because it’s pretty.” 

I kept talking to her about the park, we both kept drinking, next thing I know her hands are on my face. She’s so goddamn soft, I almost drop my damn beer on the floor. “You’re softer than you look.” Did she just say that? “Boss?” She laughs again, all musical and happy like, then she’s so close I can feel her damn breath tickling my face. “ _ Porter? _ ” And holy  _ shit  _ my name sounds like a goddamn prayer in her mouth. “Boss, I’m here t’give you whatever you want. But I don’t… I don’t kiss.” It’s true, I don’t. All partners I’ve had, I don’t kiss. Kissing makes it serious. “But what if that’s what I want?” I curse under my breath, which just makes her smile more. She’s got dimples. And up close like this I can see the scar on her lip and the freckles on her nose. And fucking Christ she kisses me and my brain goes fuzzy.

*

Gage ran his fingers through his hair, he was struggling to piece everything together past that point. The bruises on his neck implied they’d done more than just kiss but he hoped he’d remember that. He pulled on his tank top and his armor, and went to speak to the Overboss. She wasn’t there. “Boss?” Her shirt and her ripped vault suit were strewn across the bed, there were pillows there too. Gage grunted and picked one up, looking at it. “Real fancy like.” He dropped it and looked around Fizztop. There were empty bottles of wine and beer littering the room. They’d clearly drunk more than he realised. In fact, he was impressed that she was up and about. But he was still no closer to finding her. At least he knew she hadn’t bolted, she’d left too much stuff here. He  _ did  _ know she’d taken the lift, as he waited for it to come back up before he could get on the ground. 

Gage realised he wasn’t a tracker when he didn’t know where to look first. Why was he even looking for her anyway? He should just wait at Fizztop. That’s what he kept telling himself. “Yo Gage. You might’ve done well with this one, Nisha likes her, says we’re not to mess with her.” He jerked his head in the direction of the Disciple, she was doing a ‘patrol’. That meant brandishing a knife at the Operators and terrorising the Pack. “The Boss went to see Nisha this mornin’?” She tilted her head to the side and nodded, “uh, yeah?” Gage rolled his eyes, she’d clearly ignored his advice of not going to the Pack alone. He rubbed his face with a hand and broke into a jog through Nuka World. 

He heard the commotion before he even got into Bradberton Amphitheater. Dogs barking, raiders yelling. The two that stood sentry on the gate were gone, in their place stood Mags Black of all people, talking quietly with a few of the Operators. She noticed him immediately. “ _ Gage _ . Seems your Overboss has gotten herself into trouble already.” “And you ain’t gotten involved,  _ Mags? _ ” She scoffed, hand on hip. “You know as well as I do if I step foot in there it’s war. I  _ like  _ the new Overboss. Really Gage, I do. But a war between the Operators and the Pack is the last thing you need. Besides, she did challenge him yesterday in the arena.” She wasn’t wrong. But Gage was going to defend his Overboss. “Only ‘cause y’all were disrespectin’ her.” Mags shook her head. “It was admirable. I’ve been hoping someone will put the mutt down. But you know as well as I how Mason is with people challenging his authority in front of his…  _ dogs.  _ If you want, my Operators can come in with you.” Gage frowned, and then nodded. “Alright. But this ain’t about them getting to fight with the Pack. You don’t shoot unless I do. Which I ain’t.”

Mags had laughed and made some snide comment about it being a good thing he was taking them instead of Disciples, and it was then Gage realised how quiet it had gotten. “You gotta be shittin’ me.” Jerking his head for the other raiders to follow, the trio made their way into the amphitheatre. Gage couldn’t see his…  _ The _ Overboss. It would’ve worried him, but she was pretty small, and unassuming. Gage knew better. What worried him more was that he couldn’t see Mason, the man was over 6 feet and a solid lump of muscle.

“Hey. Where’s the boss?” The Pack raider looked him up and down and grunted, before skulking off. The Pack had less respect for him that the Disciples did, and in their territory, he would have even less luck. With the slaves however, he’d have a decent shot, they were still scared as hell of him. “You.” One of the slaves looked up at him, she glanced over him, and one of her eyebrows raised. “You brought her here. She won’t survive 5 minutes with Mason.” Gage’s trigger finger twitched, he tried not to be too bothered by the way she spoke to him. “With Mason?” The woman shuffled nervously on her feet, and a look of concern washed across her face. She obviously wasn’t a fan of raiders, and although the new boss hadn’t been around for long, she was still one of them. 

However, she’d seen bigger and stronger women go backstage with the alpha and not come out the same, raiders and slave girls alike. 

She looked around to see who was listening, “backstage. She kicked up a fuss, but Mason told her he wouldn’t negotiate with her in front of his raiders. She challenged his authority and that’s when he… He got all quiet and smiley,” the woman shivered, gripping the broom in her hands tightly, “I really don’t like it when he gets like that.” Gage was already walking away before she finished, the Operators with him were getting antsy, which would risk more conflict. 

He slammed the door to the backstage open. Mason didn’t even flinch, just turned his face in their direction, grinning. “Hey, Gage.” The raider boss turned back, and as Gage moved further into the room, he saw what had the larger man’s attention. His Overboss was pinned to the table, a hand holding her head down, her jeans were halfway down her legs, which were firmly pressed together. She’d clearly given Mason a run for his money, a switchblade was lodged in his arm and the scratches across his face were now noticeable. “Mason.” He pointed his rifle at the raider, the Operators readied their own. “If you know what’s best for you, you’ll put her down.” Mason laughed, dragging Vanessa up into a sitting position by her hair, she shrieked out and spat at him. Mason rewarded her by slamming her head back against the wall. “What, Gage? You called dibs on her or something? Wouldn’t blame you. She’s a feisty one though, might wanna knock some sense into her first.” 

As if to demonstrate his point, Vanessa lashed out, digging the heel of her boot into his side. That only spurred him on however, as he gripped her thigh, keeping her legs apart. “Wow, good girl, spread-!” Gage fired a warning shot at Mason’s feet before he could finish that sentence, any closer and it would be all out war. “Mason. If I gotta ask you again, it’ll be with a bullet, not with words.” He heard the Operator’s taking the safety off their guns, as him and the raider boss stared each other down. Mason gave in, letting go of the Overboss. She immediately scrambled to get off the table, fumbling with her jeans. Gage went to reach for her, but she was moving past him. He thought she was going to just leave, when she spun around, pink baseball bat in hand, and swung it into the raider, who was too big and dumb to react in time. 

“Put your filthy fucking hands on me again Mason, and I will fucking exterminate every last one of you.” She spat at him again, and the Operator’s cackled, “yeah, you fucking tell that mutt, Overboss.” Vanessa picked her sword up from the table it had been discarded on, and gently placed a hand on Gage’s arm, her eyes trained on the ground. “Let’s go, Gage.” He nodded, following close behind her, taking one glance over his shoulder at Mason, who had regained his composure, and was fastening his belt. There was a look on his face that Gage couldn’t recognise, he flashed him a shit-eating grin and let his hand settle on her lower back as she walked, watching the rage spread across the larger man’s face. 

Vanessa kept her chin up until they got out of the amphitheatre, “Gage. Get these two some caps for their troubles,” she then disappeared down behind some of the buildings. “Come by Fizztop later. And tell Mags thanks.” The two Operators were surprised they were getting paid, they were mainly disappointed they didn’t get to shoot any of the Pack. Gage jogged after her. 

He was unsurprised to find her sat hunched up on the floor, her legs pulled up against her chest. “Boss?” No response. “Nessie?” That got her attention, she slightly turned to face him, one eyebrow delicately quirked upwards. He groaned lightly as he sat down next to her, stretching his legs out for comfort, and to pull a crumpled box of cigarettes from his pockets and a lighter. He ignored the slight trembling of her bottom lip and her hands as he offered her one, knowing she’d be uncomfortable if he pointed it out. He lit it up and handed it to her. She leant her head back against the wall. He joined her. 

“Nessie, huh?” She asked after a few minutes of silence, watching the ash build up at the end of her cigarette. The older raider grunted, running a hand along his mohawk, “yeah, sounds stupid now I think about it,” he raised his eyebrows as she laughed, it was unsteady, she was still trying not to cry. “No, no. I like it. It’s cute. Are you going soft on me  _ already,  _ Gage? I knew I’d wear you down.” It was his turn to laugh. “Thank you. For coming to help me.” “Now don’t go getting no fancy ideas, I did it cause if you go, I’m deader than a damn ghoul. Not ‘cause I like you or nothin’.” She nodded as if he’d said something profane and wise, stubbing her cigarette out on her boot, lifting her Pip-Boy to study her map.

“So I’m assuming our next course of action is to take the parks.” He twitched his head in her direction, she wasn’t wrong, but he wasn’t expecting her to be raring to go so soon, especially after the situation he’d just found her in. “Well, yeah, Boss. But y’think maybe we should like, I don’t know, talk about what happened or some shit. I ain’t one for feelings, but if you start bottlin’ or whatever, you’re gonna eventually lose your shit and you won’t think and we’ll both wind up dead. I ain’t ready to die.” She looked up at him from the screen, a smile twitching on her lips. “I’ll be  _ fine _ Gage. Let’s get moving. We’ll head back to Fizztop, I’ll…” She swallowed the lump rising in her throat. “I’ll get changed and grab my guns, and we’ll head out. Any requests for which park we hit first?” 

They decided on their journey back to Fizztop that they’d head to the Galactic Zone first. He told her there were a bunch of “killer robots”, Vanessa had performed there a few times, she knew all the automated security in the park was controlled by a big computer. They’d just have to find it and turn the robots off. “Easy peasy lemon squeezy.” Gage didn’t know what a lemon was, but she seemed pretty confident.

He didn’t really like robots, they weren’t easy targets, especially the ones that flew around and shit. And they were loud. But, he trusted his-  _ the  _ Overboss. She’d tangled with Mason twice and was still alive and not really much worse for wear, besides the bruises rising on her shoulders and thighs that he noticed when she got changed into one of her vault suits. Can’t blame him for looking; no raider girl had a body like her. 

They took the elevator back down, and made their way back through Nuka Town, when they were faced with someone unexpected. “H-Hey Boss! No hard feelings right?” “ _ Harvey _ ?” The slave eyed Vanessa nervously, and then Gage. She’d seemed nice enough before, but, here she was, Queen of the castle, with enough firepower to make the Brotherhood blush. “You led me into a death trap.” He flinched, watching as she took her pistol from its holster, and turned the safety off. “I was… I was just doing my job! Look you’re alive and now you’re the boss r-right? So it all worked out in the end.” Vanessa was suddenly aware of the small crowd gathering, and Gage’s hand against her back. “Take him out, Boss.” He drawled close to her ear, she glanced up at him, speaking in hushed tones. “But… But he isn’t wrong. He was just doing his job. A job _ you  _ sent him out to do.” He scoffed, “and now he’s here disrespctin’ you. Makin’ you look weak.” One of the Operators edged out of the main group, “come on, I don’t think she’s gotta kill him. Y’know cause it… it means one less trader to do all the work!” 

The Overboss turned to look at the raider, one eyebrow raised. He was familiar. She lifted her pistol and pointed it at him. “Back in line.” He held up his hands and did so. Gage knew  _ exactly  _ who it was, it was the man who’d followed her here. “Boss…” She glanced back over her shoulder at him, a look in her eyes he couldn’t place. “Gage. Harvey is an innocent. I’ve never…” 

“Y’ain’t no fuckin’ Minuteman no more, Boss.  _ Kill him. _ ” His hand was on her back again. His Overboss did as she was told. She aimed the pistol back at the trader, who was trembling and rambling pleadingly for his life. “On your knees.” She kept her pistol trained on him as he lowered himself to the floor. And fired one bullet. Right between his eyes. She was quiet for a moment. 

“If  _ anybody _ . Even  _ thinks  _ of fucking with me, you will end up dead, like Harvey here. And I can promise it won’t be anywhere near as quick.” 

And that is how Vanessa Everly lost her last shred of humanity. The first time she  _ murdered _ someone. And as the trader’s blood spilled out onto the floor, and onto her boots, she didn’t even react. She felt nothing. She had killed an innocent, who was just doing what he had to survive, and she punished him for it, at the orders of a raider. Vanessa was forced to face her biggest fear, losing who she was, who she could’ve been. 


	13. Galactic Zone

Two Star Cores clutched to her chest, back pressed against the wall, Vanessa held her breath. Gage was pressed up against a wall of a building to her left, between them was an alley. Oh, and an Assaultron. A very angry assaultron. A very angry assaultron that had Vanessa’s sword jammed into its back and  _ still  _ chased them around the park. 

She shook her head aggressively as Gage went to round the corner to take a shot on it, and he threw his hands up in the air in frustration. ‘We just gonna sit here until it goes?’ He mouthed at her. She shrugged and then nodded. Gage rolled his eye and poked his head round the corner, but immediately pulled back as the robot shot its laser at him. It missed. But had he left it any longer he would’ve had his face melted. Vanessa facepalmed and he rolled his eye at her again, her pip-boy registered the hostile entity as getting closer. Well, it was now or never. 

The assaultron spotted Gage and charged for him, spinning hands deflecting a majority of the bullets he fired. With a whine, Ness threw the Star Cores to the ground before sprinting towards the robot, and leapt onto its back. The extra weight caused it to topple over, and they both hit the ground with a thud. She pulled her sword out and slammed it through its neck, whilst Gage fired a few rounds into its head to make sure it was dead. 

“What in the fuck were you thinkin’?” Vanessa looked up at him with a scowl, sliding her sword back onto her belt. “Excuse me?” Gage scoffed, and rolled his eye. “You know exactly what I’m talkin’ about Boss. Runnin’ at one of these things with a sword, and tacklin’ it like you’re a dog or some shit.” The Overboss snorted, resting a hand on her hip. She thought he was joking for a moment, until it was clear he wasn’t. “Well,  _ Gage,  _ if  _ someone  _ would have listened when I said that those assaultron were not just statues, and if  _ someone  _ had been quiet like I’d told him to, we wouldn’t have had to fight them.” Gage opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off. “And not to mention you’d be dead if I hadn’t “tackled it like I was a dog”.” That shut him up, and she rewarded his silence with a smug grin, and a punch on the arm, before she went to collect the Star Cores they’d dropped. 

Gage skulked outside of Star Control whilst she set to work repairing part of the mainframe, he kept watch whilst she messed around with the computers, he didn’t understand tech stuff anyway. “That’s the assaultrons shut off!” Gage snorted, leaning against the wall, “would’ve been great if you coulda done that earlier.” She poked her head round the corner right next to his own, “hmm? What was that  _ Porter? _ ” He shivered and glared at her, pushing her head away, “that mean we’re all done?” Vanessa tried to pry his hand from her face, he only laughed at her, “God no. We still need some more before we can turn the rest of the bots passive.” Gage sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “now get your hand off my face or I’ll lick it,” he recoiled, wiping his hand on his leg even though she hadn’t had a chance yet, “yeah that’s what I thought.” 

“The mainframe was bugging out, so I may have turned some of the bots back on. The uh… Mr Frothy’s or whatever they were called.” “Fuckin’ brilliant.” The two were making their way to Nuka-Galaxy, to check for Star Cores and because she said there was something in there she wanted. He didn’t really care enough to inquire further. “Computers are hard okay! If they were easy, I would’ve been a computer-science-person instead of… Well, basically a pin-up model.” Gage imagined plenty of people would pay a lot of caps for those pictures. “So you’re really prewar?” She nodded, braiding and un-braiding a section of her hair as they walked, “almost as old as this park,” Gage whistled, the concept was pretty confusing to him, but he didn’t think she’d lie to him, “did it not surprise you I had a pretty good grip of this place? Especially considering I’ve never been here?” He grunted, holding the door to the attraction open for her, “figured it was that fancy bit of tech on your arm. I seen it got a map on it.” She bobbed a curtsy with a grin, “yes it does. But I also worked here.” 

It was then that Gage realised where he recognised her from, he looked up at the poster on the wall, she followed his gaze, before rolling his eyes and mimicking the pose. “Cadets! I’m Nuka-Girl, ace pilot! You ready for your first combat mission?” The obnoxious, faux American accent was uncomfortable to hear coming from her mouth. Gage was stunned to silence, “Stick with me and we can take on the galaxy!” He lifted his hands in the air, shaking his head, “alright, alright, I got it. Stop that fuckin’ voice now you’re giving me a damn headache.” Vanessa grinned, until the automated version of her own voice rang out over the speakers, slightly distorted after 200 years, but equally annoying. She cackled wildly at the pained expression on the raider’s face. “Come on  _ Porter _ , we’ve got a galaxy to save.” Gage could tell by the expression on her face that she was going to remember this, and use that voice to annoy him more than she already did. “Just when I thought your ass couldn’t get more annoyin’.” Snickering, she looked over her shoulder at him, one eyebrow raised, “you love my ass, and don’t you deny it”, she smacked it as punctuation, laughing as he rolled his eye in an effort to keep it anywhere  _ but  _ her ass. 

They rounded the corner, moving into the queue for the ride. Vanessa was being uncharacteristically unobservant, and Gage had to pull her back, an arm looped around her waist. His armor was digging into her chest, but she pulled him closer by his vest. “You want to get friendly right here,  _ Porter?  _ How lewd.” He pried her hands off him, and pushed her away. “Them fancy-talkin’ robots are round there. You were walkin’ right into gettin’ fuckin’ incinerated.” She brushed him off and snuck off round the corner, he waited for shrieks or gunfire, but after a few crashes of metal, she returned with a handful of wires and computer chips. “Deactivated. They should only be able to be repowered remotely from the console now.” He lifted an eyebrow at her, “and ya said you weren’t a computer-science-person.” 

Just when he thought she couldn’t get more crazy, the Overboss was climbing up onto the tracks of the old rollercoaster. “Since the power is out, and we can’t ride it, we’ll have to walk across it to the other side.” He snorted, but she had a serious expression on her face, “you’re not jokin’. Fuck my life. You’re gonna be the death of me, fuckin’ minx,” he continued to grumble as he climbed onto the track behind her. “You’re more agile than you look,  _ Porter. _ ” He had meant to shove her gently, but she wobbled precariously on the track, and his hands shot out to grab her hips in an attempt to stabilise her. It was met with a lewd comment of some kind that he ignored, and the two began to shimmy along the tracks. 

They had a vantage point over the robots along the ground, and as they and the turrets whirred to life, so did the reprogrammed assaultrons. With their limited mobility, Vanessa used her laser rifle to take out the turrets, with Gage pressed against her side doing the same. They mostly ignored the robots fighting on the ground, they were distracted amongst each other, meaning they could slip through undetected. 

Their inability to dodge the lasers from the turrets meant Gage had burns along his arms, as did Vanessa on her face and hands. She’d tipped a bottle of water over his arms to prevent blistering. It was their second to last bottle of purified water, and in the moment he’d scolded her for using it, but the immediate relief he felt from the searing pain across his forearms shut him up. 

A sudden barrage of lasers from a turret startled the older raider, and knocked him off balance. He slipped off the tracks, clinging to it tightly. “Shit. Gage, hang on!” Vanessa began firing upon it, crying out as a laser sizzled at her cheek. As it exploded, she immediately dropped to the ground, wrapping her hand tightly around Gage’s wrist. “Fuck  _ me,  _ I really didn’t need to look down.” She sucked in a breath, squeezing her eyes shut. “Yeah, just leave me fuckin’ hangin’ here, Boss.” Her eyelashes fluttered and she scowled, “you have a foul mouth,” “you’re a fuckin’ hypocrite.” The Overboss jammed her heels through the tracks to make sure she didn’t slide straight off herself, and pulled him up. He flopped on his front next to her, it being extremely uncomfortable given the bulkiness of his armor. Her breath was ragged, she wasn’t particularly strong and he wasn’t particularly light, especially with all that armor. 

They made it across the rest of the ride without any excess drama, and Vanessa squealed in delight when she found her prize, leaping from the tracks into where the queue would’ve once been. “Boss, there are a shit ton of mannequins in Fizztop please tell me we didn’t come all this fuckin’ way for the mannequin.” Her distorted, fake-American voice rang out over the speakers again and he winced. She set to work prying her old costume off the mannequin. “The outfit, Gage. We’re here for the outfit.” His attention was now gripped. He raised a brow and walked over, looking at the mannequin and then her up and down. “You’re gonna wear that?” She nodded up at him with a smile as she jammed it into her bag, leaving the helmet behind for now, “well, this shit mighta all been worth it then.” Her lips curled into a smug grin, and she bumped her hip against him. “You just want to see me dressed up all sexy  _ Porter _ .” He raised his hands, giving her his crooked smile, “hey, I ain’t gonna deny it  _ Boss. _ ” 

She set to work picking the lock on the employee area, knowing she spotted Star Cores inside there from the front. Gage followed after her, she was certain there was a spring in his step now he had found out what they came for. He would fiercely deny it. 

With a bag crammed full of Nuka-World memorabilia and Star Cores, Vanessa and Gage prepared to leave, when a rogue Mr Handy model whirred to life. The pre-war woman rapidly unsheathed her sword and cut it down, but not before it cut Gage with its saw blade. “Okay. Okay. You’re okay. Shit. You’re… You’re okay-,” he cut her off, “Boss.” Her sword was back at her side, and her hands were on the rapidly bleeding wound on his stomach. “You’re okay!” “Nessie! We ain’t got enough Stimpaks.” Gage was starting to get light headed, he heard Vanessa squeal something about more robots and suddenly she was pushing him out of the exit to the ride. 

Vanessa froze when she realised the path had fallen away with the years, and yanked Gage back from the edge. He was starting to feel heavy, and she didn’t think she’d be able to carry him. “Nessie. Just get those things down to the computer and switch the bots off.” She was wildly looking around for an out, they couldn’t stay there, the robots could come through the door, or they could be fired on from below. “I’m not leaving you. You could be dead by the time I come back!” He scolded her but she was now ignoring him. There was enough of a ledge left that they could get across, and over onto a roof of one of the buildings. Vanessa could see there was a camp that had previously been set up. “Nessie there ain’t enough time for this shit- What… What are you doin’?” 

She was yanking one of the old doors, whilst he kept a hand pressed to the wound as instructed. She stopped to find something in her bag, a pack of buffout. She took one, “I don’t think this is the time for-“ With a crack and a squeal, the door was ripped off its hinges, “I’ll fix it one day,” and she kicked it to create a makeshift bridge, “go! Across! Now!” His laughter came out with a pained wheeze, “well, least if I survive this, and the gangs think I killed ya, I can say you went fuckin’ insane,” she scowled, and gave him a light shove, “oh fuck me. You’re serious.” He poked the makeshift bridge with a foot before stepping onto it, “I will, later.” He rolled his eye and made his way across it, grumbling, “don’t make promises you won’t keep,” under his breath. 

One of the robots made its way onto the roof with them just as Gage had gotten across, Vanessa clearly hadn’t heard it coming from the shriek she made as it sprayed her with radiation. He called out to her and she yelled for him to stay put, grabbing his rifle from the ground and turning it on the Mr Frothy. The 7.62mm rifle packed far more of a punch than her own guns, and the recoil had her slamming it into her shoulder. “That’ll leave a nice bruise,” she winced, pushing herself to her feet as the robot hit the ground. She grabbed her pack and ran across the door, kicking it loose once she got to the other side, watching as it fell to the ground below. “Come on, that’s going to piss off a lot of the wankers down there, they’ll be looking for a way up to us.”

They hopped up onto the staircase of one of the old rides, and then onto the makeshift plank bridge that was already set up. She helped the raider up over the wall and climbed up onto the roof to flop on the ground besides him. “I’ve lived longer than most fuckin’ raiders. You come along and I’ve almost died like six times already.” Vanessa cursed and jumped to her feet, pulling him to his and moving over to where the cooking pot and the camp that had been left behind was. She sat him down on one of the bedrolls, pulling a pillow from her pack, “of course you waste space with that”, she rolled her eyes and chose to ignore his comment, “armor off.” Gage didn’t really have the energy to argue with her, or really take it off, she had to help him with that too. 

She’d pulled a small tin medkit from her pack, and their last bottle of clean water. Vanessa took a swig from it, offering it to him, before moving to look at the wound. “Well look you’ve got more blood on this ratty old vest,” she shook her head and lifted it up, prodding at the wound with her fingers, ignoring as he cursed at her, “you’re going to need stitches. You were right, we don’t have enough stimpaks to heal this with those alone. Hand me the water please.” He swore again and hissed through gritted teeth as she tipped the water on the open wound, rolling her eyes, “stop acting like a baby, old man,” “how-  _ fuck _ , how old do you think I am?” The medkit was popped open to reveal some radiation drugs, a few stimpaks, a tin orange Mentats, two empty needles, a few syringes of Med-X and Psycho, and a needle and thread. “You’ve got to be pushing fifty,” she said it with such a straight face that he couldn’t tell if she was joking or not as she threaded the needle. “...Do I look fifty?” 

“Nessie. Do I look fifty?” He caught a glimmer of a smile on her face as she began stitching the wound up. “I sure as shit ain’t fifty,” “you don’t look fifty, Gage. Calm down.” He grunted, falling silent as she finished her stitching, her hands shaking slightly. He found himself grateful for her bringing the pillow as it was currently wedged between his back and the wall, and shit, he could probably get used to comfort like this. “There. All that whining was unnecessary wasn’t it?” She injected him with one of the stimpaks, dumping the empty needle back in the tin, “do you want me to kiss it better, mon chéri?” Her eyes rolled before settling on his face, he was grinning like a kid on Christmas, “are you jokin’?” She wiggled down a little, pressing a kiss to his abdomen by the wound, before sitting back up, pulling his vest back down. She run her finger through and along the tear in it, “if you have another one of these I’m going to add some ballistic weave to it. I don’t really want to to have to be patching you up every five minutes”, he snorted, his breath catching in his throat, “our first meeting I was scooping bullets out you!” The Overboss rolled her eyes, “because you shoved me into a deathtrap with no help,” “you didn’t need no help.” 

They sat in silence for a while, both with their legs stretched out, Vanessa with her head tilted back, relishing in the last of the sun. She was actually quite content with the silence, but Gage obviously had to break it to say something stupid; “why’d you call me a mom cherry?” With one eyebrow raised, and a gentle sigh, she turned her head to look over her shoulder at him, “what? Oh. Mon chérie?” He nodded. “It’s French.” He blinked at her, “So they don’t teach Geography or Languages in schools anymore?” “I didn’t go to school.” Vanessa snickered and shook her head, “ _ no really? _ French is another language. Mon chéri means my dear, or darling, or sweetheart. Something along those lines.” He nodded, not much the wiser, but at least he understood why she said it… Kind of. 

They returned to silence, Vanessa basking in the sunlight like some kind of lizard, Gage cleaning his rifle. That was until the sun began to set and he could hear his stomach growling. She’d told him to get food before they left, and that had consisted of some noodle cups and some pre-war junk food he’d grabbed from the bar. He pulled his pack close, and took out a can of cram and two forks, “you eatin’?” She glanced over at him, and a startled look danced across her features as he opened the can and jammed a fork into it. “You are not just going to eat that,” she swept over and plucked the can from his hands, “yeah I was-“ “No.” She moved over to sit at the cooking station, crossing her legs. “Grab me a lighter, a bottle of water and whatever food you  _ did  _ bring.” He sighed, grabbing the food bag and moving to sit with her, “Boss, we ain’t Diamond City snobs, I think we’ll live without eatin’ deathclaw egg omelette or whatever,” she rolled her eyes, and frowned at him, “I may not be a “Diamond City snob”, but I refuse to eat cold, two hundred year old canned meat. Oh! I am giving you a shopping list once we get to Nuka-Town. This is disappointing. Two hundred year old cans of meat  _ and  _ two hundred year old boxes of mac and cheese.” 

She lit the fire and poured the water into the pot, it wasn’t purified but would be fine for cooking. As it boiled she grabbed the pan that had been left, and put it down on the ground, “Knife, s’il vous plaît,” he pulled his combat knife from his belt and handed it to her, “that French again?” She nodded, and took the knife, using it to scoop out the cram into a pan, trying not to gag at the way it came out as a square lump, and began chopping it up. “Oui! For “please”.” Her nodding meant that he understood that “oui” meant yes. She took one of the seasoning packets from the noodle cups, and tipped it onto the meat, before putting it on to fry. 

Gage was fascinated watching her, he’d never seen anyone cook like this, he’d certainly never done so himself. She took the noodles from their cups, and dropped them into the pan, emptying the second seasoning packet in with it. “Why’d you know how to cook?” She was stirring the noodles and making sure the meat didn’t burn with his knife, and once it seemed cooked enough, she tipped the cram into the pan. “Mm, Nathaniel didn't always trust Codsworth. In fact he didn’t trust him at all until I fell pregnant with Shaun, and I think that was only because he had to. So I did a lot of the cooking at home when I could.” He nodded, watching her closely. He knew the names of her husband and baby, she didn’t look like she was going to cry. Which was good cause he couldn’t deal with that. “Codsworth?” “Oh. Codsworth was the robot Nathaniel got to help me around the house. Especially once I started working more regularly.” 

She put the two empty noodle cups down besides her, and poured the meal, before handing it back to him. “It would’ve been better if you’d brought some kind of vegetable, but I did what I could. Bon appétit!” He took it from her, poking at it with his fork, he noticed that he was pretending she wasn’t watching. He had a mouthful and was surprised at how much better it tasted than just cram and noodles (which is literally all it was). “Holy shit, Nessie! This is good?” The corners of her mouth twitched into a smile and she went to try it herself, “yeah? Really?” Gage nodded, and she grinned, trying it for herself. “Yeah, it’s… It’s not bad.” Gage rolled his eye, “comfy pillows, cooking. Y’know what, I could get used to havin’ you around. Even if I almost die every day.” Her face heated up and she elbowed him in the side. 

After eating, Gage had set out their sleeping bags on the bed rolls, and given her pillow back. He was laying back quite calmly until he suddenly felt a weight on his legs. “Nessie? What are you doin’?” He opened an eye to see her pulling his vest up, grinning slightly, “You said “oh fuck me”,” she mimicked him poorly, “I told you later.” Gage was stunned to silence, he looked at her, eyebrows raised, mouth slightly agape. Was this really happening? She burst into laughter, throwing her head back, a hand delicately resting on his chest, “oh if only I had a working camera. Your face is a  _ picture! _ No, I just need to check how you’re healing.” His face heated up and he scooted away slightly, she only slid with him since she was still perched on his lap. He was gonna have to get her off him  _ soon,  _ otherwise her teasing would get worse. “Mm~. You’ll be fine. Do I need to kiss it better again?” Gage shoved her off his lap, glaring at her in the darkness, as she snickered and began taking off her armor pieces. 

“Go to sleep. You’re pissin’ me off.” That earned a roll of Vanessa’s eyes, “you’re talking to me like you’re my father. Yes daddy, of course papa, right away sir.” He turned his face away from her, she wiggled down into the sleeping bag, pulling the pillow at an angle under her head. “Goodnight, _ daddy. _ ” He grunted, laying down facing the sky, “don’t call me that shit,” “oh I think you  _ like it. _ ” Silence. “Oh my  _ God!  _ You  _ do! _ ” He pinched the bridge of his nose and rolled over, facing away from her. “Goodnight, Boss,” she began to giggle, but before she could say anymore, “Go. To. Sleep. Fuckin’ minx.” 

Gage was the first to wake up. He opened his eyes to see Vanessa laying facing him, her arms wrapped around one of his, her forehead resting against his shoulder. She was mumbling away between quiet snores, “don’t even shut up when you’re asleep.” He took a few moments to gently detach her from his arm, and then went to quietly pack up their camp. 

Vanessa was woken up with a plate of fried cram and some potato chips. At least he’d cooked the meat. “Gage?” He grunted at her, putting the plate down on her lap, “eat. I want to get out of here before midday.” She did as she was told, before grabbing her toothbrush, a bottle of water and some two hundred year old toothpaste. At first, she’d been disgusted at the thought of brushing her teeth with something that old, but quickly got over it when it became apparent that there were no toothpaste making factories left in the wasteland. She used the pot at the cooking station as a mirror to apply her lipstick, and strapped her armor on. Gage was on his second cigarette. “Fuckin’ finally. Let’s get goin’.” 

With the mainframe repaired, and the robots turned passive, Gage was alerted to Vanessa crying out. “Boss? Everythin’ alright?” She stomped her foot and huffed grumpily, pulling the Operator’s flag from her bag. “I wanted the power armor. It won’t open until we find every Star Core.” “Yeah I ain’t doin’ that.” She huffed and followed him up to the roof, “well maybe once we’ve cleared out the other parks we can come back,” he sighed and nodded, “yeah, maybe.” 

As they watched the Operator flag blowing in the wind, and listened to Red-Eye shrieking about their success over the radio, they shared a cigarette. Before making their way back to Nuka-Town. 


	14. Kiddie Kingdom

“Have you got all the RadAway?” Vanessa did a double check of her bag before nodding, taking out two Rad-X pills and handing one to the raider. “Is it really that irradiated in there? It doesn’t look so bad, and my Pip-Boy isn’t even clicking.” Gage unclipped the cantina from her belt and took the pill with a swig of water, offering it to her to do the same. “So you’ve been here before right? Ok, so remember the things that used to spray Nuka-Cola? Yeah they now spray radiation. Think those robots in the Galactic Zone, but worse.” It had been two days since they’d cleared out the first park. The first day was to recuperate, the second was to wait for the shipment of radiation drugs. It was actually Hancock who had gotten them. The minute they returned from the Galactic Zone, Vanessa had sent a letter with one of the caravans to the ghoul. The caravan returned two days later with the medicinal chems, and half her caps. The letter from Hancock stated he’d require a favour in the future, and had a warning (because they were friends of course), that if her raiders ever bothered Goodneighbour, she’d be dead. He’d also included a few syringes of Calmex as a “sign of good will”. 

Vanessa popped the pill, and handed the cantina back to Gage for him to put it on her belt, “that was full of wine.” He shook his head, “yeah I obviously weren’t gonna let you come out with a bottle of wine. Idiot.” She turned around to face him, slipping her hands through his armor to grip his vest, “mm, but you love me for it.” Vanessa pulled him close and he rolled his eye, pushing her away, “c’mon boss, let’s get a move on.” 

A voice crackled over the intercoms the minute the duo step foot through the gates, “Well now friends, it seems we have another uninvited guest to the park. Up! Up, performers! It's time for another show! Though I doubt you'll even make it to the Theater, stranger.” “Performers?” The snarling of ghouls erupted from a few feet away, and Vanessa pulled out her sword. Gage now had a rocket bat, they’d both agreed melee weapons would be useful to avoid wasting bunkers if there were a lot of ferals. It was a good plan, until Vanessa was standing right next to one of the sprays and was doused in radiation, it getting into her eyes and mouth. “Those radiation sprayers keeping you cool? They perk us right up.” Gage grabbed her hips and yanked her back, holding her as she coughed and thrashed about, her pip-boy clicking angrily. He lifted her arm, she was already in the yellow. “Shit. Nessie… We need to move, or get out of here.” “M-Move. Move.” 

Their first destination was the Fun House, but they didn’t find the ghoul in charge of everything. Stumbling out of the exit, Vanessa was suddenly sick into one of the bins, gripping the sides of it tight enough for her knuckles to turn white. “Boss? Y’alright?” The pre-war woman wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, straightening up, “yeah, probably just motion sickness.” Gage frowned, she’d spent time cracking one of the terminals open specifically to turn off the nausea mode. He grabbed her arm, ignoring as she whined and recoiled away, checking her vitals on her Pip-Boy. “Nessie you’re irradiated to shit. I’m surprised y’ain’t fuckin’ glowin’!” Shivering and whimpering, Vanessa mumbled repeatedly that she was and they needed to get moving, before she stuck her head over the bin and was sick again. “Right, well now you’re irradiated to shit on an empty stomach. You’re either gonna let me use some RadAway on you now, or I’m just gonna do it without askin’.”

He guided her down onto the floor, grabbing her Med-Kit and taking out one of the empty needles and a bag of RadAway, “tell me about your dog. The one that goes crazy every time I put my damn hands on you,” he was keeping her distracted as he prepared the RadAway, he’d seen how she trembled when she’d administered it on herself after the Gauntlet. “Dogmeat,” she breathed, closing her eyes, “Dogmeat? Well I take it you didn’t name your kid, seein’ as he ain’t called some dumb shit like Babybrains.” She stifled a laugh, which fell into a whine as he pushed the needle into her arm, pinning the RadAway bag to the wall above her with his knife, “I didn’t name him, dickhead. I found him at an old gas station when I was fresh out of the freezer,” “then how do you know his name is Dogmeat?” Her eyebrows drew together and she opened her eyes to look at him. He was glad to see colour returning to her face already. “Crazy lady who can see the future told me,” he nodded as if she hadn’t just said something batshit crazy, “oh of course. Makes total sense,” she kicked him gently, “hey. The crazy lady helped me out with her future vision. Of course I had to load her with chems for her to do it.” She laughed, and he smiled, watching as the last of the RadAway ran into her system, “I’m gonna be badly sick in a minute, aren’t I?” The corners of his mouth twitched into a smile, and he got up, pushing the bin closer to her, “ayep, I reckon so.” Vanessa cursed as he took the needle out, and just in time too, as she stuck her head into the bin and was sick again. Gage moved to stand beside her, pulling her hair from her face and holding it back. “Don't worry, I'm sure your hair is supposed to fall out like that. Come on little raiders, you’re going to starve to death in there!” Nessie’s hands shot up to her hair with a squeal, and Gage rolled his eye, “your hair ain’t fallin’ out. Now come on. Let’s go check those tunnels you were talkin’ about.” 

Cleaving their way through the onslaught of feral ghouls, the raiders quickly made their way to the tracks of the car ride that went round the park. Gage stepped out on the tracks, but Vanessa yanked him back just before a car came whizzing round the corner. He probably would’ve survived it but… Vanessa didn’t want to think about the repercussions of her trying to carry him around this place. “Careful. They go around in a pattern. But we’re going to have to move quickly.” He grunted at her. She held his hand and waited, counting the cars that went past, before sprinting along the tracks, dragging him along with her. They got to the employee tunnels just in time, as two cars tore past them, “right,” she panted, “let’s get in there.” 

Her Pip-Boy picked up two hostile entities as they entered the tunnels, and as they moved through quietly, they quickly realised it was the sentient ghoul speaking to another. “What are you doing out of costume again? You know Nuka fires people for breaking character.” “Well, if we didn’t know he was fuckin’ crazy before, we sure as shit do now,” Gage whispered against her ear, Ness glanced back at him, “but he’s right. Nuka  _ did  _ fire people for breaking character. God knows they couldn’t do it to me but they damn well threatened it. I had to do that stupid accent for hours on end.” Gage blinked at her, trying to work out why she felt the need to tell him, she realises his confusion, “oh. I’m curious as to how he knows that. If he’s a pre-war I might be able to reason with him. Or he’ll recognise me and want me dead.” 

They crept along the ground, coming to the glowing out of God knows what, “well now know where all this radiation is comin’ from.” They could now make out the growling of the feral, and Vanessa realised either this ghoul was crazier than she thought or he was actually  _ communicating  _ with the feral. “Yes of course I'm kidding. But seriously, the clown make up helps scare the invaders off and there are new ones in the park.” He was met with a groan from the feral, as the two raiders slowly crept over the bridge up towards the door. “No. No I don't think that's going to work this time. There's something different about this one. Hold still. Stop squirming.” Vanessa silently unsheathed her sword, and waved a hand at Gage, telling him to hold back. “Sorry. I know you can't help it. We just have to hold out till she gets back with a cure.”

The Overboss tensed up suddenly. A cure? For ferals? Had she been mercilessly killing them all this time when there was a way to bring him back? Her faltering gave the ghoul time to turn around and spot them, Gage immediately fired upon him, as he threw a smoke bomb on the ground, and disappeared. “Gage! For God’s sake! Why did you-!” She’d forgotten the other ghoul in the room, and it lunged for her. She suddenly brought her sword up, and stuck it through it’s head. “Why did you shoot at him? We could’ve, we could’ve talked,” “why’d you freeze? You could’ve been hurt.” Vanessa forced a fake laugh, and walked over to the terminal, flicking through the files. “He said there was a cure.” Gage rolled his eye and moved to lean against the wall beside her, “Nessie he’s clearly bat shit crazy. Ferals are feral. They ain’t comin’ back from that. Look at ‘em!” He pointed at the one on the ground, she glanced over her shoulder and it and frowned, turning her attentions back to the terminal, “I can switch the pumps off. No more radiation sprinklers.” Gage just nodded and made his way back to the exit, she followed after him. 

“Oh no! You shut off my defenses! Oh wait, I'll just turn these back on.” Vanessa groaned, rubbing her face with her hands, “fuck me,” “I will later.” She turned to look at him, eyebrows raised, “was just mimicking what you said the other day, boss,” she huffed air out of her nose, “oh. Of course.” He chuckled and ruffled her hair, and he ran off along the tracks. She followed, shoving him down an alleyway to narrowly avoid them both getting plowed over by one of the carts. Gage returned the favour by pulling her away at the last second, when two missile launcher traps were set off in the courtyard of the castle. 

With the wind howling, and her Pip-Boy clicking as a warning, the raiders stood on the roof of the castle, looking up at the ghoul before them. “You raiders are all the same. You come into someone’s home, steal their belongings and kill those they care about! I’m not going to let you kill anymore of my friends. This is _our_ _home!_ Not yours!” Vanessa sheathed her sword, holding up her hands and taking a few steps towards the ghoul, “Oswald, right? Oswald Oppenheimer? I remember your show! The kids used to _love_ it! Oswald I’m Vanessa Everly. I used to work here too. I’m sorry about everything that happened to you. Do you remember me?” He pointed his sword at her as she approached and she sharply lifted her hands higher and froze. “The Nuka-Girl?” She nodded, “the Nuka-Girl. We’re not your enemy,” “You come here. Attack my friends. Try to steal our home. And have the gall to claim you’re not my enemy!” 

Gage made a noise that sounded like a growl and she heard him load his rifle, she shot a look over his shoulder and snapped at him to lower his gun. He kept it tight in his grip but didn’t point it at the ghoul anymore. “We’ve defended this place for over two hundred years. Do you think you’re the first outsider I’ve met that’s chosen to brand “feral ghouls” as monsters!?” Vanessa opened her mouth to speak but he cut her off, she flinched at how he was now screaming at her, “how many of them have you needlessly slaughtered while ignorantly thinking you’re doing the world a favour?” She waited a moment before moving closer, her feet now on the bottom step, “Oswald. So much has changed in the last two hundred years. We’ve changed. They’ve changed. The  _ world _ has changed. We can’t get stuck in the past. It’s too late for your friends, the radiation has changed them forever.” 

The silence in his pause before he spoke again was deafening. “So you’re admitting my friends are sick and yet you try to kill them anyway?” “Nessie…” It was a warning. She might be the Overboss but Gage wouldn’t hesitate to put a bullet in the ghouls head if he became any more hostile. “I’d say that makes you the only monster around here Nuka-Girl.” She’d never heard that nickname spat at her with such venom, she flinched back, her eyebrows knitting together, “I made a promise to my Rachel to not leave until she returns here with the curse,” “I promise you Oswald! There isn’t a cure! You’ve been apart from this Rachel for years, and probably without reason. You want my advice? Get out of here. Go find her. Be  _ together. _ You never know how much longer you have with those you love. Even if you survived the war.” 

The ghoul turned away, the arm that was holding his sword falling to his side, “you’re wrong. There has to be a cure out there. But… maybe she needs my help finding it. I’ll find my Rachel, we’ll search for the cure together. I’ll gather what remains of my friends and we’ll leave this place in your care.” He moved down the stairs, and stood besides her, both facing opposite directions, “here,” he took off his hat, “you should have this. Consider it an apology for misjudging you, Nuka-Girl. It’s not much. But it’s all I have from… Before.” Silence. “Thank you Oswald. And… Stay safe out there. I truly hope you find her.” 

Gage kept his gun on the ghoul until he left. Once he did Vanessa move over to his terminal, and switched off the radiation sprinklers. She glanced over his entries, but decided not to read them. That was personal. And it was none of her business. “You shouldn’t have let him live.” Vanessa tensed up and spun around to look at him, one eyebrow raised, “excuse me?” “It’ll make y’look weak.” Bristling with anger, the Overboss laughed once, folding her arms over her chest. Gage’s job was  _ not  _ to tell her what to do, or to question her decisions, it was to be her right hand man, and keep her alive. “Gage. That could’ve been me. The roles could’ve so easily been reversed. He could be the Overboss, I could have been a glowing ghoul standing there, doing the same damn thing. Frightened. Scared. Knowing fuck all about radiation, going insane from being trapped in this place for two hundred years. I would want mercy. And not a mercy killing.” 

She walked past him onto the roof, looking over Kiddie Kingdom. Without the green haze of radiation washing over the place, it didn’t look much different to how it did over two hundred years ago. Garish colours, giant plastic lollipops sprouting from the ground, child sized cars and rocket shops. She couldn’t help but think of how many children were here when the bombs dropped. How many suffered. She’d never seen a child ghoul. She didn’t think she’d be able to put it down.  _ That  _ would be a mercy killing.

“I’m sorry boss. I never meant to upset you or nothin’.” She brushed him off, her attention now turned to the flagpole. “Who you givin’ the park to? Nisha has taken a shine to you, and I know you kinda like the Disciples,” “Pack.” Gage frowned and sighed, watching as she took the flag out of her bag, “y’know I ain’t gonna let Mason fuck with you again right? Y’ain’t gotta give him territory just to keep yourself safe or some shit.” Vanessa tensed up for a moment, tying the flag to the pole and hoisting it. “I’m not. This is all he’s getting. Garish colours. Pits of radiation everywhere. That fucking death trap car ride? If he doesn’t kill himself with his own stupidity, he’ll at least like it here.” 

The two stood standing, watching the flag for a while. “You know, your job isn’t to protect me. I don’t need you to.” Gage chuckled, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, “well, it kinda is my job, and as much as y’don’t need it, I’d like to keep you alive,” she looked up at him, did he actually care about her being alive? “Cause if you die, the gangs are gonna be out for my blood, and I don’t feel like runnin’ from ‘em.” The blonde sighed gently, pushing his arm off her, getting down from the roof, “let’s get back to fizztop. I need a drink.” 

The sun was starting to set over Nuka-Town, and as she stood in the gates of Kiddie Kingdom waiting for Gage (she’d hopped straight off the roof, he’d taken the stairs), she felt oddly tranquil. For a moment she forgot about Shaun, she forgot about the raiders she was trapped with, she forgot about the Railroad, and the Brotherhood and her awful dead husband. She forgot about all of her obligations and ties to this God-forsaken wasteland. She contemplated running away from Nuka World, but the sound of those footsteps and the feeling of that hand on her back reminded her why she’d stayed this long. “Nessie please, no more roof jumpin’. Thought you’d fuckin’ offed yourself.” 

They got walking back to Nuka-Town, sticking to the old concrete paths to avoid cave crickets and bloodworms (they made Vanessa squeamish). The raider duo were met with roars of approval and howls from the members of the pack skulking around outside of Bradberton. Vanessa ignored it, Gage wasn’t much bothered by it either, he was more interested in which his Overboss had been so off with him today. 

He followed her up to Fizztop at more of a distance than usual. She took the outside elevator up, he had to jog to jump onto it before it left with him still on the ground. He watched as she tore off her armor pieces and tossed them onto the couch opposite the bed, and disappeared behind the screen she’d put. He heard the zipper of her vault suit, and then the sound of it hitting the ground. He poured her a glass of the pink wine she liked so much, and had it ready for when she came out, wearing a black  _ Nuka~Cola  _ shirt, a pair of ripped red fabric shorts and a pair of dirty white socks. She took the wine from him and flopped into one of the armchairs overlooking the park. 

A few drinks in (for both of them), Gage was running a hand through her hair, his other was holding a beer, she was still facing out of the window, but her eyes were now closed. Red-Eye was singing over the radio, and his music was starting to grow on the ex-vault dweller. She was sick of listening to the same thirty odd pre-war songs, and the ballads of her long dead sister blasting over Diamond City at all hours of the day, and although…  _ Russel _ , was no Camilla Everly, he wasn’t that bad. 

Standing at the bar to pour herself another glass of wine, she was met with the raiders hands on her hips. He gently turned her to face him. She was gripping her glass tighter than normal, but her pinkie finger was still pointing out. He was intoxicated. She hadn’t realised he’d drunk much more than her, however she’d been sipping her wine, he’d been downing bottles of beer. She was also fairly certain he didn’t drink very often. “Gage.” He hooked his finger under her chin, sweeping the pad of his thumb along her bottom lip, “yes boss?” Her mouth fell open slightly, as she stared up at him, her heart thudding, “are you,” she swallowed the lump rising in her throat, “are you alright?” He hummed, his gaze moving from her lips to her eyes, “oh I think I’m more than alright Nessie.” 

She sucked in a breath and turned her face away from him. She felt like she was burning. She hoped she wasn’t blushing (she was). “Gage no.” She gently flattened her hands against his chest and pushed him away. “Stop,” “you don’t want this?” Her eyebrows furrowed and she looked up at him with a whimper, “you  _ know  _ I do, Gage. That’s the problem.” He tilted his head to the side, one of his hands wrapping around one of the hands she’d placed on his chest, “I don’t understand, boss. C’mon,  _ Nessie. _ ” His voice was like a purr and she almost gave in.  _ Almost. _

She pushed at his chest with a little more force than before. “No. No, no, no. Gage you do  _ not  _ get to do this,” he rested a hand on her cheek, “do what, boss?” She leant into his hand for a moment, squeezing her eyes closed with a weak sigh, before pushing his hand away, “you  _ know  _ how I feel about you. You don’t get to use that when you need to get off. It’s not… It’s not fair.” He stepped back, his arms falling to his sides. They both stood in silence for a moment. Gage seemed to sober up and realise the gravity of the situation. He hadn’t realised what he was doing, not truly, but he  _ had  _ realised that she liked him, and not just as her partner in crime. 

“I’m gonna go check on the Operators now they’re set up at the Galactic Zone. G’night boss.” Vanessa opened her mouth to respond, but no sound came out. She looked away as the raider left Fizztop, crushed by the weight of the silence, and her thoughts as for the first time in a while, she was alone. She wasn’t sure where Dogmeat was, and now Gage was gone. She’d thought Deacon had followed her, but he hadn’t made contact with her. Vanessa curled up under the sheets on the bed, wrapping her arms around the pillow. It was going to be a long night. 


	15. Trust

“Boss shut that damn dog up!” 

No response. The dog kept barking. 

Dogmeat came bounding into the room, sniffing around the weapon and armor modification tables, before hopping up onto his bed. Gage groaned as the 30kg dog jumped up straight onto him, “Vanessa come get this fuckin’ thing!” Dogmeat whined at the mention of her name, Gage furrowed his brow, and repeated her name again. He was met with more whining. 

The raider shoved the dog off himself, and got out of the bed, opening a bottle of Nuka-Cola on the corner of the table, and taking a swig from it. When Dogmeat began barking in the direction of Vanessa’s room, Gage rolled his eye and finally gave in to whatever game she was playing, it was probably payback for the shit he’d pulled last night. “Alright, alright, Dog. I’m comin’.” Gage pulled his clothes and armor on, and grabbed his rifle off the table, assuming she’d just woken him up in the worst way possible to go clear the parks. “You gonna be annoyin’ as shit today, Boss? That’s cool, that's cool.” 

He stumbled into the penthouse, and was glad he’d brought his gun when he noticed an Operator man poking around the room. Had she brought someone back last night after he’d left? Gage couldn’t blame her, he’d thought of doing the same thing but it hadn’t felt right. He cleared his throat and leant against the door frame, the Operator spun around and pointed a white laser pistol at him, “where the fuck is she, raider?” It was the guy from before, the one that had been following her, the one that tried to stop her from shooting Harvey. “I knew you were bad news. I fucking knew it. You have her shoot a random innocent in the head and then a few days later she fucking disappears.” Gage raised his brow and held his hands up, “I think I should be askin’ you where she is. She’s missin’, I’ve been out most of the night and I’m wakin’ up to the dog goin’ crazy cause you’re in her room.” The man shook his head, still pointing the pistol at him, “Dogmeat came and found me and brought me up here. She’s nowhere to be seen. She left her weapons. And she’s living with a raider. Forgive me for being a bit suspicious.”

Gage narrowed his eye at the shorter man and looked around the room, moving over to where her bed was. His first thought was she’d gone out early to kill something or check on Kiddie Kingdom. But her vault suit and armor was still on the couch, and she’d left that fancy pistol that had used to be her husbands. He was yet to see her without it, the same with her sword which was in the middle of the room. “Deacon, right?” The man nodded once, “she talks about you sometimes. That dog got a good nose on it?” Deacon put his pistol on his belt, and ran his hands through his wig, “he found the man who murdered her husband and kidnapped her kid. So yes,” “good,” Gage picked up her vault suit and held it out to Dogmeat, “then we best get goin’ then.” They followed Dogmeat onto the elevator and out of Fizztop. 

Gage ignored the Disciples heckling as they walked through their territory, and the realisation hit him that if they had taken her because she hadn’t given them a park yet, they wouldn’t be finding her in one piece. What he couldn’t ignore was Mags and William Black leaving the market, “Gage. What are you doing with one of my Operators?” “Runnin’ a job for the Overboss. She wants the last of them Star Cores and it’s your territory so I got one of you comin’ with me. She’s got important shit to work out, ain’t to be disturbed.” Mags folded her arms over her chest and laughed, “well, tell her she needs to come over at some point, I’ve got a bottle of wine in for her. It’s nice to have an Overboss, in fact another  _ woman,  _ with class around here. Not a brute like Colter or Nisha.” Dogmeat began to bark and run around in circles, “yeah that’s great Mags, we got shit to do, I’ll tell her.” William narrowed his eyes at Deacon, and opened his mouth to say something, but they were already walking away. 

Gage and Deacon didn't converse as they traveled to find the pre-war woman, and the silence was actually making both of them uncomfortable. After Vanessa had left him at the transit station, Deacon quickly realised that he would struggle to go back to working without a partner, and as much as he never really wanted one, it was odd to be alone again. It was why he’d chosen to follow her, being away from her made him uncomfortable. As for Gage, he was just hoping that this Overboss wouldn’t turn out like the last, hoping that she wouldn’t start pushing him away and not listening to him, but as they neared Bradberton he realised maybe she’d just gone off on her own for the day, yes it was strange that she’d left her pistol and her sword, and yes it was strange she wasn’t wearing her vault suit, but he knew she had other weapons, and clothing with ballistic weaving, and that damn rocketsuit. 

One of the houses in Bradberton had most of the ferals snarling at the door, trying to smash their way in. Dogmeat barked at it and growled. “Well, if she ain’t in there, somethin’ is. Somethin’ alive if it’s got ‘em all riled up like that.” Gage pulled his rifle and fired upon the ferals, Deacon followed suit. They were at enough of a distance that they took most of them out before they got close, and Dogmeat tackled a lot of the stragglers. One however, managed to startle Deacon, knocking his pistol from his hands. Gage turned his head to see if he was alright, before rolling his eye, and jogging over to slam the butt of his rifle into the ghouls head, “how the hell did you keep her alive so long? No wonder she takes better care of herself than I expected if she’s got people like you watchin’ her back,” “yeah at least I got my two eyes on her back, not one on her ass.” Gage did have a hand outstretched to help Deacon up, but at that he rolled his eye and pulled his hand away, following Dogmeat up into the house. 

“Signs of a struggle. Promising.” “Yeah, a struggle don’t mean her though. Nuka-World’s got slavers.” Deacon scoffed, walking past Gage and looking at the blood stains on the floor. They were beginning to dry. There was a layer of dust on the furniture, and he stifled a laugh thinking of how Vanessa would react to it. “I know, don’t remind me. It’s another thing she shouldn’t be involved with but here she is stuck with you,” Gage shook his head, “she ain’t stuck, Deacon. She can leave when she wants, she knows that.” Deacon forced a laugh, watching as Dogmeat turned his attention to the stairs. The raider and the spy followed the dog along the hallway, before he stopped suddenly, whining and scratching at a door. Gage kicked it open, much to Deacon’s dismay.

The room was dark, the windows boarded up. The only thing visible in the room was a blinking red light. Slave collar. “Gage? Is that you?” Gage let out a sigh of relief. Deacon had to admit to himself that it stung, she had to know he was out here, and he’d already told her he’d never let her get herself into serious trouble. Why did she assume the raider would come get her but not  _ him?  _ “Yeah Nessie. I’m here. I brought a friend too,” Deacon raised a brow, “hey Charms.” There was a quiet gasp from the darkness, “Deacon. I can’t believe you… My Pip-Boy. My Pip-Boy is over there somewhere, can one of you gentlemen please switch it on. It’s quite ominous sitting in the darkness like thi-! Oh! Hello Dogmeat. I thought I heard you barking. Although part of me thought I was going crazy. I missed you too bubba.” 

Gage stumbled in the darkness. Deacon had adjusted much quicker, and quickly found her Pip-Boy sitting on a table in the corner, and switched on the light. “So. How bad do I look?” Deacon was startled, one of her legs looked broken, or at least the ankle, it would explain why she hadn’t bolted the minute her kidnappers had left her alone. Her hands were tied together with some old rope and her wrists looked rubbed raw. Blood had dried around her nose and mouth, but somehow, none of that was the most shocking thing. Blonde curls littered the floor. Her hair had been crudely cut off below her ears. “Jesus Christ, Charms.” The Overboss let out a weak breathy chuckle, “well, I thought I was dead, I can’t look  _ that  _ bad.” Gage put down his rifle and took out his knife, crouching down in front of her to untie her hands, “you look as pretty as a cactus flower, boss. We’ll get you cleaned up and you’ll be back to your damn fuckin’ supermodel self. Even  _ with  _ the short hair.” Vanessa laughed again, gently rubbing her wrists, “Deacon’s the liar, not you.” That stung too. 

The raider and the spy (that sounds like a corny film) spent about an hour administering stimpaks and Med-X to her leg, and simply waiting for it to heal itself before they even attempted to get her to her feet. She continued to make jokes, and both of the men knew that was to stop herself from bawling. It was Porter that gave her soft encouragement before lifting her up, tenderly stroking the back of her head along her hairline. “Let’s get this fuckin’ thing off,” Deacon tried to ignore the blatant adoration on her face as the raider effortlessly got the slave collar off, he also tried to ignore how it looked like he’d done that so many times, “there we go. Shouldn’t have shit like that around your neck. You ain’t a fuckin’ slave, you’re the fuckin’ Overboss, Nessie.” 

Deacon snorted, looking over the two, “she’s just come pretty close to being one though. You raiders are nothing but trouble,” Vanessa felt Gage tense up against her, “don’t think I don’t know shit about the  _ Railroad.  _ Could’ve easily been any of your lot that caused this, sneaky fuckers.” Vanessa cleared her throat, tugging at the oversized shirt she was still wearing from the night before, “shut up. The pair of you. Yes, Deacon is correct, raiders  _ are  _ trouble. It could’ve been the Disciples, although I think I’d be dead, it could’ve been a rival gang, it could’ve been some loose traders. But Gage isn’t wrong either. The Railroad has a lot of enemies too. The Brotherhood could’ve found out I was working with them, the Institute could’ve found it out. Point is; I have a lot of enemies in the Wasteland. Hell, it could’ve been Preston and his gang of merry idiots. So there’s no point arguing about whose fault it is, I really don’t need a fucking domestic right now.” 

The two men fell silent, and Vanessa smiled, gently clapping her hands together, “good. Now can we please get going. I am simply starving and I can see the dust in this place.” 

So pumped full of painkillers, Vanessa was able to walk without much trouble. Even so, Gage kept a hand on her back with more pressure than normal. The events of the last few days had really made him reevaluate his relationship with the Overboss, and he really needed to talk to her about it, but not whilst Deacon was sniffing around. 

They decided to loop around the back of Nuka-Town USA, to enter by the back of Fizztop. Gage didn’t want any of the raiders to see the Overboss in this state, less they see it as a sign of weakness. They took the elevator inside the building up, as to alert less attention, seeing as she was meant to have been inside all day. Once inside, Gage and Deacon both agreed that Vanessa should not be on her feet cooking for the next God knows how long whilst she tried to use irradiated junk to make what would pass for a gourmet meal even before the bombs dropped. She eventually gave in, on the grounds she could dictate whatever it was Gage cooked. He argued noodle cups, she argued you couldn’t have noodles for breakfast. Naturally, the ex-vault dweller won, and Gage ended up making mirelurk egg omelettes with fried cram. 

Around midday, the painkillers started to wear off, and Vanessa started to get cranky. “Deacon. You followed me here.” Gage looked up from his rifle, he was sitting on the couch at the end of her bed, “oh this is gonna be good”, he mumbled under his breath. “Yes, Charms. I told you I wasn’t going to let you run straight into danger.” Deacon was sitting in an armchair reading a book. He didn’t look up from it. “Gage,” the raider sighed, “ah hell don’t drag me into this,” “Gage. Did I make it through the Gauntlet on my own?” “Ayep, you did, Boss.” Vanessa sat up (she had been laying down on her bed), and clapped her hands together, “well. It seems I ran straight into danger. And took care of it all by myself. And not much worse for wear either. Deacon I told you to let me do this. In fact we both agreed you would take care of things back in the Commonwealth. You told me you had important railroad business to attend to.” Deacon sighed, closing the book but keeping his thumb between the pages to keep his place, “and you told me you were coming here to wipe out raiders. Not  _ join _ them, Charmer.” Vanessa stood up suddenly and wobbled uneasily on her feet. Gage put his rifle down, ready to catch her if she fell. “Are you seriously going to pull the same shit Paladin Danse did right now? As I told him, and the Brotherhood, my allies are my own, it is none of your, or the railroad’s, business. This world I have found myself in is cutthroat and brutal, and if I must become the Overboss of Nuka World to stay alive and save my son then so fucking be it. I can at least have fun whilst I’m doing it.”

Deacon cursed and threw his book down, “Vanessa are you kidding me? Have fun? You’re working with raiders,” she flinched at him using her actual name, “raiders who are in no way interfering in the business of you  _ or  _ your Railroad. Deacon, I think it’s time you left, and Dogmeat here is going to make sure you actually do so. I will see you back at Red Rocket when I’m ready. Oh, and say hi to MacCready and Vi for me.” The Railroad agent sighed, and pushed his sunglasses up his nose. She was right. And although it was coming from a place of frustration, he understood where she was coming from, and he understood that she was mad he followed her. Vanessa also knew she was being harsh, but she was in a lot of pain and coming down from a Med-X high. “If you do need to contact me I’ll be using the bin out front as a temporary dead drop.” Deacon moved to leave, Dogmeat hot on his heels, “stay safe, Charms.”

They heard the elevator doors close and Gage watched as she wobbled on her feet again, and squeezed her eyes shut. He got up from the couch and gently put a hand on her hip and her shoulder, pushing her to sit down on the bed. “Atta girl. Relax that leg. Don’t wanna make it angrier now, do we Boss?” She shook her head and let him position her with her leg back up, “it’s still healin’ itself. I know it feels better but don’t you start runnin’ around doin’ stupid shit. You’ll only make it worse.” She gripped his tank, “Med-X. Calmex. Whatever. Please.” Gage shook his head, and sat down on the bed besides her, “you don’t need it. You’re the fuckin’ Overboss… Boss? Can I ask you somethin’?” She snickered and leant into his side, “you just did.” He groaned, but let an arm rest around her, “oh my God maybe I oughta just shoot you instead. Seriously though?” She nods, and he swings both of his legs up onto the bed, letting her cuddle up against his side, “we been runnin’ together awhile now, y’know? Now I know it ain’t been that long, but we've been through some shit together. And I’ve seen you ain’t afraid to do and take what you want, you don’t let nobody get in your way. Got more guts than most folks.” 

Vanessa turned her head to the side to look up at him, but he was staring straight ahead, off in the distance somewhere. “I guess I’m wonderin’ is… Why? What’s in all this for you?” She didn’t answer right away, and he glanced down at her momentarily, “I want to burn it down Gage, all of it.” He mulled it over for a moment, not the answer he was expecting but then again, he didn’t know what he was expecting. “Doing a bang-up job of it so far, boss. Honestly. You ask me, the whole damn world is here just to tear you down. Decks stacked against you since the very beginning. Most folks are too stupid to realise it. They just sorta stumble through, managing to scrape together some shitty little life for themselves.” He sucked in a breath as she gently nuzzled at his side, balling up his tank in her hand. He was tense as all hell, not very comfortable to lean against but she was happy because this was the closest the two had been since she’d come to Nuka World. 

“They struggle every day. Until something catches them off guard and then that’s it. Lights out.” He heard her sigh gently, and the next time he looked down at her, he caught her gaze, there was a softer look on her face, “they can’t help it, Gage. They’re twats, they don’t know any better.” “That’s what I mean. They don’t get how it is. They don’t see it comin’. But then, some folks are too aware of it, y’know? They see the world for how fucked up it is. And so they decide they gotta have it all, right now. All the booze, all the chems, all the caps, and they don’t care how they get it.” One of his hands was now gently running through her hair, it was strange how much shorter it is (she’d commented she looked like she’d been plugged into an electric socket, he didn’t get it). “In fact, if they can take it from others, they feel like they’re gettin’ the upper hand. Only, they ain’t. We all got our vices, you drink, I smoke but… Fuckin’ raiders… They get so greedy, so focused on 'right now' they make shitty mistakes, and wind up dead. Hell, maybe some of them are trying to get killed.”

The latter struck hard with the Overboss. The thought had crossed her mind that it was what she was doing. Throwing herself in harm's way just to get herself killed. “ _ Shit Porter,  _ do you need a plaster for this bleeding heart of yours?” She rested a hand over where his heart would be, he laughed, and rolled his eye, “Naw, boss. I don’t have sympathy for ‘em. You and me, though... We're different. We know how to walk the line between fighting for what we deserve and getting out of control. I mean, you grew up in a whole different world, but I had this shit figured out early. Grew up in your average crap-hole settlement, with parents that meant well, but…” She felt his breath catch in his chest, and pushed herself up so she could look at him better. This was serious. He hadn’t told her shit about himself, not really. 

“They were pushovers. Watched them get smacked around by Raider gangs for years, handin’ over whatever they had to keep their lives. One day, I'm watchin’ them cower in front of some punk with a gun, and it just hits me. "I ain't gonna end up like this," I says to myself. So I bail. I'm what, twelve years old? Didn't matter. I'd seen enough of the world to know how shit works.” That caught her off guard, she looked up at him, and yet again he was staring off at something in the distance.  _ Twelve _ . What if she did all this shit to find Shaun, and he just left her. Ran off like Gage did? “Shit. Gage I’m… Where are your parents now?” She watched his eyebrows raise, and felt as he let a slow breath out of his nose. “Who the hell knows? Dead, I'm sure. Probably a long time ago. Doesn't matter; hasn't mattered in decades.” She thought about making a joke about his age, but it didn’t feel right. 

“I bounced around for a few years, taking whatever jobs I could to pay for food, one way or another. I was a runner for a caravan for a while, did some scavengin’, did odd jobs for settlements... No matter what, one thing never changed. When the Raiders came through, everyone rolled over. Raiders took what they wanted, moved on, and that was that. Didn’t take long before I finally figured out where I’d really been headin’  _ all along.  _ Next time a gang came through, I joined. Worked my way up over the years, and now here we are.” His hand tensed up slightly in her hair, “runnin’ with you now, seems like it was all worth it.” 

Vanessa paused for a moment to take in the situation. She was curled up against his side, he had a hand in her hair and one on her waist, and he was telling her things he’d probably never told anyone before. “Is running together all we are doing here?” It fell out before she could stop it, and she felt him tense up even more. “ _ Geez,  _ boss, look I know how you… and what happened last night and I… One step at a time, okay? How about we keep going like this and we’ll see where things end up. That work for you?” He was looking down at her again, and she glanced up, “okidoki.” 

“Alright. Well, you need rest, and I’m gonna go shave my head, startin’ to get all fuzzy.” He got up and left her there. He did genuinely need to shave his head, so there he was, trying to do so in the cracked, dirty bathroom mirror, but he also had to get away from the situation. His hands were shaking like a psycho addict and it was making it hard to hold the straight razor. “ _ Porter. _ ” He flinched, and almost nicked his own head with the blade, turning to look at her, “Nessie! You ain’t supposed to be on that leg, I told you to rest,” she glanced at his hands, then looked back to his face, “you’re shaking. You’re just going to end up cutting yourself. Let me do it.” He frowned lightly, “naw boss, I’ll be alright,” she pinched his hand in a way that made him drop the razor, and she caught it. “Do you trust me?” 

_ That’s a loaded question, Nessie.  _ “Well, yeah, but-.” She cut him off, “cool. Grab a bar of soap and a bottle of water.” She turned on her heel and walked back into the penthouse. 

When night fell, Gage was sitting on his bed in Fizztop flicking through a book the Overboss has told him to read. It was awful. She’d promised him she’d try to sleep, and he’d left the doors open so that he’d be able to keep watch, if anyone came in, he’d wake up. Unfortunately for her, the open doors meant he heard that she was definitely not trying to sleep. He’d heard her padding barefoot around her quarters, and he’d ignored it for the most part. But, when he heard the sound of a glass shattering, and then the subsequent slew of profanities that fell in whispers from her lips, he tossed the book across the table and got up to go check on her. “Nessie.” He heard her curse again, and watched as she peaked up from the other side of the bar, “sorry, did I wake you? I just woke up and wanted a bottle of water and I… I uh…” She trailed off at the cold look on his face. “Uh huh?” “I can’t sleep.” “Didn’t think so.” 

The two stood in the bar for a few minutes, Vanessa fiddling with the hem of her T-shirt, staring at the ground like a teenager who’d been caught in trouble by her parents. “Bed.” She rubbed her wrists and looked up at him, “yes sir.” “Fuckin’ minx.” He took a few steps into the room, watching as she climbed into the bed, wrapping her arms around one of the extra pillows. Gage raised his eyebrow about the glimmer of metal he spotted underneath her pillow, and walked closer, pulling her gun out from under it, “that's a good way to blow your own damn head off.” 

“I’m not weak,” “I ain’t sayin’ you are.” She sighed and sat up, staring at him in the darkness. “I know. I’m just… I’m scared, okay? What happened today, it… A few months ago I was a fucking housewife, and today I got  _ kidnapped _ and I just… I don’t like feeling helpless.” Well shit, of course she did. And he felt bad for brushing today’s events under the carpet like she had. He nodded slowly, and then did something neither of them expected. He climbed into the bed behind her, his chest flush with her back, “sleep, Nessie.” Gage tucked her head under his chin, pulling the sheets over her and wrapping an arm along her middle, “I ain’t gonna let anyone take you. Sleep.” And although it took a while, she did. 


	16. Tall Tales, Short Girls

_ “Victory?”  _

_ “Yes, sugarcube?”  _

_ “What is that?”  _

_ The young merc and the synth were hiding in a corridor in Greentech Genetics, their guns at the ready. “That would be a Courser, Bobby.” The merc sighed, “I thought so. Are you gonna tell me why we’re here?” Victory muffled a laugh behind her hand, “‘cause fuck Coursers.” MacCready shrugged. That was good enough for him. “Can we take one on?” Victory hummed, tugging on her sniper rifle strap, and slinging it on her back in exchange for her shotgun, “I have no idea. Pretty cool if we do though, huh? And we’ll be doin’ the world a favour. Win win.” Mac rolled his eyes, and grinned at the synth woman, she wasn’t much smaller than him (far taller than Vanessa was), yet she still had to tilt her head to look at him. “Unless we die. Then it’s lose lose.” She hummed again, then grabbed him by the lapels of his coat, planting a kiss on the corner of his mouth, startling him. “H...Hang on! A-Are you at least gonna…gonna do that p-properly?” He was blushing and stuttering like a damn lovesick kid, and he hated it. She lightly poked his nose, “more reason not t’die.” He shook his head as she cackled, reloaded her shotgun, and dashed down the corridor to get the drop on the Courser.  _

“And you killed it?” Mac leant back in his chair and snorted at the question, “of course we did. Never met a thing we couldn’t kill,” him and Victory bumped fists, “Robbie is right. We’re after a deathclaw next.” Deacon simply blinked at the pair, and even Vanessa was a little stunned. Admittedly she’d never seen a courser in action, but she’d heard they mowed down many of the Railroad heavies. “But you haven’t even heard the best part yet. Would you believe me if I told you this crazy woman tackled the damn thing?” 

_ MacCready jogged after her, their footsteps had alerted the Courser, who spun around at the sound, and began switching on a Stealth-Boy. “Oh fuck no!” Victory suddenly dropped her shotgun and leapt onto the courser just as the Stealth-Boy kicked in. It was quite eerie, watching her thrash around on an invisible target, and the way the Courser was moving made it difficult for Mac to line up a safe shot. Victory pulled her knife from its pouch on her thigh, and jammed it into what she thought was the Courser’s shoulder. It enraged him and he slammed an arm back against her, hitting her right in the nose. It began to bleed immediately, and in her shock, Victory was flung from her target, her back hitting the wall. “Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit, they’re giving you guys more trainin’ now, huh?”  _

_ It hadn’t been a waste however, as her distraction had allowed the Stealth-Boy to run out, and Mac managed to get a shot on the Courser. The bullet ripping right through his stomach just as he went visible. He cried out and pressed one hand to his abdomen, the other trying to pull Victory’s combat knife from his shoulder. She pushed herself to her feet, and immediately ran at the Courser again, tackling him to the ground, hands on his neck.  _

“Hang on, hang on. Vi, how on Earth are you strong enough to  _ tackle a Courser? _ ” Victory shuffled uncomfortably in her seat at Vanessa’s line of questioning, “yeah, to be fair Victory, we worked together and I never realised you were that strong.” She opened her mouth to say something, but Mac rolled his eyes and cut her off, “right, you fu… Freaking mungos need to shut up and listen.” Victory snickered, grateful for MacCready’s interjection, “Robbie’s right. Please hold all questions until the end of the pre-sen-tation.” 

_ Mac was growing tired of following insane women across the wasteland, first Ness, now Victory. The synth was probably more crazy, because she’d grown up in this mess, Vanessa was almost fresh into it when they met. “MacCready? Sugar? Think you could, shit, lend me a hand here?” She was still trying desperately to keep the Courser down, knowing full well the minute he got his hands on either her or Mac, they would take an absolute battering. Regardless of how well she’d been trained, regardless of how she and this Courser should’ve been equally matched, she hadn’t kept up with that regime, and she was going to pay the price for it later. She was already beginning to ache all over. Mac fired another shot, this time it made contact with the side of the Courser’s head, however to the surprise of both, he managed to wrench Victory off, and still get to his feet.  _

“RJ, honey, I don’t mean to interrupt. But are the two of you being over-dramatic, or did this…  _ Thing _ , actually survive being shot in the head?” The young merc grumbled, folding his arms over his chest, “I’m not a liar,” “to be fair, Charms, I did tell you how terrifying Coursers are.” Vanessa turned to Deacon, and raised a brow, “well yes, but you never told me they could survive being  _ fucking shot in the head! _ ” Victory smiled at the blonde, “I think we’re battin’ for the wrong team, Nessa,” she raised a brow and smiled at the synth, “I think that was a cute way to suggest we ditch the men and run away together.” MacCready’s breath audibly caught in his throat, and his face heated up. The two looked at him, narrowing their eyes, “oh I think RJ has thought about this one.” He stammered and blushed harder, Victory poked his cheek, “sugar? Have you been having naughty little fantasies about Charmer and I?” Mac swatted her hand away, “r-right! I’m getting on with the fuc…  _ the _ story!” 

_ Even with all her training and experience, Victory never would’ve anticipated him getting back up after taking a bullet to the head. She wondered if she could do the same. It’d be pretty cool if she could, but she didn’t really want to test it out. She kicked herself back on the floor, sliding slightly, and pulled out Deliverer with a shaking hand, firing wildly at the Courser. However, in the end it was one final shot from MacCready that felled him. This time, the bullet went straight through his head, instead of just getting stuck in the side, and he went down with a thud.  _

_ Mac moved over to Victory, and held out a hand to help her up, “sorry for being kinda useless,” she wrapped her arms around his waist, chin on his shoulder, “shut up. You did jus’ fine, sugar.” He raised his hands, before settling them on her back. This felt good, it felt right. “You want that kiss now, snack cake?” Snack cake was a new one. “I mean… Sure. If you want to I-!” She cut him off with a peck on the lips. _

“Snack cake?” “He’s my fancy lad.”

“T-Then we busted K1-, uh,  _ Jenny _ , out, made sure she was safe from the Gunners, and cleared out the rest of them.” Deacon whistled, leaning back in his chair, “killed a Courser and saved a synth to boot, maybe you two should join HQ.” Victory chuckled, before her face turned solemn, “I will say, Bobby lied t’you.” Vanessa frowned, visibly confused, “wait, so you two didn’t kill a Courser?” The synth woman snorted, “oh no, we killed the bastard.  _ But _ , it was more than just a peck.” Deacon rolled his eyes, and Mac felt his ears begin to burn, “a-and that’s the end of the story! Story over! No more!” Vanessa and Victory both giggled, the white haired synth hopping to her feet and pulling the blonde with her, “on that note, girly chat.” 

The two women left Red Rocket, and the walls surrounding it, to sit at the picnic table Vi and MacCready had built. Vanessa stared off at Sanctuary, fiddling with the necklace around her neck, Vi watched her for a moment, “so… Where’d you get the pearls?” She was starting off light and simple, naturally Deacon had told her everything, but she knew Vanessa had a penchant for bolting when she got uncomfortable or overwhelmed. “Oh. They were a gift. From Gage.” Her face softened, she smiled down at the table, before her eyes met the other woman’s, “is  _ Gage  _ the raider you were livin’ with?” She watched Victory for a moment, before nodding, “he found them in a safe. Figured it was time to replace the rings,” a frown tugged at her features, “Victory if Deacon has put you up to convincing me to leave Nuka-World permanently I’m telling you now it won’t work.” 

“Nessa, you’re the most damn charismatic person I ever met. No way I’m convincin’ you of anythin’, sugar,” she lit up a cigarette, “does he hurt ya?” Vanessa twitched, “what? No!” Victory shrugged, “does he keep you safe?” The ex-vault dweller watched the synth closely, Victory stared straight back, “yes. Yes he does,” “well then Deacon ain’t got a leg to stand on and I’m happy for you. At the end of the day Nessa, you’re a big girl, in fact you’re older than me,” she giggled as Vanessa grumbled about her not being much older, “if you’re happy, and he ain’t hurtin’ ya, I’m happy. Deacon said you told him the raider stuff won’t interfere in Railroad business, well then there’s no reason for anyone t’complain is there? Well, except maybe Preston. But we won’t tell him.” Vanessa accepted the cigarette she was offered, watching the ash build up. “So, what were you up to out there?”

The Overboss told Victory about everything that had happened at Nuka World (leaving out Mason, she was pretty sure Deacon didn’t know about that and she didn’t want him to), about how she was being paranoid as shit, and having nightmares. About how she couldn’t really focus and kept almost getting taken down by Gatorclaws once they set out to clear the Safari Zone. About how once that park was given to the Disciples, Gage found her having a complete breakdown in the Fizztop elevator. How he sat with her, despite his aversion to small spaces. About how he left the pearl necklace on her pillow, and grunted that she needed an upgrade from her and her husband’s wedding rings. About how once she woke up in tears yet again, and as he held her tight and gently rubbed her head, they both agreed she needed some time away. To sort out her head, to come back ready to kick ass as the Overboss. She suggested he come with her, he almost did, but with there still being parks to claim, he needed to keep an eye on things at Nuka World (and yes she did make a joke about how he only had one). 

“Sounds like y’all really been through it. What’s next for ya?” Vanessa frowned in thought, and glanced down at her Pip-Boy, flicking through the screens for a moment. “I’m going to head back to the Brotherhood. Hope they don’t kill me on sight and let me have the Power Armor I was promised so I can get out into the Glowing Sea. You?” Victory snickered, and stubbed her cigarette out on the table, before dropping it into the ashtray, “my life is nowhere near as excitin’. Got a group coming in tomorrow, gonna take them out past Sanctuary in about a week. Walk Dogmeat. Oh, and get Robert into my pants. That’s all I’ve got planned.” She said it so casually, and Vanessa squealed, eyebrows raising, “Victory!” The synth grinned, “what? He’s a cutie pie , I can’t help myself. I already told ya, would’ve gone minuteman for that hottie. Poor Robert’s lucky I ain’t jumped his bones yet.” Vanessa smirked, finishing her cigarette, “I don’t think he’d complain.” Victory looked up sharply, her brows arching so high Vanessa thought they might fall off, “really?”

Although there was a pang of jealousy bubbling in her heart, Vanessa buried it back down, it wasn’t fair of her to feel that way. She’d had her chance with the young mercenary, and she’d thrown it away to run across the wasteland with Deacon, and then Gage. If she could set her two friends up together, they’d be happy. Mac’s happiness would be enough for her. 

“Of course. Look at you Victory, you’re stunning.” Victory snickered at her friend, “are you hittin’ on me Charmer?” Vanessa tossed her head back with a laugh, “oh you couldn’t handle me, kiddo,” the synth gasped, and followed Vanessa as she headed back towards Red Rocket, “I could too!” “Could not.” “Could too!” “Could not!” Deacon was waiting outside smoking a cigarette. He flicked it to the ground the minute he spotted them and stomped it out, “mature as always, ladies.” Victory looked between the two, “ah reckon I’ll you two to chatter, I gotta uh, go talk to Robert about summat.” She disappeared inside the truck stop. About 10 seconds later she stuck her head back round the door, “and Deacon, you’re a fine one t’talk about maturity.” She disappeared again. 

“So… You kept your face.” Deacon looked over at her, puzzled, “ah, yeah, didn’t want you to beat the shit out of me the next time you catch me following you,” “creepy.” After a few moments of heavy silence, Deacon opened his mouth to say something stupid. Vanessa must’ve read his mind, and clapped a hand over his mouth. “I’m sorry. Deacon. For everything. I’ve been awful to you and I… I… fuck. I’m just sorry.” The spy looked at her, his face softening, her eyes were rapidly welling up and he gently rested his hands on her waist, before pulling her in for a hug, palms now flat against her back. Her hand was still pressed to his mouth, but she let him hold her, burying her face in the crook of his neck as she silently wept. 

Deacon simply held onto her. Vanessa’s hand eventually slipped away from his mouth to grab at his shirt, his shoulder wet with tears, her hair shining in the moonlight. She eventually pulled away, and Deacon moved to gently push what little hair she had behind her ear, “you’ve cut it shorter.” “Taking back a little control.” Their proximity to one another made Deacon struggle to breathe. He wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell her about that night. That it was real. Remind her what they had. Maybe he’d have some chance to pull her back. 

But he’d risk pushing her away further. He’d risk losing what little, complex relationship they had. “Penny for your thoughts?” He hummed and looked back down at her eyes, “you’re drop dead gorgeous.” He watched one of her eyebrows quirk, and the corners of her mouth twitched, “liar,” she hissed. “No. I’m not lying, I do genuinely think you’re gorgeous.” She snorted and shoved him playfully, “oh I  _ know  _ I am, but that wasn’t what was going on in your head, was it?” He hummed again, running his fingers through her hair, applying pressure along her temples the way he knew she liked it. “A conversation for another day, Charms.” She mumbled something, eyes closed as she relaxed beneath his touch. “What was that, Charms?” She huffed delicately and backed up against the wall. He went with her, knee bent to get some semblance of personal space between the two. “I thought we agreed no more secrets.” Deacon tutted, massaging her temples. She moaned delicately, the tension in her shoulders vanishing. “Still got a list of secrets I need to tell you. But I’m working on it.” She mumbled again, leaning forward to rest her head against his chest. Keeping distance was now impossible, as he had her virtually pinned against the wall, one leg between hers. 

They stayed that way for a while, he continued to pet her and she continued to cling to him like a chem addict to a box of mentats (Hancock). That was until he heard her make a humming noise (think the sound a cat makes when you wake it up), “you alright, Charms?” She pulled away and looked up at him through half lidded eyes, “sleepy,” “shall we get you to bed?” She nodded, looking up at him with the dopey loving expression he thought she reserved for the raider. He couldn’t blame her for being tired, she’d hopped on the tram at the station last night, and had walked straight to Red Rocket without stopping to rest. She was a little roughed you when she arrived, but he’d seen her much worse for wear, and Mac had done enough grumpy fussing for the both of them. 

“You can sleep in the bed in the old office, don’t worry, I haven’t peed on it.” She giggled and said something that sounded like “liar”. Deacon pushed open the door to the garage to let Victory and MacCready know he was putting Vanessa to bed in there, and he would be heading out to the guest house. However, the two were obviously… Distracted. At the sound of the door opening, Victory leapt out of her skin, rapidly sliding to the other side of the couch, smoothing her hair. Mac just looked a little confused as he moved to tuck his shirt in. “Ooh, are you two cracking on?” “Charms. Sorry for disturbing you both, taking this one to bed.” Victory saw her chance to take the attention away from her and MacCready, “sounds like  _ you two  _ are cracking on!” Deacon feigned being shot through the heart gripping his chest, whilst Vanessa cackled, clinging to his arm to hold herself up. “You wound me, Vi, you know I’m married to the job,” “don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” The vault-dweller sang beside him, Mac grumbled, “that doesn’t leave much…” Vanessa opened her mouth to object, but Deacon was already moving her away.

He sat her down on the bed, “Deacon I can’t sleep in this,” he sighed, but nodded, and opened the door, “alright, hang on, I’ll go get your bag.” When Deacon returned, Vanessa was standing in her underwear, one of the bedsheets wrapped loosely around her in a rather ladylike manner. She obviously didn’t recall he’d already seen her in less dress than this. He turned to grab his stuff and leave. She settled on just pulling on an old t-shirt to cover her ass, and threw her bra into her bag. “Deacon?” He was just out of the door when he heard his name, low and soft in the darkness. He turned to face her, “Charmer?” she shivered at his tone, “...stay?” He’d planned to say no. He needed to just say no. Politely say no and leave. “ _ Please _ .”

But she was begging. And she sounded softer than she usually did, and there was a wavering edge to her voice. He knew she got nightmares, but he could imagine they’d probably gotten worse. And it couldn’t hurt. He  _ had  _ been longing to hold her again. 

Deacon let out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding, and dropped his bag on the floor, pushing the door shut behind him. “Alright Charms. You’ve twisted my arm.” In the darkness he could see a glimmer of a smile on her face. He tugged his shirt off over his head, “I hadn’t realised we were getting nude,” he dropped it on the floor, “hush.” She grabbed his wrist gingerly once he sat on the bed, “thank you. Dee. Really,” he sighed, she shouldn’t be thanking him. Doing this was incredibly selfish of him. He was doing it for himself as much as (if not more than) he was for her. “Ah, no need to thank me Charms. What are partners in crime for?” He felt her lean against his side, her lips brushing his bare shoulder. He barely stopped himself from shivering, “you don’t know what you do to me, Charmer.” She hummed against his neck, lips dancing across his collar, “I’ve heard that somewhere before.” He froze. He knew exactly where she’d heard that. “Alright, that’s enough teasing. Sleep now.” He slid down the bed, she “eep!”-ed, and slid with him, before resting her head on his chest, laying on her side with one leg draped over him. 

Once her breathing began to slow, he slid his sunglasses off his face, he knew he always awoke before she did but even so, the thought of even her worming her way through the cracks in the walls he’d desperately put up, made his skin crawl. He wrapped one arm around her shoulders, his other resting on her thigh, “sleep well, Charms.” 


	17. Mother

Sliding delicate, slender hands along her tummy, Vanessa peered at herself in the mirror she’d set up in the shack at the old Boston airport. Deacon was leant against the wall, pretending not to watch her, his head turned in the direction of their two sets of power armor. One the restored set found on the roof of the museum of freedom, one a new shiny Brotherhood Knight set. 

She pulled the back of her uniform, scowling at herself. “Deacon. Am I getting fat?” He turned his head in her direction, even though his eyes were already on her. Deacon didn’t think she could ever be fat. However, she wasn’t as flat tummied as she had been when he first saw her emerge from the vault. It was curious, as in her first few months out of the vault, most meals made her sick. Likely the radiation. “Yeah. You’re as big as a brahmin,” she let out a strangled gasp and jerked her head in his direction, palms pressed flat against her stomach, “oh Charms don’t be an idiot. Of course you’re not fat.” 

She muttered an insult under her breath and turned back to look at herself, her face softening. “A-And next u-up we have, uh, we have… Uh… Cam… Camilla Everly! With her r-rendition of… Mad About the Boy! W-What’s she mad about? The uh… the boy of course!” The pip-boy radio was immediately switched off.

“Everly, are you sure you want to do this? Once you’re in there, we won’t be able to make contact with you, we also won’t be able to track any signal grenades.” 

The sun was just rising over the Prydwen, the glare off all the metal was annoying, and the power armor helmet wasn’t doing much to help. Vanessa yanked it off and tucked it under her arm, squinting at Paladin Danse and Elder Maxson. Deacon was standing behind her, wearing a Brotherhood jumpsuit beneath her repaired old set of power armor. She didn’t know where he got the jumpsuit, in all honesty she didn’t want to know where he got any of his disguises from.

Deacon had been with her since they’d left Red Rocket. He’d stuck with her and Danse whilst they did menial jobs for the Brotherhood (assisting research patrols, wiping out super mutants and the like), they’d only parted ways for Deacon to pick up her old power armor from Sanctuary. He’d agreed to go out to the Glowing Sea with her. He was the only person who she trusted to have her back in an environment like that, and he was stealthy. Vanessa didn’t want to be picking fights out there. She wanted to be in and out as quickly as possible.

“I don’t have much choice. It’s my only lead on the Institute and my son.” Maxson had yet to say anything. Danse had done the talking, explaining the risks even though she’d heard them all before, the Elder just stared off out at the horizon. “I trust you will share any information you have with us. You are, of course, using our resources for this venture, Knight.” Vanessa blinked at the young elder, taking a second to glance back at Deacon. He was wearing his helmet, but, even if he wasn’t, he had a better poker face than she did. “Anything I find necessary to share with the Brotherhood, I will,  _ Elder. _ ” 

Although it wasn’t necessarily what he wanted to hear, he seemed satisfied, and nodded, turning his back to her again. Danse shuffled uncomfortably. Vanessa almost joked about how he was feeling awkward primarily because he was out of his armor, and made her way onto the Vertibird. “Be careful, Everly.” She glanced back at the Paladin, and grinned, tossing her helmet up and catching it like he did when they went to Arc Jet. Vanessa caught the glint of a smile on his face, and put the helmet on, “oh Danse, I’m  _ always  _ careful.” 

The engine and blades of the vertibird were making excessive noise. She thought he shouted something along the lines of calling her a liar, but the sound was drowned out. She waved to him, before taking a seat at the minigun. 

Deacon found himself sitting beside her, clinging to the chair for dear life, her helmet in his lap (she claimed she couldn’t breathe in it). She wasn’t shooting, more using the minigun as a surface to lean on. The wind howled, the sun was even brighter when you were so high in the sky and Deacon quite quickly realised - he had a serious fear of heights. 

“So… Are  _ you  _ Camilla Everly?” He knew she wasn’t. In fact he knew who Camilla Everly was. He’d found enough newspaper clippings and old records on terminals to know. “Excuse me?” She rested the side of her face on her forearm, looking over at him. He still wasn’t used to seeing her with short hair, the curls cropped off just below her ear. He knew it bothered her, but last he tried to speak to her about it, she remarked that at least she didn’t have to put her hair up anymore. 

Deacon also remarked to himself that she looked even more otherworldly in natural sunlight (most of their railroad missions took place at night). Her hair was still so  _ alive,  _ even after months of washing it in the same irradiated water as everyone else. It reminded him of a story he read once about a woman who turned straw to gold. It was the same with her eyes, he’d always just seen them as grey, but when the light hit them just so, he noticed they were actually blue, and even had a ring of gold around the pupil. Her skin was clear too, and the reminder that she wasn’t of this time hit him hard. 

“Well, she doesn’t really sound much like you, but then again I’ve never heard you sing properly,” he paused for a moment, choosing his words carefully, “same surname. Both pre-war,” he frowned slightly from behind his glasses, “well I presume  _ she _ is. Was. Magnolia never mentions competition.” Vanessa hummed something about not knowing he was acquaintances with Magnolia, and turned her face back out of the side of the ‘bird.

“Mila is-... Hmph,  _ was,  _ my sister. Younger sister. Although you wouldn’t believe there were five years between us, Mother and Father let her get facial surgery and it made her look older.” Deacon blinked, his mouth twitching slightly, “you sound bitter.” Vanessa cackled and turned back to face him, “bitter of what? I had a better career, I wasn’t betrothed to a conspiracy theorist-... I mean, Nathaniel was no saint but the Cabot’s were always  _ strange. _ ” She paused, resting her chin on her hands and her elbows on the minigun. “I am possibly bitter about how our parents loved her the most. We had a brother too, to be fair they liked him more than me. Charles. He was a sweetheart, was friends with Nathan and they were in the same army… group. Whatever it’s called. Our parents hated that I used my acting lessons to become… Well mother repeatedly called me a sex worker but, well Diana, who survived the nukes in a vault and who is long dead? Yeah, that’s what I thought.” 

“I’m sorry for bringing it up, Charms.” She glanced over her shoulder at him, “oh darling, don’t be. It’s good to vent about these things. Besides, we’ve,” she narrowed her eyes at the back of the pilot’s head, “ _ been working  _ together for some time now. It’s only right you should know things about me.” Deacon hummed, reminded quite suddenly of how little he had told her of himself. 

And that was when Vanessa found out about Barbara. 

The air was thick and cloying, even as they stood on the edge of the Glowing Sea. But now, surrounded by it, even the rebreather on Vanessa’s helmet was doing very little to help the ache she felt deep within her. It was like a blanket of green smog had lain over part of the wasteland, and the sudden and unpredictable crashes of thunder as a radstorm rolled through did little to ease her nerves. 

Deacon had most of his attention on the ex-vault dweller since the radscorpion attack. It was about half an hour into their journey and they had been startled by the creatures bursting from the ground. They were bigger and angrier than regular wasteland variants, and one even glowed, but the two didn’t have excessive trouble dispatching them. What he was worried about, however, was the puncture through the chest cavity of her armor. Vanessa was adamant that she was fine, and had assured him the damage was to the suit only, that the stinger hadn’t made contact with her. The radiation leaking into her body would be slow if she wasn’t wounded, but Deacon dreaded to think of her cooking inside the power armor. 

His worries got worse the further they got into the Sea, as Vanessa began to slow down a little, complaining about the heat within her suit and her suffering with nausea. It was clear she was beginning to experience radiation poisoning, and at a much quicker rate than he had anticipated. It became apparent that she had lied about being wounded, although luckily, it was clear she hadn’t been poisoned. She would’ve been downed long before now. 

“Charmer, how bad is it?” Vanessa glanced at the flashing health warnings on her HUD, and grimaced, turning her attention back to the compass. “Nothing I can't deal with. There are passive life signs inside the crater, so that’s where I’m taking us.” Deacon sighed, stretching his arms and legs inside the suit, “Charms, maybe we should find somewhere inside, get you some RadAway and a Stim. Have you been poisoned?” She shook her head and reloaded the laser rifle, watching the empty fusion cells clatter to the ground. “We need to keep moving. Last thing I want is another Kellogg situation, where I have to chase this guy across the wasteland because we’ve just missed him.” Deacon placed a hand on her shoulder, she couldn’t feel it but it was comforting, “Charms we’ll get your son back,” “He’s already way older than I expected. I can’t afford to lose any more time. I don’t know the average lifespan in the wasteland but I’m not getting any younger.” 

Deacon easily worked out what her expected lifespan should be. He didn’t tell her.

The Children of Atom inside the crater were friendlier than the small packs of them Vanessa had come across in the Commonwealth. However they were not keen on helping them. Deacon had offered them help with something in exchange, but Mother Isolde had told them they had everything they needed. Charmer was charismatic, her codename was well founded, and he expected her to talk them down.

A well placed threat later and the pair were headed out to a cave further west. Vanessa didn’t understand  _ Atom’s Gift _ but she was even more curious of how Virgil stayed alive out there. From what she knew of the Institute, they were as protected from radiation as vault dwellers were. Meaning they wouldn’t have a significant resistance.

She never would’ve expected him to be a super mutant. “Hold it! Take it nice and slow, no sudden moves…” Vanessa froze, moving only to rest her hands on the sides of her helmet. “I know you're from the Institute, so where's Kellogg? Huh? Trying to sneak up on me while you distract me? It's not going to work!” She stayed still for a moment, before slowly tugging her helmet from her head, immediately sucking in a deep breath. Her hair was tucked behind her ears, although due to its length, it kept tumbling forward. 

“I’m just here to talk.” Virgil narrowed his eyes at her, the Institute rifle still pointed at them. Deacon was a little on edge, and the last thing he wanted would be to have drag his partner back to HQ. “That so? Then talk fast.” Vanessa was beginning to crack beneath the pressure the day had brought. She begged the mutant for his help, and he seemed genuinely upset when she mentioned they had taken her son. 

They agreed he would help her get into the Institute, if she found the serum he needed (being violently sick in the middle of their conversation made negotiations difficult). “You’ll have to kill a Courser. I don’t know where you can find one, but that Pip-Boy of yours will be able to pick up their signal.” Deacon asked if she was scared to face one, Vanessa surmised she was too stupid to, and even so, she had an idea of where they could find a Courser Chip.

“I can’t believe he was a super mutant.” Deacon said as he walked side by side with the ex-vault dweller. Vanessa turned her face up to the sky, wearing her helmet once again. The Sea was murky, and barely any natural light got through the thick haze that blanketed them, therefore she had no idea whether it was day or night, and she couldn’t consult her pip-boy to answer that question. “I figured there had to be something going on for him to survive long term out here, but I didn’t even consider…  _ that. _ Turning yourself into one… I can’t even imagine.” 

To become something that is yourself but still so inhuman was Vanessa’s biggest fear when she was thrust into the wasteland. That was before she was aware of ghouls and mutants. But now, with her HUD flashing serious warnings of her radiation levels, and just how physically ill she felt, she worried she’d be facing this fear in a whole new light.  _ Ghoulification.  _

She’d never seen a ghoul in the Railroad, but if they were on board with synths they must be okay with ghouls. And what about Nuka World? And Gage? How would he feel about her becoming a ghoul? Would he stick by her? She highly doubted it. She wasn’t sure if even Deacon would stick by her. She imagined she’d end up slinking back to Goodneighbour, tail between her legs, back to Hancock. The only person she knew who wouldn’t recoil away from her once her flesh melted away and her hair fell out. She hoped he wouldn’t at least. 

“Charmer what’s going on? You’re all over the place.” Vanessa had taken longer to react to a ghoul attack than usual, and they’d managed to startle her into dropping her gun. Naturally, Deacon put them down within seconds, but he was more worried for his partner than before. In truth, Vanessa’s rapidly spiralling thoughts about becoming a ghoul, combined with her seeing one, had knocked her off guard. She took a moment to reply, before her sigh was heard audibly even through the distorted crackle the helmet gave out. “I think I’m sick.” Her stomach was cramping (which combined with the nausea was unbearable), and she was starting to get sweaty. 

“Yeah, I thought so. We should’ve gotten you some RadAway in Virgil’s cave,” he had scolded her, “but that’s too late now. We’re not far from the edge, let’s get out of here, the doctors on that great big rocket ship should be able to flush your system. The spacemen do have some perks. Main one being that ship is pretty clean. No infection from dirty RadAway needles.” He was trying to perk her up a little, rambling pointlessly was a side effect of him being nervous. 

The rest of their journey was simple, mostly. The only enemy they actually fought was a group of Bloatflies (that Vanessa dispatched with worse accuracy than normal), Deacon did however, have to pull her out of the line of sight of a glowing Deathclaw. An action that was much more difficult when they were both in power armor. 

Once they made it out of the thick, Deacon immediately opened one of the compartments of her armor, and took out a signal grenade, tossing it a few feet away from them. “Wanna… get out…” He shook his head, pulling her helmet off as well as his own. She wasn’t looking great. Her hair was sticking to her face with her sweat, and she was paler than normal, her eyes ringed with dark circles. The bright red of her lipstick contrasted awfully with the sickly yellow tinge to her skin, and only made her look worse. “We’re still close to the Sea, Charms. Shouldn’t have even taken our helmets off. We’ll get you out of your armor the minute we’re back on that airship.” 

She continued to whimper, and Deacon was focused on keeping her from sitting or laying down, primarily because he worried he wouldn’t be able to get her back up. “Dee… really… don’t feel… good.” He winced, she didn’t look good either, “I know, Charms. Not long now, look, I can see the vertibird.” She followed his gaze to where he was pointing, and nodded slowly, letting out a deep breath through her nose. “Thank… you,” “you’re welcome Charms.” Vanessa scowled at him for interrupting. “...for everything. I’ve… not been… great,” “you’ve been perfect, Charmer. Best partner I’ve ever had.” He watched as she smiled, it lit up her eyes for a moment before curling into a grimace as another wave of nausea hit, “only…” He snickered, “yeah,  _ only _ partner I've ever had. You’re still the best.” She laughed, it falling into a breathy wheeze, “flattered.” 

Deacon brushed off the pilot’s questions as he helped her up onto the ‘bird, Vanessa grunted that she was okay. Despite the fact she clearly wasn’t. He braced her against the turret, she clung to it like her life depended on it. It probably did. She spent half of the journey unconscious, leading the spy to have to check she was still breathing regularly. It had worried him, but at least she’d hopefully regain some of her strength. 

She was thankfully awake by the time they docked back on the Prydwen. Paladin Danse was standing, out of power armor, arms folded on the deck. He looked concerned. Understandable, the pilot had briefly mentioned her condition over the comms network before landing. “Deacon.” “Danse.” She weakly laughed as the two helped her off the ‘bird, murmuring “Vanessa!”, in response. 

“What happened to her?” Danse hissed, helping her out of her power armor in his quarters. “I’m… not deaf.” “Radscorpion punctured her armor, radiation got in.” Danse scoffed, catching her as she tumbled backwards out of the armor, “and you didn’t think to administer RadAway?” “Not… deaf. And…  _ fuck,  _ right here.” Deacon was leaning against the door, scowling from beneath his sunglasses, “I would’ve had to get her out of her armor to do so. It would’ve defeated the point.” 

Both of them were surprised to hear Danse swear as he intentionally tore part of her Brotherhood uniform around her wound. “We’re going to have to get you in with Cade, Vanessa. This isn’t good.” Deacon moved over to have a look. The area immediately around the puncture wound was almost black in coloration. The skin around it was red and angry, and then a darker yellow than her face was. “Y’know… makes my heart melt… when you guys… say my name,” she sucked in a breath as Deacon gingerly poked the wound, “instead… of boss… or soldier or… ouch! Whatever…” Deacon didn’t think he’d ever seen anything like it, “is it just the radiation? Vanessa, you told me you hadn’t been poisoned.” She put the back of her hand to her head and sighed, “swoon…” Danse had asked if she was always like this, or if it was just around him. Deacon had sighed, “pretty much,” and they took her in to see Cade. 

The Knight-Captain had shooed the two out of the room, explaining that although it just appeared to be radiation poisoning infecting the wound, he’d need space to work as he needed to cut away the dying flesh. And she’d likely want privacy. Thankfully, most of the soldiers on the airship were out still, so they’d be primarily undisturbed. He’d stated that he’d fix up the wound and then run some tests. 

Both Deacon and Danse were nervous about the situation, and part of Deacon felt incredibly guilty. It only got worse when the screaming began. Cade had started without using Med-X, he was already aware of her pre-war reliance on Calmex, and didn’t want to indulge in it. It continued for minutes, before it became necessary to give her the painkiller. 

Danse wasn’t much for conversation at the best of times, especially not with Deacon (he didn’t trust him), but he tried his best in this moment, as the other man was sitting on the ground with his hands pressed over his face. 

“Ahem… So uh… How was your day?” Deacon chuckled into his palms, before turning his face in the direction of the other man, “Danse, my day was shit. Clearly.” He gestured in the direction of the vault dweller, who had quite suddenly stopped crying out. Danse cleared his throat again, “yeah, I uh… Sorry.” The soldier shuffled awkwardly, before sitting down on the floor next to Deacon, looking over at him. “She’s lucky to have you. You’re a, uh, you’re a good friend.” Deacon smiled slightly, pushing his glasses up his nose, “so are you, tin man.”

“Hail Paladin.” Danse quickly got to his feet, Deacon followed suit. “Is she alright?” “She will be.” There was a moment of silence, Cade studied his clipboard for a moment, and then cleared his throat. “Which of you is her partner?” Deacon snorted suddenly, “what?” Even Danse seemed startled. “I know fraternisation is typically frowned upon, however given the circumstances I feel there is no need to take action. Besides, I don’t even think you’re actually an initiate.” The two men exchanged a glance and Cade sighed, beckoning for them to follow him into the medical bay. 

The colour had mostly returned to her face, she was sat up on the bed, a drip with RadAway hooked up to her arm. She was fiddling with her hair, eyebrows drawn together, staring down at her lap. In all, she looked better, but still not great. Her brotherhood jumpsuit was pulled down to below her waist, and there were bandages wrapped around her middle, below the sports bra she was wearing. “Hey… Charms.” She looked up and smiled weakly, pushing her fingers through her hair, “hello you t-two, how are… we all doing, today?” Vanessa looked around the room, the two just looked confused. She arched an eyebrow, “what’s going on? A-are you… gonna tell me I’m dying or something?” It was a poor attempt at a joke, but the way her eyebrows twitched showed clear worry it could be true. 

“Knight. I’m incredibly sorry to tell you this but… You’ve miscarried.” 

Vanessa flinched, her hands sliding down to her belly. Her breath hitched as she fell into nervous giggles, “is… Is this some kind of joke? I wasn’t pregnant. How… How. How could I have been pregnant? Was… Was it from before? It must’ve been. Cryostasis can’t be good for an unborn baby.” She’d begun rambling, tears threatening to spill out over her cheeks. Danse was shocked. He reached out a hand towards her, unaware of how to comfort her. It was usually Deacon’s forte, cheering her up, however his reaction had been the most unexpected. 

He was frozen in place, glasses slid halfway down his nose. “Everly you weren’t far enough along for the foetus to have been pre-war. You are correct, cryostasis would’ve had a negative effect, but we would’ve seen those effects much sooner.” Deacon clapped a hand over his mouth, bracing himself against the wall. Vanessa tensed, staring down at her lap, as tears began to stream down her flushed cheeks. “Can’t catch a break…”


	18. Dreamer

It was a warm day, the sun was beating down on Red Rocket and it was almost forgettable that they were living in an irradiated wasteland. It was peaceful. The only sound was the quiet music emanating from a radio, and the wind rustling through the mutfruit trees. 

The last few weeks had been mentally and physically taxing on the woman who had once been a small time actress and mother. But it was the loss of the child she didn’t even know she had that finally made her snap. 

It had taken Victory two days to get her to leave the back room, and since then, Vanessa had done nothing but bask in the sunlight like a mojave fire gecko. She hadn’t much spoken to MacCready or the synth, and she’d barely acknowledged Deacon. She wandered aimlessly around the settlement, like a ghost, or a wild animal without a home. Occasionally she would play a game on her Pip-Boy, or flick through an old magazine, but other than that, she just seemed to sit around. Empty. 

MacCready was the only one who hadn’t outright spoken to her beyond attempted small-talk, and it was today that Victory made him. The synth woman gave him a sad look, and a gentle push, and he gave in.

She was sitting on an old sun lounger, wearing a bodysuit, her sunglasses and an oversized hat. She had her knees pulled right in against her chest, resting her chin on an arm, staring off into the distance. He put down a bottle of beer on the patio table besides her, and sat on the other sun lounger. Vanessa didn’t react to his presence, and for a few moments he didn’t give her reason to. 

Pulling off his hat and discarding it onto the table, he ran a hand through his hair, sighing, “hey, Ness.” He lit up a cigarette and offered it to her. For the first time in days she looked at him, taking it with what looked like a glimmer of a smile, “it’s nice out, huh? I don’t blame you for soaking up the sun the last few days. But I am wondering how you’re still so pale.” He reached over and poked her thigh, grinning childishly at her, “I mean, you’re literally the colour of brahmin milk,” he swore her heard her snort, “yeah, well you look like one?” “A brahmin? I don’t know, boss, I’m a pretty handsome brahmin then.” That time he was certain he heard what sounded like a laugh. 

“If they held beauty pageants for brahmin you’d still lose, RJ.” He watched as she brought the cigarette to her lips. She wasn’t wearing lipstick. “Oh and I suppose you’re an expert?” Vanessa scoffed, “on beauty pageants? Of course.” “Ah yes, I forgot you’re champion Miss Beautiful Brahmin 2287.” She took a deep drag from her cigarette, letting the smoke out of her nose, “and 2087,” “damn you’re old.” She laughed for real that time, tilting her head back, a hand pressed to her chest. Mac’s chest swelled a little, both proud that  _ he  _ was the one to cheer her up, and happy that she was smiling. “Are you ready to talk about it?” 

Following her subsequent meltdown on the Prydwen, Cade had signed her off for “mental health reasons”, claiming she needed a break. Danse had agreed, and had personally seen to getting them back to Red Rocket. He’d even stayed the first night, but it made Victory particularly nervous, and he’d eventually returned to the Prydwen. 

“I was pregnant.” RJ already knew this, Deacon had obviously explained the situation loosely to the two when they’d arrived. “Deacon is… Deacon was the father.” Her hands were resting on her tummy again. Mac flinched. He obviously hadn’t told him that. It explained why Deacon seemed so affected by it all. “Sh...Shoot, Ness. I didn’t realise you two were… You know…” “We’re not.” She sucked in a breath, gently rubbing circles on her tummy. She was being honest. Which meant she had to tell him everything. “After… We kissed. Outside the Third Rail. I… I guess I spiralled? I had to get you out of my head and naturally I did what I do best. I got incredibly drunk. Ended up taking a stranger back to the Rexford. I didn’t really remember any of it the next day, and what I did recall I assumed was a dream. Deacon never told me it was real.” 

MacCready opened the bottle of beer he’d brought over, and followed her gaze up to the sky. The clouds were thin, and fluffy. They looked like the drawings he’d seen in old comic books. It was peaceful. He understood why she’d spent the last few days just watching the sky. “Want me to punch him? I can punch him.” He couldn’t help but feel partially responsible. If he had refused to leave her company, if he had stayed with her that night, none of this would’ve happened. 

Or maybe it would’ve still happened. But he would’ve taken the Railroad agent’s place. 

“After Shaun… I never thought I’d have a child again. Never planned to. Always wanted to. But after Shaun was taken I thought I would never deserve to have another, and now I know I don’t.” Her steely calm broke, and it was like a dam had burst as tears suddenly began to roll down her cheeks. “I don’t think I’ll ever even get Shaun back. I’ve lost another baby.” RJ shuffled nervously, before getting up, and sitting on the sun lounger besides her, pulling her into his chest. “Come on, Ness. Don’t cry.” He sloppily tried to soothe her by stroking her head in the same manner she had when he broke down in Med-Tec. 

“When Duncan got ill I thought that was it. I thought my family was gone. But things got better. And I know, that even if you  _ don’t  _ find Shaun, and I’m sure as sh-  _ heck _ , that you will, you’ll have a family again someday.” Clumsily rocking her against his chest, he waited for her sobbing to slow before releasing her from his arms. “I know I’d normally ask you for advice with shi…  _ Stuff  _ like this. But this time I’m going to tell  _ you _ what to do. So listen to me for a change” She sniffled once, rubbing her face with both hands. “You’re not the only one who lost a baby, Ness. If I had realised Deacon was… Well I would’ve spoken to him about it. Now you’ve got to, okay? I’ve never seen him smoke so much or go so long without saying something stupid, it’s making me uncomfortable.” 

She glanced over her shoulder at Deacon. He was working on the crops. She watched as something seemingly frustrated him and he slumped on the ground. Vanessa had been selfish throughout this whole thing. MacCready was  _ right,  _ Deacon had lost the baby too. They would’ve been his child and she hadn’t even spoken to him besides screaming in the Med Bay at him for not telling her. She turned her attention to her hands in her lap, staring at her palms that were beginning to callous from weapon use. She opened her mouth to speak, “no. Go talk to him,” “but-!” His tone changed, it reminded Vanessa that he was a father, and probably a very good one, “Vanessa. Go talk to him.” 

As she got up and walked off, Victory came over and sat next to Mac, leaning against his side. He wrapped an arm around the synth woman’s shoulders. “Thank you for talkin’ to her Bobby. Y’did good.” She nuzzled lightly into him, and he turned his head, lips brushing her forehead, “mm, you owe me. I had to use the dad voice on her. She  _ did  _ listen to me more than I expected though.” Victory watched as the other woman shyly moved over to Deacon, swinging her arms nervously. “You’re a good papa, sugar. Can’t wait to meet Duncan,” she sighed and frowned, “what did Charmer say?” He furrowed his brow, “she’s worried she’ll never have another family. Worried she’ll never have kids and… stuff.” Victory’s shoulders dropped, and she chewed her lip, “well maybe I shoulda spoken to her then. I know how tha’ feels.” MacCready gave her a puzzled look, “synth,” she patted her tummy, “can’t have children.” He looked at Vanessa and Deacon, before looking back at Victory, “well... Duncan is in the market for a mother.” 

“Deacon…” He felt her hand rest on his shoulder, and turned his head vaguely in her direction. “Deacon I’m so sorry.” It was the most she’d said to him since they’d arrived. And it was enough that he was trembling. He wrapped his arms around her waist, face against her stomach, she smiled sadly and looped her arms around his neck, gingerly caressing the back of his head. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t thinking about how this would affect you. I was selfish, and I was cold and I shouldn’t have behaved in such a manner, it was improper and uncouth.” Deacon sighed, and lightly pushed her away, getting to his feet, “shut up Charms. You’re fine. It’s all fine.” Her shoulders dropped dejectedly and she nodded, “alright.” 

  
  


Vanessa had a bit more life in her by the time the evening came around. She was in the kitchen, finally cooking again. For the first time in days she’d eat something other than  _ Fancy Lads Snack Cakes _ and tins of  _ Pork N’ Beans _ . Victory had killed a Radstag and brought back its meat when she’d taken a synth to the border earlier on in the day, so they were having roasted venison stew with some of the veggies they were growing in the settlement. 

She was singing along to the radio and trying to teach Mac to prepare vegetables when Victory came in to see what was going on.

“Jesus RJ. You’re going to hurt yourself holding the knife like that.” He rolled his eyes, grinning at Victory who was watching with a smile. “Ness some of us are smart and use guns instead of swords, so we don’t know proper knife etiquette- ow!” Vanessa swore and grabbed his hand, gently squeezing his finger where he’d cut himself, “told you so.” “Very mature.” Victory poured some water onto some cloth and handed it to the pre-war woman. Vanessa held his hand tightly and dabbed at it delicately, “honestly, you’ll never make a good housewife RJ.” He grumbled something like “you won’t either” and she clipped him around the ear with a frown, scolding him. 

“Where’s Deacon?” Vanessa had returned to cooking, sliding the poorly chopped carrots into the pot. “He’s checkin’ the perimeter,” “he’s avoiding me isn’t he?” Mac and Victory exchanged a glance, “now, I don’t think he’s avoidin’ ya, Charmer. Think he’s just processin’ this all in his own way, y’know?” 

Vanessa picked up a bottle of vodka, taking a swig, before pouring some in. She did the same with a bottle of wine, although this was more concerning as she drank much more straight from the bottle. Mac swiftly moved over and plucked it from her grasp, grumbling that wine wasn’t easy to get hold of. He ignored her protesting that it was her bottle. “Oh I know  _ exactly _ how he’s processing it. He’s pushing me away so he can bug out and run away with less guilt.” She picked up some tatos and began chopping them with more fervor that usual. “I know Deacon well enough by now. And if that’s how he wants to play it then fuck him.” Using her knife, she slid the tato chunks into the pan to roast them. 

“Vi I’ve got to agree with her. It does seem that’s what he’s doing,” Mac mumbled, sitting on one of the chairs, “I know Deacon’s got his issues, but he isn’t exactly going about this the way I would. And I’m pretty sucky.” “Sugar you’re not sucky.”

They’d all sat around the table outside to eat. The table was set by Victory (she’d put carrot flowers into a bottle of nuka cola), and Dogmeat was laying down under the table, awaiting scraps. 

Victory and Mac were talking to fill the silence, it was mindless chatter. Small talk. How their days were. Who would win in a fight, Hancock or Glory (it was unanimously agreed Glory would, which disappointed Mac). 

As always, Vanessa’s cooking was impeccable. As always, she was unimpressed. There were parts of her higher class life that she probably wouldn’t ever be able to forget. One was gourmet cooking, another was warm baths (even if she had always preferred showers). Victory made a mental note to ask her for the recipe, even though she knew Brahmin would fly before she and Mac would ever be able to pull it off this well. She’d teased him for how he’d failed to assist the pre-war woman in a way that was actually helpful. He’d pointed out that her cooking skills weren’t much better than his. She’d retaliated by saying at least she could cut carrots without amputating a finger. Deacon told them to stop bickering, Vanessa smiled and maturely said: “practise makes perfect!”

After their meal the conversation drifted towards what was next. What lead did Vanessa get from the Glowing Sea? How was she going to find her son? 

“I need to kill a Courser. And get a chip out of its head. So, if you two have any tips that would be great.” “Do you have a way to find one? Vi and I pretty much just stumbled blinding into it.” She nodded, lifting up her Pip-Boy, “this will track a courser signal. If I’m being honest I think it might be broken. It was picking one up earlier but Virgil told us to head into Cambridge.” 

Victory tensed, staring at the Pip-Boy for a moment. “Charmer can you help me with the dishes? I know you cooked an’ all, but Mac always leaves food stuck to ‘em, an’ then I have to find more.” The two collected up the bowls and glasses and went into the kitchen of the truck stop. “Victory? Are you alright?” The synth woman looked around for a moment. 

“Now I think we might’ve killed your Courser.” Vanessa frowned, running the tap for the water to come out clean, “that’s alright, I’m sure another one will pop up soon. PAM should be able to predict when.” Victory shook her head, and pulled Vanessa into the main part of the garage. The big front door was shut (they’d done it to keep the heat in). “I’ve got the chip.” She pulled a key from the pocket of her jeans, and took one of her paintings down from the wall. Behind it was a safe. “Sneaky. I like it.” 

Inside the safe were some bags of caps, a few boxes of varying ammunition, a silver locket and a heavily modified Institute pistol. Victory pulled out a box of 44. caliber bullets. Inside was what Vanessa assumed was a Courser chip. It was stained with old blood. “Victory! You’re brilliant,” she looked down at the chip pressed into her palm, “but how did you know to take it?” “I didn’t.” 

Confused, Vanessa frowned at the taller woman, who was fidgeting with one of the corners of her flannel shirt. “Then how did you… You’re a Courser. Aren’t you?” “ _ Was _ ,” she hissed, “ _ was,  _ a Courser. Not anymore.” This was raising more questions than it was answering. “Seriously, Charmer. Nobody can know. Robbie doesn’t even know. Glory doesn’t even know.  _ Tommy  _ doesn’t-. I…  _ Didn’t _ even know.” “Do you still work with the Institute?” Victory swore, loudly, pinching the bridge of her nose, “God no! Even if I wanted to, that chip is out, they can’t track me and I can’t get back in. Ness seriously, if the Railroad found out… I wasn’t there when the Switchboard fell. Do you  _ know  _ how suspicious that is? Not only that but they’d be mad as all hell that I’ve possibly had a way in and kept it from them.” 

“Alright. I won’t say anything.” “Not even to Deacon?” “Not even to Deacon.” Victory sighed, pressing a hand over her eyes, before pushing the safe shut. “If they ask, you got it from a Courser. Specifically the one we took down. His chip got destroyed in the fight. It all checks out.” Vanessa followed her into the kitchen, chip in hand. “You’ve thought in depth about all this.” Victory scoffed, looking back over her shoulder as she put the cleaned bowls back in the cupboard, “I’m Railroad. Lying is what we do best.” 

*

I have always been a dreamer. Ever since I was a child. When you’ve got a family like mine you quickly discover it’s easier to immerse yourself in a fantasy world rather than to settle with the real one. 

Not only have I always been a dreamer, but I’ve also always been committed to making those dreams a reality. Don’t get me wrong, I grew up privileged. Money, good social standing. But I didn’t grow up happy, and I was determined to change that. 

My first dream was to be an actress, and although I never became a Hollywood superstar, I think I achieved that. Nuka Cola was a household name, and so became Vanessa Everly (or at least the Nuka Girl did). I was successful, even if my Mother did deem my career as being little more than a “Pinup Model” (it wasn’t just that). 

My success brought me into the crosshairs of Vault-Tec. I worked with them and I saved my family from nuclear annihilation. 

I couldn’t save them from what happened after the bombs fell. 

The second dream I had was likely the most childish of them all; I wanted a handsome prince. I know, hilarious. That dream took the form of Nathaniel French; a man who on paper  _ should’ve  _ been the prince charming I longed for. He had money, he was of “good breeding”. A military man with a powerful family, even more powerful than mine. But he didn’t have a heart. The things he did to me, I will never forget. He was by all accounts, not a good man. But, we were arranged to be married, it was beneficial to both our families, and therefore that dream was swept away before I could even mourn its absence.

The third dream is my most selfish. It’s the one I carried from the old world into the new. The dream to have a family. The dream of love. Real love. Not the plastic doll smiles of my family, or the toxic lust of my husband. For a moment, I had that family. 

Nathaniel got better, he wasn’t the perfect husband, not by a longshot, but I could deal with it. And Shaun… Well Shaun was the most perfect baby you’ve ever seen. Beautiful olive skin with the cutest mess of blonde curls. Eyes that are big and soft like mine but the unmistakable brown of his fathers.

And then both were ripped from me. 

It was MacCready who brought that dream back to me. He was in the same situation as me. Lost his partner, would do anything for his son. He wanted a family. And I let myself dream of a quiet life with him. Maybe it could’ve been us living at the Red Rocket, with Shaun and Duncan. But when things changed between us I panicked and I distanced myself. MacCready and I will always be close, and we’ll always love each other, just not in the way we could’ve. 

What do I dream of now? I don’t honestly know. Part of me still longs for a family, but whether that is on the cards is a whole other story. 

Gage asked me why. He asked what was in it for me. I told him the truth, that I wanted to see the world burn. But is that what I dream of? 

Speaking of Gage, what are my feelings on him? Even I am not certain. There’s something there, how could there not be? We have chemistry, there’s certainly an attraction. But could Gage and I even have a relationship? A life together? Am I willing to give into the part of myself who lusts for bloodshed? To become a raider? I know his conquest won’t stop at Nuka World. I know someday he will turn me loose on the Commonwealth, but is that the life I want? 

Am I ready to give up my dreams of a family for a raider? A raider who probably will never love me? 

Why am I thinking all of this? Why am I standing here recording a holotape of my rambling? Excellent question whoever is listening. Today I am to go through that blasted teleporter. Yes, they built it. I’m going to find my son. And I suppose if this all goes horribly wrong, I want the last words the world has of mine to be of some significance. I don’t want it to be some sarcastic comment I throw at Elder Maxson as I sign up for a suicide mission. So here it is, the possible last words of Vanessa Everly. 

I suppose if I survive this, the question I should be asking is which Commonwealth do I want? The one that’s safe? Or the one I rule?


	19. Entwined

“Lone Wanderer log um, I’m not sure. January 14th, 2288. Lone’s Birthday. Yes people are still calling him that. Yes, it’s me, Maple Astor, former resident of Vault 101. It’s been ten years since Lone activated Project Purity, and therefore ten years since I recorded one of these. It was kinda weird doing so without him.

I don’t know what became of Lone. Allegedly he survived Purity, but I fear they may just be ghost stories. The fact he never sought me out even after our disagreement would be upsetting otherwise. He really was never the same after James’ death.

What have I been doing for ten years? Honestly? Nothing exciting. I always thought my first year out of the vault was enough excitement to last a lifetime, but here I am, seeking out another adventure. After all, 26 isn’t that old. I hope.

Butch and I have been living together in Rivet City for a few years now. Everyone else has stayed in the vault, or moved far away from the Capitol Wastes. Butch says that’s what Wally Mack did. We were never really friends but I do hope he found a happy life wherever he was. I think a lot of the residents of Rivet City suspect there is more to our relationship, but in truth, Butch just likes having me around because I remind him of Lone. Despite their rocky beginnings, those two had one of the strongest bonds I’ve ever seen, I don’t think either of them expected to fall in love with one another. Now that’s a fun Lone fact you’ll only hear from me and my holotapes!

I’m getting off topic, hold on… Uh… Oh right! My adventure! 

Obviously I've heard that the pre-war city of Boston is thriving! The Commonwealth, it’s called. When Lone and I first heard about it from Doctor Li, we’d always said we’d go together, in fact you’ve probably heard about it since you’re probably listening to all of these together. Anyway, the first few years after Purity, Butch and I kept planning to go. Why didn’t we? Butch’s mother fell ill. She’s no saint, but she’s all he has. He couldn’t leave her behind. 

Butch frequently makes the trip up to see her. Sometimes I join him, but even after all the good Lone and I did in James’ name, mama and papa still harbour some resentment for me. But fuck them am I right? What good did they ever really do for me? 

Oh by Atom I’m getting off topic again. I can almost hear Lone in my head, barking at me for wasting space on our holotapes. _Wanderer!_ He’d say, _get on with it!_ This is making me miss him all over again. Anyways, uh, oh yeah!

So the other night I was drinking in the Muddy Rudder, when I notice one of the kids hounding a guy. He’s around 18, 19, no older than 20, but you’d honestly think he was in his mid thirties, all moody and hunched over. Terrible posture. Anyway, I go over there, try to get the kid to leave the uh, _older kid_ , alone, I’ve been pretty good with children ever since Lamplight. But I hear the kid is asking him questions about the _Commonwealth._ And I’m like, _well shucks, I’d like to know about the Commonwealth._ So I just started listening in. When the kid gets bored and runs off, I try to ask him some questions myself, but he was far less forthcoming with me.

Eventually he gives in, I’m fairly persistent, which you definitely know if you’ve been listening to these. This man, he’s called Erin, which I always thought was a girl's name. Anyways, Erin tells me he _lives_ in the Commonwealth, specifically, he lives in a big settlement, like Rivet, called _Diamond City._

Now, this Diamond City is apparently built in an old baseball stadium. I know Lone woulda loved to see that. I don’t know if I ever told you, still haven’t been able to bring myself to listen to the old tapes, but we were both on the Vault 101 baseball team. I was a batter, Lone was a catcher. I was better. Hm, could almost hear him protesting that I weren’t for a moment there. 

And folks, you’ll never guess what happened next! Wanderer managed to convince Erin to take her back to the ‘Wealth with him. That’s what they call it out there. Not Boston. The ‘Wealth. Admittedly my convincing involved a lot of caps, but it’s worth it. I couldn’t go it alone. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not useless. I _can_ handle myself! Need I remind you that it was _me_ that saved the Lamplight kids, not him! But... Lone and Butch did a lot of the fighting, but, in my defence, James got Lone a BB gun, so he had more experience than me. Closest thing I had to experience; was being on the Vault sports teams, but you can’t baseball bat _everything_ to death!

So here I am, trusting my life to this random stranger, Erin. But then again, risking my life has become second nature at this point. Life has been boring without it, the most excitement I have is occasionally being an escort up to Megaton. But the majority of jobs that take me outside Rivet City now are just to wipe out raiders or Talon Mercs who get too close. Besides, my biggest issue would be finding my way there, having a Pip-Boy is not much help if you can barely read a map.

I’m going to continue to document my journey, just like old times. So, as always, stay safe out there children, this has been Lone and… Uh… This has been Wanderer.” 

*

Maple crouched down, filling up her canteen with water directly from the lake around the city. Project Purity meant she had very little worries in regards to drinking straight from a water source. Erin had told her purified water wasn’t as common outside of big settlements in the Commonwealth, so she decided to enjoy it whilst it lasted. She had a few extra bottles of _Aqua Pura_ as some had taken to calling it, stashed in her pack. “G’morning Erin. Are you going to be as much of a ray of sunshine as normal?” No response. She smiled brightly and pushed herself to her feet. “Wonderful.” 

She’d already said her goodbyes to everyone. She’d had to wait an hour or so for Erin, and admittedly she could’ve spent that extra time with Butch, or Angela and Belle, or even little Bryan Wilks who wasn’t so little anymore. But, spending more time with everyone would only make leaving harder, and Maple knew that her time in D.C. was over. It was time to move on. 

“A week.” Erin grunted. Maple looked up at her new travelling companion, “a week?” He nodded once, sighing at the puzzled expression on her face. “If we move quickly and only take short breaks when necessary we’ll be able to reach the Commonwealth in a week's time.” Maple feigned a yawn, returning to checking that she had everything she needed in her pack, “what’s the rush? Why don’t we take a nice, relaxed, cross country stroll? Maybe see the hip-and-happening tourist attractions?” “There are no tourist attractions. It’s the wasteland.” 

Oh he was really going to be fun on this trip. 

Honestly, Maple was worried. She had no idea _what_ she was walking into. Admittedly Erin had said the Boston remains had been settled just as well as the Capital was, and she’d heard good things in the past, _and_ he’d _seemed_ fairly civilised. However, she’d heard stories of whole cities of slavers and raiders existing out in the wasteland, and she’d learnt first hand that some slavers could seem pretty civilised. The former vault dweller realised she was overthinking and giving herself unnecessary anxiety. She brushed the thoughts off.

“The route we’re taking is the quickest. We’re avoiding the old city ruins because they’ve usually got huge packs of ferals and other things that will kill you.” He’d begun walking, and the older woman scrambled to catch up with him. “Oh yeah? Kill me. Not you?” Erin nodded, not even looking at her when he spoke. Maple thought it was rude. “Yep. I know how to survive out here. _You_ are a vault dweller.” 

Maple gasped and looked over at him, scowling grumpily. “Excuse me, Mister Erin! I’ve got almost _ten years_ experience on you!” “Really now? See I heard Vault 101 only reopened ten years ago, so you’ve got only 10 years experience. I have 19. But, you can’t be completely useless if you’ve survived this long.” 

*

“Lone Wanderer log; season 2, episode 2. Yes, I’m calling this season 2 now. January 16th, 2288.

Erin and I have been travelling to the Commonwealth for two days now. He told me we would be taking _short breaks when necessary._ Yes, he _really_ sounds like that, it’s amusing, you should hear it kiddos. But uh, he wasn’t joking when he said that. I got barely an hour of sleep yesterday before he started poking me awake. We’ve only stopped now because he wants to cook up some of the mirelurk we just killed so the meat keeps for longer. He clearly has no idea what he’s doing. I’m not going to tell him I know how to cook. He can suffer eating whatever he’s doing to the remains of that poor mirelurk as punishment for not letting me have enough sleep.

I suppose I can understand him wanting to get back so quick. I don’t know if he has family, but he did mention a friend. Uh… Cait, I think her name was. She uh, well I wanna say she punches things for a living. Suffice to say he’s not easy to talk to, but I think if I knew Lone was waiting for me, I wouldn’t want to waste time sleeping either.”

“Are you… Maple are you talking to yourself?” 

“Yes. Well, no. Hey! Don’t point your gun at me! I’m recording a holotape! I’m not crazy! Cato, uh, Lone, and I used to record our adventures when we were kids, even before we left the vault.”

“I thought you knew the Lone Wanderer. That kid that was there the day we met? He mentioned something about it when you came in.” 

“ _Knew him?_ I _am_ the Lone Wanderer. Well, sort of. A fair few of the stories you’ve likely heard are talking about Lone. Cato. James’ son. But a fair few of the stories are mine. It’s barely been ten years and already it’s all blurring together in the minds of the people. A fair few can’t remember whether the Lone Wanderer was a man or a woman. In truth, they were a nineteen year old boy with a BB gun and his sixteen year old girl best friend with a baseball bat. I only just managed to take my GOAT exam.”

“What’s a goat exam?”

“Vault thing. Tells you what job you’re going to have in the vault, also seems to point out your best skill, if mine and Cato’s research is anything to believe. I got manicurist, Energy Weapons. And I’m damn good with my laser rifle and plasma pistol. Lone? Oh he got Jukebox technician. Obviously that one was Repair. And it wasn’t wrong, he could fix right about anything. Except for the relationship with his Dad.

Okay yeah that joke was terrible and in poor taste, I’m sorry.

 _Damn it!_ Erin you made me lose my place!”

“Place?” 

“Yeah! These things don’t have unlimited recording space you know. And now I’ve forgotten what I was saying. Uuuugh!

Sorry for getting frustrated with you.”

“It’s okay?” 

“Thank you. So Erin says- What do you mean am I using your name? Yes of course I’m using your name, I’m talking about you. Stop interrupting, please. Go back to cremating that mirelurk. Hey! You watch your language young man. 

_Erin says_ that we’re headed to the place he lives. Diamond City. I don’t know if _I_ want to live there yet. I’ve gotten used to big settlements but he says that there are a lot of smaller ones popping up across the Commonwealth so maybe I’d like to live somewhere quiet for once.

Apparently the Commonwealth has its own Lone Wanderer. She’s called the Sole Survivor or something equally stupid over the radio, but Erin says her name’s Vanessa. Apparently she was the General of the Minutemen. They’re like… Erin! How do you explain the Minutemen? 

No, I can’t really repeat that. 

Civilian soldiers! That’ll do. They’re civilian soldiers which means they’re everyday folks who decided to stop being pushovers to the monsters of the ‘Wealth. But anyway, apparently this Vanessa woman was the General, so she was like, in charge, but she got mad they kept asking her to help other people when she just wanted to find her baby. I’ve not had children yet, someday I hope to, and I can imagine I wouldn’t want to be saving people if I had a baby taken from me, either. 

But that’s not all, Erin says his friend Piper, who’s like Three Dog but she writes it on paper, Piper says there’s a rumour she went _raider._ Which is crazy right, because the Minutemen are super anti-raider! Erin said she’s not all bad though, apparently she works for… Well some good people. I can’t say much more because I think she could like… Have her life at risk. But apparently the woman Lone and I met years ago wasn’t the only one who wanted to save synths. 

I don’t know much about Synths but apparently the Commonwealth is real scared of them. Especially the ones who look like people. 

All I know is if this _Sole Survivor_ is willing to put her life on the line to save synths, I think that probably cancels out anything she does with the raiders? As long as she’s not hurting children, or mindlessly slaughtering people. Maybe I’ll meet her someday, and get her to record one of these with me. I wonder how similar our stories are. Hey, Erin? Can I meet Vanessa?

He says he doesn’t know. What do you mean you’re not really friends? Ok, well I want to meet her! Thank you!

Oh. That’s my time. Stay safe out there children, this has been Wanderer. Telling you the truth about tales of the wasteland. Signing off.” 

*

“Mac! Get those turrets back online!” 

“Victory you’re out of ammo! You get the turrets back on!”

The synth grinned, slipping on the knuckle dusters she kept in the pocket of her jeans. “I don’t need ammo. Now, Robbie, go! Ah ain’t gonna ask you again!” 

Mac groaned, slinging his rifle over his back and sprinting back towards the truck stop, and the terminal inside which controlled their turrets. The gunners had attacked at just the perfect moment, leading both the synth and the merc to believe it was planned.

They’d turned the turrets off for routine maintenance mere minutes before the gunners had attacked. They weren’t defenceless, not by a longshot. But they were unprepared, which meant they were sloppy. Victory already has a cracking black eye forming where one of the gunners had run at her with a baton, and Mac had an awful burn on his arm from a laser shot. 

Dogmeat and Codsworth were waiting inside the truck stop, as he had told them to when it first kicked off. They had no idea _who_ the Gunners were here for. There was enough reason to believe it was MacCready they were here for, since he’d been causing them trouble even before he left them. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t Victory they were here for, after all she’d been the one to drag them to Greentech, and she’d been the one who took out a majority of the Gunners there. It could even be Vanessa, who had a vested interest in destroying as many of their encampments across the Commonwealth as possible. She’d succeeded too. Nobody was really sure why she hated them so much, but when asked she’d often ramble an answer along the lines of “at least raiders don’t lie about what they are”. 

Mac scratched his chin as he looked at the flickering screen. Luckily he’d seen Victory use it enough that he didn’t have to fumble his way through reading the words. A few buttons were pressed, and he heard the familiar beep of the turrets locking onto their target, and then at once, they all opened fire. He rushed out of the garage, Victory was standing still, covered in blood that he hoped wasn’t her own. “Vi? You alright?” She turned to look at him over her shoulder, and for the first time ever, the synth woman broke down in tears.

*

Father felt the pressure of that familiar pistol pressed against his stomach. The woman in front of him was shaking. He’d never seen her shake like that. All his watching, all the footage he’d seen and she had _never_ faltered with a kill. At times it was easy to forget this woman, his mother, was a housewife not all too long ago. 

Well not long for her at least. 

“Where is my baby! Where is Shaun? The _real_ Shaun!” The sounds of the synth boy screaming for help when she tried to speak to him were still ringing in her ears. Screaming for his _father._ His father was dead. Killed by this… This Institute.

“Please just tell me where he is. Let me take him _home._ I… I’ve been searching for months. I haven’t stopped. I don’t sleep. I’ve _killed!_ Please. I just want to stop… I want to stop running, searching. I want to stop _killing._ ” 

_My mother the raider,_ he thought, _the raider wants to stop killing. How rich._ She was sobbing now, and it almost surprised him. But he’d learnt by now she was an unpredictable entity, just because she was crying it doesn’t mean she wouldn’t suddenly blow his brains out on the glossy, white floors. “I could kill you.” He knew that. 

“I know, I know. You have gone to great lengths to find him. I promised you answers, and answers you shall have. But… You have to understand that this… _situation,_ is for more complicated than you could’ve imagined.” She must be more naive than he thought, or had she just forgotten her husband’s face? He felt a twinge of resentment for her, regardless. “It’s good to finally meet you, after all this time. It’s me, I am Shaun. I am your son.”

Vanessa recoiled in disgust, eyes wide. She faltered, gun dropping to her side. “Oh my God…” It was him. Or well, it was _Nate._ Clear as day. All he had from her was her pointed chin. He must’ve had her hair when he was younger. Although it was now silver, it had a curled bounce to it. It startled her that she didn’t recognise them as _his_ eyes. But now? She shrank beneath their brown gaze. “ _Shaun?_ It’s really _you?_ ” 

“Yes, it’s true. In the vault you had no concept of the passage of time. You were released from your pod and went searching for the son you’d lost.” Her white, pearled pistol clattered to the ground, one arm wrapping around herself. Her other hand was pressed firmly to her lips, as she stared at the ground, tears streaming down her face. “But then you learnt that your son was no longer an infant, but a 10 year old boy. You believed that 10 years had passed. Is it really so hard to accept that it was not 10, but sixty years? That is the reality.” She took a step back from him, shivering, visibly working out an escape plan. “And here I am. Raised by the Institute. And now its leader.” 

“Shaun… What they did… It… it wasn’t right!” Father sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. She was already getting under his skin. Talking to him as though he were still her son, still a child. Rather than a full grown man. “To you, that would certainly seem true. But to the Institute… it made all the sense in the world. At that time, the year 2227, the Institute made great strides in synth production. But it was never enough.” Vanessa edged towards him, one hand slightly outstretched. He took it in both of his. She was so… _small._ “Scientific curiosity, and the goal of perfection, drove them ever onward. What they wanted was… the perfect machine. So they followed the best example they had - the human being. Walking, talking, fully articulate. Capable of anything.” 

Visibly uncomfortable again, the woman’s eyebrows drew together as she frowned at her son. “Shaun… Those… the synths? You’ve made more than just machines.” He tutted, shaking his head. “They took you for fucking science experiments, Shaun!” “Language.” She flinched away from him, holding her head close to her chest. She opened her mouth to say something, but he cut her off, “but, in a manner of speaking, yes. The Institute endeavoured to create synthetic organics. The most logical starting point, of course, was the human DNA.” He said that as though it were as logical as calling the sky blue, or saying humans need air to survive. 

“Why… why you? Why a baby? _My_ baby?” Shaun nodded, taking a step towards his mother. “Plenty of that was available, of course, but it had all become corrupted. In this… wasteland. Radiation affected everyone. The records the Institute discovered of Vault 111 showed an infant. Frozen in time. Protected from the radiation-induced mutations that had crept into every other human cell in the Commonwealth.” Her nose scrunched up. Shaun wondered if his father had been more understanding. “I was what they needed. My DNA became the basis of the synthetic organics used to create every human-like synth you see today. I _am their_ father. Through science we are all family. The synths… me… and you.”

Vanessa looked as though she was going to be sick. All colour had drained from her face. “Mother I would like for you to give the Institute… Give _me_ a chance. Now, I’m not asking you to make any rash decisions, I just want for you to stay with us for a while. Meet those in charge of each field here.” She didn’t respond right away. “Mother?” She sucked in a breath, looking up at him, her face blotchy from crying, “I never wanted you to call me that.” He frowned lightly, the expression making him look more like her. “Excuse me?” The laugh that escaped her was broken, and hoarse from her crying. “I was going to be mummy, or mum, or mama. Or well… I guess, _mom._ ” He frowned a little more, deciding to brush that away. “You already have living quarters set up here, and X6 will be placed under your command, he will be around for whatever you need, including keeping you safe if you must return to the wasteland.” 

Any protests she had was ignored, falling on deaf ears. “We will speak further tomorrow, mother. Rest well.” It was clear that he wasn’t interested in further conversation, he said he had things to attend to, and so did she. Vanessa decided to make her way to find this _X6,_ and hopefully sleep in some degree of comfort. 


	20. Crossing Paths

“Victory? Are you going to talk to me yet?” Leaning against the wall of the old truck stop office, cigarette hanging from his mouth, MacCready spoke to his synth friend through the door, tiredly awaiting an answer. 

There was silence for a moment, before the handle twisted, and the door opened, “Robbie… I could’ve  _ died  _ yesterday.” He turned to look at her, plucking his cigarette from between his teeth, blowing the smoke out through his nose. “That’s the life we face everyday, Vi.” She ran her hands through her messy white hair, tucking it behind one of her ears. Those golden brown eyes seemed to stare straight through him when she looked him in the eyes. “Hell, ah know tha’. But it made me think. I’ve… I reckon I needa come clean about a lot of stuff. T’you  _ and  _ t’me.” He nodded, staying silent for her to continue.

“Mac I’m a synth. Don’t look at me like tha’. I know y’know that. But I ain’t jus’ any synth, okay? I was a Courser. The chip ah… I gave Nessa? Tha’ was mine. I don’t know how they got it outta my head, ah… Ah don’t remember much from back then. An’ Coursers ain’t… We ain’t meant to have feelings. Even less so than regular synths. Everythin’ I know, has been like… Copying, y’know? My relationship with Tommy… I cared about him. Loved him more than I coulda understood. Ah didn’t understand t’weren’t romantic, y’know?” 

Victory groaned, she hated talking about the mess that was going on in her head. She raked her fingers through her head. Mac was surprised to hear she was a Courser, but in retrospect it made sense. She hunted down the Courser in Greentech, bested him in hand-to-hand combat. She was incredibly smart, especially for a wastelander. She was agile, she was quick. He’d joked once that she was a killing machine and it turned out… She really was. 

“Down there, relationships are… Complicated. From what I saw, and… remember,” she rubbed her head, it was all fuzzy when she thought of her old life in the Institute. “relations were pretty dedicated to like, reproduction. I didn’t really understand love, let alone that those of the  _ same sex  _ could love.” The merc nodded, things becoming clearer. He understood what she meant now. The point she was getting at. Why she’d been distancing herself as of late. 

“I come up. I see… People lovin’ who they want, y’know? With no regard for biological sex or… reproduction. Now ah know Nessa ain’t like me like that, but when she like… When she started flirtin’ with me and the like I… Kinda had a realisation y’know. An’ I know I been givin’ you some mighty confusing signals and…” Mac interrupted her by wrapping his arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug.

“I’m not mad, Vi. Not upset either. I’m glad you told me. And it doesn’t change a thing, we’re still friends. Can’t go losing my favourite synth now, can I?” 

*

Fiona shuffled on her feet, looking at her friend in her new body. She’d been travelling with the unique Miss Nanny unit for weeks, they’d become good friends, and she’d been delighted when they discovered from Doctor Amari that there was a synth body for her. 

“Curie? How are you feeling?” Curie stumbled to her feet, Fiona catching her before she fell. “Ooh! Madame Fiona, I muzt zay I feel quite peculiar. Ooh! Izn’t breathing zuch and interesting experience.” Fiona laughed, “just make sure you remember to do so!” 

Amari ran some diagnostics before announcing Curie was fit to leave, and the two left Goodneighbour together. 

“Madame Fiona, I realise now I have forgotten to azk Doctor Amari if zere is anything I should be aware of now I am a synth! So I am asking you instead.” Fiona looked over her companion curiously, “Curie I’m not a synth. So uh… Hmm, I don’t… I don’t really know.” The synth whimpered dejectedly. “Oh dear, zhis is most disappointing and concerning. What if zomething goez wrong! Do I need to be worried about zhe Institute!” 

Fiona squeezes the synth, “I… Uhm… It’s okay!” Fiona hummed, trying to think. “Piper! We’re going to Diamond City anyway, and Piper knows everything and everyone. I’m sure she’ll know something.” 

*

“Ma’am.” 

“Ma’am? Vanessa? You have a meeting with the Institute leaders today. You instructed me to make sure you woke up and got there on time. Need I remind you that you gave me full reign? I will pour a bottle of water on you if you don’t get moving.” 

X6 switched the lights on, and Vanessa groaned, dragging one of the pillows over her head. “Turn the light off… headache…” X6 shook his head, placing the folded clothes down at the end of her bed. “I warned you not to drink so much, your hangover is self-inflicted, and therefore I am not feeling sympathetic towards you.” 

She sat up in the bed, squinting at the Courser, her eyebrows laced together. “If you continue to frown so often, you will be more likely to wrinkle, ma’am.” Vanessa gasped, gently rubbing her forehead, “I don’t like you.” The Courser hummed, pouring some sugar bombs into a bowl, moving over to put it in her lap, “that is curious. You said quite the opposite last night, in fact, your exact words were that I was your ‘Best Friend’.” 

Vanessa spooned some of the plain sugar bombs into her mouth, rubbing her eyes sleepily, “I was drunk, X6. You can’t hold the things I say drunk against me. Or take it seriously. If you did, I should’ve been married to multiple people now.” The Courser nodded, straightening his sunglasses, “I am wounded to hear this ma’am. These clothes here will prove more suitable than your wasteland rags. Admittedly, were you in combat, they would not offer as much protection, however you will not find yourself in combat here, ma’am.” 

Vanessa plucked at the white turtleneck sweater, her nose scrunching up. It wasn’t the worst thing she’d ever seen, in fact it  _ was  _ cute, but she felt uncomfortable not wearing armor in a place like this. “X6 are you going to just stand there whilst I get changed?” “I am a Courser ma’am, your nudity will have no effect on me if that is what is concerning you.” She scowled at him again, “oh. You are wanting privacy. I shall wait for you outside ma’am.” 

Vanessa emerged from her room a few minutes later, wearing a pair of smart, black high waisted trousers and heels with the sweater. A cigarette dangling between her lips (she was wearing her lipstick again). She had to admit she felt pretty, if a little unprotected. “You’re not allowed to smoke out here ma’am. And if you weren’t aware, smoking is terrible for your health.” Rolling her eyes, she took out the cigarette and tucked it into the pocket of her pants. “X6? Who is your loyalty to?” 

They walked side by side to the room for their meeting. “Ma’am I have been instructed to be your companion. I am to keep you alive.” Vanessa frowned, before feeling self conscious, rubbing her forehead again. “So if someone here started shooting at me, you’d kill them before they killed me?” “Yes ma’am.” She hummed, patting the pistol in her front pocket, “what if I started shooting everyone here? So surely you would have to shoot everyone too.” 

“Negative ma’am. You are not the Director of the Institute. That overrules my job of protecting you, you would be then classified as a threat.” Vanessa elbowed him gently, raising her brows, “what if I  _ was  _ the Director?” He hummed, “theoretically, if you were the Director of the Institute, my loyalty would be pledged in its entirety to you ma’am.” “Interesting,” “I must discourage you from attacking any members of the Institute, ma’am. I don’t think Father would appreciate such an action, especially from his mother.” 

She feigned a yawn as they reached the meeting room. Everyone was already there, she smiled brightly and took her seat to the right of Father, who was sat at the head of the table. Justin and Madison looked bored, but Allie and Clayton smiled back at her. “Might I say, it is an honour to have you here, Mrs French.” Vanessa laughed awkwardly, running a hand through her hair, “it’s a pleasure to um, be here! And it’s Ms Everly.” Shaun frowned at her, but cleared his throat, beginning the meeting. 

  
  


As the meeting grew to an end, discussion turned to how Vanessa would aid the Institute. It was established that she would be taking Kellogg’s old position. Tracking escaped synths and the like. “Did you  _ really  _ have to  _ kill  _ Kellogg? He was an excellent asset, now we are having to train up yet another Courser, if not two. One to replace him and one to replace X6-88, who is being used to  _ keep you alive. _ ” Vanessa’s hand twitched towards the gun at her hip, “Kellogg  _ killed  _ my husband!” 

Shaun cleared his throat, turning his head toward his mother. “Mother, you seem to have moved on fairly quickly from him. You do not even use his name.” Vanessa slammed her hands down on the table and stood up, “you  _ did not  _ know your father. You were stolen from us. He may not have been a great man, but he was my husband. And it is  _ NONE  _ of your business whether I have moved on or not. Fuck your meeting. X6? Get me out of here.” 

“Ma’am?” “X6 that is an order.” The Courser nodded, “relaying you back to the Commonwealth ma’am.” A flash of light, and a second later, and they were gone. 

*

Piper’s house was as messy as it had been the last time Fiona came to visit her. Paper littered the room. Planned articles. Scrapped articles. Articles she ended up making. Not only that but bubblegum wrappers, boxes of Fancy Lads, Nuka Cola bottles. She shook her head, fighting the urge to start tidying the shack. 

The reporter was fussing over Curie, asking her all sorts of questions and having her reply into a holotape recorder. She said she wanted - no -  _ needed  _ to have an interview with the synth, although she promised it would be anonymous, just in case. 

“Well that’s that! Thank you very much, Curie.” Piper popped the holotape out of the recorder, tucking it into her pocket. “You are very welcome, Madame Piper! I think it will be most exciting to be in zhe news! Even if it is… how you say… Anonymously!” Piper smiled brightly at the two of them, sitting down at the couch between them, “alright, so what is it I can do for the pair of you?” 

Fiona squeaked, clapping her hands together, “oh yeah! Pipes’ you wouldn’t know a synth… Would you? Oh! Besides Curie of course. Aaaand, McDunough.” Piper chewed one of her nails for a moment in thought, “oh! Yeah! I do! There’s one staying up at Nessa’s safehouse!” “Nessa? As in your friend the ex-minuteman turned raider?” The reporter nodded, “she’s way nicer than you’d expect. And I don’t think the raider thing is true… I hope. Anyway, the synth? Her name is Victory. She’s living up there with MacCready, watch out for him. He’s more trouble than Nessa is. Friendly enough, though. I’ve been up to visit a few times.” 

Piper pulled Fiona’s arm into her lap, studying her Pip-Boy screen, “here, I’ll mark it up on your map. I’d come with you but somebody’s gotta look after Nat.” The young girl in the other room protested loudly, “Piper!  _ I’m  _ the one who looks after  _ you! _ ” Piper waved a hand in her direction with a grin, “you’ll be safe as houses up there. It’s why they call it a safehouse. I can’t speak for MacCready but Victory? She’s an ask-questions-first-shoot-after kinda person. Synth.  _ Oh _ you get the picture.” 

Fiona looked at the map, “it’s a few hours walk from here, but not too bad. Oh! It’s in the old Red Rocket. Awesome! Haven’t been up that way in a while. Are you good to go, Curie? No hiccups or anything?” Curie shook her head, “zhe ‘iccups are caused by zhe diaphragm involuntarily spasming. It is demonstrated with a sound too, like zhe squeaking of one of my lovely mole ratties. So, non, Madame Fiona, I am not ‘aving zhe ‘iccups.” Fiona sighed gently, smiling at Curie and nodding, “I suppose that means we’re good to go then.”

The young woman rose to her feet, Curie happily following close behind. “Piper? You sure you’re not coming?” Piper looked up from her notepad, “you’ve already got company. Maybe some other time, Fi.” Fiona nodded, bouncing her backpack onto her shoulders more comfortably, “alright, see you soon Pipes’.” The women hugged, before Fiona and her synth companion departed Diamond City. 

*

“Lone Wanderer Log; 3. January 17th, 2288.

We’re getting closer to the Commonwealth, you can feel it in the air. It’s much cooler. Erin says that’s because it’s so close to the ocean. I don’t really know how factual that is, I don’t really know if Erin is actually smart or if he just sounds that way, but I’m gonna believe him ‘cause I don’t have much other option. 

We encountered a band of Super Mutants about ten minutes ago, I’m actually stimpak-ing a bullet wound in my leg as we speak. Erin says he knew we were close because of their colour, and low and behold, the muties out this way are  _ green!  _ Not that gross yellow-y colour they are back home. 

_ Back home.  _ Sounds wack when I say it like that. Maybe the ‘Wealth will be my new home. I still don’t know if I want to live somewhere big or small.  _ Erin!  _ Where should I live? What do you mean don’t shout? Hey! Stop cursing! Don’t you  _ lady  _ me young man.”

“Lady, you’re being loud and you’re gonna attract a whole bunch of uglies. And we’re not exactly swimming in stimpaks out here.” 

“Uglies are the same as muties. Erin, where should I live? In the Commonwealth?” 

“Anywhere but Goodneighbour.” 

“Why not Goodneighbour? Hey! Erin! Why not Goodneighbour? Where are you going?  _ Perimeter sweep.  _ Like that’s a real thing. We’re camped out in what looks like an old cafe but it’s got no walls. Or windows. Oh! I remember! Goodneighbour is the dodgy town. Erin? Is Goodneighbour the dodgy town? Well… That is certainly  _ not  _ the phrase I’d use, so we’ll go with dodgy. Yeah they’ve got like a chem trade or something, oh! And a  _ ghoul  _ is the mayor out there! An honest to goodness ghoul! Like Gob or Roxanne or Pepper! Apparently ghouls in the Commonwealth aren’t treated as badly as they are back in D.C. That makes me happy. The ghouls in Underworld were always so nice.  _ Mostly. _

Oh, another thing about the muties out here, not only are they not green, but they don’t have centaurs either! I’m not complaining, those things were nasty and I will  _ definitely  _ not miss them! Out here they have these creatures called  _ mutant hounds  _ instead. At least, that’s what my Pip-Boy is calling them. They just look like big, green, dogs. They’re kinda cute, in an odd way. They remind me of Dogmeat, never found out what happened to him. I hope he is with Lone. Unless Lone really is dead, then I hope he’s someplace else.”

“Lady! We need to get moving. It’ll be getting dark soon.” 

“Erin, we only just got here.”

“We stopped for you to fix up that bullet hole, now come on.” 

“Come on, you’re not actually go-… Oh, he’s gone. He’s actually gone. Excuse me young man you get back here. Alright. He’s leaving me in… Erin! Hang on! Well, stay safe out there children, this has been Wanderer. Telling you the truth about tales of the wasteland. Signing off.” 

*

The woman standing before Vanessa was young, pretty, but young. Young enough that she had her motherly instincts kicking in. She bit her tongue to stop herself from scolding the young woman for running about across the Commonwealth. 

She was a redhead, her long hair in braids that came down her shoulders. Vanessa didn’t think she could be much older than sixteen, and it worried her. The woman with her looked to be in her early twenties, but had an innocent air about her that didn’t help to soothe Vanessa’s nerves. She was pretty too, with short brown hair. 

Her own hair was growing back somewhat quickly, sprouting small, tight curls that were getting close to her chin. She was still somewhat conscious of it, and was constantly playing with it. Like in this moment, as she nervously twizzled it around her finger. “Who did you say sent you here?” 

“Oh! I didn’t but uh, Piper! Down in Diamond City. She said there was a synth up here we could speak to.” Vanessa narrowed her eyes, one hand coming to rest on her hip, “might I ask why you’re looking for a synth?” Fiona looked over at Curie, who was distracted watching a bird, she looked back at Vanessa, chewing her lip for a moment. Piper  _ said  _ she could trust her. “My friend here… Curie, she’s a synth. I, uh,  _ we,  _ don’t know anything about synths. So we… decided to meet one… It sounds stupid now I say it out loud.” 

Vanessa’s face softened and she smiled at the younger woman, “ah, I see. Come on in, we’ve got houses set up for you to stay in. I-If you need it of course.” Vanessa pushed the gate open, holding it for the redhead and the synth, shutting it behind them. “ _ Victory!  _ There’s some people here to see you! She’s had a few, mm,  _ off _ days, she’s going through some stuff, so, forgive her if she’s a  _ little grumpy _ .” 

Victory was sat cross legged on the double bed in the garage, thumbing through an old book Vanessa had given her. Mac was whittling a chunk of wood with his combat knife. “ _ Oh,  _ and this is MacCready. He really is grumpy.” He maturely mimicked her, and she shook her head, “point proven. Mac, Vi. This is Fiona and Curie. Curie is a synth.”

Victory looked up sharply, and sucked in a breath as she caught the little french woman’s gaze. “H-Hi.” “Ah! Bonjour Madame Victory, and bonjour Monsieur MacCready.” 

They all greeted each other, and chatted for a bit. Vanessa found herself studying Victory’s interactions with the other synth. They were all fascinated with how Curie used to be a mister handy (or miss nanny) robot. It was even suggested to Codsworth, who promptly almost short-circuited.

The older woman sat beside Mac, who was being social but still focused on his craft, and began to revert to her  _ favourite  _ pre-war habit. 

_ Matchmaking. _

*

Maple and Erin were hiding behind a wall. He was pleasantly surprised that the older vault dweller wasn’t completely useless. He’d thought it was just a fluke earlier when she’d taken out some of the Mutants, but she was proving herself to be fairly combat proficient. 

Her Chinese assault rifle was held lightly between her hands, but with enough pressure to not get whiplash from the recoil. Her body still shook a little when she fired for too long, she was used to the baseball bat (which was hanging out of her backpack), and tried to stick to just knocking people out when she could. That  _ obviously  _ wasn’t possible with mutants. 

What surprised Erin even more, was that Maple  _ saved him.  _ He stepped out from behind the wall prematurely, and a bullet from a hunting rifle tore through his side. He heard her yell, and drag him back behind the wall, “okay, honey. You sit here, stay.” Erin shook his head, pushing her away and getting back up, “ _ Erin!  _ No. Sit.  _ Stay. _ ” 

He protested with cries of how he wasn’t a dog, but Maple was already taking a hit of jet, reloading her rifle  _ and  _ walking right out from behind the wall. She opened fire and Erin realised he’d be a little pissed if she died. He dragged himself up, and poked his head up over a part of the wall which had particularly crumbled, and used his own rifle to provide her with covering fire. 

A super mutant charged at her with a board. Maple fired wildly at it, backing up as quickly as she could. But it just kept coming. Erin lined up the mutant’s head in his sights, and quickly shot it down. Maple grinned over her shoulder, and pointed a finger gun at him, before taking down the rest of the muties. 

When she came back to Erin, he was using a stimpak. “Are you finally going to agree we need some rest, Erin? That was sloppy.” She pulled him to his feet, “come on. Those muties were held up in an old cabin. We’re going to sleep for more than five minutes, and I’ll cook this time. No arguments.” Erin begrudging gave in, and let the vault-dweller carry him off. 


	21. Blind Betrayal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you’re all enjoying this so far, i don’t get many comments so i’m not really sure how i’m doing but this is my first proper work of fiction so i’m hoping you like it <3
> 
> comments are definitely appreciated!

“Just a reminder that a few brave people are trying to settle Sanctuary Hills with the Commonwealth Minutemen. They asked for me to say that they’re always looking for new folks to join up, speak to Preston in Sanctuary! Good luck out there guys.” 

Maple hummed, elbowing her companion in the side. Days of travelling were taking their toll on the older vault dweller, but her much younger friend seemed to have endless reserves of stamina and endurance. “How about Sanctuary Hills? Sounds peaceful,  _ and  _ the Minutemen are the good guys, right?” Erin sighed, he’d have thought she would’ve run out of things to talk (or complain) about by now. “Minutemen are okay. Map.” She puffed out her cheeks, holding out her arm to him, “a please would be nice.” Erin grunted, pushing her arm away, “I can drop you off there. We’re headed into the Wealth through the north-east anyway.”

The air was cooler than it had been the last few days, Maple found herself wearing her vault suit zipped up all the way for the first time in months, if not  _ years _ . The bag on her back was a little lighter than it had been when she left Rivet City, since she’d chosen to discard most of her bottles of Aqua Pura when they’d run dry. She had one. A momento. Maple’s possessions from back home were scarce, she didn’t own much, what she did have was a few sentimental items, and things necessary to survive. 

Besides clean underwear, caps, food and water, her pack contained; a silk purse she kept her handmade makeup in, a pre-war cookbook that had been a birthday present from James, between it’s pages were pressed flowers from Amata, a photograph of her and her parents, and a photograph of her and Cato. Inside her pack was also Butch’s combat knife, a comic book given to her by the Lamplight kids, a copy of the Wasteland Survival Guide signed by her, Moira and Cato, her old and blank holotapes and recorder, a collection of chems and her equipment for brewing more, some spices and plants and finally, the modified FEV virus. She’d wanted to bury it somewhere, or hurl it into the sea but it was the last thing Cato had given her. It was his apology. Besides the photograph it was all she had left. 

The virus had been the cause of their big fight. Cato had suggested it would be beneficial, killing the super mutants would save so many lives. Maple wasn’t blind, she could see that. But she could also see how many lives would have been taken as a result. Ghouls and humans alike. 

Lone had found the Wanderer mere days before he reactivated project purity. He’d pressed the vial into her hand, apologised erratically and disappeared away in the night with little more than a kiss on her cheek. And she hadn’t seen him since. 

But, this story isn’t about the Lone Wanderer, it’s about the Sole Survivor. And right now, our Sole Survivor isn’t doing so well. 

After spending a few days at Red Rocket, Paladin Danse came looking for her. Presumed AWOL by the Brotherhood, the Paladin was not content with this. He now considered her his closest friend and ally within the Brotherhood, and although his confidence in her had been a little wounded when he heard of her handing the Institute data to Proctor Ingram and disappearing, he found himself determined to find out why.

He found her at the old truck stop, a little shaken up, but seemingly no worse for wear. He convinced her to report back, and by the time they arrived, Vanessa wearing her old Brotherhood jumpsuit again, Doctor Li had checked in at Boston Airport, so the expected berating from Elder Maxson never came. 

The Brotherhood “Dream Team” had been instructed on another mission, yet again to the Glowing Sea. Their plan was to collect her power armor that had been salvaged and repaired from further into the ship, but it was as they neared the Med-Bay, that all of Vanessa’s careful bottling fell apart. 

Struck with the sudden memory of the last time she’d stepped foot in there, the iced vault dweller stumbled backwards, hands flat on her belly. And before she could stop it, the floodgates opened. Tears turned black from her makeup streamed down her face, audibly dripping on the metal floor below her as she hunched over. Her mouth opened and closed wordlessly, like a fish, silent sobs making her body tremble. The Paladin was back at her side in an instant, using his body as a blockade between her and the Med-Bay, and any onlookers who might be inclined to stare. 

Flinching when she reached out and grabbed the front of his uniform, Danse felt a little of his stoicism melt away. A small, rogue part of himself - one he often ignored - urged him to ignore the Brotherhood’s rules on fraternisation, to hold her the way he had when Haylen had crumbled in front of him.

It felt improper to do so. This was a personal moment of grief. After all, he had no place for involvement, if he had been a little more forceful when attempting to convince her that  _ he  _ was best to accompany her into the Glowing Sea in the first place, well, there was a chance she wouldn’t have gotten into this situation. Admittedly, she would’ve been more than a few months pregnant, and quite possibly unable to continue her mission, but the lives of two individuals could’ve been saved. Yet another partner that in Danse’s own eyes, he had failed. 

As quickly as the storm came on, it soon rolled over. One weak sob, and the woman’s grip on his uniform relaxed, she stood up straight and looked him in the eyes. She was a strong woman, anyone could see that. And it was what made her such a wildcard in regards to the future of the Commonwealth. Losing a husband and two children would be enough to make anyone give up, let alone a pre-war woman who could barely shoot a gun before the bombs dropped.

The Glowing Sea mission went far better than her first expedition had gone. Danse had stayed behind to help collect the nuclear arsenal and Vanessa had been picked up by a Vertibird close to the edge of the Sea. Danse had said he’d meet her back at Red Rocket, and that was where she’d been waiting since. 

That was until the Vertibird arrived. 

“Knight Everly. We ask that you calmly relinquish your weapons and board the Vertibird without a fight.” 

Victory came to the woman’s side first, her hands gripping her institute pistol tightly, “is there some kinda trouble here, Charmer?” MacCready was sat on the roof of the old truck stop, Vanessa heard him load his rifle, and held up a hand. “Lower your weapons, you two. Is there some kind of problem here, gentlemen?” She didn’t want to appear aggressive, and knew full well Deacon would be somewhere in the shadows ready to intervene if things went awry. 

“Private Brotherhood business, Knight. We are not to discuss it, especially in front of wastelanders.” Vanessa scoffed, hand on her hip, “if the Elder is throwing a tantrum because I’m not focused solely on the Brotherhood again I will not be pleased. I will be taking one of my companions with me, I hope that isn’t an issue, but it is non-negotiable if I am relinquishing my weapons.” 

As if he could read her mind, or probably more likely he could hear her, Deacon came walking into the settlement. “One companion. But they will too give up any and all weapons. You will both get them back once Elder Maxson gives his permission.” 

“Victory, Curie please continue normal operations. Mac, Fiona, neither of you  _ have  _ to stay but if you’d be willing to hold down the fort until I return I would be grateful. Deacon, you’re with me. I’m assuming you won’t be putting me in handcuffs, gentlemen?” She winked at the other knight, wetting her bottom lip with her tongue. The Captain stepped forward, “it won’t be necessary. But this is a final warning, give over your weapons and get on the Vertibird, now.” 

Clad only in a short, pink dress, with a leather belt and pistol holster around her waist, Vanessa jammed her feet into her black combat boots, begrudgingly handing her pistol to the Knight. The idea that she would get on that Vertibird completely defenceless was amusing, she knew Deacon could hold his own in a fight, but she was in no way equipped to deal with  _ soldiers _ . A warm, motherly smile danced across her face, “let’s go then shall we boys.” 

“Hey, Charms?” His voice, barely a whisper, went straight to  _ all the right places.  _ “I don’t normally question your  _ beautiful _ mind but I can’t help thinking that maybe Dorothy wouldn’t win a fight with the Tin Man.” He sat down besides her on the Vertibird. She stared dead ahead. A ghost of a smile curling at her lips. “Does that make you the cowardly Lion or the Scarecrow without a brain, Deacon?” He feigned a gasp. For the first time Deacon really had no idea  _ where  _ her head was at. Part of him considered the possibility that she didn’t have a plan, but that was unrealistic. Vanessa always knew what she was doing. As far as he could tell. And she was impeccably calm in this moment. “I’m wounded, Charmer.” 

A smirk. A fake one. He knew those by now. She placed a hand over his, tenderly wrapping her fingers around it. She squeezed, and he turned his face slightly in her direction, “Charms?” He heard the sharp intake of her breath. He saw her glance at the Knight sitting in the back with them. His own breath caught when she placed his hand on her thigh, and his skin began to crawl. He felt his heart rate pick up and he swallowed the lump in his throat. “Charmer I don’t think this is the place for…” 

On the inside of her thigh, below her skirt, was something sharp, and cold. A combat knife. She wasn’t unprepared.  _ That’s  _ the Charmer he knew. He  _ also knew  _ that the dress she was wearing had ballistic weave. She may not have known what she was getting into, but she wasn’t going down for a fight. More than just a mouse walking into the lion's den. 

“I assume we’re heading to the Prydwyng?” “Prydwen.” “Is that not what I said?” The other Knight scoffed and turned away, Vanessa grinned, but returned to her silence. Deacon was unsure of whether she was  _ trying  _ to antagonise them, or if she genuinely said Prydwen like that. Either way, it was a matter of insignificant details, whatever she was trying to do, she didn’t get very far. 

Boots down on the Prydwen, and with several different guns pointed at them, Vanessa chuckled, smoothing her skirts. “Quite the reception. I’m honoured.” Lancer Captain Kells was standing on the flight deck. She bobbed a curtsy that was positively  _ dripping  _ in sarcasm, before being pushed by the Knight. 

“Is there anything you wish to tell me, Knight?” The tone in which the Elder spoke immediately got the woman’s back up. I feel inclined to remind you of how poorly Vanessa deals with authority figures. The Brotherhood soldiers who had brought them stood as a blockade at the exit. Nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. She sucked in a breath through her teeth, relaxing her fists which had clenched on instinct. “I’m not sure I like how you’re asking me that, Elder.” 

Deacon could’ve slapped her. He wouldn’t,  _ obviously _ . But her behaving in such a manner wouldn’t win them any favours. She was charming but after showing blatant hostility even he would struggle to get them out of a conflict now. “And I don’t appreciate being  _ betrayed  _ by my own soldiers!” The Elder raised his voice, and he watched as Vanessa’s face dropped. The faux smile vanishing like it had put on a stealth boy. “ _ Betrayed? _ ” “Charmer, now’s not the time for a big mouth, and if I’m saying that...” He said it quietly, and she shot him a cold look over her shoulder. 

“Proctor Quinlan completed the decryption of the data you retrieved from the Institute. A portion of his findings included a list of synths that went missing or escaped from their underground facility. After careful analysis of the information, we’ve discovered something…  _ Unprecedented. _ ”

A hundred thoughts ran through the woman’s head. Was  _ she  _ a synth and she didn’t know it? Did they find out about her safe house? It would explain how they knew where to find her. Did they find out about Victory? Curie? H2? The  _ Railroad _ ? She was perplexed as to how escaped synths were  _ any  _ of the Brotherhood’s business. And then the bottlecap dropped. 

“Paladin Danse is a perfect match for one of the synths on that list.” 

She felt her chest constrict. Like those awful corsets she’d worn for photoshoots a few times. And it just kept getting  _ tighter and tighter.  _ With her heart hammering at such a velocity, Vanessa thought she was fit to burst! 

A hand pressed gently over her heart, she swallowed the lump in her throat. When she spoke she sounded as though she had been winded. As if the news was  _ literally  _ a kick to the stomach and the air had been forced out of her. “There must be some kind of mistake.” 

“In my experience. Proctor Quinlan doesn’t make mistakes. The data you brought back included a record of each subject's DNA. We keep the same information on file for all of our soldiers. Paladin Danse’s DNA is a perfect match for a synth they called M7-97. To make matters worse, he’s gone AWOL.” 

It explained why he hadn’t come to meet with her. If he had been tipped off it would explain why he seemed  _ different  _ with her. It would explain why he’d stayed behind in the Glowing Sea. 

She felt relieved that her business with the Railroad hadn’t been exposed. That her ongoing operations at Red Rocket were still secure. But even so she felt sick to her very stomach. It was like the worst hangover and the worst chem trip of her life all at the same time. “His sudden absence simply reinforces our conclusion that M7-97 and Paladin Danse are one in the same.” Vanessa rubbed her face with a hand, sighing gently, “oh Danse, you big idiot…” 

“I’m finding it difficult to believe that he never confided in you, and swore you to secrecy.” She racked her brain, but was certain Danse had never mentioned such a thing. She could understand how the Elder would draw such a conclusion. She was Danse’s only real friend besides Haylen, and he’d been one of her first friends out of the vault. They’d run missions together, he’d given her her sword, trained her. But he hadn’t told her. There was no way he could’ve known, unless the layers of hatred for synths  _ really were  _ just a disguise. 

If he hadn’t known before, she dreaded to think of how he must be reacting. Alone and scared and probably close to blowing his own brains out. To discover that you are the very thing you hate most… Vanessa shuddered at the thought. She’s come close to it.

“He… He never told me… Elder Maxson you  _ have _ to believe me.” Deacon sighed quietly, this news was the last thing she needed at the moment. It seemed the world was set on trying to crush her. Just lurching from one disaster to the next. It was a marvel she kept going. Elder Maxson narrowed his eyes at her, but she held her ground (and stared at it). Whether he truly believed her, or just took pity on how fragile she seemed in this moment is unclear, but he took a step forward, and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Mm, it seems I have misjudged you. I shall take you at your word,  _ however,  _ that doesn’t absolve you of your duty. Danse is a  _ synth.  _ He represents everything we hate. A monstrosity of technology. Our mission in the Commonwealth is clear, the Institute and it’s creations need to be destroyed in order to preserve our future, which leaves me facing the most difficult order I’ve ever given. You need to hunt down Danse and execute him.” 

Vanessa flinched away and Deacon was even surprised at this level of callousness from the Elder. “ _ Excuse me _ ? You’re seriously asking me to hunt down and  _ kill  _ Danse?” Maxson shook his head, “No, Knight. I’m not  _ asking  _ you. I am  _ ordering  _ you.” The next events happened almost in slow motion, in fact Deacon thought he’d accidentally huffed some jet. Before anyone could stop her, Vanessa struck the Elder across the face.  _ Hard.  _ Not enough to bruise, it had been an open-palmed slap after all, but enough to startle. And enough for the power-armored Knights to immediately ready their weapons, grabbing both Deacon and Vanessa, who thrashed around in a feeble attempt to break free. 

Her fighting earned her the butt of a laser rifle being slammed into her head. Her eyes rolled back and her head flopped forward and she hung there, limp and weak. Deacon was stunned. He had nothing witty to say. Nothing planned to talk them out of being executed. As well as he knew his Charmer, she was as of lately becoming more unpredictable. And unfortunately, that meant he was stumped as to how to get them out of trouble. 

“Elder Maxson is your order to execute?” 

The young Elder had turned away the moment he’d been struck. Deacon saw him gingerly rub his jaw where she’d hit him, before turning. “No. That won’t be necessary. I’m sure if Knight Everly had intended to cause me serious harm she would’ve done so with the knife she has strapped to her leg. We will consider this a minor and severe lapse in her judgement as a volatile response to the discovery that Danse is a traitor and we will leave it at that.” 

All Deacon could see of Vanessa’s face was a stream of blood from her eyebrow down half of her face. “I won’t… I won’t do it. Danse deserves a fair trial.” He was impressed she was still conscious, let alone still attempting to fight with the Elder. “There is no need for a trial, Knight. We have evidence he is a synth, therefore he must be destroyed. You are welcome to look over Proctor Quinlan’s finding but you will do it. This is not up for judgement or debate. I’m giving you a direct order, Knight, and I expect you to follow it without question!” 

He raised a hand. The Knight holding Deacon’s hands to his back released him, and Vanessa narrowly avoided collapsing on the floor. “Listen, I’m not blind to the fact Danse was your mentor, and this isn’t an easy burden to bear, but if we’re to remain strong we can’t afford to make exceptions, even when it means executing one of our own. Go speak with Proctor Quinlan, he’s been analysing the data and may be able to provide you with a starting point.” 

She turned to leave, and Deacon saw a glimpse of the damage to her face. “And Knight. There’s a promotion for you riding on the results of these orders, so  _ don’t  _ disappoint me.” Her fists clenched, and so did her jaw. But she stayed silent. Stalking past the Knights and down further into the ship. 

“Holy shit.” Vanessa was flicking through Proctor Quinlan’s data that she had downloaded to her Pip-Boy. “The little wanker… No way he’s any spawn of mine…” Deacon looked up at her, she was wearing a Brotherhood jumpsuit now, having left her armored dress in her personal storage. Her knife was strapped to her thigh, but visible now, and since they’d been given back their weapons, her pistol was sat in its holster. “Everything alright, Charms? Shaun?” Her eyes made contact with his, that scrape through her brow was going to scar, and held out her arm. 

On the screen was a picture of a woman. She was  _ familiar  _ but…  _ not.  _ Almost like Deacon had recognised her from a dream or something. “CE-01? Not a synth HQ helped as far as I’m aware. Naturally I’ve not met  _ every  _ synth. But…” He heard her huff. She rolled her eyes and looked at him. “Seriously, Dee? I know you’ve done your  _ research  _ on me.” He studied her face, blank, expressionless, then looked back down at the screen. “Your  _ sister? _ ” “I would say so, yeah. Why in the fuck would Shaun need a synth duplicate of Mila?” He scratched his stubble, reminding himself he needed a shave, and hummed in the back of his throat. 

“She’s not been made recently. It says she left years ago,” he tapped the screen, “maybe at one point they were planning on using her against you? Or to keep you there?” “It says they used  _ her  _ memories? She’s not a complete fabrication she’s a replication… How could they have done that? She should’ve died two hundred years ago, Dee.” She closed the file, pressing a hand to her face and wincing as she grazed the cut on her forehead. “Look, Charmer, I can come with you or maybe… I can do a little digging. I don’t want to leave you alone to...  _ deal _ with Danse, really I don’t. But maybe I can find her, or at least find a lead, meet you back at the safehouse?” 

A crumpled cigarette was plucked from her bra, and her lighter from the satchel on her belt. She watched the flame eat away at the two hundred year old paper. “You’d do that for me?” “Of course I would, Charms. Anything. You  _ know  _ that.” She turned to face him, leaning against the wall. He found himself focusing too much on how the cigarette dangled from her lips, and on the red ring that was already visible around it. Her fingertips resting on his bare arm was like a bolt of electricity. “You’re a  _ saint,  _ Dee. What would I do without you?” “Your life would be a helluva lot more boring that's for sure. Don’t reckon you’d be risking your life nearly half as much.” She lightly squeezed his arm, smiling warmly, “I certainly wouldn’t have half as much fun risking it without you, Dee,” he heard her sigh, “I guess… we should get cracking then.” “See you on the other side.” 


	22. Betrayed

The heel of her combat boot slammed through the glass of the front of the Nuka Cola machine. It wasn’t often she found a machine that wasn’t completely picked clean, especially one that still had bottles of Nuka-Cherry. So naturally, when she found it was firmly sealed shut, it was obvious she would have to smash the glass. She plucked the bits of glass from her boot and flicked them to the ground, scooping the bottles into her pack. 

Her destination was Listening Post Bravo. Scribe Haylen had told her it was Danse’s fallback point, they both hoped he was still there. And alive. 

Vanessa had a newfound respect for the Scribe. She’d tried to convince her not to kill Danse, not that Vanessa was planning to, and she’d even told her where to find him. She realised she  _ liked  _ Haylen. Haylen was good, she just might not be working for the right people. 

In Vanessa’s opinion, the Brotherhood were good at heart. They had decent core morals, take away technology to prevent the world ending up the same way it did. It made sense that was the way Roger Maxson decided to make his world. He  _ was  _ always prone to the extremes and had a surprising flair for the dramatics. But at its core, Vanessa believed the Brotherhood were good, they’d just gotten confused along the way and now it wasn’t about the preservation of pre-war society and protection of technology. In her opinion the Brotherhood were headed in a direction based on xenophobia. Their hatred of anything non-human, synths, ghouls, was now corrupting them into a not so positive force in the wasteland. 

But who was she to talk? She’s a raider.

Two turrets on the roof of the old bunker exploded with a well placed shot from her pistol. She had no idea what she was getting into, she wished she had her sword, she could’ve gone back to Red Rocket to get it, but she didn’t have time to waste. God only knows what state she would find the Paladin in. 

“Lift is active…” She called the elevator, looking around the bunker. A box of rounds for her pistol but nothing else of use. The elevator dinged and she spun around, pointing her pistol. “Empty… Fine. Down we go.” 

The lights flicked ominously, and the speakers crackled with a horrifically distorted rendition of classical elevator music. The ambience really set the tone of the events to follow. She felt sick. 

A protection bleeped the second the door slid open. Three shots. One shattered the glass protecting its circuits, the other two destroying it. It hit the ground with a louder thud than she would’ve liked. 

“Danse?” She gripped her pistol tight. She wasn’t planning on shooting him, but she wasn’t planning on letting him shoot her either. “Danse, it’s me. Vanessa.” 

And then she saw him. Through the glass. Curled up on the floor. Holding himself together almost literally. “Danse…” She pressed a hand to the glass. He didn’t even react. 

A dingy cave with a dead yao guai led into the room he was sitting in. “Vanessa stay away. I could hurt you.” She jammed her pistol into her holster and sat on the floor besides him, “and why would you do that?” He flinched when one of her hands rested on his side. Both of them resented Elder Maxson for sending her. 

“It wouldn’t be my choice. I’m a  _ synth. _ ” Vanessa shook her head, putting a hand into his hair, running her fingers through it softly. “You’re not just a  _ synth,  _ Danse. You’re more human than most people I’ve met in the wasteland. You bleed. You cry. So what if it’s synthetic.” 

He turned to face her, moving like his head was too heavy. He found all of his body felt too heavy. “The Institute couldn’t even be bothered to implant me with memories of a family, or parents. I’m little more than a Protectron.” Vanssa tutted, and continued petting his head, “we’re family, Danse,” “the Brotherhood is not my family anymore. They sent you to kill me, didn’t they.” 

It’s not posed as a question. Vanessa sighs and shakes her head. “I  _ don’t mean  _ the Brotherhood. Danse I mean you and I specifically. You remember I told you Shaun is older than we thought? Well, the synths are made of him. Of his DNA. That’s why the Institute took him in the first place,” she swallows the lump rising in her throat, “my DNA, is your DNA. My blood is your blood. I’d say that makes us family.” 

Danse flinches and pushes her away. “Stop… Just stop! Did Elder Maxson send you to kill me?” Vanessa stumbles to her feet, watching Danse closely. “Calm down. I’m not going to kill you.  _ Seriously, what the fuck?”  _

“Everly I believe I taught you better than this. If Elder Maxson has given you an order I expect you to follow it. I am a synth, I am everything that is wrong with the world. I am no different to the atom bombs that ruined your life and you would leave me to self destruct and do the same?” 

Vanessa’s fingers twitched towards her gun as he stood up. “Did you know?” Danse fixed her with a confused look, which turned into a scowl, but said nothing. “Did. You.  _ Know? _ That you’re a synth? I just…” Tears that had been prickling and threatening to spill all day, finally poured down her cheeks, uncontrollable. Her emotions right now felt like a storm. 

But if she was feeling a storm, Danse was feeling like a tempest. 

“Why wouldn’t you have told me? Why didn’t you? I thought there was trust between us, friendship? I don’t know I-,” “I didn’t know.” She released her grip on her pistol. “What?” “I didn’t… know. Haylen overheard them talking about it just as I got back to the Prydwen. I was collecting my things for a short stay at Red Rocket and she came and told me immediately. I panicked, I don’t know… probably some Institute failsafe.” 

She felt crushed. She’d felt betrayed. But she hadn’t considered killing him, not then, not now, not ever. Her nails tapped against her pistol for a moment, before both arms dropped to her sides. “I’m not killing you. You’re not a coward. Do  _ not  _ take the coward’s way out.” It was a cold thing to say, but going gentle and motherly with him clearly wasn’t working. 

“Knight...” “Are you a fucking  _ coward,  _ Danse? Are you weak? I thought you were a soldier,” “Everly.” “A brave man. A  _ Paladin. _ ” Danse’s shoulders dropped and his eyes moved to the floor. “If you were weak you would’ve given up. When you were a child, with your old Paladin teacher. With  _ Cutler. _ ” 

That struck a nerve. 

“Vanessa that’s  _ enough! _ ” He pinched the bridge of his nose and covered his face with a hand. “You are many things Paladin Danse, but a coward you are not. I will not kill you today. You are my friend, my partner, my mentor. And you are stronger than anyone I know.” She placed a hand on his arm, and gave it a tender squeeze, “don’t give up, Danse. Don’t give in. Keep fighting. We can do it together.” 

He regarded her with a steely, cold look, before his face crumpled. Vanessa’s arms sharply wrapped around him, and she pulled the much taller man down to press his face into her chest. “It’s alright, Danse. Come on, let’s get you out of here. We can walk back to Red Rocket, we’ll stay there together. You and me, yeah? We’ll stay.  _ Safe _ .” His body shook with what Vanessa assumed were a few sobs, and he pulled away, “you mean it?” Her heart ached. She wanted to make him feel better. 

She definitely didn’t want to make it worse. 

“Come on Danse, let’s get going. You’ve got weaving on that jumpsuit right? Perfect, keep a tight hold on that laser rifle, it’ll take us a few hours but it shouldn’t be too bad.” 

Oh how wrong she was. 

  
  


“Everly. I should’ve expected you wouldn’t listen to orders.” Vanessa’s hand flew to her pistol and pulled it out swiftly, pointing it at the Elder. Danse grabbed her wrist, and sighed delicately, “Vanessa,” he said gently, “don’t.” 

He tried to get her to lower the pistol, but she still stared at the elder, unflinching, a fire burning in her. “I’m not going to  _ murder  _ him, Maxson. That’s what you’re asking me to do,  _ murder!  _ He’s not a robot, he’s not a machine, look at him,” her breathing was irregular and you could see how emotional she’d gotten. More importantly you could hear it, her voice had gotten more shrill, raised an octave in desperation. 

“Everly. You had your goddamn orders. If you don’t execute this  _ machine,  _ I shall do it for you.” She didn’t doubt that. She clearly didn’t doubt that. Her shoulders dropped, and her arm swung down to her side, her pistol with it. “Maxson please. Don’t do this. You can’t make me do this. It’s not right.” But her pleas fell on the deaf ears of what she would later discover to be a madman. 

“Maxson you’ll lose two of your best soldiers today,” he cut her off, with a single laugh that came out like a bark. “No I won’t. Everly you need the Brotherhood more than  _ it  _ needs  _ you. _ ” 

He wasn’t wrong. 

“Don’t be a coward, Everly. Hm, well, I don’t blame you for thinking this machine deserves less than to be put down by you.” She flinched, and looked over with two eyebrows raised, “no. No. Danse that’s not…” He was staring down at the ground, face contorted in an expression that just made her heart ache. 

“Danse…” “Vanessa, just get it over and done with.” He dropped to his knees, looking up at the sky. He was calm. A gentle breeze next to the tempest that she had become. “We can still fix this. It was gonna be me and you, at Red Rocket.  _ Together. _ ” Both of them heard Maxson click a bullet into the pistol he’d brought. “Vanessa. Enough. I’ve made my peace with it. It’s time you do the same.” 

With Nate’s pearled pistol tight in her left hand, she raised it, pointing it at the Paladin. Her friend, her mentor. She clicked a bullet into the 10mm chamber and sucked in a breath. 

“I’m sorry.” 

*

“You… You did it?”

“Vanessa why the fuck would you do it? I thought you decided you weren’t going to do it!”

“I thought we were in agreement. I thought you understood. That you understood what  _ we  _ were about. Look I didn’t like Danse, but you shouldn’t have  _ killed  _ him.  _ Especially  _ not because he was a synth! What the fuck was going through your head.” 

She pressed her fingers to her face and screamed loudly, hunching over. Deacon was taken aback. 

“Vanessa… Charms? Charms,  _ shit,  _ I’m sorry.” 

“I didn’t want to! Deacon how dare you assume I  _ wanted  _ to!” She spun around, tears pouring down her cheeks. “I didn’t… I didn’t have a choice. Neither of them let me have a choice.”

He wrapped his arms around her and held her to his chest as she thrashed and cried, before letting out another scream. They were close enough to the airport that if she continued they’d probably attract Brotherhood attention, that troubled the spy, but he’d heard she’d been promoted. She’d been given Danse’s old position, and his armor presumably. 

“Body’s not even cold and they’re already dividing up the loot…” 

Deacon offered to take her back, saying they could bury him together. She said she couldn’t bear to consider the fact he was really gone. At least she could lie to herself and convince herself he was still alive. That maybe he’d survived the bullet, fled to the Capitol Wastes, left the Commonwealth. 

“I’ve got a lead.” 

Vanessa turned her attention from the water’s edge (they were sitting on the wall), to look at the spy to her left. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Did he really mean it? 

“On the synth.”

The synth that looked like her sister. 

She raised her pip-boy and fiddled with it until she found the file from Quinlan. Skipping over the information about Danse. 

_ CE-01. Experimental. Reported missing 08/23/2226. Courser not dispatched.  _

“You were right, she left  _ years  _ ago. Like as in, before they… Before they took Shaun.” Deacon took her hand, remarking to herself how warm and soft it was, and frowned at the screen. “Damn, I thought you were lying. Seems not,” he ignored her mumbles of him being the liar, “but why would they have made a synth of your sister before they even took Shaun?” 

Vanessa furrowed her brow. That was a good point. “Why would they make a synth of my sister anyway, and how, that’s still like, 149 years after the bombs dropped. So it’s 149 years she’s been… Gone.” “You wanna follow the lead?” He fumbled with the scrap of paper in his pocket, “I had to trade in a few favours to get my hands on this, so it better be a damn good story to tell.” It crinkled as he pressed it into her palm. 

“No fucking way,” “you know it?” She hummed low, in the back of her throat, “yes, something like that,” her knees cracked as she pushed herself to feet, and she winced, putting it into her Pip-Boy map. “It’s no short walk. Wanna get going?” “I’ve walked to the ends of the Earth with you so far, Charmer, a little further couldn’t hurt.” 


	23. More Reunions

“Should I have worn a dress?” 

Deacon looked over at Vanessa. In his personal opinion she looked stunning, but he always thought that so he supposed he was biased. She was wearing her vault suit instead of the Nuka Girl outfit, her excuse was that it was more appropriate. Deacon didn’t think it was much different, it hugged her figure just as much, but she’d zipped it up all the way which was new. Her armor pieces were in the pack on Deacon’s back, he was worried about her being shot. That was before he’d lined her new suit with ballistic weave. 

“We don’t know who or what we’re gonna find in there, Vanessa. Who knows, maybe we’d be better off going in butt naked, or covered in mole rat guts.” The British woman threw her head back and giggled, squeezing his arm gently. “You always know exactly what to say to make a lady blush, Deacon.” He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand and flashed a grin, “I pride myself on it, you’re not the only charmer.” 

She bobbed a curtsy, and he bowed in return. The intercom crackled to life mere seconds after Vanessa had pushed the button. She was startled, and nervous, were she really about to find a relative? Or a synth of her… She couldn’t bear to think of it.

“Yeah? Who is it? What did you do to the bot?” _A ghoul?_

“Um… Uh, the bot?” 

“Yeah, did you destroy the Sentry bot?” 

She looked around. Deacon pointed to a hulking metal figure in the corner, between the hedges. 

“Oh. No? It’s inactive.” 

The line was silent for a moment, Vanessa waited with bated breath, not daring to make a sound in the hopes she would hear something of use. 

“I’m letting you in. Need to know why you didn’t trip the security systems, if you pose any kind of threat, be warned you will be shot on sight.” 

The line went dead. 

“Well, that was easier than I expected. Didn’t even have to whip out the mole rat guts.” 

Vanessa didn’t feel like laughing. She simply stared dead ahead at the door, as various locks sounded from inside. It then swung open. 

A ghoul in combat armor wearing a flatcap stood in front of the two, he looked over the pair and frowned. “Oh. It’s you again. The woman from the Third Rail. So, you ready to take that job now?” Vanessa tensed, and rubbed her face, trying to think back to the time she met the ghoul.

The last time she’d been in the Third Rail had been… She looked over her shoulder at Deacon; he shuffled uncomfortably and pretended to look at something off in the distance. _Ah_ , _that night._ “Ah, yes, of course. If we may be allowed inside?” 

In truth, she barely remembered that night. Or what the job was. Or even _who_ the ghoul was. But, if it would get her inside, and closer to finding a lead on the synth or whatever the fuck was going on; she’d take it. 

“Of course. You’re gonna have to speak to the boss though, he’s a little quirky but he means well. Just try to treat him with respect.”

“Edward, _darling,_ who is it?” _British? Edward?_ Vanessa frowned and rubbed her forehead, trying to think. The only Edward she knew was…

“Oh just some hired help, Camilla, can you send the boss down please?” Vanessa clapped a hand over her mouth and Deacon came up behind her, pressing a hand to her back. An all too familiar woman stood at the top of the stairs, a woman who took Vanessa’s breath away. 

It was like looking in a mirror. Kinda. The two had always looked similar, even more so after Mila had her surgery, but even though she was the younger sister, Camilla had always looked older. A higher arch in her brows that had always made her look more severe and more rounded lips. 

“Cam… Mila?” 

“V _anessa?_ ” 

She dropped the glass of red wine in her hand, it bounced once on the top step. “Oh my God.” Vanessa walked closer to the staircase, and Mila picked up her black dress around her hips and moved down the stairs. “Well, you’ve barely aged a fucking day. So selfish you are Nessie.” 

_Same old Mila,_ Vanessa thought to herself. 

“Vanessa? Oh shit, Mrs French, I’m sorry I didn’t recognise you, it’s been well over 200 years you see and-.” She cut him off. “It’s Ms Everly now.” 

Mila tutted, now standing on the ground in front of her sister, hand on him, “you got rid of Nathaniel then? Such a waste, Vanessa, he was always such a lovely man.” 

She bit back the insults on her tongue and the bile rising in her throat, and simply smiled, the way she always had when dealing with her sister’s spiteful jealousy or her mother’s… Well, her just being herself. “It’s good to see you too, Mila.” Camilla’s face crumpled, showing the faint wrinkles around her mouth and eyes, before she threw her arms around her. “God, where have you _been,_ Vanessa? It’s been… So long, I thought I… How are you _alive_ ? And still so _fucking perfect!?_ ” 

Vanessa hugged her sister, wrapping her arms around her waist, “cryostasis. It happened in our vault, we… At the time we didn’t know what it was. I got out a few months ago. And you? You’re a,” _synth,_ “kept alive by a funky serum the Cabot’s have. So yes, the rumours were true, they’d cracked the code on immortality.” 

_The Cabots?_ Well that meant, ah, Edward was now a ghoul, obviously being the help he wasn’t granted the same special treatment when the bombs fell. But she was certain it had said Mila was a synth, but now she was saying she was being kept alive by a serum used by the Cabots? 

“Oh, so, you and Jack are still…?” Camilla turned up her nose, glanced at the stairs, and then over at Edward, before back at her sister, “technically, I suppose we’re married now. Although we never had an official ceremony. Jack is still just as interested in his conspiracies and Wilhemina didn’t find it appropriate to have a proper ceremony, what with everyone being dead and all. So I went for a wander around what remains of the world, lost my arm, turns out people are much more savage now than they were,” she waved the synthetic arm in front of Vanessa. 

In fact Vanessa hadn’t even noticed the arm, but looking at it now, it reminded her of Nick, or the Gen 2 synths. 

“I even went to see Vegas, that place is _remarkably_ still standing, apparently that handsome gentleman Robert House is still alive and is operating it, you met Robert, right?” 

“Yes, I worked with him once, well, I did an advertisement for Rob-Co and he,” “yes yes, no need to _brag._ Well, after that I stayed here for a while, visited DC about ten years ago, or what remains of it anyway, met the two strangest children, they were from a vault, said they were looking for their Dad or, I don’t know. I think they went on to help the Brotherhood with something big which is just wonderful because now the Brotherhood are _here_ trying to cause a war on our doorstep and… Hang on, where are Nathaniel and Shaun?” 

Vanessa flinched, she was so used to being surrounded by people who either knew, or just didn’t ask, that she hadn’t even heard their names in a while. 

Except for inside her own head. 

“Na… He was shot. In the head. Shaun was taken from us… 50 years ago, I think. Give or take.” Camilla’s eyebrows raised, which didn’t do much for her face, and only made her wrinkles worse, “well… So you stayed perfect and your only child grew to be older than you. What a twisted turn of events.” Vanessa bit back insults yet again, as what looked like a smile graced her face for a moment. Deacon moved closer and pressed a hand to Ness’ lower back, seeing she was close to snapping. 

Edward chose to intervene. 

“ _Mila…_ You’ve just found out your sister’s son, _your nephew,_ was stolen from her. Now is not the time for…” “For your petty _fucking jealousy_ .” Deacon cursed quietly behind her, digging his fingertips into her side slightly. “And do I not have a reason to be jealous, Vanessa? You got everything, always, and even after the world has been fucking _nuked_ you’re still getting everything.” 

“Camilla I’m not interested in your little tantrums. Mother and Father gave you everything you wanted, they paid for your surgery for Christ’s sake. They paid for you to start your career, I got mine all myself!” “Yes, because _your career_ was little more than sex-work.” 

It was all too much, her sister may have aged above her physically, at _least_ ten years, but emotionally? She was still a petulant child. 

Vanessa let out a breath she was holding and sighed. “Camilla, I cannot believe that after finding out my husband was killed and my baby was stolen, you still insist that I get everything. You have not changed, I suppose I should find comfort in that.” 

“Oh fuck off Vanessa, you didn’t love him anyway. I’m sure this is great for you.” 

“I’ve made a mistake in coming here. Camilla, if you ever want to grow up, and fix what little relationship we have, you can get in contact with me, I’m not exactly hard to find. Send a letter to the Red Rocket up by Sanctuary or something. Edward, it was an absolute pleasure to see you darling, send my love to Jack, Wilhemina and Emogene. I shall bid you all farewell.” 

“Vanessa are you sure-,” Deacon interjected, but was cut off by her raising a hand. He followed her out once she bobbed a curtsy, and pulled the front door shut behind them. “I’m sorry your sister was…” “Nonsense. I should’ve expected it when I thought it was my mother standing there. Even with all the plastic in her face she still looks like her. So much so with all the damn wrinkles.” 

They walked. Silently. Deacon didn’t know where they were going, and he kind of assumed Vanessa didn’t either, but it seemed they were heading up towards Sanctuary and the Red Rocket. After that? He didn’t know where she’d go. Maybe she’d go get that promotion with the Brotherhood, more likely he assumed she’d be taking the next tram out to Nuka World. It concerned him, but it’s not like he could change her mind. 

For him, Vanessa was too far gone. She’d slipped through MacCready’s fingers, and now his, because she couldn’t look at him the same since she’d found out about their baby. The gentle, pre-war housewife was becoming a raider at heart, and now she’d murdered Danse in what could probably be described as cold blood. Deacon knew (he’d seen it happen to himself), he knew it was only a matter of time before she was lost. And he didn’t know what would be able to bring her back. 

*

She had taken them to Red Rocket. It was Fiona who rushed out to see them first, her auburn plaits bouncing on her shoulders. “You’re still here.” Her face dropped a little and she sucked in a breath, “uh, yes, is that um-,” “I’m glad. I’m glad I get to see you again before you move on.” Vanessa hugged the younger woman, ruffled her hair, and then walked past her.

MacCready was next to greet her, but she didn’t respond, simply smiled and squeezed his arm, before going to sit down on a sunlounger. He plodded after her, sitting down much as he had the day he’d been the one to comfort her after the miscarriage. 

“What happened?” She looked over at him, he held a cigarette out to her, she took it and turned her face towards the sky. “Danse was a synth.” “Was,” he repeats, she nods, “right, and I’m assuming Maxson thought you knew? What an ass.” MacCready wasn’t dumb, he could work out the rest for himself. 

“Well, Curie has decided to become an honorary member of the railroad. Or at least the little ragtag group you’ve set up out here.” Vanessa took a deep drag from her cigarette, letting it out through her nose. For some reason she was reminded of X6 telling her how it would kill her the last time she was in the Institute. “I’m assuming her blossoming relationship with Victory played some part in it. And how does Fiona feel about that?” 

Mac’s shoulders dropped a little, his feelings towards Victory were… Complicated at best. He’d liked her, but he shared the same sentiment she did, unsure of whether their relationship was purely platonic or if there was something there. All he did know was that she was happy with the other synth, and that made him happy. It was the same way he felt about the pre-war woman sitting in front of him.

“Fiona? Oh, the redhead. Yeah, she’s happy Curie’s happy. Says she doesn’t know if she’ll be moving out, but if Curie wants to stay that’s good with her. She’s like you, wants to help people, gets antsy when she thinks there’s a lot to do.” Vanessa snickered, flicking her cigarette ash into the ashtray on the table between them, “what makes you think I want to help people?” 

He rolled his eyes at her, this self-deprecating bullshit bored him sometimes. “Travis and the Minutemen can call you the Raider Queen as much as they want, but you’re not a raider.” That made her wince, and she took his hand over the table, squeezing it tenderly, “you think too highly of me.” If he knew some of the things going round in her head, he wouldn’t disagree that she was a raider. 

“I am zorry but you really mustn’t walk around ‘ere without permission! Zhis is private property sir!” Curie was causing a fuss up by the gate, it had attracted Fiona’s attention and Victory had come out of the main building to investigate too. 

“Monsieur! Please do not aggravate us ‘ere, like I zaid, zhis is private property and we withhold the right to attack you for trespassing!” “Yeah well Piper told me to come here, said Vanessa was here, the old Minuteman general?” Now Vanessa had a more vested interest in the commotion, she moved over to the gate and MacCready followed close behind. 

“There you are. Long time no see. Piper told me to bring her here,” “Well Piper is telling a lot of people to come here, I think I should probably ask her to stop. Erin, right? You’re the little Diamond City boy? Such a cutie as always.” 

Erin’s face heated up, and he remembered why he tried to avoid her at all costs, and it _wasn’t_ because of the raider talk. She liked to tease, and be generally fucking annoying. “Yeah well, this chick is from the Capital Wastes, she’s standing outside the gates over there cause she thought y’all would kill us,” “hang on, you said she’s from the Capital Wastes?” 

Erin looked MacCready up and down, squinting for a moment. He scrunched up his nose and shrugged. “Your mercenary work made you go deaf, ‘Cready? Yeah, that’s where you’re from, right?” Mac nodded, Vanessa looked between the two before butting back into the conversation. 

“You brought her here because?” Erin shrugged, ran two hands through his hair, and looked out the gate, “look, she doesn’t have anyplace to call home, she doesn’t have a good relationship with her parents and the only real family she ever had is… Well I’m sure she’ll tell you when she’s ready. She just wants a quiet life, I think, figured your settlement would be best because she won’t be hounded by the damn Minutemen.” 

He shrugged again, “she isn’t useless, either. Knows her way around a cooking pot, can brew her own chems, I know she’s grown crops before and she’s a damn good shot with her plasma pistol _and_ a Chinese assault rifle. I’ve also seen her go for a mutant hound with a baseball bat so it’s not like she’s gonna cause you trouble or not be useful.”

Vanessa rubbed her forehead, before smiling with a sigh, “of course she can stay, I mean, after a speech like that how could I say no, bring her in. Oh, and you must stay the night _at least_ Erin. It’s getting late.” 

Mac laughed, watching Vanessa as she flounced off towards the building before turning back to Erin, who was mouthing something to someone round the corner. He could remember when he was like that with Vanessa, all easily flustered and stubborn and grumpy, now his grumpiness was mostly playful, and he didn’t mind her teasing and fussing so much. 

His laughing stopped however, when Erin brought the older woman through the gate. She had to be in her late twenties, although the grey streak in her obviously self-cut reddish hair only aged her. He tried to keep his eyes off the way her vault suit hugged her hips, and the fact she had a cropped tee barely covering her chest. “Everyone, this is Maple, Maple this is everyone, cool, introduction. Let’s go.” 

_Maple?_ MacCready knew that name, but he couldn’t place where from until - “Maple? As in like… Astor was it? As in like, the Lone Wanderer?” 

Maple turned around, and quirked one eyebrow (the one with the piercing and the scar), tilting her head to the side, “hah, yeah. Don’t go ‘round telling everyone though, our little secret.” She stepped closer and squeezed his arm, “oh! You must be from DC then? You look too young to have been from the Vault, or Rivet City.” 

With an awkward smile and a sigh, Mac pulled his hat off and ran his fingers through his hair. Maple squinted, before smiling slightly, taking a step closer to him. “No way… No _fucking_ way! It can’t… Little Mayor RJ MacCready, is it really you?” Her somewhat unsettlingly large blue eyes widened, and welled up with tears. 

Meeting your hero is always strange, and kind of awkward. This is only amplified when you had a massive crush on your hero when you were like, twelve, and she’s now extremely attractive, the last time you saw her you screamed profanities at her (because you were an angry little twelve year old with too much to prove) and you kicked her best friend in the shins because you _again_ had a crush on her and you were jealous. Not to mention the fact she’s talking to you like you’re still a child and kind of… _Crying_.

“I’m uh, I’m not so little… Anymore, but yeah. It’s so fu- freaking good to see you, Maple.” Maple squealed, and threw her arms tightly around the younger man, she was way stronger than she looked and he had to suck in a breath rather suddenly before hugging her back. “Do you not curse every three words anymore, RJ?” He cleared his throat and chuckled, shrugging awkwardly, “I’ve had to grow up a lot,” “well I suppose we have so much catching up to do then, sweetheart.” _Damn,_ he swallowed the lump in his throat, _that nickname hits way different now than it did before._ He caught Vanessa’s gaze over Maple’s shoulder. She fixed him with one of her famous unreadable expressions, before seemingly rolling her eyes and wandering into the truck stop. When they pulled away, she gently pressed a hand to his cheek, and smiled, “you still have your freckles.” 

And with that, she skipped off after Erin. Literally. She _literally_ skipped.

  
  


“Vanessa, you need some help? Uh… Hey, Deacon.” 

"'Cready."

With one eyebrow raised, she looked at the younger merc, “who’s the girl?” “I thought your sister was supposed to be the jealous one.” Deacon had said it mostly under her breath, but she’d clearly heard as she elbowed him in the side, _hard._ “Whoa! Charmer, careful! You’ve got a knife in that hand,” “if I had meant to have stabbed you with it, I would’ve.”

She returned to chopping the carrots, they had a lot more people to cook for, so this was going to be an interesting experience. “Well, her name is Maple,” “Mac, I know that, Erin told us, how do you know her?” “She’s the Lone Wanderer. Like, the equivalent of you but from 10 years ago, and from DC, and you know, not like 300 years old.” She tutted and rolled her eyes, pushing the chopped carrots into the pan. “Oh, and there were two of them. They both came to uh, to Lamplight, where I grew up, and… Well she’s the cooler one.” 

A grin spread across her face, “you like her!” She sang, in an absolutely mature way. He shook his head violently, and scowled, “Vanessa shut the fu-, be quiet.” Snickering, she took some of the tato’s from Deacon, having decided he was taking far too long, “well I do need to set you up with someone new, I am incredibly disappointed in how my matchmaking skills have let you down already. In fact… _Maple!_ ” Mac threw his hands up in the air, giving her a very unhappy look, “Ness what are you d-!” 

The other woman came in from outside, smiling brightly at the group. The smirk on Vanessa’s face made MacCready want to punch her. He reminded himself that he respected her too much to do so, and that he would never hit a woman. “Maple, darling, Erin said you knew your way around a cooking pot. I was curious, did he mean generally, as in, you can cook and it not be life-threatening, or are you like, genuinely good at it?”

Vanessa had a way of making things that would sound rude coming out of anyone else’s mouth, not sound rude. It was a talent really.

“Oh! No it’s one of the few things I am actually talented in. I can brew enough chems to satiate a junkie and I can cook. And I suppose I can be a pretty mean batter in a game of baseball. I do tend to make things rather… Spicy though, if I try to make a hearty family meal it tends to just taste, bland… We all have our specialities.” 

“Did you bring your spices with you? We have a whole heap of supplies in the fridge but I don’t know what you need.”

“I do indeed, ma’am. But I can see what you guys have too.”

“Excellent, Deacon, scram, Maple is going to make us some spicy med-veg and I’ll focus on the roast Yao-Guai.”

Deacon threw his hands up in the air, but the grin on his face showed he was more than happy to do so. Mac decided it was now to try to enter back into the conversation, “Ness! Do you need help or can I blast?” 

She had that glint in her eyes that meant she was scheming. 

“Well last time I let you help me cook, you almost amputated your finger. _But,_ don’t you want to stay and chat? I can imagine you two have some catching up to do, and I’d love to hear about your time in DC! Oh Maple those smell amazing already, you’d make _such_ a good wife, any man would be lucky to have you!”

Forgive her slightly sexist remarks and remember she is from a time where women were expected to be subservient to their husbands. In fact, as you probably have deduced, Vanessa is a fairly strong woman, but even she gave in to her first husband.

MacCready glared at Vanessa, but didn’t dare argue, and sat down on the bed, and the two of them regailed the Sole Survivor with tales of the Lone Wanderer and little Mayor MacCready.


	24. Chems, Children and Cretins

Radstag and iguana kebabs sizzled on the makeshift barbecue set up in front of Red Rocket. The smell that slowly spread around the compound led to both MacCready and Erin sniffing around like hungry dogs. To make that association more amusing, Dogmeat had joined them, and was sitting between the pair, giving Vanessa puppy eyes in an attempt to be given scraps off the barbecue. Vanessa playfully remarked that the two young men were doing the same thing, and that made them huff and stalk off in a sulk which was enough to make her giggle, in spite of how agitated she was feeling inside. 

The kebabs had been prepared by Maple, who insisted on leaving them to marinate overnight. Since leaving the freezer, most food Vanessa had prepared had been from fresh (she’d toyed with the idea of using the cryo-pod as an actual freezer but the idea of facing her husband again made her sick), she knew that in her world an infection or virus or bacteria from ill-prepared or just from food in general could kill. Now, when she barely had access to any form of medication, unless it was herbal antimicrobials she made herself from other wasteland refuse, the risk of death from simply eating was drastically increased.

However, Maple ensured her that it would be fine, that the food would be covered and that she’d done this hundreds of times before. MacCready had piped in and said that at least she didn’t have to worry about house flies laying eggs in the food like she would’ve had to before, as they were now the size of a small dog. That didn’t do much to help her confidence, but she knew Maple had lived and grown up in the wasteland, and she trusted her judgement. 

Also she thought she was kind of really hot? Vanessa has always been a sucker for a pretty face (maybe she hit her head at some point, considering Porter Gage isn’t your typical supermodel). 

Curling her fingers around the rope, she rang the bell. Apparently Victory had found it at some old school building. The original plan for the bell was to use it to alert everyone to danger, but instead it was mainly used by Nessie to announce when food was ready. Or by Deacon to piss everyone off. Mac and Erin were the first to come out, with Dogmeat on their heels and Codsworth following suit, clutching a pot of what Vanessa assumed was yet another attempt at making a tea she’d enjoy from the natural flora. 

Curie and Fiona were next, babbling about something whilst Victory just smiled and very obviously fawned over the other synth. Maple was with them too, clearly stoned out of her gourd wearing square mirrored sunglasses, a sun visor and having finally taken off her leather jacket, wearing only her vault suit tied around her waist, with that scrap of fabric Vanessa could only describe as maybe a strapless bralette that barely covered her chest. 

The pre-war woman decided it was best to avert her gaze. 

The only person missing was, “hey Charms,” “Deacon! You scared the shit out of me!” He snickered and ruffled her hair, “food please mommy,” “shut up.” She begins plating up, handing one to him and motioning for him to go away, he grinned and went and sat down. 

Once everyone had a plate, Vanessa got herself a kebab, and flopped in her lounge chair, sunglasses on her face. Maple came and sat with her. “You’re wound up tighter than a Giddyup Buttercup, what’s your poison?” She plucked a piece of Radstag off the stick, and stuffed it into her cheek. “I drink, I smoke. I throw myself in front of bullets.” Maple laughed from her belly, and turned her head vaguely in Vanessa’s direction; “I think you might be lying, Van’. C’mon, I can get you whatever you want. No charge for a friend. Lemme guess…” She pulled off her sunglasses, and then Vanessa’s, and studied her face closely. 

_ The very intrusive thought of kissing the other woman made Vanessa intensely frustrated.  _

_ She made a mental note to head back to Nuka World ASAP. _

“Med-X… No… Something softer, not Daddy-O, no need for a charisma boost so no kind of mentats either, ah! Calmex. No?” Vanessa flinched, snatched her glasses back and pressed them firmly on her face, “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” “Van’ I know an addict when I see one.” “I’m  _ not! _ ” She sighed and lowered her voice, “I’m not… An  _ addict.  _ I may have been  _ once _ . My husband was involved in the chem trade, and if I were to…  _ Pick my poison,  _ it certainly wouldn’t be Calmex. Terrible drug.” 

Maple giggled and popped a chunk of tato into her mouth next. “No? What did you have in mind? You want to be smarter? Braver? Stronger?” Vanessa picked at the kebab, frowning lightly. “I mean, with the coming battle, the things I need to face, being generally stronger would be incredulously helpful, but… No.  _ No.  _ No chems, that isn’t the right thing to do.” 

“Van’ don’t be stupid, I huff more jet than those children of Atom headcases, and I’m fine.” Besides her passivity and arguable laziness, Maple was indeed fine. “Look, with a bit of acid, a couple bottles of nuka cola and some doses of psycho, I can whip you up a funky little chem they call Overdrive. It doesn’t exactly taste pleasant, but you won’t be eating it.” Vanessa cocked a brow, and looked over, chewing her lip, “injectable?” Maple nodded, finishing her kebab, “you let me know, I’m pretty sure I’ve got everything I need, so…” “You can teach me how to make it?” Maple grinned, “you got a brewing stand out back right? Then yes, yes I can.” 

And so, although it was arguably the stupidest thing Vanessa had done since being thrust into this cold, uncaring world, she allowed herself to get hooked onto a chem renowned for its incurability and sheer number of negative side effects. 

*

“Right, crack open that anti-freeze. Thank you, in it goes, yeah just bung it in.” Maple watched as Ness did as instructed, and grinned. She bumped her hip against the nuka cola machine and the door swung open for her to grab a bottle. “Van’, you’ve gotta learn how to make a freezer, cold nuka cola is a blessing and I didn’t realise how much I’d miss it.” Ness nodded and held out a hand for the cola. “Oh! Right! So the cola is used to cut the acid. If you uh, if you do this wrong, you could die so uh, pay attention.” 

“Okay, and now, into the syringes, yeah you got it. There! You done it!” Vanessa beamed up at Maple, who snickered and bumped her hip against the other woman’s. “So y’know you’re in the raider business already, maybe we should get into the chem trade.” 

Vanessa narrowed her eyes, “I don’t understand your morals,” “neither do I. Chaotic neutral my little blonde friend, chaotic neutral.” Vanessa supposed they could agree on that at least, that’s how she’d probably describe herself. Although she was beginning to think she might be leaning towards the less savoury side of the scale. 

“What are you ladies up to?” It was MacCready, he leant against the wall and took a deep drag from his cigarette and raised an eyebrow. Vanessa glanced over at Maple, who seemed very much unfazed, she walked over to Mac and squeezed his arm, smiling brightly and pushing her glasses up on top of her head. “Hey  _ baby _ , you are divine I could eat you up,” she gently pinched his cheek, “we’re doing a little science experiment, nothing to worry about, love.” 

It clearly took a moment for Mac’s brain to kick back in from the physical contact. He sucked in a breath and looked over at Vanessa. And then the chemistry station. “Hold on, science? Are you two brewing chems?” He furrowed his brow, “Ness you don’t do chems.” She scoffed, “Mac, your best friend is a ghoul pirate who has never been sober a day in his life,’ “right, but Hancock isn’t-,” “isn’t what, Mac?” 

He shuffled uncomfortably, “you know…” “Alright, not to worry you two. No need for a lil’ scrap over here. Van’s got her chems, end of, come on Mac honey you can tell me more about Boston.” She loops her arm through his and drags him off, pulling a face at Vanessa over her shoulder.

*

The rest of Vanessa’s busy day of trying to relax was fairly uneventful until Preston decided to ruin it.. 

“General.” “Oh for shit’s sake. What is it, Preston?” She was intending on ignoring him, but he was standing directly in her sunlight, casting a large and aggravating shadow over the top half of her body. She plucked her sunglasses from the bridge of her nose and raised an eyebrow at him. 

“You’re looking well General, if you’ve got the time, there’s a group hoping to settle down over at Kingsport Lighthouse-!” He was cut off when the blonde raised a hand, “Preston, are you trespassing here just to tell me this?” 

The Minuteman cleared his throat and shuffled his feet. When he first met the pre-war vault dweller she seemed friendly, ready to help others, pretty damn selfless. But in the previous months something had changed, and he wasn’t sure what had caused it. 

“No, I just thought you might be interested is all. B-But the reason I came here is cause there’s a uh, strange man up at Sanctuary asking after you. Sunglasses, long black coat.” Vanessa’s first instinct was Deacon, but the spy always knew where she was. And she’d already seen him earlier today. “Ugh, you’re all so fucking needy.” 

She swung her legs off the sunlounger and got up, grabbing the rocketsuit top and pulling it on over her sports bra, jamming her feet into her heeled boots. “Alright, alright. Dogmeat! C’mon boy! You’re with me.” With a smile, she rubbed the dogs ears, and set off down the road behind Preston. 

The man looking for her was not who she would’ve anticipated. “Father’s mother.” “ _ X6 _ . Fucking  _ Christ _ . Come on.” She wrapped a hand around his wrist and pulled him down away from the houses. “What the hell are you doing here?” “Father is issuing a truce. He wants you to come back to the Institute.” “ _ Ha _ ! And why on Earth would I do that? He and his little team disrespected me, X6, you saw it.” Dogmeat growled and pressed his side against her legs.

“Yes, however, he is offering information you may deem interesting as a show of good faith.” He awaited a response, she waited for him to continue. The courser tilted his head to the side, “I’m listening,” he nodded once. “I am given to believe that up there,” he pointed to his left, “is the site of Vault 111. The vault you were held in with your husband and Father when he was an infant? I thought as much. Father’s records show you are not the only survivors from such a place.” 

Well that…  _ Was an interesting development _ , but surely to God it was bullshit. Vanessa tensed up and wrapped her fingers around the handle of her sword. “What are you talking about?” “Do you suppose we investigate, ma’am?” 

She stammered and stuttered for a moment, before releasing her sword. It slid back into its scabbard. 

“Fine. But if this is some Institute trap I swear X6 I will have your head and the heads of all the division leaders. Might even mount them on a nice spike,” “spoken like a true raider, ma’am.” She flinched and glared at him, before turning off in the direction of the vault. Was she really becoming a raider?

That  _ was _ a pretty raider thing to say. 

The vault wasn’t a long walk, but as she neared the gates surrounded by skeletons of her former neighbours, she realised she hadn’t been there since that day. “Is something wrong, ma’am? Are you experiencing emotional and/or mental distress due to returning here? I feel inclined to inform you that there is an excellent therapist back at the Institute.” She waved a hand in his direction and moved into the security booth. 

“Go stand on the lift, Dogmeat go with him. I’ll press the button and hop down.” Dogmeat barked and trotted after X6. She flicked up the plastic covering and hit the lift button. The lift whirred to life with the sounds of 200 year old machinery trying to support itself. Sirens blared from inside the vault, and Ness ran over to the lift just as it started to move, dusting off the mud that had been kicked up as it began to move again, months after its previous use, and years after its intended one. 

“This vault was an experiment into investigating the effects of cryostasis on the human body, correct?” Vanessa nodded. “What were the findings?” The small smile on her face dropped instantly, and she let out a slow, deep sigh through her nose. “Well, X6, as you can see, not good. As everyone else is fucking dead.” The lift stopped, and she waited for the bridge to roll out before walking across. “Ah, but as we are about to discover, this is false, ma’am, you are not the sole survivor,” “I like that nickname.” 

They didn’t talk again as they moved through the vault, until they reached the room she’d been held in. Nate’s dried blood was still clear as day on the floor. She gagged and staggered away from the doorway, pressing her hands over her mouth, “ _ fuck this _ . X6 what the fuck are we looking for? And  _ where _ ?” The courser blinked at her and looked around the vault, “I already told you ma’am, possible survivors in Vault 111. This way,” and off he turned down a different corridor, “are you coming, ma’am?” He didn’t stop when he asked it.

Glazed eyes dragged across the room, taking in the sights of where her husband was shot and her baby was ripped from them. The body wasn’t visible from where she was standing. She’d put him back in the cryopod and closed it all those months ago. But it was just knowing it was there that made her feel so unsettled. Should she have buried him? Was it wrong not to? She supposed, in a way, the vault had become his tomb, and the tomb for many of their friends and neighbours. Vanessa decided to tell herself that it was no different to the ancient Egyptians leaving their pharaohs in the pyramids. 

“Coming!” Dogmeat whined and licked her leg, “oh, it’s alright buddy, mama is alright.” With a sweep of her thumb over his ears and forehead, she smiled and bent down to kiss his head. “I’m alright, come on, let’s go find that mean ol’ synth.” 

He was waiting in one of the rooms, inspecting the cryopods. “I haven’t been in any of the other arrays. I guess I never thought to look at all the dead bodies of people I barely bothered to learn the names of. It just makes me feel pretty shitty. And nobody remembers them today, it should be me to do so, right?” X6 turns towards her, and narrows his eyes behind his glasses. Any other situation and Vanessa would’ve been amused that the only emotion he ever seemed to convey around her was contempt. Or perhaps boredom.

“Ma'am, that is rather unreasonable, if not moronic. These people died many years ago, and their lives had no impact on ours, or even on the old world, remembering them won’t bring them back, or make them any less insignificant.”

He was administered with a steely cold look which would’ve made even Mason back in Nuka shrink, but the synth barely even blinked. 

In fact he didn’t even acknowledge it, and just walked down further into the room, and rapidly typed at the terminal. It made her think of the only other synth she knew to be capable of using a terminal; Nick Valentine. 

She made a mental note to either see Nick again to apologise for the last time they interacted, or to shoot him right between those glowing gold eyes that at times, still plagued her.

“Well, it seems Father’s data was correct.” “Wait… Really? So there really  _ is _ someone who is also alive in this God-forsaken underground death chamber?” “I do believe that’s what I said.” Her boots clunked on the metal floor as she scampered over. “Which pod is that? The second to last on the left?” Vanessa would’ve needed to count them, but X6 simply glanced around the room for about two seconds, before determining, “fourth from the end, left hand side.” 

He walked behind her. The pace was a little slow for him, but he was well aware of how the smallest thing could set her off. Commenting on how slowly she walked was definitely one of the small things that would make her go wild. Without valid reason. 

“I’m not sure I want to look.” “Well ma’am, I could look, but that would be useless, I wouldn’t recognise anyone from your time.” “I mean, it’s unlikely I would, but I if either of us are going to recognise them, it’s going to be-, oh my  _ fucking Christ! _ X6! Get back over to that terminal and check this is the right one!” 

He does as she instructs, but seeing as he is a synth meant to obey Father’s every command, was there ever a possibility he would’ve refused? “This is the right pod. I don’t tend to make mistakes. I would be faulty if I did. I am right to assume you know her? Female, nineteen, and, oh, interesting name-.” 

“X6! Open the  _ fucking _ pod!” 

There was a rush of cold air that hit Vanessa. Her bare stomach rippled with goosebumps and she took a step back as the door opened. The woman inside lurched forward into Vanessa’s arms, “is it over? Decontamination?  _ Yikes, it _ was cold in there.” A dry sob coming from our  _ Sole Survivor  _ made the woman look up. “ _ Oh,  _ Nessie, I’m so glad you managed to get in, I didn’t see you earlier. Where’s my brother, then? And my darling little nephew.  _ Christ  _ are you not cold in that? I feel frozen, even through this funky little suit.” 

The doe-eyed brunette in her arms made Vanessa’s heart  _ ache.  _ “Annie… Oh Christ, you’ve… We’ve got a lot to catch up on.” 

*

Now wearing a pair of camo combat trousers and a white vest, Vanessa’s sister-in-law was sitting cross-legged on one of the deck chairs, a cup of Codwsorth’s hubflower tea clutched in her hands. She was coping…  _ Remarkably well.  _ Her amber, upturned eyes gawking at the post apocalyptic truck stop around her. 

X6 had warped back to the Institute with the message of  _ “maybe”  _ from Vanessa, even though she realistically had no chance of going back to them. So far she’d gotten fairly attached to both the Brotherhood and the Railroad, and neither agreed with the Institute. Although she  _ definitely  _ didn’t agree with the Brotherhood, particularly due to recent events. It finally showed her that they really did mean it when they wanted literal genocide on synths everywhere.

Vanessa herself had moved into the truck stop itself to have a team meeting of sorts, whilst Curie, Erin, Maple and Fiona tried to give Annie a fresh perspective on the new world, seeing as Ness was somewhat biased. 

“Look, Charms, we need to think about this rationally, what is the likelihood that your husband’s sister survived the vault too,  _ and  _ the Institute just happened to know about her?” When he said it like that, it did make Vanessa worry. She looked out the garage door at the brunette, who was smiling and chatting away with the others.

“Y’think she’s a spy? I mean, Institute’s gotta know that Charmer has had some interaction with us, they gotta know that we’re the only people who coulda decode that chip.” Victory seemed fairly calm, although it wasn’t clear if she ever wasn’t this cool. The only one who had seen her break down was MacCready, and he wouldn’t ever tell the others. 

“But why? Why would they do that?” 

“‘Cready buddy you don’t understand, you’re a merc with no real allegiance to anything.”

“Deacon what the  _ fuck?” _

“Ness, don’t, it’s fine, he’s right. Never been loyal to a fu-freaking thing in my life. Not to my wife, not to my son, not to you. And definitely not to the Railroad, even though I’ve been here helping Victory move  _ packages.” _

He lit up a cigarette and leant back on the couch, shrugging once. 

“It’s whatever. But I meant specifically why your crazy ex-husband’s sister?”

“Because my sister was a synth… And Deacon thinks she’s either a spy, or some kind of trick or manipulation the Institute is attempting on me. He has no faith in me or my intelligence.” Deacon rolled his eyes behind his glasses and let out a sigh, “Charms, it’s not that and you know it. But don’t you think it’s a little suspicious? I mean we just met your sister and she clearly didn’t work at manipulating you since you don’t get along, and now your sister-in-law, who you got along with far better, is somehow the only other survivor from your vault?” 

“Is there a way we can like… Check if she’s a synth? Because that’ll solve all of the problems here.” Victory shook her head and closed her eyes, “naw sugarcube, not without Institute records or jus’ straight up murdering the lil’ lady. But she’s far too pretty for tha’.” Deacon snickered and rolled his eyes, “I mean, she could always tell us, but that’d make her a pretty bad spy,” he thought for a moment, “or a pretty bad manipulator. Or good? Depending.”

“I’m not killing her. Regardless. I mean, even if they did recreate both my sisters as synths… What’s to say that’s bad? It could be a genuine truce on Shaun’s part? Or even if it wasn’t, if we know synth’s can achieve consciousness, what’s to say they aren’t made with it?” Mac scoffed, “weren’t the synth finder guys pretty sure consciousness was a fluke with the synths? So how would they have been made with it? Uh, no offence, Vi,” “none taken sugar.”

“The SRB? Well, they’re admitting they fucked up if they admit synths have consciousness,  _ shit,  _ no offence Victory, my love,” “yup, again, none taken, I get it Charmer.” The group fell into silence, but Vanessa interrupted it,  _ typical,  _ “I mean, I really don’t want her to die, but if there is somewhere we need to send her, where she won’t be able to uh…  _ Spy?  _ I can think of a place. It’s somewhere I will still be able to visit her, and  _ hell  _ she can still come here, but she won’t pick up on any information that would pose a risk to the Railroad. In fact, she’d probably even enjoy it, given her pre-war aspirations.”

“Charms what are you thinking? Spit it out.” 

“The Brotherhood.” 

“Oh yeah, because so far they’ve done fu-freaking brilliantly with synths you care about.” 

“Mac, sugar, too far.”

“Sorry, Ness.”

“It’s not… The worst choice.”

Everyone looked at Deacon for a moment, unsure (as always), whether he was being serious or not. “Well, you said she wanted to be in the military right? So at least she’ll enjoy it. If she’s as like you as you say, she’ll be too headstrong to be brainwashed by Maxson, and since she clearly loves you to bits she’ll be way less likely to brutally murder you or anyone you care about.” 

“What an eloquent and beautiful way to put it, Dee,”

“I thought so.”

“She did always have a teeny crush on Maxson anyway,”

“So did you. On both Maxson’s.” 

“Shut the fuck up. Right, time to pitch the game plan, don’t scare her off, cretins.” 

“Do you ever understand what she’s saying?”

“Hel-heck no.”


	25. Behemoth

“I can’t believe Roger Maxson is _still_ _alive_.” 

“Annie I love you, but I really wish you’d listen to me. It is  _ not  _ Roger Maxson, it’s like his great-grandson I think. Arthur. He’s… Well, I’m sure you’ll get along better with him than I ever did.” 

Annie’s clothes had been fitted with a ballistic weave by Victory before they’d left the settlement, and she’d also been given Vanessa’s old laser rifle. She’d realised after giving it to her, that it was Righteous Authority, and it felt wrong to ask for it back. After all, she didn’t use it. And she supposed as she was now sponsoring her sister in law into the Brotherhood, the way Danse had for her, it was fitting to pass on his gun in his memory. 

She knew that before, Annie had wanted to join the military with her brother. Their parents had obviously not allowed that. But, it meant she knew she had some degree of knowledge of firearms, and she knew Nate had gotten her a laser rifle to muck around with. 

“So this Brotherhood… It’s like the army, right?” Vanessa nodded, and pulled her sword out to cut down a bloatfly, “and like, girls are allowed to join?” “Yeah, no more casual sexism, thank the Atom Bomb.” Annie laughed, and shot down another bloatfly with surprising accuracy, “sick,” “truly.” 

Vanessa had always found it amusing how she had kept the english twang like Nate’s mother had, but hearing it now was even more baffling. She supposed that was how everyone else felt when they heard  _ her _ speak. 

“You joined the Brotherhood?” “Yeah, I wanted to join the military when we moved over here, and again when I was…  _ Uh _ , a  _ little _ younger than you are. Mother naturally wasn’t going to let that happen.” Annie nodded, she supposed she could relate to that, she’d always related to Vanessa in some small way, and saw her as the older sibling she’d always wanted, especially since Nathaniel was so much older than she was. “I was getting damn close to joining the military, in fact, papa was going to let me next year. Or… Hang on, when is it?” “Uh, off the top of my head, late January of 2288.”

“Well I was meant to be going into army training in two months. Gosh, this  _ sucks _ .”

“Truly.” 

They continued to make their way to Boston airport. They were about halfway, and although Vanessa  _ could’ve  _ just used some signal grenades and hopped on a Vertibird; she wanted to check how Annie could handle herself in the new world, and it meant she would’ve had to go see her power armor again. She hadn’t seen nor used it since the day she lost the baby. She figured it would remind her of such, and it was yet another thing she was trying to push to the back of her head and  _ ignore.  _ Ness was well aware of how unhealthy that was, but she didn’t have the time to healthily process and work on everything she’d been through.

“I… I heard about Nathan.” Vanessa glanced at her out of the corner of her eye. She was wildly chewing her lip and trying not to make eye contact. “What did you hear?” “No, uh, specifics. B-but! If I had known… Vanny,  _ truly _ , if I had known, I would’ve said or done something, I’m sure mama would’ve too.” 

_ Probably not.  _ Nate’s mother hadn’t liked Vanessa very much. It was never particularly clear why, maybe because she was a lot younger than Nate, or maybe it was because Nate and Annie’s father liked her for all the  _ wrong reasons. _

“Oh, Antoinette, do not blame yourself, my dear. It wasn’t all bad. And truthfully, what could we have done? Nobody would’ve listened to us.” 

“Sexist pigs.”

Vanesa sighed and chewed her fingernails, watching for any signs of raiders before moving through the streets, “truly”. 

“On a lighter note,” she grinned over at Vanessa and clapped her on the back, “I heard there’s a  _ man _ . At first I presumed it was MacCready, but seeing how he fawns over Maple, who might I say, is  _ strangely attractive,  _ right? Like, not conventionally, the straight nose, unproportioned lips, distinctive eyebrows and the  _ grey hair.  _ Why is the grey hair weirdly attractive like, if I was a lady lover, and a fair bit older, y’know-!” “Annie, back on topic.” 

“Oh shit, yeah, sorry, um, so yeah, not MacCready. It definitely wasn’t uh, is it Erin? Judging from how he can barely look you in the eyes, and so my next guess was the uh, the creepy one. Deacon. I don’t think he likes me much, just kept watching me and wouldn’t speak much and… Unnerving.”

Vanessa had forgotten how much the younger woman liked to ramble.

“But I don’t know. He’s not… I just don’t see you guys as endgame. I think there is something there, but will it ever come to fruition? I don’t think so, because I can tell there is someone you’re fawning over. So  _ spill,  _ sissy.” 

A dog barked somewhere off in the distance, and luckily Faneuil Hall had not had more super mutants living there since it had last been cleared out, so it significantly cut down the danger of their journey. 

“He’s a raider.” 

“Oh. Well, does he make you happy?” 

“Unintentionally I suppose. We aren’t like… Together.”

“Do you trust him?” 

An interesting question. One Vanessa didn’t know if she really thought about. He’d come to find her when she was taken. He had her back. And he never gave her reason to not trust her.

“With my life.” 

“Then I don’t think anyone should feel like their opinion matters. I’m happy for you regardless, you know that. We’ll always be sisters.” 

“Always?”

“Hell yes, Vanny.” 

They linked arms and continued to walk, almost to the ruins of the airport now. 

“Paladin Everly,” “requesting Vertibird passage onto the Prydwyng.” The power armor clad Knight nodded, “and your companion?” “I’m sponsoring her into our ranks.” He nodded again, and motioned for the pair to move into the airport. Annie was almost literally buzzing with excitement, finally getting the opportunity to join the military that she had always wanted. And the airport was exactly what she dreamed it would be like. 

“Hang on… Vanny are we getting in the Vertibird?” With a grin, she turned towards her sister in law, “ _ perhaps _ .” Annie sharply sucked in a breath, and spun round to look at the bird, “you bloody  _ spoil _ me.” She squealed loudly as the Vertibird whirred to life, and grabbed hold of Vanessa’s arm, squeezing it gently with both hands. “Nathan took me on one once, crazy. I bet you’ve ridden them loads out here, I’m so jealous, do you love it?” Vanessa chuckled and walked up towards the Vertibird, before climbing up into it, offering her hand to help Annie up. “I mean, every time I’ve ridden one so far, something bad has happened, so I try to avoid it.” Annie nodded and sat down next to her, eyeing the minigun turret curiously. “If you ever fly long distance, you’ll be allowed to man that turret,” “sick,” “truly.”

  
  


“Where’s Kells?” 

“Paladin Everly! It is good to see you ma’am,”

“Yes, yes, where’s Kells?” 

The Knight shuffled uncomfortably, it was somewhat well known that Vanessa was temperamental, and that her and Kells were often at each other's throats. Annie was standing on the bridge, peering over the edge. 

“Below deck on the Prydwen, ma’am.”

“Excellent. Annie, come, we’re going to see Elder Maxson.” 

“I heard you were aboard, Paladin.” Vanessa sighed, she’d spent the short journey up to the Prydwen trying her best to prepare herself to speak with the Elder again. She found him infuriating, he wasn’t anything like she remembered Roger being like, and she could barely stand to be around him after the events that transpired that involved Danse. Her stomach turned and she pushed a hand through her hair, clearing her throat. “I’ve brought a new recruit, I have personally sponsored her, she can have my quarters and power armor, if there are issues with this please let me know, I’m not saying I’ll listen or argue, she  _ will  _ prove useful here.”

Elder Maxson raised a brow, and nodded once, “and you are?” “Antoinette French, and might I say it is  _ awesome  _ to meet you, I always looked up to Roger and it is  _ crazy  _ to meet his descendent.” Maxson raised both brows this time, and glanced over at Vanessa. She shrugged, flicking through her Pip-Boy map. “She’s… Like you?” “From my time? Yeah.” “French? Your sister?” “In law. Vanny was married to my brother.” 

“And why do you think she’ll be of use?” 

“If I might interject, Elder, I have both medical and combat training. It isn’t extensive but I can imagine it’s more than what your typical initiates have. Vanny also told me the Brotherhood has a focus on tech and energy weapons, well I have a proficiency with energy weapons and I also have some degree of knowledge of Old World tech, nothing extreme but… Yes.” 

Vanessa grinned, she was glad that Annie had a backbone, she knew the younger woman would give the Elder a run for his money, in terms of being just as difficult as she was. “That’s pretty much what I was going to say, so I’m going to assume that we’re done here?” 

“Get her a uniform. Paladin, I trust your judgement,  _ however _ , you had a task to prove your mettle, so will she.” Vanessa rolled her eyes and scoffed, “I went on a jog and picked up some old tech, it was hardly proving my mettle, and you clearly didn’t trust Paladin… Nevermind. Whatever, fine. I’ve got an extra uniform in my,  _ well _ , now  _ your _ room and I know it’ll fit you.” She turned on her heel and hopped down the ladder, Annie scampered after her and followed her into the Paladin’s quarters.

“Uh, a lot of whisky and bourbon. I didn’t know you drank either of those,” “I don’t, this wasn’t my room until very recently, I haven’t touched it, besides moving some of my stuff in here.” Annie looked around and sat down on the bed, whilst Vanessa looked through her trunk at the front of the bed. Her armored dress was still in there, and underneath were two Brotherhood jumpsuits, one black and one orange. She handed the orange one to her sister-in-law and stood back up, sighing gently, “I’ve got some extra combat armor pieces, which should hold up fairly well, but you might want to learn some basic repair to keep it up to scratch, I know you’ll be alright with your guns. Alternatively, you can just earn some caps and buy it all new, you will be paid for your work here.” 

Vanessa turned her back and inspected her PipBoy whilst Annie got changed, “caps?  _ Oh,  _ bottlecaps, right? I can’t believe  _ that  _ became the currency of America, I wonder what the currency is back in England, huh?” “Beer cans.” The two giggled and once Annie was ready, the two headed back to meet with the elder.

“Paladin, you return, with the Initiate. If she proves herself today I will be willing to promote her to Knight. You will be going with Knight Captain Larsen, he is to report back as well as you Paladin, to confirm what you say.” Some variant of insult directed towards him distrusting her danced on the tip of her tongue, but she bit it back, forcing a smile, “ok, what’s the mission?”

“Behemoth sighting, south of Walden Pond.” 

“Wh-...  _ What? _ ”

“You heard me.”

“She isn’t ready, not for a fucking Behemoth, Maxson, you must see that.”

“I fought a Deathclaw when I was thirteen, Everly. If she really is as competent as you both claim, she’ll be fine, especially when you will be there to help, and Larsen will be there only to assist if completely necessary. Dismissed.”

“But-” “ _ Dismissed. _ ”

Vanessa hopped down to the lower level, Annie awkwardly saluted before running off after her, “ _ Vanny,  _ aren’t we meant to be going that way?” “Yes, but he doesn’t want to play fair, so we’re going to bring out the big guns,  _ literally. _ ” 

She followed her back into the Paladin’s quarters, where Vanessa opened one of the metal cupboards. Inside? A Fat-Man.

Annie whistled, “whoa, wait, is that-?” “A Fat-Man launcher, yes. If he’s going to put you up against quite possibly the biggest threat in the wasteland, well, I’m going to give you an edge. It’s only fair.” 

It was heavier than she expected, but not so heavy that she couldn’t carry it. “Oh, this might be the best present I’ve ever gotten,” Vanessa laughed and motioned for her to follow, “I don’t like to keep the ammo around, so I’ll get you a shell, you better use them damn well. I know you’ve got good aim, but firing one of these is more like a bow and arrow, you gotta watch the ammo drop. I was never strong enough to properly use one.” 

She poked the brunette’s bicep with a smile, before leading her through the ship down to Proctor Teagan. “Sorry about Danse, Paladin. You were lied to more than all of us. Congrats on the promotion though.” He saluted. Vanessa silently did the same, before dropping a substantial bag of caps onto the counter, “one Fat-Man shell.” He looked taken aback, frowned slightly at Antoinette, but handed the shells over, “be careful with ‘em, Paladin,” “I don’t need a safety lecture, Teagan.” 

  
  


The fans of the Vertibird roared overhead. Vanessa was manning the turret, Annie had wanted to, but she was now in the possession of a Fat-Man. Ness searched the ground below, hoping they could get the drop on the Behemoth, like they had the day she’d properly proved herself, over at Fort Strong. So far, no luck. 

“So what actually  _ is _ a Behemoth” Vanessa squeaked and glanced over her shoulder, “ _ shit,  _ sorry. It’s basically a big fuck off super mutant. And I mean  _ big,  _ they are huge. Wait, you know what a super mutant is right? Ok good. Now I’d recommend if you see one of these things to just avoid it like the damn plague, but for some reason the Brotherhood are… idiots. They’re idiots.”

Knight Captain Larsen glared at her, she raised her brows, “what? I’m not wrong.” There was a bellowing cry from below. “Aha, there we go. Pilot, get us down quickly as possible, these things like to throw rocks and I’d rather die on the ground than be flung from the air. Gory. Annie, load that launcher up.” 

The machine gun turret made her body shake as she fired it, the bullets shredded the back of the Behemoth, but it seemed unfazed. It roared and spun around to see the Vertibird, and hurled a rock from the ground. “Huh, it’s like stonehenge. But gross.” Annie peered over the edge, “huh, you’re right. Made of old junk and cars and stuff.”

The Vertibird veered wildly to the left to avoid a rock, “ _ Pilot!  _ Get us on the ground!” “Yes Paladin-” “ _ Now _ !” The pilot regained control and quickly made a descent to the ground, Annie fumbled with her rifle, making sure it was safely secured to her back, as she raised the Fat-Man. “Vanny, get your head down, uh, please!” The paladin looked over at her and squealed as the Fat-Man shell flew just past her head, “Annie! Are you  _ fucking insane!  _ You could’ve-!” She was cut off by the sound of the Behemoth bellowing and an explosion, as the mini-nuke hit it and exploded. 

Vanessa jumped from the Vertibird just before it landed, and Antoinette followed suit, both squinting from the bright light of the miniature nuclear explosion. “No way… Is that thing…  _ Still standing _ ?!” Vanessa made a noise that sounded like a snarl, and pulled the handmade rifle she’d gotten from the Pack from her back. Her sword wasn't going to take that thing down. 

With Problem Solver in one hand, she slammed one of the Overdrive syringes into her arm, injecting it before throwing it off to the side. She swung the rifle round and turned it on the Behemoth. Antoinette was a little shell-shocked, but managed to regain control, tossing down the launcher and grabbing her rifle as well. The two women from another world threw themselves into the line of fire, as resilient in the new world as they had been in their own.

They felled the Behemoth, and Vanessa sighed, pulling her flask from her belt. It was most certainly not filled with water, and Annie knew that, but she wasn’t going to say anything. Knight-Captain Larsen clambered off the Vertibird and jogged over. The older man looked between the two of them, “impressive. The way you handled that Fat-Man was quite remarkable for someone of your size and stature.” Annie glanced at Vanessa, who had popped her sunglasses on her face, she shrugged. “Uh, thanks?” “We should return to Elder Maxson with our reports, Ad Victoriam initiate, Paladin.” Vanessa murmured an  _ ad victoriam  _ in response, Annie did the same, but with significantly more passion.

  
  
  


“Judging from yours and Larsen’s reports, your mission was a success, Paladin. I did not anticipate your use of a Fat-Man launcher, Initiate, but if you are capable of wielding one with such ease, it seems your claims were correct.Therefore, I am pleased to promote you into the Brotherhood, congratulations and welcome, Knight French. Ad Victoriam.” 

“Ad Victoriam.” “Dismissed.”

Annie followed Vanessa back down into the ship, and into the canteen. She got them both trays of food, and led her over to one of the tables. “Congrats on the promotion, Knight!” 

Shouted Haylen as she ran over, sliding in next to Vanessa with a tray of food of her own. “I’m sure you’ll love it here, Everly has… A complicated past here, but she  _ knows we’re not all bad _ .” The end of her sentence sounded odd to Annie, and she frowned at Vanessa who opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by Haylen as she continued. 

“We value  _ loyalty,  _ here, uh,” “Annie. French,” “French. You would do well to remember that, don’t go and… I don’t know, betray your sponsor, don’t, like, kill them or anything.” Vanessa pushed her chair out and huffed standing up straight, “Haylen this is  _ not  _ the time  _ or  _ place. Stop it.” Her heart rate had quickened and she was trying desperately to stay calm. To not completely lose her self control. She was already known for being temperamental and the last thing she wanted was to put Antoinette at risk or ruin her chance and reputation with the Brotherhood before she had a chance to properly prove herself. 

“Everly I just don’t… _Why?_ ” She had lowered her voice, and Vanessa sat back down. Annie was confused, “ _why_ _Danse_?” There was that name again. Annie remembered Proctor Teagan had mentioned _Danse_ when they’d bought the mini-nuke. And now Haylen was implying Vanessa had betrayed him, and that maybe even he was her mentor. “Haylen, I didn’t have a choice. You have to believe me on that.” 

She pushed the flavourless, grilled vegetables around the plate on her tray, her eyebrows drawing together. Her forehead wrinkled. It aged her, in fact, it made Annie remember that she wasn’t barely out of her teens just as she was. 

“I never pegged you for one of those synth-haters. Although I never really pegged myself as not being one until Danse… God I just… Can’t believe he’s gone.” Haylen pressed her face into her hands, her voice barely more than a whisper. If they were caught talking about Danse in this way, they could be written up,  _ or worse.  _ Elder Maxson would probably call them synth or even Institute sympathisers. It was arguably treason. 

Vanessa wrapped an arm around Haylen’s shoulder, pulling her into her side. “I’m so sorry,” the scribe said gently, “I can’t even imagine how that must’ve been for you... “ “I tried, Haylen. I was going to move him out of the ‘Wealth. I have  _ people… _ Ugh, I had a  _ plan _ . Maxson caught on.” Haylen squeezed her forearm before pulling away, Annie felt a little uncomfortable, and quietly picked at the food on the plate. She didn’t know what the meat was, after seeing some of the creatures the wasteland had to offer, she wasn’t sure she wanted to know. 

“So,” both women had regained their composure, “are you two staying long?” Annie smiled at the scribe and nodded vigorously, “heck yes! Or at least I hope so, or, at least, I am? I think.” “You are, I’ve… Got things to do...  _ out of town _ .” Annie tried to hold back the smirk that playfully danced across her face, “things to do? Or  _ thing _ ? Or hing… him… Uh… The man.” Vanessa chuckled and tore at the slice of bread, popping shreds of it into her mouth, “mayhaps,” she frowned down at the time on her PipBoy and let out a sigh, “I don’t want to have to leave you, Annie, really I don’t, but I am needed in so many places at once. Haylen, could you show her ‘round? Show her the ropes.”

She got up from the table. The Prydwen always made her feel suffocated, even before. Not only that but they felt kinda, racial-genocidey to her, especially now she was friends with synths  _ and  _ ghouls. 

“You’re really going so soon?” “You know me, can’t stay still.” Annie nodded, and got up, “at least let us walk you to the Vertibird?” “Yeah! I never get to say bye when you go, Paladin.” Vanessa nodded, and beckoned for them to follow, taking the two snack cakes off her tray and stuffing them into one of the pouches on her belt. The slice of bread she kept hold of, and continued to tear pieces off and stuff into her cheeks, much like a hamster.

“Vanny, I feel like I just got you back and you’re already going… I know it hasn’t been that long for me but... “ Vanessa smiled and wrapped her arms around her sister (in-law), “Annie I’ll be back, and you know you can visit Red Rocket whenever you like, same to you, Haylen. No guarantees I’ll be there, but you will be well taken care of.” 

Haylen joined in on the hug, clinging to Vanessa and Antoinette as tightly as her slender arms could. “Don’t you worry, Paladin, I’ll keep her out of trouble. She’ll succeed, and do so,  _ so  _ well with us,” “I don’t doubt it, Haylen,” “and I’m sorry,  _ really.  _ For… Everything. What happened with Danse, that I assumed you did it of your own volition, I’m just... “ Vanessa shook her head, and patted the scribe, “stop. It’s in the past. We must keep moving onwards, getting caught up in things we cannot change is how we die in a world like this.” 

She fiddled with her belt, and then tugged the top of her rocketsuit up to better cover her chest. It had ballistic weaving, but even so, a bullet straight to a tit would hurt. The time read that it was well past midday, she would have to set up camp for the night before returning to Nuka World. But it made no sense to stay here, she wouldn’t get to the park well into tomorrow afternoon if that were the case. “Annie… It’s… It’s so good to see you again. To have someone from the old world, it means so much. Haylen take care.” 

She climbed up onto the vertibird, and blew the pair a kiss, smiling brightly and waving as it pulled away from the docking station, “till next time, ladies, I bid you adieu!” 

  
  


The journey was quiet. A few super mutants opened fire, and were effortlessly destroyed by the turret. Besides this, a few gunners, and two mirelurk hunters who attempted to spit acid at the ‘bird, but they were unsuccessful. And they ended up like the rest. Dead.

It landed just outside the tram station, and waited for a few minutes for Vanessa to give the all clear. The pilot had wanted to stick around in case it had been repopulated with Gunners, however, luckily there were none. This was likely because Vanessa had ordered Red-Eye to stop the broadcast of the Nuka-Family radio signal. It made no sense to attract more rogues to the park, not when it was still not properly cleared out. 

She saluted the pilot and he did so back to her, before taking off. With a slightly nervous sigh, and awkward shimmy, she decided it was time to head into the tram. The sun was more than set now, and she was actually feeling rather tired. She’d gotten up early to travel with Antoinette to the airport, and then they’d had to fell a  _ fucking Behemoth  _ of all things. 

The thought had crossed her mind that she was also coming down from the shot of Overdrive she had pumped into herself earlier, or maybe some type of craving for more of the drug. She only managed to comfort herself by recognising that she hadn’t actually considered slamming more into her veins. So at least she knew it wasn’t cravings as a result of an addiction. More likely it was just plain exhaustion. Vanessa had a habit of going and going and not stopping until she simply couldn’t continue. It wasn’t healthy. She knew that.

But would it change? Unlikely. 

A camp was already set up inside the tram station, she lit the fire, and pulled the tattered blanket from her pack, dropping it onto the old mattress. The bed up at Fizztop  _ was _ comfier, but walking into a park full of raiders was especially dangerous while tired, even if she was the Overboss now. The tram journey would take a few hours anyway, it had to go far slower due to its age. It wasn’t like she was in that much of a rush anyway, she could imagine that nobody in the park was particularly happy with her, least of all Gage. 

She didn’t know what to say to him.

Yeah. Nuka World could wait a little longer.


	26. Something Worth Fighting For

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut-heavy chapter, emotional fluff and stuff towards the end <3

The sounds of the PipBoy radio floated through the old tram station. Vanessa stirred. Sitting up, stretching, and wiping the remnants of sleep from heavy-lidded eyes. Dust particles danced in the air through beams of light that got in through cracks in the walls. In that moment, in the peace and tranquility, Vanessa could almost forget she was in the wasteland. 

Hubflowers were tossed into a mug, and put on to boil. Her legs were tucked up against her chest and she turned up the volume on the radio. Setting it up to work as an alarm clock had been a stroke of genius, and woke her up much more nicely than the stupid generic alarm setting. She pulled the two snack cakes from her pouch, and bit into one. It was powdery, and had gotten a little stale from not being properly covered. But, it was as enjoyable as 200 year old food could be. 

She pulled out her tin of Rad-X, and popped one before eating more, she still hadn’t completely gotten used to irradiated food, and radiation sickness was still a very real issue in her life. The water from her mug began to hiss angrily, and Vanessa swiftly put a glove on to scoop it off the fire. A quick scavenge through her packs and she found another of her small metal tins. This one contained some old sugar cubes, they were likely expired, well, not likely, they were definitely expired, but they would do the job. 

They were dropped into the mug, and once it had cooled down, she propped herself against the wall and sipped at it. The second snack cake was dunked into the tea with it. So far, hubflowers had proved the most enjoyable, but Codsworth was still searching for the perfect recipe. Nothing seemed to compare to the chamomile teas she’d had back home. 

Once fed and watered, she decided it was time to stop procrastinating. She still didn’t know what she was going to say if thrust into confrontation, but even so, there was no sense worrying about it. She would have to return sooner or later. Her things were stuffed into her pack, and she hopped onto the tram, pulling a lever at the front in the drivers carriage. The tram pulled away from the station, and sped off in the direction of Nuka Town. 

A few Operators lurked at the front of the park. If anyone were to attack, it wouldn’t be them. She sucked in a slow breath, and let it out, before moving on, heels clicking on the old pavement. “Overboss, it’s so good to see you back,” “yeah, I’m just hoping you can sort out those damn dogs, they’re so aggravating and they make a mess all over the place,” “oh God yes, simply repulsive, oh, we should let you know ‘Boss, they aren’t too happy with you, you’re going to be met with some trouble once you get further in.” 

Vanessa blinked a few times, before smiling at the two Operators, pushing a hand through her curls. “Thank you, it’s good to be back, and trust me, if those dogs cause me any problems, I’ll put them down.” The two Operators cackled and one of them clapped her on the back, “you’re alright, Boss.” She smiled brightly and moved past them.

The Operators were right, the minute she got past the market, the Pack was on her. Surrounding her like a pack of wolves on a small antelope. She folded her arms over her chest, and quirked an eyebrow, a bored expression on her face. “Can I help you?” “ _ Wow,  _ great to see you back,  _ Boss.  _ Long time no see, I think Mason’ll be interested to know you’re back.” She scoffed, and one of them moved closer. A scrappy, but tall, guy, with wild pink hair and a pair of goggles over his eyes. “Heh, yeah,” he grabbed her wrist, and pinched her ass, “sure he wants to  _ play again. _ ”

A bullet shot rang out across Nuka Town, and a few of the traders turned to see what was going on. The Operators from the front gate ran in too, one holding his sniper rifle tightly in his grasp. Murmurs rang out across the crowd of the Pack as Mason came charging out of the Ampitheatre, fists clenched. 

Vanessa tucked her pistol back into it’s holster on her thigh, and huffed a breath out through her nose. “Overboss? What the fuck is this shit? You can’t go shooting my guys!” The pink haired man had a hole in his forehead, and she was holding him by the top of his shirt. “I can shoot whoever I want, Mason. Especially if you rats want to put your hands on me, you know the damn rules. You! Trader, grab me some rope from the market.” He did so, and returned less than a minute later, thrusting it into her grasp. 

She didn’t even look at Mason as she pushed past him, still holding the collar of the pack. She wrapped the rope around him, and strung him up from one of the old lamposts, before silently making her way into Cappy’s Cafe. She needed a drink. 

She spent about an hour trying to calm down, and wallowing in some degree of misery. The worst part was, it felt good. The rush she felt from putting the raider down was delicious. It made her heart rate quicken and her palms sweat but it felt  _ damn good.  _ Her fear about losing herself to the wasteland was long gone. Lauren smiled and patted her shoulder, putting the rest of the bottle of wine she’d been drinking on the counter. “On the house, it seems like you need it.” 

She’d always gotten on well with the older woman, ever since she’d arrived at Nuka World. She gave Lauren a fair bit of business at the  _ Cafe _ , and she didn’t let the other raiders harass or bother her, whenever they tried to, Vanessa would always sort them out. Not to mention, she didn’t make her wear the shock collar, nor did she threaten her with it like Colter always had. 

Vanessa nodded to the bartender, and got up from her chair, swinging her bag off her shoulder and stuffing the bottle into it. It was time. She swallowed her pride and left the cafe, and began her march up to Fizztop. The Operators nodded at her as she passed, and the Disciples did much of the same. They kept their distance. They had some knowledge of what had happened earlier, a few of them had been there when it happened. She made her way into the old building (the outside elevator wasn’t down), and hopped into the elevator. 

The speakers crackled with the distorted music that felt oddly soothing, despite it being like something out of an old horror movie. Maybe it was just because the old theme park had become like a home to her. It was where she felt most comfortable. She actually missed it when she was away. Why? 

_ Why? _

The elevator chimed as she reached the top floor, and the doors shook as they slid open. A cloud of smoke filled the top of the room. She could see Gage’s legs, the top half of his body was concealed by the screen he’d always had set up. His armor pieces were slung across the floor around the table. She assumed he was asleep and beelined for the patio. 

_ Oh how wrong she was. _

“Nuh uh, this  _ ain’t  _ fuckin happenin’.” He was by her side, with a hand wrapped tightly around her forearm before she was barely inside the patio. “Get your hand off me!” He only tightened his grip and she let out a whine, digging her nails into the back of his hand as hard as she could. He hissed through gritted teeth and dropped her arm, she quickly sprinted through the door and tried to slam it behind her. He caught it. 

“Vanessa! For fucks sake! What the  _ hell _ are y’playing at?” She glared at him, a hand pressed to the top of her arm where he’d grabbed her. “This ain’t happenin’, y’ain’t jus’ gonna waltz back in here, blow some pack idiot’s brain’s out, string him up for all t’see, and then not even say hi.” 

He turned his face away, folding his arms over his chest, scowling. “I mean, y’jus’ left me here. You been gone ages and the fuckin’ park ain’t even cleared out and… Damn, I didn’t know what was goin’ on. Hah, kinda thought you were abandonin’ me or some shit. Thought we had more trust than tha’.” 

She moved her hand from her arm to the pearls around her neck, fiddling with them as had become somewhat customary when she was nervous. The movement didn’t go unnoticed by Gage, in fact, he was a little surprised to see she was wearing the gift he gave her. She had a new scar too. Red, and angry, so recently healed, right through her eyebrow, and her hair had grown back, it was now to her shoulders, and he realised he’d missed it.

_ Shit, he’d missed her. _

“I told you I was leaving,” she said coldly, rubbing what she knew was a bruise forming on her arm, “you  _ knew _ I was going. Why are you being like this?” He’d tried to be nice but sure as shit she was trying to provoke him again. “Yeah! But I didn’t fuckin’ know if you were  _ comin’ back! _ ” She groaned loudly and dropped her pack, taking out the bottle of wine and grabbing a glass from behind the bar, “ _ and  _ not only are you drunk already, but you’re drinkin’ while I’m tryin’a have a fuckin’ conversation with ya’. I swear you try to be the most fuckin’ unbearable woman ever.” 

She laughed callously, and raised the glass to her lips with a hand that was shaking as if she were a damn chem addict. Gage, obviously, wasn't having any of that, and snatched the glass from her hand. When she tried to grab it back, he hurled it off the balcony. 

“What the  _ fuck  _ is wrong with you? Ugh, you raiders are such fucking  _ animals _ !” It was his turn to laugh this time, as she took a step closer to him, “well, I got news for you,  _ Boss,  _ you  _ are  _ a fuckin’ raider!” She spat at him, which only resorted in him grabbing the lower half of her face, fingertips pressing into her cheeks. She shook her head in an attempt to get him off, to no avail, he grinned down at her as she simply scowled at him. “You gonna calm the fuck down, now?” 

This time she spat, she got him right in the face. He squeezed her face harder and wiped his face with the back of his other hand, scowling down at her. “You really  _ are  _ unbearable,” “that’s rich coming from you.” He leant over her, their faces close together, her eyebrows drew together even further before ceasing. And suddenly.

Their lips met. 

Properly this time.

It was frantic, and needy, as if both were in a frenzy, and out of control. Months of tension between the two melted away as they clung to each other in desperation. 

He let go of her face and quickly swept everything from the top of the bar, before dropping her atop it. His hands then found her waist, she wrapped her legs around his, pulling him as close as she could. “I hate you,” she murmured against his lips, “right back at you, Overboss.” He rolled his hips against hers and grabbed the bottom of her rocketsuit top. He tugged at it absent-mindedly and she growled, biting his lower lip,  _ hard _ , “tear it and I  _ will _ hurt you, and  _ not _ in a way you'd enjoy.” 

He let out a chuckle that sent a shiver right down her spine, and tugged her top off over her head, he grabbed her tits as they bounced. “I’m feeling a little unfairly exposed over here.” Without a word, he ripped the tank top. Vanessa noticed it was the one with the hole in, from when they cleared out Nuka-Galaxy, and he was cut by the rogue Mr Handy. There was still a scar on his abdomen from where she stitched him up. Her fingers barely ghosted over it. His grip on her chest relaxed, and his expression softened, for just a moment. Gage unbuckled the belt on his jeans and tossed it to the ground, Vanessa did the same. 

She pushed him off her, and he staggered backwards, fixing her with a confused expression. Slowly, the zips on her boots were pushed lower, and she kicked them off. Then her pants hit the floor. A lopsided smirk curled on his face, and he nodded, taking a step towards her. “C’mere, Nessie.” It was the first time he said her nickname since she’d come back, and it made her falter for a moment, her heart rate picking up. But, even so, she took a step to the side. “ _ Nessie. _ ”

The innocent expression on her face made him grin, as she took another step to the side. “I ain’t gonna chase ya,” “you sure about that?” She moved again, and then he lunged to grab her, missing as she leapt onto the bed. “Ah, I see what you’re playin’ at.” His fingers wrapped around her ankles, and he pulled her down the bed. She responded by wrapping her legs around his waist. One of his hands slid up her body to rest on her throat, squeezing one of her tits along the way. 

“Y’ trust me?” 

“With my  _ life _ .” 

Her breath was hot and ragged already with anticipation. He flexed his grip and squeezed, his other hand slipping between her thighs. She mewled out his name, looking up at him with heavy lidded eyes, and blown out pupils. Gage moaned gentle encouragements as her eyes rolled back and she desperately tried to drag him closer with his legs. Vanessa was close to begging, She was oh so needy, and he was driving her oh so wild. 

“Look at you… Too fuckin’ perfect.” 

It wasn’t what she was expecting him to say. In fact it startled the Overboss. She tried to focus on his face through her hazy vision, but he seemed just as away with the fairies as she was. His eyes met hers and he released her throat for a moment, in the back of her oxygen-starved brain, she was grateful for it, but some primal part of herself was desperate for more. 

He seemed unfazed by what he said, his thumb ran along her bottom lip, before pushing into her mouth to rest on her tongue. She whined deeply and suckled on it, her eyes on his. He groaned and palmed himself through his jeans. They’ve both been thinking about it for a while. It’s not like this is the first time it almost happened. But both have had their reserves.

For Vanessa, it’s that she’s afraid to love again. Or not even to love, she’s afraid to care again. For Gage, it’s much simpler, why would someone like her want to be with someone like him. She’s a surprisingly capable leader, as pretty as a picture (literally, just look at the posters), and he’s well, a raider. People can call her one as much as they like, but deep down, Gage reckons she ain’t one. Not proper anyway. She’ll just do what it takes to survive. 

But she’d spoken to him about it, that day he’d told her about his parents,  _ and  _ the day he’d drunkenly tried to hook up with her. And what had he done? Grunted something along the lines of “I don’t know, wait and see”. Well that had been a right asshole thing to say, and he knew that. But he’s a raider, the most serious he gets with someone is sleeping with them more than once. And now he’s looking down at her, and he realises he wants to hold her. And he hasn’t given himself enough time to convince himself that doing that would be so wrong.

_ He hasn’t given himself enough time to convince himself that they would be so wrong. _

_ You’re acting without thinking,  _ he tells himself,  _ you’re a damn idiot.  _

He tells himself that she’s too much for him to take. That he shouldn’t be this close. He  _ ain’t worth it.  _

“Too fuckin’ perfect.” He repeats. Different, though, this time, and he’s met with one of her hands on his face. She’s pushed his thumb out of her mouth and is looking up at him like he’s some kind of God. Pure adoration and reverence shining in those eyes which he realises are actually blue, not grey. He doesn’t deserve it but-, “you’re beautiful.”

He tenses up, not sure how to take the compliment. And obviously, he doesn’t know how to act. His fingers wrap around her throat again, and she grins, red lipstick smudged wildly across her face. She’s  _ challenging him.  _ She growls, despite the hand wrapped around her throat, and digs her heels into his back, pushing his jeans down. Vanessa is simply hoping it doesn’t end after tonight, for her it can’t. She craves him. She needs him.

He needs her too. Especially as she lays there bare in front of him, the only thing touching her body besides him was the pearl necklace he’d given her. 

“You sure?” It’s a simple question, but she understands. “Yes. Oh  _ God  _ please, yes.” He nods, and pulls her closer, he’s trying not to hurt her but she’s so damn fragile and he’s quickly losing self control. The motion is smooth, it’s only one roll of his hips, and  _ fuck  _ she’s tight. “ _ Christ, Porter,  _ you’re so big.” He moans at the compliment, his head lolling backwards in pure bliss. He’s not even halfway yet, and she’s writhing and twisting pathetically, in a desperate attempt to have  _ all of him _ . He’s never seen her like this. The weakest he’s ever seen her is when he’s cutting bullets out of her. But this, this is something else. He realises it’s  _ him  _ that’s driving her wild like this and he is loving it. 

He lets go of her throat and grabs her hips, pulling her flush to him. Vanessa sucks in deep breaths, her chest heaving with each one as she tries to refill her lungs with what Gage has stolen from her. He quickened his pace, she’s small, especially when compared to him, so he didn’t even need to move his hips, he could simply move  _ her  _ by hers. 

His pace became relentless, and Vanessa’s arms flew from the bed to wrap around him, pulling him as close as she could. His face was mere inches from her, the gaze from her eyes was burning him. Pointed nails clawed at his back in desperation and he filled her completely.

Gage pulled out, and Vanessa whined at how damn empty she felt. She sat up straight, and for a moment he thought she was going to hit him, or jump his bones. “ _ Porter… _ ” It sounded more like a threat than a plea, and he sat on the bed behind her, propping pillows up behind his back. Vanessa watched, before crawling closer on her hands and knees. A single kiss was pressed to his thigh, and he realised that it was her way of asking him for more. 

“Come on up, Boss.” She straddles him, and he grabs her ass for balance as she wobbles precariously on her already tired legs, and suddenly he’s buried in her again, and it’s her turn to toss her head back. Messy blonde curls bounce as wildly as her full breasts, and  _ Christ,  _ he can’t believe it’s all for him. Curses begin to fall from her lips as she rides him, and he finds himself fascinated by the bump that shows up in her tummy with every bounce on his cock. She wants to grind herself against him but she’s already more than lost control, babbling incoherently between moans, “y’literally don’t shut up, do ya?  _ Shit,  _ it’s kinda hot, fancy broad like you, having completely lost her shit over me, a dirty  _ fucking raider. _ ” 

“ _ My  _ raider.” She manages to choke out, along with a cacophony of curses and mewling moans. And then she comes undone. He feels it, as her hips begin to jerk and shake, and he pulls Vanessa close to him. Gage can feel her heart pounding against his, and the way she grips around him almost sends him over the damn edge, in fact he actually impresses himself with how well he’s able to hold on, and the minute she seems to have calmed down a little, he (reluctantly) pulls out, groaning gently. 

Vanessa wiggles off him, and before he has time to react, her lips, still stained with lipstick, are wrapped around his cock. “ _ Christ,  _ you’re going to kill me.  _ Shit, Nessie,  _ that’s it,  _ atta girl _ !” He loses his metaphorical hold on himself, and before he has a chance to get her off him, he hits his climax. The expression on her face is a picture. A mixture of shock and delight. And she pulls away, staring up at him with an exhausted expression. 

They need to talk about it, they both know that, but when she curls up against his side, and closes her eyes for a moment. He doesn’t stop her. And in fact, despite his brain trying to rationalise with him otherwise, he wraps his arms around her. The important conversation can wait. 

*

Gage hadn’t realised he’d fallen asleep, especially not for so long. But when he glanced out of the balcony, and saw the orange sky, he was particularly confused. “Nessie?” The bed felt strangely empty without her. “Nessie?” He repeated, much louder this time as he began to grow a little concerned that he’d bolted again. Or worse. 

“Oh. You’re awake! I thought as much. I made supper.” She poked her head around the privacy screen, tilted it to the side and smiled. “I didn’t think you would be out that long, but I also didn’t think you’d be out much longer.” She disappeared again, but moments later returned with two plates. “I remembered you mentioned deathclaw egg omelette when we were clearing out Nuka Galaxy. I’ve never tried it before, but I did pay a pretty penny for the eggs, so it better be good.” 

Vanessa sat on the bed in front of him, and handed him the plate. He grunted a “thanks”, and took the plate from her. He remembered their conversation about deathclaw egg omelettes, and in fact he remembered that he had been joking. Telling her that seemed unnecessary. “I was jokin’.” He did it anyway. “I ain’t never tried them either,” her expression seemed concerned, and he furrowed his brow to think of the correct thing to say, “uh, if it’s anythin’ like the other things you’ve cooked, it’ll be fuckin’ amazin’.” 

She perked up, and the omelette surprised them both at actually being pretty good. No matter how good her cooking skills were, it wouldn’t matter if the food she was using was pretty repulsive. She’d found that out the hard way when it came to mirelurk. 

The air was tense. Even in his still somewhat tired state, and despite her typical denial, they both knew it was there. So much was left unsaid. So much needed to be said, and they both knew it. They were both surprised when it was Gage who did so first.

“Nessie, I, we need to talk.” 

She swallowed the lump in her throat, along with a mouthful of omelette, and coughed a few times. Thin, arched eyebrows drawing together in what had become typical Vanessa fashion. “Oh yeah? I hope it isn’t about my cooking.”  _ Deflecting.  _ “Nessie, seriously.” With a sigh, she nodded, and put down her cutlery. It clattered against the plate far louder than she meant for it to, she was already nervous, that much was clear. 

“Earlier, it was uh,” “you think it was a mistake,” he assumed she was joking, but judging from the way her shoulders dropped, she clearly wasn’t, “what? No.  _ Shit, fuck,  _ no Vanessa. That ain’t it. I reckoned  _ you’d _ be feelin’ that way, I thought maybe that's why you’ve been actin’ so weird.” She tensed up and squealed, holding her hands close to her chest, “have I been acting weird? Mm, maybe I have been a little… You probably thought I ran off, right?” 

“Oh! But no, of course I don’t regret it, I thought… I thought you knew, that,  _ y’know _ .” He outstretched a hand towards her before he could stop himself, and grabbed one of hers. The forlorn expression on her face when her gaze rolled from her plate to him made him feel dizzy. His chest constricted and it tugged at his heartstrings in a way he didn’t think it ever had. He took her plate and his own and put them down on the floor, watching her face.

Vanessa couldn’t look at him. He  _ always _ made her chest ache that way, it wasn’t a new feeling to her and it only made her feel guilty. She didn’t want to cause him pain, but in the few glimpses she got of his face, he looked troubled. “Gage I… Maybe I shouldn’t have come back. At least not  _ here _ .” He cut her off, “no. I was mad as hell you’d been gone so long, and I woulda been even more pissed if y’hadn’t come t’see me. I still ain’t gonna jump in front of bullets for you, but I missed havin’ you around.”

Her expression changed. And Gage immediately regretted what he’d said. “You missed me,” “naw, that ain’t what I fuckin’ said,” “you’re going soft on me,  _ Porter _ !” He rolled his eyes, and her face softened. “But I just… You know, the two of us working together, well, it’s been a damn good time. I… I know you’ve got my back. I can trust you. I can’t say that about anybody else.” 

It was supposed to be a nice, happy, thing he was saying. But the expression on his face was still showing pain. She didn’t like it.

“You don’t… Are you worried I’m going to turn on you?” He shook his head, “No, boss. Not anymore. But most Raiders… you can’t trust ‘em.” She nodded, she knew the story. He’d told her about Connor after they cleared out the Safari Zone, when he found her crammed into the corner of the Fizztop elevator completely losing her shit. He’d never told her he trusted her though. That meant a lot. She knew what that meant coming from him, the last two times he’d trusted someone he’d almost ended up dead. She couldn’t be next.

“I ain’t trusted nobody like that, not except for how useful they can be to me. You though, you’re the real deal. I finally found somebody worth fightin’ with. Somethin’ worth fightin’ for,” when she didn’t respond, he cleared his throat, “I don’t mean to make it weird or nothin’. Just saying’, this is a real good thing we got goin’ here. Don’t wanna mess it up.” 

_ Something worth fighting for. _

She assumed he meant Nuka World. Maybe he meant her? The air suddenly felt as thick as it had been inside Kiddie Kingdom. It was dizzying, and her brain felt more starved for oxygen than it had been last night. “I… It’s not weird, Gage. I think about it too… You know this. I want…” She sighed, and pressed her hands over her face, steadying her breath, “I want us to be together. I want to be  _ with you. _ ”

He cursed gently. “Look, Nessie, I don’t,” “I know. I’m a liability or inappropriate workplace relationships or  _ whatever. _ But,  _ shit _ , I can’t keep doing this. What we did earlier? It can’t happen again, not if we aren’t… God, I sound so fucking pathetic.” 

Gage let out a weak chuckle, and pulled away, scratching the side of his face absentmindedly. “Aw, c’mon, boss. You wouldn’t want nothin’ to do with me, not like that. I’m pretty damn fucked up. This is what I’ve been tryna tell you,-” “and I’m not?” She looks damn near close to tears now, scowling as much as she could to just try and will the tears to stay in her eyes. “Why can’t we be fucked up  _ together?  _ Huh?” He groaned, rubbed his face with one hand and looked over at her. She’d gotten up from the bed now and had stalked off over to the elevator. She stood on it, fists clenched, staring out across Nuka-Town.

He got up and followed her. “I ain’t never done anythin’ like this. Ain’t sure it’d work, y’know? It ain’t you. Like, don’t kid me here, you really want,” he gestured to himself, and then the park, “ _ this? _ ” “Stranger things have happened,’ she whispered, he exhaled air sharply through his nose and smiled, “heh, yeah, ain’t that the truth. Gatorclaws… You being, well, her,” he pointed to the Nuka girl poster, “magic ghouls.” His fingers curled around her wrist, and this time she didn’t shake him off. “We been through some shit together, huh.” “I wouldn’t change it for the world.” 

Vanessa turned, and quite suddenly wrapped her arms around his middle, side of her face pressed against his chest, “this is called a  _ hug,  _ Gage,” “I know damn well what it’s called. I’m not goin’ soft on you, I swear but,  _ damn,  _ Nessie. You are somethin’ else. I don’t know what happens next but,  _ hell,  _ ain’t nobody I’d rather have with me.” 


	27. Cowboy Blues

“I don’t know how you survived this long, sleepin’ that soundly.” 

Sunlight streamed through the torn curtains that were crudely strung up over the Fizztop windows opposite, and to the left of, the Overboss’ bed. To the right was a screen which typically blocked most of the light which managed to get to that side of the bed; Vanessa’s side. Her PipBoy alarm hadn’t been switched on, so she was a little bemused when awaking that the sweet sounds of pre-war musicians hadn’t been serenading her sleep deprived ears.

But this morning she didn’t need to be awoken by sunlight, or a radio. 

This morning she had  _ Gage _ . 

Vanessa’s face contorted into a frown, as she searched the room with tired eyes. Her dreams had been… not so great, and this morning she woke up unsure of where she was. She raised her head a little, to see Gage with a somewhat amused expression on his face. He attempted to tuck a curl behind her ear, but failed, he’d forgotten how wild her morning bed-head could be. The cold visibly showing on her face thawed immediately, and she even smiled. He claimed he wasn’t affectionate, or used to these kinds of things, but in her opinion, that said differently.

She raised a hand and tenderly rested it against his cheek, still partially unsure of whether this whole situation between them was real, or even permanent. And she was certain she saw a glimmer of a smile on his face, until his finger-tips slid along her shoulder and settled on the bruise on her arm (the little biology she remembered told her it was on the skin and muscle above her humerus). He looked like he wanted to say something, Gage was never good with words anyway, “it’s fine,” she murmured, “can barely feel it.” 

It was there alright. Purple as a melon blossom, and just as delicate. She knew she had something to help with that, but she was still on the fence about wildy pumping her body full of chems. “I forget how damn fragile you are, even the sun kills you,” she frowned gently, “ _ wrong,  _ I am  _ not  _ fragile.” He shook his head, and definitely smiled that time, “alrigh’ Boss, what’s the game plan for today?” Vanessa sat up and stretched, the blanket falling from her body, showing her bare back to the raider. “Well, Cowboy,” she cleared her throat, and put on a  _ terrible _ southern accent, “we’re gonna head on down t’Dry Rock Gulch!” Gage winced,  _ this _ American accent was  _ way  _ worse than her Nuka Girl voice. “Cowboy?” “You’re my cowboy, and Dry Rock Gulch is the wild west town, come on, get dressed, I’ll grab something for us to eat before we leave.” 

Gage silently watched as she grabbed a large shirt he assumed was Colter’s, and pulled it on over her bare body, she then picked up her pack, pulled a small silk purse out, grabbed her rocketsuit from the floor and disappeared round the corner. He decided to stay where he was, it was damn comfortable, and even though he’d called her out for it, he hadn’t slept that well in years. Him staying where he was turned out to be a bad idea though, as she poked her head around the corner about ten minutes later, a hairbrush hanging from her hair. “ _ Porter,  _ up, now.” He scowled at her, and she pulled the brush from her hair and held it up, threateningly. “Alrigh’, alrigh’, ahm comin’.” 

He dragged himself out of the bed. He didn’t know how she’d woken up so significantly from how she had been merely minutes ago, but he added it to the growing list of things he admired about her. He found himself another tank and pulled it on, before looking around the patio for the jeans he’d cast aside the night before. When he glanced at Vanessa again, she was brushing her teeth with a bottle of vodka. This was added to the growing list of things he had to be concerned about. His focus returned to looking for his pants. 

By the time he was dressed, and had splashed some water on his face, Vanessa had made up two bowls of  _ Blamco Brand Mac and Cheese  _ and had tossed in some fried Rad Rat. Rad Rat was an animal she  _ really  _ hadn’t wanted to eat, but Nuka World was lacking in tasty fauna. She felt bad about killing the Gazelles.  _ Hey, gotta keep morals somewhere. _ He sat in front of her at the bar, watching as she sprinkled in some hot sauce, before pushing the bowl towards him. She picked up her own and leant against the back of the bar, smiling across at him. She took a bite and, “oh… Oh  _ gosh _ ,” made a mental note not to eat Rad Rat again. 

*

Lying just outside was a dead trader, Vanessa nudged him over with the heel of her boot. She recoiled immediately at the sight, the corpse had a huge hole clean through it’s stomach and it smelled  _ awful.  _ “Repulsive,” she whispered, her face contorted in disgust, Gage steered her away from it, “Bloodworm attack. When we showed up here a lot of the traders fled, fuckin’ cowards. They split off into the other parks, these ones obviously became Bloodworm food.” She tried to glance back at the body over his shoulder, but he didn’t allow it, moving her into the old Western themed park, “do you think any of them survived?” “Eh, maybe they were damn lucky and holed up inside one o’ the old buildings, but if they are, they ain’t gonna go down without a figh’, Boss.” 

They’d barely gotten through the park entrance when they heard the rumbling in the ground. Vanessa was yet to actually see a Bloodworm, but that was very quickly about to change as two burst from the ground. She hit V.A.T.S on her PipBoy and pulled her sword out. Bloodworms were Vanessa’s new least favourite thing to  _ worm  _ their way out of the wasteland (pardon the pun). They were bulging and flesh coloured, like a regular earthworm, except the bigger ones were covered in spikes. The Vault Assisted Targeting System helped her to cut clean through the Bloodworm larvae as it burst from the ground. Gage’s rifle burst into fire behind her and the bigger bloodworm let out a click and a screech as it died. “ _ Repulsive _ .” She repeated. 

A Protectron hummed and beeped as it approached. It was wearing a cowboy hat and the sight of it struck Vanessa with a stroke of genius. In future, Gage would learn to be scared when he saw her grin like that. She skipped past the Protectron, inspecting the mannequins that were propped up outside, before plucking off two of the hats. Gage frowned down at her and then up at the black hat she had slapped on his head, “what is this shit?” “My cowboy,” she purred, before putting a hat on herself, “much better, now we’re fitting in here,  _ pardner. _ ” He rubbed his face with a hand and sighed, before begrudgingly straightening the hat, “alrigh’, go speak to the robot. I sure as shit ain’t gonna.” 

Dry Rock Gulch was like stepping right into an old wild west movie, so much so that the first time Vanessa visited it (well over 200 years ago), she had literally pinched herself to ensure she wasn’t dreaming. She’d gotten on tremendously well with the others that worked in this particular park, mainly because they were all aspiring actors like her. She recalled fondly the handful of times she’d been written up by her superiors because  _ “Nuka-Girl doesn’t exist in the wild-west”,  _ at the time she’d been fairly miffed, and had always responded with something along the lines of “Bradberton needs to learn to pick his battles.” At times, everyone was surprised that she had kept her job as long as she had, in her defence, she needed somewhere to retaliate against authority. Doing so at home probably would’ve gotten her beat within an inch of her life. 

Gage watched, amused, as she tipped her hat to the Protectron. “Whale, howdy, Sheriff! Seems you got a problem with varmints!” He was still amused, but also now a little perturbed as to whether this is how he sounds to her. He’ll bring it up later. “Processing… Employee; Vanessa Diana French. Currently not clocked in, continue as though guest.” Gage didn’t think that was her name. The robot buzzed and beeped a few times, before continuing, “Welcome back, partner! You ready for a rootin’, tootin’, good time here at Dry. Rock. Gulch?” 

Vanessa looked at Gage over her shoulder. He shrugged. “Uh… Ahem, you bet, pardner! But uh, bloodworms, varmints, are infestin’ the place,” “You must mean the no-good outlaws that are infesting Mad Mulligan’s Mine!” The way it’s voice changed was incredibly unnerving, and took both of the raiders by surprise. “Well, partner, if you're interested in lending a hand, I could use a new deputy! What do you say?” 

Vanessa rubbed her face with a hand, she wasn’t the most patient person anymore and this robot was somewhat exhausting. Time for a different tactic. And a different accent. She popped the collar on her rocket suit and cleared her throat again.

“Sheriff! I’m glad I could get here in time! Star command detected a threat and sent me here with my cadet to investigate! No need to fret though, Nuka-Girl is here to save the day!” The robot beeped a few times again, clearly processing. “Nuka-Girl active in Dry. Rock. Gulch. Pinging staff members. Continuing for the sake of other guests. Well, now, we got ourselves a genuine celebrity! Howdy, there, Nuka-Girl! We sure could use your help! You are overqualified but I think you’d make a  _ fine  _ Deputy, Nuka-Girl!” 

_ Exhausting.  _ So there was no way around it. Vanessa finally realised she would have to play along with the robots, and investigate the old ride attraction it kept asking her to go to. She remembered the quest the ‘bots gave to guests, there are three jobs one has to complete for each of the ‘bots, and then they let you into the minecart ride. She can hear the frustration bubbling beneath the surface of her raider lover behind her. Well, he’s going to have to get on with it. 

*

“What the fuck are we lookin’ for?”

“ _ Gage,  _ it’s fairly obvious. His name is the  _ Giddyup Kid _ .”

He turned to throw her an angry glare, watching as she whipped her sword through the air, cutting a bloodworm clean in half. He couldn’t deny that it was kinda hot. There was something about seeing her cutting things up with her sword, dressed up in that skimpy rocketsuit, that just drove him wild. He averted his gaze, knowing that if he got anymore riled up, she would end up pinned against a wall ( _ ah, foreshadowing _ ).

“Giddyup Kid.” He repeats, kicking a trash can over. A robotic yellow horse clatters out and hits the floor. “Ooh! Gage! You found it!” “Scrap metal?” Vanessa tuts and shakes her head at him, scooping it up into her arms, “whoa, heavy,” “I can take a damn hint.” Gage grabbed one of the horse’s legs and pulled it from her arms, following her back over to one of the protectrons. It was standing in front of a corral. Vanessa nodded her head in the direction of said corral, Gage nodded and slung it in. It clattered obnoxiously. She scowled. “Good job there, cowboy! If I ever need someone to tame these broncos again, I’ll give you a holler,” “no the fuck you won’t,” “ _ Gage _ !” The robot beeped a few times, and dispensed a piece of paper, like a receipt being printed from a cash machine. “Here’s my part of the safe combination! Good luck in  _ Mad Mulligan's Mine _ !” 

“What else do we gotta do before we can get out of here? These robots are pissin’ me off.” Vanessa pulled the other scrap of paper from her pocket, they must’ve changed the safe code since she last took part in the park activities since she didn’t recognise these numbers. “Uh, we have to head into the saloon, pretty sure we deliver drinks. I’m not entirely sure how that is going to work since I’m the only Nuka-Cola employee still alive.”

Their boots crunched on the dusty ground below. “Saloon?” “Bar.” “Alrigh’, migh’ like this one.” The ground rumbled, and Vanessa immediately pulled her sword from her belt, Gage’s gun hadn’t left his hands. The bloodworms that exploded from the ground were bigger than any Vanessa had seen thus far. One glowed eerily and lunged for her quicker than she could react, jamming it’s swirling, rough, jaws into her leg. Gunfire rattled behind her, and the other bloodworm let out a distressed screech as it died. “Nessie I ain’t riskin’ a fuckin’ shot on that. The spread on this gun, I migh’ hit ya.” Vanessa squealed and shook her leg, thanking the Nuka-Cola company for making her boots from real leather, as the worm shook and tried to get to her skin. She raised her sword and slashed at it, wobbling precariously on her one heel, she reached out her right hand and tried to grab at the fence before swinging again. The worm went limp, and she shook her leg a few times to fling it off. 

“I agree, the sooner we’re out of here, the better.” He wrapped his hands around her leg, she squealed and grabbed the fence with both hands, dropping her sword. He squeezed her ankle, “ _ Porter!  _ What on Earth are you playing at!?” “Glowing Bloodworm. If it broke the skin I’m gonna have to get you some fuckin’ Radaway. I saw you in Kiddie Kingdom.” He twisted her leg around to get a better long, and she shrieked again, gripping the fence even tighter, “y’alrigh’.” “Thank you, Doctor.” He dropped her leg and glared at her, “c’mon.” 

*

“So we just had to take Nuka Cola to two hundred year old corpses?” He dropped the last bottle of Nuka Cola Dark onto the table, Vanessa looked down at the skeleton of her old friend Owen at the table, “yes indeedy, cowboy,” “this the last we gotta do to get into the building?” “Yeah, the first robot gave us the code because you shot him.” “It asked me too,” “no he didn’t! He asked you just to quick draw.” Gage tutted and turned to walk down the stairs, his Overboss girlfriend scampering after him. 

“Robot, code.” Vanessa pushed him out the way, and smiled at the bot, “howdy Doc Phosphate! We’ve delivered all the drinks to the fine people of Dry Rock Gulch!” “Now that’s good to hear. You did a fine job, Partner! Here’s my part of the safe combination. Now did Owen, Trixie, and Hank give you any of their fine tales?” Gage scoffed and rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest, “naw, they were all fuckin’ dead,” “Porter!” The robot beeped, clearly processing what he’d said, “Well, that ain't good. Nuka-Cola would like to apologize that this part of the Dry Rock Gulch experience was not up to our standards. Rest assured, your complaint will be forwarded to the Human Resources and Maintenance departments. Good luck in  _ Mad Mulligan’s Mine _ !”

“You don’t have to be so mean to the robots, Gage, they’re only doing their job,” “they’re fuckin’ bots, Nessie.” She couldn’t stay mad at him when he said her name like that. “Exactly, they are programmed to be somewhat insufferable,” “insufferable?” “Annoying.” He frowned and stopped suddenly, looking down at her, “what is it? Bloodworms?” “Are you a robot?” She groaned and stalked off to the safe, grumpily inputting the code, “fuck off.” He stood behind her, gently running his fingers through her hair as she frustratedly messed with the lock, grabbing the key to get onto the ride. “I reckon there’s a bloodworm queen in there, would explain where all these fuckers are comin’ from. We get rid of that, we can move a gang on in.” 

Vanessa went limp, simply enjoying the soothing affection, to the point that even though they were good to go, she stayed where she was, bent over the safe. “Who you thinkin’ of stickin’ in here?” She moaned daintily, she wasn’t as quiet as she’d hoped. Gage hissed through his teeth and gripped her hip tightly, his other hand still tenderly massaging her scalp. “ _ Mm _ , who have we got and where?” A light tug of her hair made her legs go weak, “Pack are in Kiddie Kingdom, the Operators are in Nuka Galaxy and the Disciples are all set up in the Safari Zone. You want my advice?” “ _ Always _ .” He let out a groan, pulling her back by her hips to press against him, “Operators want the Bottling Plant, they want caps and that’s the best place to find ‘em.  _ Fuck,  _ yup, this park got plenty of places for Disciples to stash bodies, and the troughs already here for the uh, robot horses, Disciples love to fill them with blood.” 

That topic of conversation would probably have been a mood-killer for anyone else, or even for Vanessa a few months ago. However, now, she spun around, hopped up to sit on top of the safe and pulled him closer by the bars of his armor. He groaned against her lips as she kissed him, and both of his hands found the soft flesh of her thighs, squeezing them,  _ hard _ . He hooked his fingers into the waistband of her trousers and tugged lightly. “ _ Fuck, Nessie,  _ you drive me fuckin’ insane.” She snickered breathily and looked up at him through her eyelashes, he groaned again, “ _ bloodworm queen. _ ” 

Now that  _ was  _ a mood killer.

She sighed gently and pressed one last kiss to his lips, “spoilsport,” “ayep, but we’ll have plenty of time once the parks’ve been cleared out.” Vanessa nodded and slid past him, stopping to glance over her shoulder at him, “we better, I don’t want to be able to walk straight for at least a week.” He chuckled and watched as she made her way through the queue for the minecart ride, stopping to get a token on the way, “fuckin’ minx.”

*

“You didn’t tell me they would be nesting in rotting brahmin corpses,” “didn’t really know,” “excellent.” 

The pair were pretty much crawling through the ride, Vanessa was gettin pretty jumpy, and having brahmin corpses explode around her wasn’t exactly helping. Gage took the lead, he had better aim and could take bloodworms out before they were rushed by them. In fact, whenever he even saw a brahmin corpse he fired at its stomach without a second thought, typically killing the worms before they even had a chance to get out. Vanessa was somewhat grateful for it, because she knew they had quite a fight coming up, and her sword swinging arm was getting tired. “Righ’, I’m scoutin’ ahead, stay here cause I reckon this next room has the queen in it, I’ll come back and get you if I’m righ’.” She was a little surprised, normally he was right behind her, but he seemed to have picked up on her aversion to the worms, bugs were always a weakness for her, even before they were as big as dogs.

The time apart also gave her a chance to get out some Overdrive. Gage said he and Colter had only fought one bloodworm queen before, and apparently she’d given the two of them quite a run for their money. So she supposed it  _ would  _ come in handy. She knew how Gage would feel about it so she decided she wouldn’t do it in front of him. The syringe was pulled from her pack and she held it in her hands, studying the liquid for a moment. “Fuck it,” one dose couldn’t hurt. 

Injecting it had an almost immediate reaction, and before she could properly comprehend what she was doing, she was in the next room, sword drawn, running towards one of the brahmin. “Nessie! What the fuck are y’playin’ at?” She sliced through a bloodworm that sprung from the corpse, and it hit the ground in two separate parts. It was  _ hot,  _ but insane. She turned to look at him, worm blood on her face and splattering against the white of her rocketsuit. “Well? Are you not joining in?” 

The grin spread across the raider’s face faster than the chems were spreading through Vanessa’s bloodstream, and he hopped to his feet, opening fire on the several brahmin corpses that dotted the room. His Overboss turned her attention to the queen that blasted from the centre of the room. “Alrigh’, Nessie, stay back, I’m on it.” He reloaded his rifle and she shot him a look, “like  _ fuck  _ am I letting you have all the fun!”

It was huge. Writhing and fleshy. Gage felt his heart in his throat as it lunged for his Overboss, and it only got worse when instead of backing up like he would’ve expected, she stood her ground, sword raised in front of herself. “Vanessa!” “Gage! Fuck. Off!” His eyebrows drew together. Even when she got a little over-excited in combat she was  _ never  _ aggressive towards him. He raised his rifle and opened fire on the queen, he was trying his best not to hit Vanessa, but she was moving a little erratically. Unpredictable. It made him more nervous than he would care to admit. 

It was Vanessa who dealt the killing blow. 

The bloodworm queen slithered towards her, mouth open ready to attack. Her sword was plunged straight into said mouth, and Vanessa found herself arm deep in worm guts. It twitched a few times as it died, and she didn’t pull out her blade until it fell still in death. 

She was panting like that mutt she loved so much, Gage pulled his flask from his belt, knowing hers was probably filled with something alcoholic, and took a swig from it before offering it to her. “You ok, boss?” It took a moment for her brain to kick back in. Her blade was cleaned on the clothes of the rotting corpse of a trader, before she slid it back into its sheath. “Nessie?” She looked over at him and smiled, taking the water he offered, sipping it slowly. “Yes, Porter?” “I asked if you were alright.” She nodded, swallowed the water in her mouth and poured some onto her face. “Alrigh’, I know your game, we’ll go stick a flag up and get you back to Fizztop?” Vanessa was the one to grin this time, she pulled him closer yet again by the bars on his armor, and was way more handsy than she needed to be when putting his flask back on his belt. “Alright, cowboy.”


	28. Greed

“No. No fucking way. I am not crawling through that. God knows what’s in there, and look at the  _ colour _ !” Gage simply blinked at her as he used a stim, he’d had his forearm burnt by the laser of an Assaultron. “I ain’t like it anymore than you do, you know I fuckin’ hate gettin’ wet, but it’s the quickest way round.” The Overboss huffed and stomped her foot childishly, before raking her fingers through her hair, fluffing it up a little. “It’s  _ dirty, _ Gage, we’re going to get covered in muck,” “good thing you got your old Vault suit on then, huh?” 

The rocketsuit had been cleaned of bloodworm and hung up to dry, it hadn’t been ready for when they’d left to clear out the old Bottling Plant so she was wearing the torn vault suit she’d worn when she went through the Gauntlet, so many weeks ago. The worst of the damage was around where she’d been shot, where Gage had ripped it open to fish out bullets. Her fingertips ghosted over the slight scar tissue on her hip, she still had the bullet, in an old silk jewellery bag. Her eyes drew down to her leg, particularly her calf. The scar there was much more significant, in fact she could see it from where she was standing. Gage wasn’t a medical professional, and he’d quite messily hacked her up trying to cut the bullet out. She’d definitely learnt to not use a stim without checking for bullets first since. 

“You comin’?” Her gaze snapped up to Gage, standing ankle deep in the murky water of the tunnel, “my fuckin’ socks are wet.” She trotted down the stairs, and held his forearm tightly beneath the wound, “you okay?” She was almost completely fine, she’d gotten through the bottling plant without as much as a scratch. Not completely unharmed, she was knocked down by the same assaultron that had burnt Gage, and they both knew she’d have some cracking bruises in the morning. 

It was probably the easiest park to clear out so far (they’d be eating those words in a bit), and they’d even found an amazing pre-war treasure locked up inside a cage. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Vanessa hadn’t seen the power armor since it was first presented to her. She’d worn it once for some promotional material, but power armor was yet another thing that contributed towards casual pre-war sexism, and the fact that she was quickly replaced with a male model, and the colourful things her husband had to say about her wearing it said it all really. The thought of wearing it again was somewhat exhilarating, but since Colter, she’d associated power armor with weakness and an over-inflated ego. 

“Promise?” “I promise, it was barely a graze, stop your worryin’ and let’s get movin’.” A kiss was pressed to the already almost completely healed wound, and he scrunched up his nose, turning his face away, “mm, Nessie, c’mon,” “yes sir.” Ignoring the sounds of the water splashing and the occasional God-knows-what she felt wasn’t an easy task, but one that stopped Vanessa from screaming or throwing her guts up. The smell, however, was impossible to evade. 

“Do we still have some of that nice floral soap?” 

“Why the fuck would I know?” 

Vanessa shot him a look over her shoulder, “because you need to be clean?” She could almost  _ feel _ the roll of his eyes on the back of her head. “Can hear mirelurks, boss.” She could too, the scuttling of so many claws and legs just outside. She  _ hated  _ mirelurks, almost as much as she hated bugs. If not even more. They were bigger and harder to get away from and were  _ much  _ harder to take down. “It sounds like there’s a lot,” “yup.” Vanessa paused, studying the map on her pip-boy as she worked out a plan. “There’s like a… car park above, we need to run there, it’ll be easier to fight them on dry ground,” “I coulda told y’that.” The flurry of insults that danced on her tongue fought for the right to be set free, but she bit them back. The comedown from an Overdrive high made her emotions as hard to control as when she was just hitting it. 

Her body ached for another dose.

She wasn’t addicted. 

That’s what she was telling herself. How could she be? She’d had three doses. One yesterday and two today. There’s no way somebody could get addicted to a chem after only hitting three doses. It took her much longer to get addicted to Calmex, and she was fairly certain Nathaniel had been dosing her up the whole time. 

Besides, another dosage wouldn’t hurt. She was coming down rapidly and if anything it would help. It would help in combat, it would help soothe her nerves. Yes. Yes. Yes! It would help. She would feel better, calmer, stronger. Yes, an excellent decision. Just to get a chance, she can’t have Gage looking of course. What would he say? Probably something negative. Probably something unnecessary. Probably… nothing?

*

“Mirelurk Queen!” 

The beast burst from the quantum pool in the old car park. In the twilight it glowed like a fallen star. Bioluminescent. If it wasn’t trying to kill them, the raiders may have found it oddly beautiful and peaceful. Instead, Vanessa threw herself at Gage in an attempt to push him out of the way as it attempted to spray acid at the pair of them.

“Nukalurk Queen.” He corrected, looking down at the glowing acid that chewed at the metal fence behind them. Luckily, they’d cleared out the nukalurks and the lone nukalurk king that had charged them before the Queen had sprang from the pool. “Who would’ve predicted that  _ this  _ park would make the most fucked up shit,” “worse than gatorclaws?” “Oh, well, those were arguably a little cute,” “you’re so fuckin’ weird.”

Vanessa could feel her heart thumping, she was already feeling a little antsy from the Overdrive kicking in. “Rifle, Nessie. No swords this time.” She groaned unnecessarily loudly, placing a hand to her head in mock pain, “fine,” her sword was dropped back into its sheath and she slid the painted 7.62 handmade rifle from her shoulder. She still held the dreams that one day she’d get to kill Mason with the rifle he’d given her as a  _ gift. _ “Remember to reload,” “God I’m not a fucking idiot,” “no, but y’are shit with guns.” 

A squeal from below reminded the pair what they were facing, as a small legion of baby nukalurks crawled towards them. “Disgusting.” They were stomped, much easier than one would stomp a radroach, and the glowing insides that splattered up the boots of the raiders were surprisingly much more appealing to look at. 

Vanessa reloaded her gun with a little difficulty, the frustration only spurred on her attack. Gage was already initiating his attack, staying just out of range of the Nukalurk Queen’s acid attacks. He still had his sense. Vanessa, eh, not so much. 

They unloaded round after round after round into the thing, but it barely made a dent. In fact it seemed to be moving towards them with increased fervor. “Fuck this! My aim is shit with this thing because of the recoil!” “Vanessa I swear to shit if you go runnin’ at that thing with your damn sword! Put it away!” He lunged to grab her, but she slipped under his arm, rifle already slung back on her shoulder. “You’re bein’ so fuckin’ stupid! What has gotten into you?” His rifle was hastily reloaded, and he found himself grateful that the thing glowed brighter than that damn crater back in the ‘Wealth, since it blocked out all natural light and most of the outdoor lighting of the factory as it towered above them. 

All that glowing made it an easier target, and meant he could try and distract it or at least provide Vanessa with some covering fire as she seemingly tried desperately to get herself killed. He had never entirely understood the pre-war woman, but now, she just confused him further. She had these bursts of aggression he assumed were to do with combat highs, and although throwing herself into danger wasn’t out of character, to this degree wasn’t normal. He  _ hated  _ talking about shit, but she was really pushing him into a corner where a serious discussion might be becoming necessary. 

The train of thought running through his head as he reloaded another clip was derailed when he heard her shrill scream. It cut through him easier than a knife through the stomach of a settler (something he knew well). He jerked his head back up to look at her and she was staggering back from the Queen, her sword lodged in it’s stomach. His first thought was it was a fit of frenzy that her attack had barely slowed it down. A closer look showed she was coated in the acidic spit. 

His sprint towards her began. She screamed again and wrenched the sword from the Queen, raising it and slicing at it a few times, fuelled by nothing by spite and distress. She heard her name screamed at her, and it pulled her from her mania long enough for him to pull  _ her  _ away, dragging her behind an old security building. 

The skin on her face and head hurt, but nothing compared to her bare arms that almost felt as though they were on fire. She clawed at it and let out a dry sob. “You’re fuckin’ out of control. You need to listen to me and fuckin’ think, you’re being a damn idiot. That ain’t you, I wouldn’t have stuck by y’like this if it was.” A scream ripped out of her as he poured his canteen of water over her head and arms. Her hair hung in wet strands and stuck to her face and neck. 

Breaths were sucked in rapidly for a few moments, before she seemingly calmed down. “I… I’m sorry,” “whatever, just c’mon, use that beautiful brain of yours and come up with a plan.” Her eyebrows laced together tighter than her old corsets, and she lightly drummed the side of her head a few times. “Do you know where we can find some mines?” “Mines? You got some in your pack.” She smacked the side of her head and groaned, “yeah, sorry, hang on,” she unbuttoned her hip pack and took the four mines out, “can you give me covering fire?” 

Gage scrunched up his face, “are you bein’ stupid again?” “No! I’ve thought this through, I swear!” Gage let out a sigh and nodded, “alrigh’, let’s go.” 

Itching for another dosage, even though she knew she was still at the crux of her high, Vanessa scampered out towards the Queen, Gage already providing the rifle cover enough for the Queen to be distracted. She swept her sword up from the ground and dropped to the ground, readying the mines. She placed them all together, and darted off towards the other raider, “Move,  _ move! Fucking move! _ ” Her fingers entwined with his as she pulled him with her. The plan clicked in his head and he ran with her. The explosion went off just as they got behind the fence, it wasn’t as exciting as Vanessa hoped. No blood, guts and gore, just a horrifying screech as it flopped over and hit the ground. 

“We’ve at least broken it’s legs, hopefully there’s something left to kill,” “y’need t’calm the fuck down.” Vanessa kissed the corner of his mouth and smirked, “you know how to do that,” “you’re gonna be the death of me, y’know that?” She barked out a laugh and smiled at him over her shoulder, “oh I plan on it,  _ Porter, love _ .”

He jogged to catch up with her just as she was poking at the Queen with the end of her sword, “dead, how boring.” Gage rolled his eyes, one of his hands coming to rest much lower than just her back. She smirked up at him, “come on,  _ cowboy,  _ we have a flag to raise.” He gave her ass a smack and she jumped a little, baring her teeth at him like a scolded puppy before she began to skip off, heading up onto the roof of the building. 

She was quicker than him. Spryer. Younger. That familiar odd feeling of inadequacy hit the old raider, and it only got worse when she hung over the edge of the railing to shout down at him; “come on old man, we aren’t getting any younger!” It was meant harmlessly. He knew that. But it still made him feel weird. Gage was still mystified that she could make him feel so many things. The fact he felt things in general. It was idiotic. 

By the time he caught up with her, she was sitting on the railing of the lift fiddling with her Pip-Boy. She heard his clunking footsteps and looked up, forcing a false grumpy expression. He noted the corner of her mouth twitching, her nose wrinkling slightly as she tried not to smile. Her face always lit up when she saw him, pretty much since day one. 

Oh, there’s another thing he feels. 

_ Guilt. _

She loops her arms around his neck when he steps onto the lift with her, and slams the side of her hand against the button. It shudders and begins to ascend, obviously due to 200 years of disuse. His hands grip her waist and he can’t help but smirk back at her as she grins up at him. Like he’s the best damn thing in the whole world. It’s probably how she used to look at her husband, who he didn’t think was a good man either. 

“Y’alrigh’, Boss?” She’s fidgeting with her nails behind his neck and he can see her gnawing at her lip like a damn junkie (coincidental). “Huh? Oh! Ah, yes, I’m fine, Porter love, just…  _ antsy.  _ I want to keep moving, you know?” 

She wasn’t addicted.

She wasn’t addicted.

She wasn’t addicted.

How could she be?

_ Shut up,  _ she screams inside her own head,  _ Vanny just shut the fuck up. _

She doesn’t know if it’s her own voice she hears in her head. 

He pinches her chin and tilts her head back, she’s forced to look at him. “ _ Nessie, _ ” he almost purrs, that southern drawl making her stomach twist in a way that made her toes do the same, “talk t’me? What’s goin’ on in that beautiful brain of yours?” There goes the familiar heartache he always gives her, and the same flutters. “Nothing, Gage, honestly.” The pad of his thumb swept along her bottom lip and then gently pulled it down, and just as she was about to tell him to bend her over the railings, it shuddered to a halt. 

His hands moved from her waist to the pouches on her hips, “alrigh’, so what flag’s in here? You takin’ my advice?” She grabbed both of his hands and held them to her chest, over her heart, “always.” One of her hands dropped to her sides, pulling out the operators flag, wrapping it around her own shoulders and ducking under his arms, “come  _ on,  _ cowboy, how many times do I have to tell you to hurry it up?” 

He lunges for her, but she’s already skipping off out of his reach, grinning wildly at him, waving the flag around like an over-excited child. She clipped the flag up and was stretching her arms above her head when he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed the side of her head. “I’ll do it, after all, what was it you said t’me when I told you y’had to clear the parks out?  _ Let the stupid raiders do it _ ?” She tutted and elbowed him, “stop it, you’re not a stupid raider. And that was… a while ago now, Gage.” He tried to hold back the smile as he hoisted the flag. 

“We should be celebrating, Porter. Ugh, I would quite literally skin a Minuteman alive for a bottle of champagne.” He watched it flapping in the wind for a moment before he grinned down at her. She fucking  _ loved  _ the way the corners of his eyes crinkled when he properly smiled at her. “Y’know what, I might have to hold you t’tha’ one,” “ha! If you find me a bottle of champagne, Porter Gage, I swear on my life I will do whatever you bloody want.” The raider grinned again and lit up a cigarette, “alrigh’, I am definitely holdin’ you t’tha’! First request will be tha’ you skin one of those fuckin’ sheep.” 

*

“Wh-... what was that f-for?” 

Vanessa squirmed beneath the kisses pressed to her thighs, her fingers curled in the raider’s mohawk still. 

“You’re the one that said we should be celebratin’.” “Hah… it’s not quite what I…  _ Christ,  _ was implying.” He chuckled and it made her stomach twist and turn and she tugged on his hair even harder. That didn’t stop him. In fact he rewarded her with a bite at her thigh over her tattoo, before moving up to kiss the corner of her mouth. “Nessie, lookat what you’ve done. All five parks cleared ou’, in fairly quick time, too. Colter didn’t even get close.” She tried to hide behind her hands and he pulled them away, cocking a brow down at her. “Seriously, Nessie we can have the fuckin’ world, I ain’t jokin’. Or at least the fuckin’ wealth.”

The frown drastically changed the way her face looked, “what do you mean?” He seemed completely ignorant of the way the air shifted, just like it did before a radstorm. “Think about it, why have we got to stop here? I told you from day one I had big plans, boss,” “I need a drink.” She slid out from underneath him, grabbed the silken dressing gown (that was still somehow in one piece), and wrapped it around herself, before hopping up onto the bar. 

“Gage, I’ve just taken over an empire for you,” “ _ us,  _ Nessie,” “oh yes,  _ us,  _ because it’s really sounding like us right now.” Vanessa fished an already open bottle of wine from behind the bar, and swallowed a mouthful directly from it, Gage got up from the bed and came round, an expression of pure confusion on his face, “Ness, I’m… I ain’t good at this shit, what’s the matter?” She flicked her brows up and looked him up and down, taking another mouthful of wine. 

“ _ Our Mother Mary _ … Christ you’re just… It’s just plain  _ greed _ , Porter. Is it not enough for you?” She fell into tired giggles, “will  _ anything  _ ever be enough for you, Porter? Am  _ I  _ enough for you?” He frowned and jammed a cigarette between his teeth, “Wha’?  _ Shit,  _ Boss, hang on. Lemme think, you go way quicker than me.” She drummed her nails against the neck of the bottle, eyebrows raised as she waited for him to say something. 

He took a deep drag from his cigarette, letting smoke out of his nose. “Alrigh’, ok. You reckon, cause I think we should set our sights on the Commonwealth, that suddenly you ain’t good enough for me?” He scratched his head and put the cigarette back. “No… well, yes, but not exactly. Gage, I just don’t know if you’ll ever be satisfied. If me taking over an entire theme park and filling it with  _ raiders _ for you isn’t enough then… who knows how long will it take you to get bored or unsatisfied or whatever with me?” “ _ Shit.  _ Alrigh’, I get you.” 

He hummed, and flicked his cigarette ash onto the floor. Or almost at least. Vanessa had an ashtray in her hand catching it before he could. She looked up at him. “Vanessa, I ain’t never, ever gonna get sick of ya. Or bored, or whatever else stupid shit is floatin’ about in tha’ head of yours,” he poked her on her forehead between her eyes, taking the ashtray from her, “Nessie, you’re callin’  _ this  _ an empire, we could have it all. Wipe out the Minutemen, blow up them Brotherhood fuckers, they’re little more than raiders anyway.” 

She took the ashtray back, the cig still resting in it, and put it down on the bar. “This plan is crazy,” she chuckled again, “really fucking crazy.” “Alrigh’, well I ain’t proper thought that part through, but I do have a guy, Shank, you’ve probably met him, he’ll help us pick targets, take over the Commonwealth one settlement at a time. I ain’t jus’ leavin’ this to you, or to chance, this was the game plan all along, Nessie. Just never reckoned I woulda got this far.”

“I like crazy.” She murmured, chewing the corner of her nail. “And I really like you, Porter, you _know_ that. Alright, well, I’m not saying no, but, I think we need to find an agreement. Middle ground.  _ Compromise. _ ” She climbed back onto the bar and he sat down on the bar stool in front of her, “alrigh’ Boss, serious business talk, I got it, go.”

She nodded, crossed and uncrossed her legs, then smiled across at him. “Okay, I have… Gage, I have a lot of things I need to take care of back in the Commonwealth, like before we launch a full scale attack on every settler between here and Far Harbour. Railroad stuff, and you know,” “your son.” 

Bile bubbled up in the back of Vanessa’s throat, she flinched at his words. She tossed her head back and began to drink from the wine bottle again. “Nessie, enough,” she didn’t stop, and he had to snatch the bottle out of her hands. It was almost empty. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and coughed a few times. “My son. Yes. He’s… Gage, he’s a bad,  _ bad _ man. I’d like to say if I had been able to raise him he wouldn’t have turned out like this, but I fear he has too much of his father in him,” she winces, and clears her throat, realising where she was as she stared out of the window, “or maybe he’s more alike me than I realised. God, what have I become, eh?” A harsh laugh ripped from her throat, and she felt as if she were going to be sick again. “Ignore me, ignore me. He’s the bloody director of the Institute, Gage.” “Shit.” 

She held out a hand for the wine bottle. Gage shook the bottle and looked into it. Vanessa frowned and grabbed a packet of cigarettes, resting one between her teeth, “and, if you hadn’t clicked on already, that means I have to put a bullet in my own son’s head,” “shit,” “yeah.” He leant in and lit her cigarette for her, before gently resting one hand against her cheek, “so you gotta go back to the ‘Wealth? Do shit there and then we can get started? Yeah?” Vanessa nods, and breathes out the smoke, he takes the cigarette and then hands it back to her. 

“Alrigh’, when do we get goin’ then?” She grins, flicking the ash into the tray, “what?” “Well, I ain’t letting my Overboss run off back into the ‘Wealth and leave me here alone again. So when do we get a move on?” She tuts and tilts her head to the side, “Porter, you don’t want that. It’s not really your scene,” “Imma have to stop you there boss, I agreed t’walk to the ends of the wastes with you, so I’m gonna fuckin’ do so. When do we leave?”

The corners of her mouth twitch and she stubs her cigarette out on the bar, before wrapping her arms around his neck. “Tomorrow? Are you sure you don’t mind?” “Nessie, I’d go anywhere with you.” 


	29. Chaotic Neutral

_ Vanessa Everly was given the nickname the Sole Survivor when she was fresh out of Vault 111. Every other person who was inducted into the Vault was killed due to asphyxiation or some similar cause, including Ms. Everly’s late husband and son. This left her the sole survivor of both the Vault and her family line. Or so we thought. _

_ Vanessa’s sister; Camilla, survived the bombs with the help of the Cabot’s, a family also somehow from pre-war times with a peculiar rumoured family history. Myths of immortality swirled around the family, but if a woman can survive 200 years without ghoulification, maybe they aren’t just myths. _

*

“Holy heck! Maple this is so good, I’ll be able to write a cracking article with this. Erin and Fiona were right, you and your holotapes are brilliant. Please tell me you’ve got more.”

Maple smirked over at the reporter, curling her fingers around a jet canister before taking a hit, leaning back on the surprisingly plush red couch. “I do, lots more, and I’ve got first person accounts from people who knew her personally, much better than me or you.” Piper scrambled out of her seat and fumbled through her file cabinets, pulling out a stack of ratty paper and some pens. “You are a  _ gift _ . Ok, I’m ready, keep going.” 

*

“Camilla, thanks for this, seriously, personal project of mine. So what can you tell me about your sister? Vanessa?”

“Ugh,  _ Vanessa, Vanessa, _ it always has to be about Vanessa, doesn’t it. You know I was famous too, a  _ singer _ ! Always about her though, always has been, ever since we were children. She’d get extra time with Father, always being snuck off to his study alone or when he had friends over, mother  _ hated it,  _ heaven knows why, it was always kept hush hush. I’d ask Vanessa what they were doing and she’d just shrug me off and run off to her room in a tizzy.

It was where she first met Nathaniel, you know. Her husband. We moved to America when we were, hmm, ten something years before the bombs dropped. So I was ten, Vanny was fifteen. Nathaniel was a lovely man, he must’ve been twenty? Signed up with the army in the same group as our Charles, our brother. That and our families have been friends for years through our father’s work. But yeah, Nathaniel came round one day and the two of them were locked in father’s study for hours, he was furious when she came out sobbing. Few years later, they were dating, right whilst our Vanny was in college. I think it was part of her attempt at rebellion, by that point she’d already gotten her breasts out for that Bradberton-Nuka-Cola fellow, she broke our parents' hearts.”

“Hang on, hang on, you said she got her breasts out for Bradberton?”

“Oh you know, the pin-up thing she did. Nuka-Girl or whatever. I know it wasn’t quite sex work but she wasn’t far off you know. It’s a wonder poor Nathaniel let her get away with it, I know he may not have been entirely nice to her in their later years but he gave her stability and a beautiful baby boy. Oh, poor little Shaun, dreadfully messy situation.”

“So the Cabots knew you all before? Interesting. Can I speak to any of them about her? It would be interesting to have another pre-war perspective on our Sole Survivor.”

“Oh. Oh my. No, sadly not. It’s only dear Edward and I here now.”

“Really? Wasn’t there three of them living here? What happened? Where have they gone?”

“They’re out of town. Enough now. I’ve had enough. No! No more questions.  _ Edward! _ Our guest is leaving, show them to the door. Get that holotape recorder  _ out of my face _ .”

*

_ One of the people the Sole Survivor has gotten particularly close with is one of ambiguous morals but a heart of solid gold. Robert Joseph MacCready is a mercenary that Vanessa hired to help her find her son and keep her safe in the wasteland. Their history is checkered but even so, they’ve stuck together and are as close as ever, thick as thieves. I don’t think either of them trust many people in this cold world, but make an exception for each other. _

*

“Ah… c’mon Mapes you know Vanessa and I have a complicated past. I don’t wanna fu-freaking go into details about it, it’s awkward. Especially to you.”

“Oh  _ come on _ Bobby, nothing’s awkward between us! I’ve known you since you were barely up to my hip. And such a cute little thing you were, swearing like a soldier, pointing that gun up at Lone and I, spitting at him ‘cause you were a right jealous wee thing.  _ Please, Bobby,  _ tell me about the blonde spitfire.”

“For fu… alright, alright. Stop touching my hair,  _ hey _ , leave off. I said I’d do it! Ahem, well, uh, I’ve known Vanessa pretty much since she left the Vault. She showed up in the Third Rail with Nick Valentine, you know, the weird synth guy, and threatened Winlock and Barnes with this fancy little pistol. It was funny, this pretty, little, woman, hair all in curls screaming at two six foot something Gunners. If I’m being honest I was a bit da...darn scared of her. Then she threw a bag of caps at me and a room key for Rexford and disappeared after blowing me a kiss and giving me a wink. She scared me even more after that.”

“And you took her up on that offer?”

“Well yeah, I needed the caps. At that time I still needed to get Duncan’s cure and… What? Why are you looking at me like that? Maple you look disturbed.” 

“I mean, okay lemme just say, I’m not judging, I understand it was a very desperate situation. I just never pegged you as someone who would, y’know, have sex for money. Not that I’d blame you, Vanessa  _ is  _ a looker.  _ What _ ?” 

“What the fu-fork have you been on today? Someone spiked your jet? I did not have sex with Vanessa. I wasn’t  _ that  _ desperate for the caps. No, she hired me  _ for my gun.  _ My  _ actual _ gun. Travelled with her and the synth for about a week before we went back to Goodneighbour, and the first day we were there, I realised she was more than just some stupid, pre-war, upper-stands girl, and I realised we’re… two sides of the same coin. Vanessa did everything for her son, things she wouldn’t have even dreamed of before the bombs, I was the same. I became someone Duncan wouldn’t have wanted to know, just to save him. I know she has, uh, changed, but I know she’s still good at heart. Vanessa helped me find the cure for Duncan, she took out Winlock and Barnes, and she did it all for nothing. She did it just for me. ‘Cause she cares. She’s got a big fu-freaking heart. I don’t know where her morals or her intentions lie anymore, she came back to the ‘wealth from the park she’s so interested in about a month or two ago now, and she’s done sh-stuff, but I think she’s probably doing it for the right reasons. 

I’ll always love her, like a sister, I know it isn’t how people expected us to be, and I probably didn’t either, but I’ll always stick to the agreement we made those months ago, for as long as she needs it.  _ You point, I’ll shoot _ . Pretty simple arrangement.”

*

_ So it turns out, Vanessa wasn’t the Sole Survivor of her family lineage,  _ or  _ her Vault. Her husband Nate had a sister, Annie, that she was particularly close to. Annie and Vanessa were more like sisters than she was with Camilla, and over the course of her marriage to Nathaniel French, the two relied on each other as they didn’t have much else. Annie had always wanted to join the military before the war, and despite the fact her brother did, and her family’s ties with Robert Maxson, her parents forbade her from doing so. Although women were allowed to join the American Army, it was frowned upon in some places, and the French family were very upper-class, they would not let their only daughter charge off to battle.  _

_ Annie wasn’t an easy person to track down, I ended up finding her working on a Brotherhood base just outside of Cambridge, the same place Vanessa met the Paladin who sponsored her into their ranks. From what it seems, our Sole Survivor made her little sister’s dreams come true, even if it did take well over 200 years for it.  _

*

“Knight Rhys! Stand down, I have agreed to speak to this civilian, she’s doing some kind of report on Paladin Everly, I said stand down. I’m sorry uh… Maple, wasn’t it? Oh, you’re already recording, um, oh uh, I’m sorry, please don’t, ah. R-right this way.”

“Paladin French, we aren’t supposed to have civilians on base, especially not ones with recording equipment. They could be leaking private Brotherhood information. Besides, Everly went AWOL, you’ve heard what they’re saying on the radio, what is she asking us information for?” 

“Oh Rhys, leave her alone. Paladin you can use the scribe’s room, I’m the only one on duty right now and I’ll make sure it stays clear. Oh, civilian, if you do hear from Everly, tell her to stay strong.”

“Right, right okay, what uh, what was it you wanted to know?”

“Everything and anything, from what I’ve heard, you knew Vanessa from before way better than her sister did, I’ve already spoken to her, she wasn’t much use if I’m being honest.”

“Oh, I doubt she was any use at all. Oh! Like, not to be rude of course, but she was always so jealous of our Vanny, she carried nothing but spite for her. It was sad really, Vanessa always tried so hard with her. I mean, we visited the Everly’s back in England a lot when we were children, but I only really like, remember her well since they moved here, back in 2066. God doesn’t it sound so crazy when you say it like that! Two hundred bloody years. 

Vanessa is six years older than me. So when we were kids I used to spend more time with Mila, but Vanessa used to like, babysit! And when I tell you I was over the moon when our Nathaniel announced they were engaged, you’d best believe it. I was elated when they moved over, at that point Vanny was, like, fifteen, I was 9, and my parents just couldn’t calm me down. Kept lecturing me on how it wasn’t ladylike. They did that a lot, Vanessa told me once that I was perfect the way I was, she was always like that, picking you up and making you feel better. 

I know what people say about her now, but I just can’t imagine her being that… bloodthirsty. Trust me, I know what this new world is like, I know the kind of things you have to do, I’ve been out of the Vault for probably a month or two and I’ve done all kinds of things. I can tell you what I do know, if she’s doing it, it’s probably for a good reason. Or more likely, it’s because for the first time in her life, she’s got some control, some power. She’s in charge of her life, and honestly, between you and I, I can’t blame her at all. My brother wasn’t the saint my parents and so many others thought he was, she deserves to be the queen or overboss or whatever it is they say she is. I wish her luck,, just hoping we don’t, like, cross paths under negative circumstances.”

*

_ There are some things about the Sole Survivor that are widely known, like the fact she’s from before the war, obviously, and some that are less known. One such thing is that she was General of the Minutemen. Whether she was still holding that title was arguable until her recent return to the Commonwealth from Nuka World, the pre-war theme park controlled by raiders, just over a month ago. _

_ Preston Garvey is one of the few remaining members of the Minutemen. They’d been on the upswing until Vanessa’s departure in around November time last year, 2087. At the time of this recording it is 4th of March, 2088. I spoke with Preston Garvey to discover what he had to say about the situation and ask for his personal insight into Vanessa Everly. _

*

“Ah, yes, she was the General, that’s for sure. And to begin with she was  _ amazing _ . Dedicated, brave, and genuinely kind hearted. She helped out settlers and built Sanctuary Hills into the  _ thriving _ ,  _ bustling _ settlement it is now. She took over the Castle for us, we were so close to building the Minutemen up to their former glory, the way they were when I always looked up to them as a kid.”

“What happened?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. Something in her changed. She snapped, yelled at me one day outside Red Rocket. I really don’t know what caused it, wish I did so I could try and fix it. I know what she’s up to nowadays, don’t fully know to what extent either, but I do know, the minute she and her… friends, try to touch one of our settlements, we won’t be able to stay neutral.”

*

_ Since returning to the Commonwealth earlier this month, it has become apparent that Everly has definitely turned to unexpected allies. It isn’t a new choice of hers, she has always been doing this. She has befriended people from all across the Commonwealth, from ghouls and synths to pre-war anomalies, faction leaders and wastelanders.  _

_ The last three people I spoke to were neutral parties. Those that are friends of Vanessa but not so much that their opinions might be swayed by their love for her. Two of which have ties to factions that are personally affected by Everly’s exploits, and one who seemingly tries to remain neutral. Erin, Fiona, and Victory. _

*

“Maple get that fucking thing out of my face.”

“Oh  _ Erin _ , we’re friends, you owe me one!”

“I don’t owe you shit, I brought you here!  _ Fiona _ , tell her.  _ What _ ? Don’t look at me like that. For f… Look, I don’t really know Ness personally, not that well anyway. Look, she’s just doing what she needs to survive, can’t fault her on that. Ok? We done here? Cool. Fi? Vi?”

“Hmm, well, I’ve run jobs for the Minutemen recently, and they seem a nice enough bunch, they just want to help people. But also, Vanessa opened her arms and the gates to her, um,  _ this _ settlement without barely a second thought. That was a huge show of trust to give complete strangers, especially with the way the Commonwealth has treated her. I don’t think she’s all good  _ or _ all bad, I think she’s a woman out of time, oh! Unintentional quote from my friend Piper! I think she started out just trying to get her baby back, none of us can blame her for that. Um,  _ yeah _ , I think that’s it…”

“Aha! I’m up! I’m Victory, I know Charmer through, uh, oh shit, what can I say?”

“Victory, you don’t need to yell, it’ll pick you up just fine.”

“Ah shucks, alright, sorry sugarcube. Uh,  _ whale _ , first time I met Charmer she was doin’ somethin’ real nice for someone she didn’t even know. I reckon that’s not only brave, and maybe a little stupid but is a right good show of her character. As long as I’ve known her she’s been doin’ shit for other people and even though I might not agree with what she’s doin’ now, I think she’s finally thinkin’ of herself for the first time in her life and that’s alrigh’ for me. 

Our Charmer has done nothin’ to mess with the good we’re tryin’ to do, so it ain’t hurtin’ us. I,  _ shit,  _ this is hard. I ain’t gonna tell you she’s a good person, I really ain’t, but I ain’t gonna tell you she’s a bad one neither, nor am I gonna tell you she’s gone bad or been manipulated or somethin’.

What did… what did  _ he  _ say? I reckon you can’t tell me, might change my opinion righ’? I don’t  _ know _ . She ain’t good, she ain’t evil she’s just kinda, eh,”

“Chaotic Neutral eez how I would bezt dezcribe Madame Everly!”

“H-hah, yes… Thank you C-Curie. Yes,  _ chaotic neutral.  _ I reckon me that sums her up pretty well. Miss Maple, sometimes things ain’t just as simple as good and evil, our Charmer has helped lots of people and done a lot of good, in her time and in ours. And now, she’s apparently a savage raider queen with a bloodlust. I don’t think any of us will know why she’s doin’ it, we don’t now and we might not ever. And I don’t reckon I can tell you she’s doin’ it for the right reasons neither, just… if you ever come across her, keep an open mind, y’here?”

*

_ There are several organisations vying for control of the Commonwealth, and all of which have had interactions with the Sole Survivor. Each has had a member personally involved with Vanessa and it was my goal to speak to them all, to get differing views on her. I spoke to Preston Garvey with the Minutemen and Paladin Antoinette French on behalf of the Brotherhood, unfortunately I think I’d find it difficult to speak with a member of the Institute, however, there is a fourth organisation.  _

_ The person I spoke to has had their name withheld to ensure their safety, but I will say that their morals are noble, their cause is a good one and I have infinite respect for them. Oh, but they do have a questionable sense of humour. _

*

“Vanessa has fascinated me since the day she left the vault. Seriously, I’ve been watching her since then. Hah! Don’t look at me like that, I’m joking, mostly. 

It was my job to keep tabs on her, she’s been an enigma since day one. I mean, a two hundred year old pin-up model survives nuclear destruction in an underground fridge-freezer, has a peculiar personal relationship with the Institute, boogeyman of the Commonwealth and chases a mercenary halfway across the wasteland in search of revenge. They’ll be writing  _ songs _ and  _ plays _ and  _ stories _ about her for years to come. I wanted a front row seat.”

“What about the first time you actually  _ met _ ? Your first impression of her? Not just you following her across Boston.” 

“Mm… you said you’d get me a drink if I did this for you, think I might need that drink  _ now,  _ ha. A cigarette will do though, have you got a match? Thanks. 

Ch, ah,  _ Vanessa  _ and I’s first meeting wasn’t as uh, savory? As others might’ve been. She’s been driving me up the wall since day one. Fell into my lap like a good investment did Vanessa, quite literally, she was all mops and brooms, if you drank her blood you’d probably be drunk out of your right mind.

I’m not going to say I was in my right mind, not that I’d need to be drunk to… anyway, we ended up heading back to her room, and uh,  _ fade-to-black  _ if you catch my drift. 

Look, I’ve always… like I said she’s fascinating. Anyone would find her fascinating, she’s always done well by me, by us, and whatever they’re saying now, it’s not complete bullshit but she’s not some savage fucking raider, you hear me? I’m not going to give you some rubbish that she’s doing this for good reasons, or tell you she’s good at heart and she wouldn’t hurt a bloatfly.

Honestly, I don’t _know_ why she’s doing it. I watched her, hmm, _kept an eye on her,_ when she first went to Nuka World, and I’ve been to see her a few times as she’s been setting up bases, and of course she’s been working with us since she came back, and she’s no more easier to read now than she was six months ago. 

Maybe she just wants to live her life like that, maybe it makes her feel strong, all I know is I’d follow her to the ends of the earth, because as much as she can be annoying sometimes, or stubborn or loud or,  _ drunk,  _ I  _ love _ that damn woman more than anything. 

_ Shit.  _

Look, Maple, it’s been great, and anyone will tell you I love to talk until the Brahmin come home but I think I’ve said more than enough. Come on now, turn that thing off. Seriously... ‘Cready come talk to your gal so she leaves me alone,  _ please _ .”

*

A woman stands, poised with an arched back over a map on a wooden table. 

Starlight Drive-In was taken for the new raider gang first, and it had become it’s leaders personal base of operations. It was a bustling settlement. With power, crops, a purified water source, chems producing equipment, radios, beer stills and comfortable beds, it was a veritable paradise in terms of Commonwealth Wasteland living. 

She is their Queen, their boss. She has her own living quarters set up inside the old cinema screen with many pre-war delights, even a “working” television and holotape player. It has comfy pillows and silken sheets. She has a myriad of dresses, even if she doesn’t get to wear them much anymore.

The Raider Queen has gotten a little skinnier, but she still has the amazing hourglass figure of the women from the magazines. In fact, if anything her muscles have simply toned up a little. The dark brown leather pants she wears hug her hips and show off her tummy (which is amazingly flat after having a child). Her top half is covered by a slightly torn, black, long sleeve cropped top. It has a sweetheart neckline that shows off her chest and it tapers off into a triangle shape. The sleeves of the shirt connect to a pair of black gloves with the thumbs cut out. 

A ratty, red fabric is connected to her pants, it’s like part of a skirt and serves no purpose besides looking pretty badass when the wind is blowing. Naturally, she has hip pouches to store things in, with a flask, a sheath for her sword and a holster for the pistol she’s had since the very beginning. 

Her hair is longer again, thick and curly and comes down way past her shoulders, somehow it’s kept it’s glossy, healthy sheen. But the most noteworthy part of her outfit is the armor pieces she has on her shoulders, legs and her shoes. They’re made of rusting yellow metal and spikes and match her partner. 

She stabs a dagger into a position on the map. And you see it isn’t the only dagger she has, as a tattoo of one is emblazoned on her forearm, below her wrist, the tip of the blade pointing towards her palm. It has delicate beading around the hilt and the pommel is a gem clutched in the hand of a deathclaw. It likely has some significance, or maybe she just wanted a change of pace from the gentle housewife stereotype she’s built up.

Someone comes into the room behind her, clutching a dagger of their own. They’re incredibly quiet, boots that normally attribute to naturally heavy footsteps being placed down so gently as to not make a sound. They have to, though, she isn’t as paranoid as she once was, but she is as sensitive to threat as a mother yao guai. 

The dagger catches a glint of the light and it reflects on the wall. Before our Raider Queen has a chance to react however, the blade is pressed against her throat and her arms are held tightly behind her back. She grins, and her tongue slides out across her glossy, red, bottom lip. “Hi, I’ve missed you.” “Hey, Nessie,” the raider murmurs against her ear, “I reckon I need t’take care of you for the evenin’. You been workin’ so damn hard recently.” Vanessa chuckles and stretches her neck. The blade nicks her lightly, just enough to sting. “Oh my, well, from now on, I’m not going anywhere without you,  _ Porter. _ ” “Good.”


	30. Peaceful and Safe

“Are the straps on your armor too tigh’?” 

Vanessa almost leapt out of her skin, glaring over her shoulder at the raider, who was leaning against a wall, cigarette hanging between his teeth. The faint red glow illuminated his face in a way that would’ve been menacing if she wasn’t so infatuated with him. She tugged her sleeve back up over the tracks on her arm and readjusted her shoulder piece before walking closer to him, plucking the cigarette from his mouth and stubbing it out on one of the metal bars of his chest piece. 

“No smoking, the light isn’t very low-key,” “I don’t like this sneakin’ around shit.” His hand moves to take another cigarette from his pocket and she smacks it away, frowning gently, “Porter your lack of self-control is concerning. I’m itching for a cigarette but even I can stop myself.” 

The minute she said it, it made her feel wrong, and she could feel the dull pain in her arm from the repeated Overdrive usage. She bit down on her tongue and went to turn away, he grabbed her arm, the pressure on the bruising made her hiss slightly, “you okay, Boss?” “Yes, yes of course I am, just a little nervous about the mission, you know me.” He pulled her in and pressed a kiss to her temple, “what we doin’, anyway?” 

A light flickered to life across the street. “We’re heading into what will likely be a trap, we think one of the safe houses have been compromised,” she kept her voice barely above a whisper as she pulled him through the shadows, “we’re going to meet Deacon, he remembers the way to Ticon better than I, it’s been months since I checked in there.” Gage’s brain almost makes the old dial-up internet sound as he works out where he recognises that name from. He doesn’t have to think for long. 

“Hey Charms’.  _ Wow _ , raider-chic really suits you. The dried blood really brings out the blue in your eyes,” “oh for fuck’s sake, not this asshole,” “feeling’s mutual my greedy violent friend.” She tries to ignore the fact they’re steadily getting louder as they continue to squabble. She fails. The Overdrive pumping through her system doesn’t do much to help her control herself.

“Gage, shut up, and Deacon, some spy you are, you don’t even know  _ how _ to shut up.” He grins at her and wraps his arms around her shoulders,  _ tight.  _ “It’s good to see you Charmer, not the same without you wandering drunk around HQ, or singing and cackling loudly in the early hours of the morning. Or both simultaneously.” Both of them hold on a little longer than they should, Vanessa does it because she’s  _ homesick _ , and, well, why Deacon doesn’t want to let go needs no explanation. 

Gage clears his throat, “let’s get movin’.” Vanessa reaches up to pinch his cheek, before turning back to Deacon, “come on, Dee, get us up to Ticon.” He nods, switching the rounds in his pistol, Vanessa couldn’t remember the last time she used a laser weapon. Must’ve been with Danse. Her stomach turned. “Deacon you bring up the front, Gage follow behind, you’re not particularly stealthy, I’ll bring up the rear.” The spy opened his mouth to say something, likely lewd, but was cut off by Gage jabbing the barrel of his rifle into his back, “let’s go.” 

The Overboss waited for a moment, watching as the two men disappeared into the shadowy streets of Boston, once they were sufficiently out of view, she pressed her back against the wall so she was definitely out of  _ their _ line of sight, and fumbled through her hip pouches. The syringes glinted in the moonlight, and she yanked one of her sleeves down, jamming it straight into the bruise already there. Her teeth sank into her bottom lip to muffle her whine, and she tossed the empty syringe to the ground before trotting after them.

“Ticon is coming up on our left. The lantern is lit.” 

Vanessa squinted at the building, she remembered it somewhat now she was there, and Deacon was right, a light flickered slightly ahead of them. “Is tha’ a bad thing?” Vanessa hadn’t wanted to ask, in case it was a stupid question, so was grateful the raider did so. “Well, not very undercover if we have lit lanterns outside all of our hideouts.” She supposed that was right, “well y’had a lantern t’get us t’come over earlier.” She supposed  _ that  _ was right too. Deacon sighed just ahead of them. “Charms’, look for signs, I’m gonna see if the terminal is active.” 

Vanessa nodded and walked past Gage to look around the outskirts of the building, switching on her Pip-Boy light. “Why’s he call you that?” She glanced up at him, before looking back down at the wall, “we all have codenames. I’m Charmer. Deacon won’t tell anyone his real name, you met Drummer Boy back at HQ,  _ and _ Tinker Tom. Did you not think any of those names were peculiar?” Gage shrugged and scuffed at the ground with the tip of his boot, following her inside the bottom floor of Ticonderoga, “I mean, I’ve been around raiders for years, you come across some right strange names.  _ Drumming Boy _ and  _ Twinky Tom  _ aren’t anythin’ compared to Ack-Ack or Helter Skelter or Gristle. Where’s Charmer come from?”

“You knew Gristle?” Vanessa asked after a moment of silence, coming to the conclusion she was searching for something that wasn’t there, “no signs Dee.” She turned to see the raider nodding as he studied his rifle, “eyup,  _ a _ Gristle anyway, not for years mind you,” “tanned? White hair, brown eyes?” He glanced up at her, a frown pulling at his features, “eyup, I got competition, Boss?” The laugh that slipped from her slightly too loudly made Deacon throw her a glare, “ _ God  _ no! I killed him on my first day out of the Commonwealth, I got some nice metal raider-style armor pieces from his corpse that kept me alive for a while. Are we ready to head up, Deacon?” 

She walked past the old raider, who chuckled quietly and shook his head, “I like y’more everyday I know ya, Nessie…” She didn’t hear him, which he was quite happy with. More than happy with. The thing he wasn’t happy with, however, was just how friendly his Nessie was with Deacon. He’d heard her stories of the missions she used to go on with the Railroad, and he was grateful for the fact the spy had kept her alive when she was out and about, but the lingering touches, the smug smiles and then there was the fact he just  _ knew  _ that behind those glasses, his eyes were on more than just her face.

There were the rumours too. He followed her to Boston about a month ago and he’d heard plenty of those. In fact, he heard enough from the Railroad alone when she had dragged him down earlier today. Whispers of a secret relationship between them. And bloody hell it surprised him that he got so bothered about that, and the other casual mentions of her love life as they flitted about Boston together. It was a lot more intense when they first started out (now people tended to be quiet if not avoid her altogether), she’s with “that spy”,  _ no _ it’s “the grumpy young merc with the sniper rifle”. He hadn’t met the mercenary, but assumed he’d probably piss him off as much as Deacon did. At least last time Nessie had been pissed off with him too. 

The fact he didn’t know why he was annoyed was the worst part. There was an easy solution, if their relationship was public, people would back off with the rumours, and Deacon would keep his hands and eyes off her. On top of that, whenever she was hit on he could just shoot them, and as much as he was playing the act of a bodyguard, that wouldn’t fly if he shot every wastelander who so much as looked at her. 

But he didn’t _want_ to be public. Neither of them did. They both agreed it was too much risk. So why the fuck was he so, “hands off the boss, _Deacon_.” He was toeing the fucking line. Pushing his luck. “Only steadying her so she doesn’t fall, _big_ _guy_ ,” “well your hands don’t need to be that fucking low.” Vanessa tutted at the pair of them, before hushing loudly. Getting up the stairs was tricky enough in heels, and trying to do it quietly didn’t help. The pair were exhausting, and as much as she could understand Gage’s frustration, it didn’t make his behaviour appropriate. 

“Deacon, what is going to be behind this door?” They’d reached the top floor, six aching legs between them, but the lift was too risky. He hummed, “a long corridor, with adjacent rooms, a nice kitchen and-,” “shut the fuck up asshole,” “ _Porter!_ _Please_ , can the _pair_ of you make an attempt to be at least somewhat civil.” Deacon nodded, turning his back to clean his sunglasses on the hem of his shirt, “survivors are possible, but it’s definitely been compromised,” “the lack of railsigns isn’t a good look, do you think we can take down a Courser?” 

Gage cleared his throat, the conversation was going back and forth like a game of tennis, and he couldn’t lie at how it was a little too much, “Courser?” Vanessa spun round to look at him and he could feel the glare from behind Deacon’s glasses, “oh, love, a Courser is a type of synth that the Institute uses to… basically make lives miserable. They’re tough, incredibly so. Oh, and they look very much like regular people.” “Y’know, I think we’ll be fine, you and I are the dream team, and with muscles over here, we’ve got a scapegoat or a human shield.” 

Both the Railroad agents ignored the flurry of curses that came from the raider, and shared a glance. Vanessa nodded and hastily withdrew her sword as Deacon wrenched open the door, jamming it straight into a Gen 1 on the other side. Gage was behind her before Deacon had a chance to, his gun poised at the ready. So ready in fact, that he took down two of the synths consecutively, the moment they rounded the corner. She winked at him over her shoulder, which led to him very maturely flashing a smug grin at Deacon, who rolled his eyes in response. 

“So much for stealthy,” Deacon grunted, “ _ fucking raiders _ .” 

The said ‘fucking raiders’ seemed happy enough. Yes, Gage’s rifle fire hadn’t been particularly covert, but it was successfully funneling synths into the hallway. A courser would be smarter, it could get into the lift and escape, easily avoiding all of them, but the gen 1’s and 2’s barely knew better than to just charge headfirst directly into Nessie’s blade. They were practically impaling themselves on it  _ for _ her. 

In fact she even feigned an over-dramatic yawn, stretching her arms above her head, “rather boring, isn’t it?” She dropped her arms and carved her sword clean through an already damaged gen 1, it seemed the railroad members here had put up as much of a fight as they could. It also seemed Vanessa had gotten much more confident, and  _ better _ in combat too, Deacon was glad of that fact, it meant he didn’t have to worry too much about watching her back so much. He caught the look in the old raider’s eye when he looked down at Vanessa and smiled, it seemed he didn’t have to worry about watching her back at all anymore. Not only was she doing a damn fine job of protecting herself, but she had Gage to do it for her too. 

Vanessa leant against the wall to clean the blade of her sword, the flurry of synths had halted, and the shot of Overdrive was beginning to do the same. She rubbed her face with her hand and let a slow breath out from her nose. “You coming down, Charmer?” “ _ What _ ? What are you talking about?” She snapped, glaring at him. Both men were confused by her change in tone, and shared a silent glance at one another, she was always unpredictable,  _ chaotic neutral,  _ but recently both had noticed her emotions being a little more out of control than usual. 

Sudden bursts of energy, more strength and courage in combat, the seemingly insatiable bloodlust. Then on the other end of the spectrum, her stubbornness had gone through the roof, she was snappier sometimes and who could ignore the circles around her eyes. 

She was going through a lot, and that was the excuse both Gage and Deacon were using. Planning for the inevitable assault on her son and his Institute, where they all knew what she’d have to do to him. To their legacy. To all that really remained of her family, of her life before. Not to mention how she was trying to take over the entire Commonwealth, or at least plan how she was going to do it for him. 

Yet again Vanessa was doing things for other people. Did she really want the Commonwealth? None of them were sure, in fact nobody was sure. Opinions of her across the Commonwealth were so complex and varying, and nobody could ever get a read on her. In fact, she couldn’t get a read on herself, nor did she even know if she was taking the ‘Wealth because she wanted it, or because Gage wanted it. 

“Coming down from your adrenaline rush.” Deacon mumbled. She shrugged and pressed her back harder against the wall, sliding down to sit on the floor, sword back in it’s sheath on her belt. “Yes, yes of course. Most likely. I presumed you were accusing me of being a junkie,” she giggled and he laughed with her, a little uneasily, “you go on ahead upstairs, scout out the Courser, we don’t need one of those getting the jump on us.” Deacon nodded and readied a stealth-boy on his belt, heading up the stairs, “Gage, go with him, I don’t want Desdemona shoving a pistol down my throat because he’s gotten himself shot.” 

“But, Boss, you ain’t lookin’ so good. Ah, I don’t mean it like  _ tha’ _ , you’re still the sexiest thing in the wasteland, but uh,  _ shit, yeah _ , I’ll go up. Holler if y’need me.” The raider seemingly faltered before moving up the stairs, he was worried about his Overboss. What was she playing at?  _ God,  _ he was dying for a cigarette, she was probably feeling the same way. He nodded to himself as he made his way up the stairs after the spy, that explained her strange behaviour, she needed a cigarette and that was why she was being so antsy.

There was, of course, a familiar, clawing, unnerving thought scratching at the back of his brain. She was keeping something from him. Again. He dragged his nails against the back of his head. His hair was starting to get long again, but the last time Vanessa had tried to cut it, her hands had been shaking like she was one of the Disciples and she hadn’t killed something in seven minutes. 

Actually, her hands  _ had _ been shaking like she was a chem addict who really needed to get high. Because she was. And now she was feeling the same way, She had no idea how she was so desperate for another hit when it wasn’t long since she’d had the last one. She made a mental note to drop by Red Rocket and ask Maple to teach her how to make stronger dosages. Or show her if she was doing something wrong, because it was the batches she made that seemingly hit differently. She’d thought about moving onto straight Psycho, but she knew first-hand that the side effects for that particular chem were much more serious, and noticeable. That and moving onto harder stuff only made her feel more like a dirty chem addict. She was still desperately attempting to convince herself she wasn’t. 

There were a few more doses inside her pouch, enough to get her through the day and back to base. It was hard to make up big batches, especially with the fact Gage rarely left her side. That was also making it hard for her to keep herself topped up, now she had a perfect chance to get another dosage. But would it be a waste of a hit she would need later? Would she even be able to get that later hit in?

She stuffs the syringe, that she didn’t remember getting out, back into her pouch, and she ran up the stairs after two of her favourite people in the world. She was barely halfway up the stairs when the rifle fire rang out through the penthouse. It was followed by an excessive amount of laser shots, enough for two laser weapons, which meant Gage got the drop on the Courser. But him firing upon them without a second thought worried her. 

Her heels clatter against the stairs as she runs up them, her arms spread out to her sides to keep herself balanced, “ _ Gage _ !  _ Deacon _ ! Are you both alright?” The sight isn’t what she’s expecting. The Courser is administering a stimpak, and Deacon is slumped over against the wall. Gage’s arms are around him. 

The next series of events are a blur. To  _ all _ in the room. Vanessa has all of the medical supplies, but she doesn’t even think twice about it. Both Deacon and Gage are trying to stop the bleeding and the Courser is scrambling for his pistol. He doesn’t get to it before Vanessa’s heel is slammed straight into his wrist. The crack of bone shattering is bloodcurdling, and despite the things Vanessa has done, if she wasn’t riding a rage-fuelled-drug-high she would’ve felt ill over it.

Gage yells at her, and Deacon makes an attempt to do the same. His voice is only just above a whisper. It cracks and croaks and yet it still doesn’t trigger that motherly instinct. Normally she’d be by his side in an instant. 

The reason for their yelling is clearer than their words, as the Courser swings at her, having staggered to his feet. It’s obviously his non-dominant hand. She easily dodges, and curls her fingers around his wrist. Emotion finally crosses the face of the synth.

It’s  _ fear _ .

Coursers are trained  _ killing machines _ . And yet, this one is afraid of  _ her _ .

She was once a sign of hope in the Wasteland.

Now she’s the Angel of Death. The Raider Queen. The  _ Overboss _ .

It’s another thing that should bother her far more than it does.

Something about Overdrive, that I may have neglected to mention, is the boost to strength whilst high. It’s necessary to remember when I tell you that Vanessa somewhat easily managed to fight the Courser hand to hand. Especially when, despite the synth only having one useful hand, he still should’ve been able to beat her under normal circumstances.

She tutted and held his wrist, wagging her finger side to side as she slowly bent it back. “Naughty, naughty.  _ Now,  _ you’re going to be a good boy and tell me everything you know.” The synth doesn’t respond immediately, so she promptly wrenches his wrist back even further. The bones threaten to break and he lets out a pained whine as his fingertips begin to bend backwards. 

“ _ Charmer!  _ That’s enough! We don’t torture people. Institute or not!” It’s impressive he’s able to get his voice loud enough for her to hear, but Deacon’s pleas don’t get through to her still. Gage has no words. This is new to him. He doesn’t dislike it. In fact he has no qualms with her actions at all. 

“Come on, now, surely the Institute will have no use for you with  _ two  _ broken wrists.” The Courser spits at her and his screams flood the room. Clearly they  _ do  _ feel pain, and this one has met his limits. “Wrong answer,” she releases his hand and he drops to his knees, holding both arms close to his chest. He lets out a dry sob and looks up at her with nothing but a placid contempt in his eyes. “I know  _ nothing _ ! We discovered this was a Railroad safehouse and I was dispatched to wipe it out. Beyond that I know  _ nothing _ , you will get no information from me,  _ harlot _ .” 

The Overboss smiles, her head tilting to the side before she bends down over him. The Courser can feel her breath tickling his face. He can smell the vodka and cigarettes on her breath and the faint floral scent of her perfume. Below that he can smell blood. Metallic, dull. Her hands come to rest on either side of his face, and her palms are surprisingly soft.

_ For such soft hands they are so covered in blood.  _

The movement barely requires a flick of her wrists and the courser slumps over. Lifeless. Deacon hisses through gritted teeth, both because of the pain and because he’s beginning to realise he’s lost her. And he really doesn’t want to give up on her. 

The motion of her pulling Nathaniel’s pistol from it’s holster is smoother than her skin, and one round is fired into the back of the Courser’s head. It’s for  _ good measure,  _ but it is blatantly obvious he’s already dead. Maybe she truly  _ is  _ too far gone.

The room is silent. But it’s the pained gasp from Deacon that brings Vanessa back, and she’s wistfully gazing over her shoulder at the pair of them. And something seemingly switches back on in her head and she rushes over, pushing Gage away from the spy. 

“Shit… Shitting  _ Christ, _ Deacon, I’m sorry. Oh my Christ, I’m so sorry.  _ What happened _ ?” She lifts him up with the aid of the chem and rests his head in her lap, running one of her hands over the stubble on his head whilst the other tugged up his shirt. “He jumped in front of the fuckin’ shot for me.” Gage sounds lost, he looks down at the spy’s blood on his hands, and then back at Vanessa’s face as she cradles his head. Normally that would give him a surge of jealousy, but he’s still bewildered at what just happened. Deacon hates his guts. He makes that clear,  _ frequently _ . But here he is, bleeding out from a laser shot that was meant for him, on Vanessa’s lap. 

“I... “ She trails off before she can even get the words out, equally as baffled as the other raider, “well, we’re lucky lasers tend to cauterise wounds, and that it happened here today, otherwise we’d be having to deal with an infection as well.” 

Deacon is silent. Staring up at Vanessa, trying desperately to ignore the pain he’s in. He lets his mind wander to keep himself distracted, he lies to himself, as he does to other people. As he does to _her_. 

He isn’t bleeding out on the floor of Ticonderoga, surrounded by the bodies of former allies, in the lap of the woman he loves as she clearly holds back tears, desperately trying to administer him a stimpak. Instead, it’s peaceful and it’s safe. She never left for Nuka World. Her time is dedicated to him, and to fighting the Institute, and they’ve  _ won _ . His head rests in her lap still, but they’re at Red Rocket instead, surrounded by friends and allies. Shaun is playing with the MacCready boys. He can feel the roundness of her tummy behind his head. It’s peaceful and it’s safe. Barbara would be happy with him, he did a good job and he’s made up for all his wrong doings, and she’s glad he’s moved on. It’s peaceful and it’s safe, and he can sleep. 

It’s not real though. 

It’s not peaceful,

It’s not safe. 

Vanessa is sobbing whilst jamming another stimpak into his abdomen. He knows it’s the second because he can see one on the floor. Has he been out of it for a while? Porter Gage sits behind her and gently strokes her head. And although his fantasy isn’t real, he realises  _ why  _ he’s in this position in the first place. One day she will be sitting in the sunlight at Red Rocket surrounded by friends and allies, in a world where there is no Institute.  _ She _ will be peaceful, and  _ she will be safe _ . Just not with him. Deacon knows that  _ Gage _ makes her happy and that’s why he took that shot for him. Because he can’t stand to see her upset, even after everything has changed. Even her. 


	31. There is no Glory in War

“You love her.”

It’s a statement, not a question. 

One that _should_ scare the _shit_ out of Deacon. Especially when it’s coming specifically _from_ _him_. And it’s specifically _about_ _her._

He looks over at the woman in question. She’s asleep on a mattress on the floor in the only cleared room in Ticonderoga. None of them have been brave enough to touch any of the bodies. It just didn’t feel right for Deacon or Vanessa, and Gage probably couldn’t be bothered, but had muttered something about it not being his place to do so. 

It’s been a day since they took down the Courser, and they’ve finally convinced her to sleep. She was out like a rock the minute she got her head down on the pillow. It had taken them half the evening before to get her to get out of her armor and put her weapons down, and then the rest of the time they’d been there had been dedicated to pestering her about relaxing or calming down or asking what was wrong with her. 

The worst thing is, he does love her. And thanks to Maple’s holotape diary and almost fucking  _ dying,  _ he has realised he loves her and he  _ can’t _ ignore it. Not like he has been.

“What do you mean?” 

Gage laughs, it’s harsh, loud and forced. Too loud in fact. Vanessa murmurs in her sleep and they both jerk their heads in her direction, praying to whatever-God she doesn’t wake up. 

Their prayers are answered. She rolls over in her sleep. She’s facing them now. She looks so peaceful and calm and both of their faces soften. 

“I thought you were meant t’be smart? I didn’t say somethin’ complicated. Trust me on that one. She’s…  _ yeah _ .” Deacon looks over at the raider, there’s something indecipherable about his expression as he fidgets with a cigarette. “I ain’t gonna tell her if you’re worried about tha’. I’m her right-hand man, not her… confident or whatever,” “confidant,” “ _ whatever. _ ” 

Even with all his spying,  _ and obsession,  _ Deacon doesn’t know the full extent of the relationship between the two raiders. He remembered the adoration in her eyes when she looked at Gage the day they’d found her on the floor of that old house, her hair in tatters on the ground. He’s seen the way they share smiles, and glances. He almost thinks he’s caught veneration in the old raider’s eyes when he looks at  _ her,  _ but maybe it’s just because she’s the Overboss, she saved his life after all,  _ and  _ he’s her bodyguard. 

“And you think, you think I  _ love  _ her?” Deacon watches Gage from behind his glasses, he notices the twitch at the corner of his mouth. “I ain’t thinkin’ it. I’m knowin’ it. Maybe you’re worried I’m gonna shoot ya? Well you ain’t gotta worry about tha’ neither, I don’t reckon she’d be much pleased about that.” 

“She does make it easy to love her, doesn’t she?”

Deacon says it without a second thought. And for the first time, Gage smiles at him. Actually  _ at  _ him. Maybe Ness is right, maybe he is alright once you get to know him. He definitely never comes across as what Deacon would typically define as  _ “raider” _ .

“She does indeed.” 

He almost doesn’t hear it. He mutters it barely above his breath, and he has the cigarette between his teeth as he lights it. But he does hear it. Hearing things like that is valuable in his line of work. “You know, she has those eyes that just make your chest ache.” Deacon is testing the waters now, gauging for an interesting reaction, attempting to ascertain the full extent of their relationship. Someone loving her was nothing new, he didn’t even need to worry about that, but he’d always wanted to keep her safe.  _ His  _ Charmer. 

“ _ She does indeed. _ ” The raider repeats, a smile well and truly dancing on his features now.

Quite suddenly she sits bolt upright. Both of them share the same immediate assumption that she’s having a bad dream. It’s a common occurrence. But then she weakly calls out, “ _ Gage _ ?” and Deacon’s chest falls. She presses the heels of her palms on her eyes and rubs them, Gage wrinkles his nose and flicks the ash of his cigarette onto the floor, “Nessie, go back t’sleep.” 

She’s silent for a moment. And then she pulls her hands away from her face. Deacon finds his heart beating far too hard, and all the way up his throat, and it lurches when her eyes focus in on him and she breathes a sigh of relief, “ _ Deacon!  _ You’re okay. You’re…  _ alive. _ ” She looks like she has more to say, but instead she slides further over the mattress and then pats the space next to her. He glances at Gage first out of the corner of his eyes, he is staring  _ intently  _ down at his rifle, like it’s the most interesting fucking thing in the world. He gets up from the table and sits down on the mattress, his back braced against the wall. She clicks her fingers and beckons for Gage to come over too, and Deacon almost makes some stupid comment about a threesome. Gage sits down and Vanessa flops her legs over his lap, and then places her head in Deacon’s. 

He doesn’t know how to react. Casual affection between the two of them used to be just that, casual. But now? Things feel strange. His fingers find themselves in her hair and they just twist up in her curls. His breath catches in his throat as she turns to look at him and pushes his shirt up. Her fingertips lightly stroke the still healing scar on his stomach. “I’m glad you’re okay.” Gage’s grip on her leg tightenes. “I’m  _ fine _ , Charms, you don’t need to worry about me,” “you know I do.”

Deacon really loves her. 

But so does Gage. 

“To lose thee,” she begins, her voice hoarse with sleep and lack thereof, “sweeter than to gain all other hearts I knew. ‘Tis true the drought is destitute, but then, I had the dew!” She pauses and closes her eyes, “the Caspian has it’s realms of sand, it’s other realm of sea. Without the sterile perquisite, no Caspian could be.”

_ Vanessa really loves them both. _

*

“Charmer! Deacon! Uh… southern fella!” 

Victory startles all three of them, including the spy who makes it his personal goal to not be startled by anything. 

They’re about ten minutes away from Railroad HQ when the white haired synth jumps down from the second floor of an almost entirely destroyed pre-war building. Vanessa hadn’t even known synths could wrinkle, but there were unmistakable lines on her forehead and eye bags that said otherwise. Must’ve been a hard month or so. 

“I’m real glad I caught you, some crazy Brotherhood soldier showed up this mornin’ demanding to see ya,” the last time Victory told her a soldier had showed up at Red Rocket, it was Danse, that familiar storm of emotions began to brew, “she knew where HQ was. I don’t know how. She wouldn’t tell me how. Turned out it was your sister, she’s looking  _ good. _ ” 

_ They  _ need  _ to tell her about High Rise. _

Red dusting covered the synth’s nose and cheeks, “but uh,  _ yeah,  _ she’s outside the Church, needs to get goin’ back to that big fuck off airship so it gotta be quick.” She immediately broke into a jog. The two raiders and the spy were unsure as to  _ what the fuck  _ was going on, but followed Victory anyway, coming to an old building further away from the Old North Church.

Antoinette is standing just inside the building, visible through the open door. Her glossy brown hair is pulled back into a simple bun, with the front part of her hair pinned up in curls atop her head. Vanessa used to love experimenting with Annie’s hair, her own hair would never stay in such elegant designs, especially the one Annie was wearing right now, she’d taught the younger woman to do it herself. 

“Oh Vanny, thank God you’re here.” She throws her arms around Vanessa, and presses her face into her shoulder, “it’s been so long and I’m… I’m sorry, I’m really,  _ really  _ sorry, if I knew sooner I would’ve contacted you sooner. I promise.” Vanessa pulls away and scrunches up her nose, “whoa whoa whoa, calm down, what on Earth are you talking about?”

Annie shuffles nervously and glances down at the watch on her wrist, “we don’t have much time. Honestly, I didn’t know, I promise! When I found out I came straight here, I didn’t even get the chance to speak to Arthur about it. Kells discovered the location of your hideout and he’s launching a full scale attack. He plans to wipe all of you out. I don’t know if he knows about you specifically but…” 

Vanessa swore loudly, and viciously, before spitting onto the floor. Deacon’s heart leapt into his throat and he thought he might be sick, “Thank you… Annie…” he managed to choke out, perhaps he was too harsh when he first met her, perhaps his assumption she would be even more of an enemy to them when she turned Brotherhood was wrong too. I mean, here she was, clad in the clean, black, jumpsuit of a high-ranking Brotherhood soldier with nothing more than a laser pistol to protect herself. It wasn’t clear whether she was only trusting Vanessa, or if she genuinely didn’t see the Railroad as her enemy, but he couldn’t deny that what she did today was noble. 

“Glory is down there.” Victory croaks out with a whimper, “we need to help them!” Annie shakes her head, “you can’t go in through the church, I’ve stalled them as long as I can but they’ll go in guns blazing soon, I don’t outrank Kells. Arthur is already going to have my hide for holding them off this long. I  _ can _ tell you that if you have a back entrance we haven’t found it. I can maybe hold them off for another ten minutes or so, but I can’t stop them from attacking. If you can get everyone out,  _ please do.  _ Vanny I’m not being sent down to aid in the attack but please don’t fight back. Vanessa? Vanessa what are you going to do?” 

Victory and Vanessa had left without a word, their weapons at the ready. Gage moved after her without a second thought, and Deacon almost did the same, not before turning to look at Annie, holding out a hand, “truce?” Annie smiles at him, tears in her eyes, “truce.” He nods, and jogs after the others, who were already inside the escape tunnel. 

  
  


“Desdemona!  _ Des! _ ” 

Gage tossed Vanessa  _ The Problem Starter,  _ a colourful handmade raider-rifle that she’d taken from Mason shortly after their first run-in. Despite having her laser sniper-rifle strapped to her back, Victory was holding Tommy Whisper’s  _ Deliverer  _ tight enough to make her dark knuckles turn a sickly pale colour. Gage had his own rifle ready and Deacon followed close behind, clinging to his Sniper Rifle like a child to their teddy bear. 

“Desdemona get everyone ready for a fight, Brotherhood are here!” Deacon yelled it, hoping she’d hear him, but there was no response. “Fuck this, Deacon, Gage, go on ahead, get Desdemona and everyone ready for a fight, we’ll head straight through to the catacombs.” Gage looked like he wanted to argue, but for once Deacon didn’t. He just nodded and silently dashed through the tunnels. 

Once the two men in her life made their way out of the tunnel and into the next room, Nessie shoved her rifle into Victory’s grip and yanked her armor up and her sleeve down, leaning against the wall to ready herself for a hit of Overdrive. “Charmer? What are you doin’?” “Victory, not now, please. Don’t judge, don’t say anything, just…  _ fuck, there we go _ .” Victory sighs and checks that  _ Deliverer  _ is loaded, “imma have words with Maple when we’re back. Turned you into a damn chem addict. Y’know y’can’t keep it from them forever.” Vanessa sighs and drops it back into her pouch, “I don’t intend on doing so. Now come on, I don’t need a lecture.”

Desdemona is ready with the others. There is an eerie silence like a heavy mist through HQ and it sent chills worming down the spines of all in the room. Deacon runs over, his feet silent on the old stone floors and he squeezes Vanessa’s arm, “there’s still time to bolt, Charms. There’s still time for us to get the others out at least. We can stick down here and fight them off whilst everyone else escapes if we really have to.”

She shakes her head, eyes drifting from his face to the raider’s behind him for just a moment, “no. They’ve taken out so many of our heavies, the least we can do is wipe out one Brotherhood patrol,” he opened his mouth to speak and Vanessa hissed through gritted teeth, “I am  _ not  _ going down without a fight, Deacon. They can drag my bloody corpse out the Catacombs back to Maxson. At least he’ll smile for once.” 

Machine Gun fire goes wild in the next room, along with gatling guns and laser rifles. 

Desdemona is the one to break the tension in the room, “action stations everyone. Let’s show the Brotherhood that we aren’t to be fucked with.” Victory is itching for a fight, but she seems unhealthily nervous, “Glory,” “what?” “Where the  _ fuck  _ is Glory?” Vanessa flinches and grabs Vi’s hand, dragging her through to the catacombs. 

Glory is holding her own, barely, the Brotherhood are coming through in droves, to the point that even the most hardcore Heavy the Railroad looks like she’s going to give up. But now she’s got backup; the pre-war pin-up, the spy that’s a pathological liar, her stubborn southern synth “sister” and a grumpy middle-aged raider. The dream team. The uh,  _ Death Bunnies. _

Vanessa and Gage quickly make light work of the first few soldiers to come through. They’re out of power armor. A few Vanessa is certain she recognises (some of them definitely recognise her). She buries the thought. It makes her feel queasy. Deacon and Victory take over whilst the raiders step back and reload their rifles. 

Glory is wobbling on her feet, and she’s struggling to keep her minigun raised. The others don’t seem to notice. Vanessa is caught up in riding out her wild Overdrive high and her rapidly heightening bloodlust, Gage is making sure his Overboss gets out of this with little more than bruises and Deacon and Victory are committed to keeping the best family they’ve ever had  _ alive. _

Acutely aware of the only just healed wound in his stomach, Deacon is trying his best to not further injure himself. He dodges laser fire as much as he can, and tries to follow Gage and Charmer’s technique of fatal shots the moment the soldiers are within range, it’s not so easy with a sniper rifle. 

He can hear his blood rushing in his ears as Vanessa throws herself in front of a laser rifle pointed at him. The laser burns clean into her bare collar, yet she doesn’t even flinch, yanking her sword from her belt and tossing her rifle to the side of the room. He screams at her but she just smiles, and slams a syringe into her arm. 

He assumes it’s a stim. 

He assumes wrong. 

He forces a smile back at her as she runs at the Brotherhood soldiers, and then decides to follow her lead, pulling his knife from his belt. 

Deacon copied her movements, pressing his back against the wall by the doorway. He takes in the sight of the room, a railroad agent who’s name he shamefully doesn’t know lies dead by the walkway into their HQ. Glory stands back there by the corpse and is looking pale. 

He assumes she’s just stressed, or overwhelmed.

He assumes wrong.

Gage’s body shudders with the continuous rifle fire. In the dark of the catacombs he is only lit up by said rifle fire, and the lit cigarette hanging between his gritted teeth. Victory is standing close to him and is hurriedly reloading  _ Deliverer,  _ her eyebrows drawn together which did nothing but heighten the growing wrinkles across her forehead.

He jams his knife into the stomach of a soldier who rushes round the door. It’s a young boy, no older than nineteen. He feels him go limp in his grip and his eyes go dull. It’s unsettling. Killing people this close up and watching them  _ die _ is unsettling. It’s more than disconcerting. He doesn’t know how Charmer does it, he wants to get a gun again already and now he understands even more why she likes to drink and smoke, why she used to avoid combat. In fact he’s surprised she hasn’t turned to chems or hurting herself. 

_ All that guilt. All those dead eyes. _

The knife slides out easier than one would expect. The young soldier collapses and Deacon takes his rifle, murmuring a quiet apology. He’s used them before but knives aren’t for him. 

The familiar clattering of metal on metal alerted the Railroad agents to the end of their battle, to the Power-armored asshole in charge of the attack. Vanessa’s first panic-stricken thought is that it’s Annie. She had seen her in the black jumpsuit she had always believed was only given to higher ranking members, like officers, or sentinels. But if she was wearing the black uniform, she  _ definitely  _ had power armor. 

When a male Knight rounded the corner (without his helmet), all were relieved. 

Before any of them could react, he fired off a single shot from his Gauss rifle. He seemed to be aiming for Vanessa but instead, hit Glory, who shoved the pre-war woman out of the way. The synth agent cried out, and her “sister” immediately opened fire with her sniper rifle, instead of  _ Deliverer. _ Her three lasers found it’s target, right between the Knight’s eyes. 

No more gunshots. No more shouting. There are faint relieved cheers and cries from the main HQ room, but in the catacombs, all that can be heard is panting. 

And the pained, desperate whimpers of a Railroad agent who has been critically injured. One who was injured before the fight even properly started and has just been injured significantly more. 

Glory and Vanessa hadn’t gotten on when they first met, and they’d had disagreements in recent weeks because of her recent behaviour, but behind the scenes the two had become thick as thieves. She always found the time to stop in HQ even if just for a chat, or to share a bottle of something alcoholic. 

But Glory’s relationship with Victory was more complicated. They were  _ sisters _ . Biologically in a way I suppose. They shared similar synth designations, (G7-81 and X7-81), they looked similar, Glory had saved her from the Institute. They’d gone on missions before, they had perfect records. But since the Switchboard went down, and  _ Tommy… _ they’d been estranged. Victory wasn’t allowed back at HQ and Glory didn’t have enough time to trek to the Red Rocket just for a social visit. 

But even so, despite it all, they loved each other. As much as two synth sisters  _ can  _ love one another.

Victory’s scream rings out, echoed and ethereal, through the dusty old catacombs. It’s feminine and desperate and so out of character for her. She hits the ground harder than Glory’s minigun, and pulls the other synth into her arms. 

Glory is limp, but not yet lifeless. 

“Stim! Please! Get me a fuckin’ stim! Get her the stim, she needs it.  _ Please. _ ” Her eyes are swimming with tears and she’s shaking worse than Vanessa as she comes down from her high. Glory’s weak hand wraps around Victory’s. It’s clammy, yet  _ cold _ . “Too late, Vi,” “no! No! Fuck off! No it isn’t!” 

They all know it is. 

Even Victory. 

But she doesn’t want to give up. It’s  _ always  _ been her and Glory. For as long as she can remember, since there are no memories of the Institute, not really anyway. 

Glory cups her sister’s cheek, it’s a delicate motion that is as out of character as Victory’s sobbing. “Vi look at you... such a mess,” “the one time you don’t wear the fuckin’ coat, G!” Her hands are covered in the other synths blood at this point. Glory laughs, and then sucks in a sharp breath, “damn… that stings… Listen, the Raiload’s always sitting on its hand…” She cries out in pain. “You and Charmer? You’re the best thing that’s ever happened.”

Vanessa crouches down next to Victory, and places a hand on the small of her back, “how bad is it?” Deacon sighs, and pulls off his glasses to rub his face, “not good.” Glory laughs again, “no escape… this time,” she coughs. It’s bloody. Victory wipes it away with the sleeve of her jacket. “Hold on, you will make it through,” Vanessa chokes out, taking one of the Med-X syringes from her pack. She looks to Deacon for confirmation. He nods, and smiles over at his old friend as Vanessa slips it into Glory’s side, “yeah, Glory, you can make it. You’re indestructible.” 

Glory relaxes as the Med-X floods her system. Her eyes are full of tears too now, but she doesn’t dare let them fall, “bullshit.” She spits, reaching to catch one of the tears that slides down Victory’s face with her thumb. 

“Promise me… you’ll free them?  _ All of them. _ ”

Victory nods far too aggressively, and opens her mouth, but can’t get any words out. “I promise,” Vanessa whispers, reaching up to hold Deacon’s hand, he’s crying too, she knows it, but neither of them will mention it. “I know my word’s worth jack. But I promise,  _ too _ , Glory.

Glory’s eyes roll up towards the ceiling. She smiles, but it falls away. Her eyelashes are wet, and beaded with the tears she desperately fought to not fall. 

  
  


“Isn’t there…  _ isn’t there supposed to be a light _ ?”


	32. Truce

“What do you think would’ve happened if she chose you?”

MacCready and Deacon  _ had  _ become closer, but the young mercenary wasn’t expecting such an odd, sentimental question from the spy. He looked up at the sky, the clouds were thin and wispy and the sun was bright, taking the typical Boston chill out of the air. Spring was here. And in full force too. 

It suddenly clicked why he was actually bothered about that, or even contemplating it at all. And it actually annoyed him because why had he become so adjusted to settler-farming life? In fact, did he even enjoy it a little?

But the other possibility was that he was just excited because it meant that soon Duncan would be feeling better. Well enough to travel again.

“Vanessa?” 

Mac knew exactly who Deacon was talking about. Vanessa was the only thing left that Deacon seemingly had any sentimentality for. He hadn’t talked about the Railroad since Glory. Or even been back there. He’d been doing his best to cheer Deacon up, and Victory too, but so far, nobody had been very successful. 

“I don’t know man, I don’t think about that anymore.” He caught Maple’s eye from across the compound. She was back to wearing her vault-suit unzipped, and she wasn’t wearing her jacket. The other ex-vault dweller in his life looked up from her chemistry set, grinned from ear to ear and waved, he waggled his fingers back. “Yeah, yeah, I know you got your eye on the  _ other _ older woman, but c’mon, ‘Cready. Play the game at least.” 

MacCready sighed and took a sip from his lukewarm beer. He looked at Maple again, if only because the beer reminded him he wanted to ask her to help him repair the refrigerator. He just couldn’t get the thought of cold beer out of his head. _ Or her apparently. _

“Alright, well, I think we’d see her walking around in a lot more blue.” 

“Because she would’ve never gotten the Rocket suit? Makes sense.” Mac shook his head, “no, because she would’ve stuck with the Minutemen.” Deacon laughed for the first time in days, to the point where the beer he’d sipped was sprayed out his mouth, “are you joking?” 

Grumpy as always, and even more so at the fact Deacon had laughed at him, MacCready grumbled as childishly as always, and sat up, ready to piss off to find something else to do. “Wait, wait, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please, heh, elaborate your point my young friend.” The only thing that truly kept MacCready from skulking off was the ego boost he got from being the first person to make Deacon smile again. He assumed it would’ve been Vanessa.

“Mm, well, I know you like fu-freaking stalked her or whatever, but I don’t know how closely. When she first hired me, back last October, with ol’ Nick, she was  _ dead  _ set on teaching me morals. Always made us stop to help people, and build up settlements, and rescue settlers. It seems like she’s a whole other person now, I know. But I think if I hadn’t left her that day in Goodneighbour, she never would’ve met you, or the Railroad, and we would’ve kept on working with Preston. If only so she could prove a point to me about being a better man or whatever.”

Deacon had never thought about it that way, and he was miffed at how Mac  _ still  _ had a deeper view of her than he did, even though he’d been tailing her for so long. “What about you? I bet you thought about it in way more detail than I did.” 

_ Thought? More like think. _

“I wouldn’t have let her go out to the raider park alone, in fact, she probably wouldn’t have gone at all. I’d have been honest with her sooner, maybe she wouldn’t have run off,” he laughs, it sounds strangled, “we would’ve taken on the Institute already, and then, after rescuing Shaun and all the synths, we’d settle down on a little farm somewhere. Have another kid, a girl, we’d name her something stupid and pretentious like… Wynter or Queenie or uh,  _ Gethsemane _ .” Deacon stares down at his feet. He’s daydreaming,  _ out loud,  _ and it’s stupid.

“Wow you really fu-freaking thought in detail about this one. I gotta say to you Deacon, it isn’t, um, super healthy to fixate on things like this,” Deacon rolled his eyes, “yeah, yeah, you’ve got someone else in mind now, I get it.” 

MacCready opens his mouth to retaliate, but is cut off by the sounds of squabbling over the other side of the compound, just coming through the gates. Deacon knows exactly who it is before that curvy blonde comes stomping towards the truck stop in those wedge-heeled black boots. He pulls his sunglasses down his nose to look over the top of them, and can’t help the grin that tugs at his cheeks, “uh oh, trouble in paradise.”

“I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again, Porter, you’re not coming with me,” “I’ve come this far, don’t fuckin’ get what the difference is.” She groans in frustration and spins around, kicking a tin can in his direction, “you are not a diplomat, Gage. And you’ll only encourage me to not be one either. I need to be in my right frame of mind, and your Greed will only make things worse.”

MacCready catches Deacon laughing out of the corner of his eye, “you don’t seem too surprised to see her back.” Deacon glances at him and laughs again, pushing his sunglasses back up his nose and leaning back into his chair, “nope, the thing about Charmer is that once she’s passionate about something, it’s coming to fruition.” The young merc narrows his eyes at Deacon, he thought she’d be heading straight back to the raider theme park. 

“Gage! Seriously! I’m not going to keep arguing with you, oh my  _ Christ _ !” Deacon laughs again, folding his arms over his chest, “trouble in paradise,” he repeats, as she nears them. “Oh, hello MacCready honey, I hope you’ve been well.” She kicks the door for the garage open and stalks off, Gage is standing outside, he punches the wooden picnic bench in a most immature fashion. 

“She’s mad at you. Deacon what the he-ck, did you do?” Deacon laughs and scratches his head, “I disagreed with her.” That didn’t make much sense to Mac, for one, Deacon and Vanessa never seemed to disagree on anything, and the second point was that Vanessa shouldn’t be surprised by someone disagreeing with her, seemingly someone disagrees with every decision she makes. “On what?” Deacon laughs again and looks over at MacCready, “she might be more annoyed that I agreed with Des, honestly. She  _ still _ thinks we don’t have to wipe the Brotherhood out, even though they came in guns blazing and took Glory out. Even though they made her kill Danse and even though she’s literally a  _ raider  _ and is declaring war on the  _ Minutemen. _ So she’s trying to take the diplomatic approach with them.”

MacCready furrowed his brow, “she’s trying to take the diplomatic approach with the Brotherhood?” “That’s what we argued about, and I’m guessing what they were arguing about,” “it was.” Both of the men looked up at the raider, who was standing in front of them with his arms crossed, “But not because she don’t wanna figh’ ‘em. Tha’s fair, what’s not fair, is her tryin’ t’go on her own into what’s gonna be a death trap. And it’s your fuckin’ fault she’s rushin’ into this withou’ thinkin’ because you told her she couldn’t.” 

“You’re blaming me?” “Hell fuckin’ yeah I am.” MacCready looked between them with his eyebrows raised, “alright, lets calm down, guys,” “come  _ on,  _ there’s no way you  _ seriously  _ don’t see how terrible of an idea this is,” “I don’t give a shit who she does and does not wipe out, we got our own shit t’get to and I wanna head back to Nuka World to take care of it as soon as fuckin’ possible.” Deacon laughed and looked away, “you mean you want to keep encouraging her to kill settlers and keep up with her psychotic takeover of the wasteland?” 

Mac jumped up at the sound of Gage reloading his rifle and put a hand on his shoulder, “alright, come on bud, let’s go for a walk or something.” Gage and Deacon stayed silent for a moment, before he looked down at the merc, “you’re lucky she likes y’both so much. And that I got some degree of respect for  _ you _ .” 

“No. Don’t take him. I need him.” 

Vanessa had reemerged from the garage fairly quickly, arms folded, her hair already falling out of the bun she’d put it up into in an attempt to look slightly more professional. “Should I wear my jumpsuit? Is that more formal?” All three of the men just blinked at the raider-woman as she stood in front of them, wearing only her leather trousers and a bra. “You’re so unhelpful.” She slammed the door and disappeared again. 

“She’s fu-freaking insane,” “yeah, and it’s his fault,” “shut the  _ fuck up, sunglasses _ .” They stood in almost complete silence for a few minutes, just trying to work out what on  _ Earth  _ was going on. 

When Vanessa returned she was back in her raider gear, but her armor pieces were cleaned up. “Right, like I said, don’t take him, I need him.” She was still ignoring Deacon, Gage frowned and Mac raised his eyebrow, “I’m not taking him anywhere?” Vanessa looked at them both like they were crazy, “what? No, not  _ Gage _ ,  _ you, _ idiot _. _ ” She tossed her head back and laughed, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, Deacon actually laughed with her, if anything just at the dumbfounded expression on the other raider’s face.

“You seriously want me to march in there without backup? No way. That’s a ballsy move, one I’m not brave enough to make,” “and going in with just me is going to be any better?” MacCready blinked at her, and when she opened her mouth, he just sighed, “let me get my coat and hat.” And off he went. Deacon scratched his temple, “so, what’s your plan? Run in blind to the airship? C’mon, even you can’t be that stubborn.” 

She huffed air out of her nose and folded her arms over her chest, “no, I radioed Annie and agreed to meet with her at Cambridge, I  _ believe  _ Maxson will also be in attendance in person. I also made contact with Mags and she’s sending over backup from Hangman’s alley. They’ll be around just outside of the compound at enough of a distance to not piss them off, but close enough to hopefully provide covering fire to aid in our escape.” She closed her eyes and smiled smugly, “besides, I’ve also got a bunch of stimpaks and some Stealth-Boys, so I'm good to get out of there in an emergency.” 

Gage was surprised, he’d always trusted her judgement, and knew she was good at planning, but this was  _ very  _ well thought out. Now don’t get your wires crossed, he has faith in his Overboss, but he had sort of expected her to run in there without a plan. Or at least one that wasn’t too well thought out. 

“Nessie, I really don’t much like the idea of you runnin’ in there without me,” “MacCready kept me alive before, he will continue to do so now. I  _ have  _ a  _ plan.  _ How are you two not impressed by that? It’s rare I actually plan things  _ this well.”  _ She huffs air out her nose, and folds her arms over her chest, mimicking Gage’s posture. 

She gives in first, resting one of her hands on his arm, “ _ Porter,  _ I’ll me fine, I promise.” She sticks out her pinky finger, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. He begrudgingly links his pinky with hers, rolling his eyes, “alrigh’, but if you get yourself killed, I’m shootin’ the shit out of you.” Vanessa laughs, squeezing his arm and letting go of his pinky, “you’ve got yourself a deal, honey.”

Deacon is now in full suspect of something deeper going on between them, she’s always affectionate, especially with those she is close with, but something feels different now. 

_ She definitely hadn’t chosen him.  _

_ And as much as he knew that couldn’t happen, it still hurt. _

MacCready returned, pushing his hair back with a hand before slapping his hat on his head. “You need a haircut,” Vanessa quipped with a raised brow, “I’ll do it for you when we come back,” “if we come back,” “ _ when,  _ RJ, dear. Are you ready to go?” He huffed, rolling his shoulder that was holding his rifle, “yeah, ready as I’m gonna be, I suppose.” 

Vanessa grins, and wraps an arm around his shoulders, “RJ and Nessie, back at it again! The merc with a mouth and the woman out of time,” “sole survivor sounds cooler.” He grumbles, turning away to hide the pink dusting his cheeks. “Alright, let’s just,  _ move.  _ Cambridge is a da...darn walk and a half.” The vault-dweller pressed an over-zealous kiss to his cheek, and he shoved her off, wiping his face with the back of his hand, “you suck,” “okay, honey bunny. Ta ta, everyone.” She waggled her fingers at them, scurrying after MacCready. 

“You sure you should be shooting yourself up with angry-juice before we get in there?” 

Vanessa froze dead in her tracks, she didn’t expect Mac to be done with his cigarette so quickly. “Yeah, don’t look at me like that, I know what you’ve been up to. I’m not going to tell you to stop, or tell Gage and Deacon, but I don’t think being high on chems that make you mad is the best idea.” 

Vanessa glances down at the syringe in her hand, then back at MacCready’s face. Her hands were trembling. Was she an addict? He was right, it wasn’t a good idea, but she  _ so  _ needed it. “I have calmex?” She says it like she’s asking for permission, how pitiful. 

MacCready sighs, he doesn’t feel good about how she’s fallen. When they met she was just as stubborn and spunky, but just had her morals in a completely different place. He admired the determination she still had to liberate all synths, and to take down the boogeyman of the Commonwealth. 

But she’d still become a raider. Mac had never liked raiders, and it was what completely put him off the Gunners; being no better than raiders. 

“It’ll calm you down, and won’t make you feral so…” He shrugged his shoulders, shaking his packet of cigarettes, he had half a box left, enough for them to get back to Red Rocket, providing this didn’t stress him out to high-heavens. 

“Why did you bring  _ me? _ ” He asked, trying not to watch as she injected herself with the pre-war tranquiliser. The shaking in her hands stopped almost immediately, and he was kind of mad at Maple for getting her into chems. “I mean, I’m a sniper, I’m not gonna be much use if we run into trouble inside.” 

She looked up at him, pulling a stealth-boy from her pack, “if we get in a conflict, you activate this and you run for the hills,” he takes it from her and clips it onto his belt, furrowing his brow, “for one, you’re neutral, Deacon has a personal interest and he’ll probably be more inclined to attack. Secondly, you listen to me, Gage  _ thinks  _ he listens but as much as he denies it, he’ll encourage me to fight, or say something to piss them off, he’s too,” she waves her hands around, “ _ chaotic _ .” 

He scratches his temple and watches as she brushes dust off her pants and sleeves, “also, I trust you, you’re my friend and you’ve been with me the longest. Are you ready?” Mac sighs, nods, and then follows close to her as he can, without appearing to be a threat. She freezes suddenly just before they enter the compound, spins on her feet and wraps her arms tightly around the mercenary. He tenses up a little and then hugs her back, resting his chin on her head, “love you, RJ,” “love you too Ness.” He kisses her forehead, she responds with the most delicate caress of his cheek, “if something goes wrong in there, you run and don’t look back, okay?” 

“Of course, boss.” 

“Sentinel French! Raiders! Permission to open fire?” 

Vanessa holds up her hands above her head, smiling brightly, “Sentinel? Oh, Annie, I’m so proud of you!” 

“Hold your fire! That’s Paladin Everly,” “ _ ex- _ paladin,” “shut up Rhys, just get the Sentinel.” 

Haylen came almost skipping down the stairs, of course she’d heard what had become of her old friend, but she presumed she knew her well enough that she wouldn’t attack her without reason. “Everly, it’s good to see you, honestly. Are you here to talk truce?” 

Vanessa nods, her arms dropping to her sides, “yeah huh, we’re not looking for trouble, which is why I only brought MacCready with me. I just want to limit the amount of bloodshed in the upcoming war.” 

The scribe nods and smiles, rubbing the back of her head, “I… I’m sorry it came to this, Everly. When Annie and I found out they were launching an attack on your base,” she lowered her voice significantly, looking around for a moment, “I did whatever I could to hold it off, we’re at war with the Institute, not the Railroad. Elder Maxson is...  _ stubborn _ , but, I think he’ll see that.” 

Vanessa sucks in a breath, wringing her hands for a moment, “Haylen, if things go wrong, and we have to go to war,” she rubs her head, “I know you’re loyal to the Brotherhood, and I admire you for that, but please…  _ rethink it. _ I couldn’t save Danse so…” She bit down on her bottom lip, lowering her gaze to the ground, “not killing you is the least I can do for him.” 

Haylen opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off by the sound of someone clearing their throat behind her. “Scribe Haylen, Ms. Everly.” The scribe spun round and saluted, “Ad Victoriam, Sentinel,” “at ease, Scribe. Ms. Everly, if you could come with me, Elder Maxson is ready to meet with you.” Vanessa faltered, “Annie I-,” “Vanny  _ please,  _ don’t. Just stay professional.” 

They followed the sentinel silently, unsure of how this was all gonna go, and just praying it wasn’t badly. 

  
  


“Elder Maxson,” “Everly,” “aw, no Paladin anymore?” The corner of Vanessa’s mouth twitched, and she held out a hand to the Elder, he shook it once before taking a seat opposite her at the table. She sat down too, Mac sitting besides her, Antoinette sitting besides Maxson. The Sentinel pressed a few buttons on a holotape recorder and then nodded to her Elder. 

“This is Elder Maxson of the East Coast chapter of the Brotherhood of Steel. I’m meeting with…” He waved a hand at Vanessa, who cleared her throat and smiled, “Vanessa Everly, spokesperson for the Railroad.” Maxson nodded, and gestured for her to continue, she cleared her throat once more and nodded. 

“Well, Elder Maxson, at the crux of it all, our goals are the same. Deep down, the Brotherhood doesn’t have an issue with synths, they have an issue with the production of synths and the Institute itself.” 

“Synths are an  _ abomination _ , Everly.  _ You  _ of all people should know this.” 

Vanessa flinched, gripping the table with white knuckles and gritted teeth. She closed her eyes, and let out a slow breath through her nose, “yes, Elder Maxson, although I disagree with your choice of words, and sentiment, I understand somewhat the point you are attempting to make. But, you must see that you do  _ not  _ need to wipe out the synths,  _ or  _ the Railroad. If you take down the Institute, you completely stop the production of synths, and we stop the slavery of synths.” 

“Next thing you’ll be telling us that using a Mr Gutsy aboard the Prydwen is slavery.” He barked out a laugh and Annie visibly winced, she’d told Vanessa to be professional and now her C.O. was laughing in her face. “Arthur,” she murmured, quiet enough that she wouldn’t be picked up on the recorder, “ _ please. _ ” 

Vanessa watched with a stern look on her face, as the Elder studied his Sentinel. He regarded her with respect, it was intriguing to the raider woman. She wanted to know more, but there was no way she’d be finding out what she wanted.  _ Disappointingly. _

Elder Maxson nodded, and turned back to Vanessa, drumming his fingers against the table for a moment. “Everly, I understand you feel it beneficial for our organisations to work together in our coming war with the Institute. However, I fail to see why the Brotherhood would need you to win it. You are small in numbers, have no impressive weaponry or technology, why would we need you?”

She had him. Her mouth pulled up into a smirk, “well, for one, I know that you can’t fix your special weapon. That you’ve run into a brick wall and you’re now relying solely on soldiers, the  _ very  _ spare weapons you actually have and vertibirds. Vertibirds obviously won’t help since the Institute is underground, your best weapons are Fat-Man launchers, and mini-guns, that also won’t help. Like I said, underground, close-quarters. The amount of soldiers you have, that’s helpful, of course, if anything just to y’know,  _ die _ .” 

_ She had him. _

Maxson tripped over his words, his thick eyebrows pulled down on his face in disgust and embarrassment. He rubs his mouth and beard with one of his hands, and Annie rests her fingertips on his forearm. 

“Sentinel French of the East Coast chapter of the Brotherhood of Steel. Ms. Everly we are unaware of where you discovered the information about our weapon, or our plans, and we are willing to overlook this. However, we’re failing to see how  _ you  _ can help any of this.”

The raider woman wasn’t expecting her  _ sister  _ to get involved, and she especially wasn’t expecting the ditzy pre-war woman to be so calm and collected, so ready to bite back, so prepared for the impressive charisma that she herself had. 

“Alright, well Sentinel, to begin with we have insider knowledge of the Institute, besides just what I have seen. We have a contact inside who knows of flaws in the system, changeovers of guard duty, holes in their defences. Whilst you may not outright  _ need  _ this information, it will prove  _ invaluable _ . Otherwise like I said before, you’ll be sending your soldiers in to die. Without us, your casualties will be immeasurable.” 

Elder Maxson looked down at his hands, then back up at the raider woman, who was grinning like a maniac, leaning back in her chair with a toothpick hanging between her teeth. “Ms. Everly, I understand what you’re saying, but we are prepared for a war, we are prepared for casualties.”

“We could  _ easily  _ take down the Institute without you, and before you even got the chance at that. We’ve got reinforcements. The only reason I’m looking for a complete ceasefire is that your pointless attacks on us are distracting us from our mission. Between what we are trying to do and running Nuka World I simply don’t have time for pointless fights with your soldiers.”

Maxson scratched his beard and opened his mouth to say something, but Vanessa cut him off with her last ditch attempt, “the Brotherhood are free to take whatever technology they want from the Institute. We have no interest in any of it, all we want is to free the synths and blow that place to the high-heavens. You’re free to take what you want before we destroy it.”

This gave him pause. Nobody was entirely sure  _ what  _ was inside the Institute. They had no idea what kind of tech or weapons they were sitting on down there. It could be invaluable, especially as under the previous Elder, Lyons, they’d been more focused on helping the wasteland, than claiming technology.

“What are the terms of your deal?” 

The silence was  _ heavy.  _ Annie was stunned. Even  _ Mac  _ was stunned that Vanessa had convinced the young Elder, and he’d seen her be pretty damn convincing in the almost a year that he’d known her. The austere expression on her face wilted away into one of pure, unadulterated delight. 

She’d won. 

“You immediately stop all of your violence and attacks at all synths and members of the Railroad. In return we don’t attack the Brotherhood either, and you are welcome to join us in the attack on the Institute. We intend to blow it up, you are free to collect what you need or want from the Institute before we do so.” 

“I, Elder Maxson of the East Coast chapter of the Brotherhood of Steel agree to these terms.” He stood up and stuck out his hand, Vanessa’s eyebrows flicked upwards and she stood up too, “you’ve got a deal, Elder Maxson,” she shook his hand firmly, a smile pulling at one corner of her mouth. 

Annie switched off the holotape recorder, and when she did, Vanessa smiled and looked at Mac over her shoulder. “It’s been a pleasure doing business with you both. RJ, let’s get moving Oh, Annie,” she studied Maxson out of the corner of her eye without turning her head, “stay safe, honey.” 

Annie walked with them to show them out, but the minute they left the old police station, they were met with commotion. Scribe Haylen, Knight Rhys and a couple others that Vanessa didn’t recognise had their rifles readied, pointed at three operators who had entered the compound.

“Whoa, whoa, what’s all this then? Guys, stand down, there’s no threat here, I’m perfectly fine.” The Operators didn’t lower their weapons, if only because the Brotherhood soldiers kept up theirs. Annie stepped out with a hand raised, “Rhys, you and the troops need to stand down. No need for a conflict here.”

Rhys and the others slowly lowered their rifles. The Operators did the same, one approaching Vanessa, “Overboss, you need to head back to Nuka World immediately, it’s the Pack.” 

“What?” 

“They’ve gone feral, Mason is trying to take over, we’re going to war.”


	33. Power Play

The sun is beginning to set over Nuka-World as the tram rolls into the station. Gage and Vanessa leave the tram station, and she gazes up. The sky is streaked with pink and gold and soft white clouds, “hiraeth,” she sighs, invoking Gage to look down at her, resting an arm around her shoulders, looking up, “hmm?” She leans into his side, and he follows her gaze to the sky, things that always seemed so trivial, or things he always ignored before Nessie, had a way of being so beautiful when he saw them through her eyes. 

“Hiraeth,” she repeats, “longing for a home to which you cannot return or never was. The sky hasn’t changed in two hundred years, it always makes me homesick.” 

**_She_ ** _ is beautiful in his eyes. _

“You miss your home?” He shuffles a little, looking at her out of the corner of his good eye. He can’t help but worry about things like this, he always thinks about how, in his opinion, he can’t even begin to compare to the life she had before. The familiar insecurity began to crawl beneath his skin. 

“My home? My home is still standing, more or less.” Gage didn’t know this, he looked at her with eyebrows raised, “really?” “Well, it depends which home you mean, apparently our family manor is still standing, just outside Boston, but I’ve never been to visit it. But if you mean the home I had with Nathaniel, it’s just up the road from the Red Rocket, and it’s got some broken windows but that’s all.” 

Gage wants to ask something else, and it’s as if she reads his mind, standing in front of him and taking both of his hands in hers. “I don’t miss him,” she says firmly, “I weren’t thinkin’ tha’.” They both knew he was. “I’m not saying you were, I  _ am  _ saying I don’t miss him. And even if I was offered to live my old life in my own time, I wouldn’t, not if I had to have him instead of you.” 

He tilts his head to the side and cups her cheek with a hand, sweeping his thumb over her lip, just enough to smudge her lipstick slightly over the scar on her top lip. “Let’s go put down them fuckin’ dogs.” It’s not sentimental, but Gage is always better with actions than words. 

  
  


_ It’s quiet outside Nuka-Town. Too quiet _ .

Vanessa thanks MacCready for putting that phrase into her head as they walk through the streets, Operators and Disciples alike are tending to each other's wounds. It has a lovely war-time feel to it which does nothing to soothe the homesickness Vanessa is feeling for the world of 200 years ago. One of the Disciples notices their arrival and runs over, Vanessa would know that psychotic giggling anywhere. 

“Dixie.”

“Well  _ howdy,  _ Overboss. Are y’all here to help exterminate our lil’ pest problem,” Vanessa rolls her eyes and folds her arms over her chest, she likes Nisha, and has had decent conversations with Savoy on occasion, but she for whatever reason, cannot  _ stand  _ Dixie. Maybe it was the fact she tried to stab her the first time they met, or the fact she actually cut her the second time they met. But however you looked at it, to put it quite simply, the blondes hated each other. 

“Obviously we are, Dixie. Where are Nisha, Mags and William?” 

Gage smirks at the response from his Overboss, he always found it amusing when she broke that polite, loveable, housewife routine. The Disciples raider pulled off her mask and pouted, “no fair OB, you gotta let me play,” “I don’t  _ gotta  _ do anything. Go make sure there are no Pack anywhere else in Nuka-Town or around it.” Dixie huffs and folds her arms over her chest, pulling her mask back on, “fine, Nisha and those fancy tie-wearin’ assholes are cooped up in an old buildin’ outside the power plant, Mason has taken the damn place over and tried to fortify it.”

“Time to put bullets in faces.” 

Gage reloaded his rifle as punctuation, and was rewarded with a smirk from his overboss, who pulled out her sword in response.

“Looks like Mason’s dug in pretty well up there,” William cut his sister off with a grunt, “I knew that nutjob would turn on us sooner or later. So, are we storming the place or what?” Nisha sighed, being the first to notice the Overboss and Gage’s arrival. She turned to the other two with a concealed roll of her eyes, “Both of you shut up. We’re about to find out… the boss is here. Mason’s gathered up his animal goons and took the Power Plant. If that asshole thinks he’ll get away with this, he’s dead wrong. I’ll skin him alive and savor every minute of it.” 

Vanessa tutted and rolled her eyes, “For Christ’s sake... Sometimes I swear, this is like taking care of a bunch of children.” Mags huffed at that, she liked the Overboss but the Operators had a notoriously fragile ego, “careful now. Remember who’s been on your side ever since you started planting our flags. Unfortunately, not everyone is so loyal.”

Nisha stepped forward, “while you were gone, word came back from the Commonwealth that you’re favoring the Disciples and Operators. Well, surprise, surprise… Mason wasn’t exactly thrilled to hear the news.”

“He and his gang forced their way into the Power Plant. Now they’ve got the entire place locked down,” Mags tightened her ponytail, tucking a few strands of hair behind her ears, “we can’t let him get away with this, boss. And we  _ all  _ want a crack at those loonies,” “damn right we do!”

“Look, it’s your play. We’ll follow you anywhere, but you have to swear to us that Mason pays for this with his life.” 

“Gage, you’ve been quiet, what do you think?” The Overboss seeks the council of her closest friend, and most trusted ally. The raider is a little more than surprised, but grunts out a cold, dead laugh, “you  _ know  _ how I feel about fuckin’ animals. I’m surprised you’ve let him live as long as you have.” 

A little more aggressive than she expected, but it was more or less the answer she presumed he would give. She turned back to Nisha, a smile forming rapidly, “he’s as good as dead.” Nisha smiled back, “music to my ears.”

“Time to clean house.”

“We got your back, boss.”

The three raider bosses pulled out their rifles and began the ascent to the plant, Vanessa watched them looking down at the light glinting on the blade of her sword. Gage grabbed her wrist as she turned to leave, looking back at him, “Nessie, stay safe, okay? We migh’ get separated. Jus’ don’t do anythin’ stupid.” Vanessa pulled him closer by the bars of his armor, and pecked his lips tenderly, “I should be asking you the same thing.” 

He smirked and kissed her once more with a little more fervor, “if you’re gonna do it, do it properly.” She giggled and elbowed him in the side, “alright let's go.” 

Weapons at the ready, they caught up with the other raider bosses, Vanessa was  _ fascinated  _ with the Plasma gun that Nisha was using, she’d never seen anything like it. She looks at Gage curiously and he shrugs, he’s always had a preference for guns that actually shoot bullets, that fancy tech stuff doesn’t interest him. 

Dead ghouls litter the ground, as well as a few raiders; Pack, Operators and Disciples alike. “Seems those dogs have been busy!” Mags yells, her rifle letting off a burst of fire ahead of them. Vanessa swings her sword into a Pack scavver that gets too close, a bullet from her pistol dealing the killing blow. 

_ That’s right. It’s not Nate’s anymore.  _

_ It’s hers.  _

The three raider bosses disappear inside the Power Plant, closely followed by Gage, who nods at Vanessa before he heads inside. She gazes up at the building, it’s foreboding, and makes her feel a little nauseous. The adrenaline rush alone is enough to make her headspin, and stop her from pumping herself full of Overdrive. 

She takes a few steps inside, and a Pack raider is on her immediately, a hand over her mouth, gun to her temple. “Nessie!” Gage spins round at the sound of her shriek, but he can’t get a clear shot, she’s in the way. “Gage I can’t get a shot on the dog without shooting the boss,” “I fuckin’  _ know,  _ Mags.”

Vanessa bites down,  _ hard.  _ There’s a disgusting crunch and she tastes the blood pooling in her mouth. The Pack raider recoils with a roar of pain, and she spits his finger onto the ground. Mags fires one clean shot and the raider hits the ground by Vanessa’s feet, “are you alright, Boss?” 

The Overboss pulled her flask from her belt. She had honestly forgotten it was full of vodka. She swilled the 200 year old alcohol around her mouth before spitting it onto the ground, “yes, yes I’m fine. I’m just not much of a fan of a mouthful of dog’s blood.” 

Mags nodded, and ran to catch up with her brother and Nisha at the sound of gunfire. Gage grabbed his Overboss’ chin gently, studying her face, “you sure you’re alrigh’?” He tilts her head to each side and she smiles, a pink blush dusting across her nose and cheekbones, “I’m  _ fine,  _ Porter. Well, as fine as I can be until I have Mason’s head.” Gage smirked and tugged down her bottom lip with his thumb, “go get it, then.” 

She pulls him through the tight corridors of the Power Plant, holding his hand tightly, her sword readied in her other hand. “Overboss! Come on! We’re almost to the roof!” Nisha waves a hand at her as she jams her knife through one of the Pack raiders eye. Vanessa let go of Gage’s hand as they caught up to the others, he quickly found himself distracted with a pack of ferals that threw themselves out of one of the side rooms at him.

“Mason and his fuckin’ Pack could’ve at least gotten rid of the fuckin’ ferals.” The dim room was lit up by the fire from his rifle, and the weird green glow of plasma from Nisha. One of the ferals clawed at his face and it was Nisha that took it down. It disintegrated into a pile of glowing green goo on the ground. He looked at her over his shoulder as he caught his breath, “this doesn’t mean I like you, Gage,” “yeah, yeah, thanks Nisha.” She nodded and spun round, slamming her blade into another Pack who had charged at her. 

Mags and William were standing back to back on a bridge, it was so unreal to Gage, he’d never expected these raider gangs to work together, and he’d never expected all those months ago that the 5’7, pre-war, blonde, full of herself, pin-up, would be the person to not only get all the parks under control, but have the undeniable loyalty of the Operators and the Disciples. In all honesty it amazed him that these raiders, who were known for being selfish, were here fighting to defend their Overboss’ life, and his, and  _ each other's. _

Speaking of the Overboss, “Nessie? Where have you gotten off to?” He yelled, narrowly dodging the fire from a Pack rifle. He pressed his back against the wall and leant round it, his bullets shredding the chest of a raider wearing nothing but a tank top and some shorts, using only a stuffed sloth for armor on their chest. “She headed up to the roof,” William yelled, reloading his sniper rifle, “she ran ahead when we got up here, reckon she wants first dibbs on ripping Mason apart,” “she should learn to share,” Mags interjected, covering for her brother whilst he reloaded. 

Gage wasn’t sure what to do about that. He knew Vanessa could defend herself. He knew she was tougher than she looked, and that she’d been through a hell of a lot. But something was tugging at his stomach, it was an uneasy feeling that snaked up his spine and made his entire body feel cold. And it only got worse when a Pack scavver slammed his combat knife into Gage’s shoulder, cackling maniacally, “oh no, Boss is gonna rip  _ her  _ apart. In  _ exactly  _ the way she’s gonna hate most.” 

It was true panic that set in. He yanked the knife from his shoulder and threw it onto the floor, slamming the butt of his rifle into the scavver’s head. The raider fell back against the wall, fumbling on the ground for his knife. He made contact with it, and swung to cut Gage again, but fell limp as Gage bludgeoned his head with the rifle again. “I’m goin’ t’find the boss,” Gage yelled, dropping an empty clip on the ground, “make sure you clear the rest of the Pack out, in here an’ on the roof.” Mags nodded, “you’d better make sure she’s safe, alright?” “If something happens to her it’ll be your head, Gage,” Nisha added, cleaning her blade on her thigh. 

Vanessa howled and screamed, writhing under the Pack alpha. One of her hands was pressed against the table above her head, a knife stabbed straight through it, pinning it to the table. Whenever she moved it did nothing but make the wound worse, the pain was excruciating. High on psycho and fuelled by pain and adrenaline, the Overboss wasn’t controlling herself very well. 

“I’m gonna be honest with you Boss because no one else will,” using her feet to keep him off her as best as she can, Vanessa whined, her back arched away from the table. Mason grabbed the bottom half of her face, forcing her to look at him, “anyone who says they’re interested in you beyond just fuckin’ you,” she spat in his face. He didn’t even flinch, grinning at her, “is full of shit. You are fuckin’ intolerable.” 

She pressed the heels of her shoes into his bare hips as hard as she could, knowing they would be breaking the skin. She’d given him a good run for his money, her knife was lodged in his shoulder and the amount of blood coming from the open wound was intense. One of his eyes was shut, blood running down his face, he’d be blind,  _ if he survived _ , she’d cut him pretty good. 

Vanessa relaxed considerably at the sound of footsteps outside, her head lolling to the side in the direction of the doorway. She smiled, spitting blood from her mouth onto the table she was pressed against, “hello, babe.” Mason jerked his head in the direction she was looking.

_ Gage _ . 

Mason opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by a gun shot, Gage had grabbed Vanessa’s pistol from the floor and shot the alpha in the throat. He then tossed it to her, and she unloaded an entire clip into Mason’s head. 

“Hey, love.” He grunted, taking a stimpak from his belt and moving to her side, “you hurtin’ bad?” 

She took an over-dramatic look at the knife sticking out of her hand, “no, I’m doing  _ perfectly fine. _ ” Gage rolled his eyes and pushed the stimpak needle into her palm, letting it kick in a little before he took the knife out, pulling up her leather pants with one hand. He pulled her into a sitting position and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, “I told you t’be careful,” “I was.” He huffed against her ear, pressing his lips to her temple, “you never are,” “that’s why you love me.” 

Gage rolled his eyes with a grin as she hopped off the table, wincing as she wobbled in her heels. She pulled the key from Mason’s pockets and the Yao Guai finger necklace from his neck. The string the bones were on snapped as she yanked it, and it made a delightful jingling noise. She held it out with a smile, “here, a gift, in return for the one you gave me!” She tugs on the pearls around her neck and giggles at the stony cold expression on Gage’s face, “I ain’t wearin’ that shit.” A shaky, overly-breathy chuckle escapes Vanessa as she stuffs it into her pack. 

The older raider realises his heart hasn’t stopped  _ pounding  _ since he found her. He couldn’t convince himself it was adrenaline anymore. When he saw her there, sprawled out on the table, knife through her palm, blood running from her nose and mouth, he truly thought she was dead. He truly thought he’d lost her. And he realised, he couldn’t deal with that, much to his surprise. He realised he needed her, that he cared about her, that in that moment, he genuinely thought he couldn’t live without her.

When Vanessa turned towards him, Gage had taken his cage armor off and wrapped his arms around her tighter than he ever had before, burying his face in her hair. To begin with, Vanessa tensed up, but with a shuddering breath, she grabbed the back of his tank, holding him as close as she could. He kissed the top of her head, as she trembled in his arms, “I thought I was going to die,”  _ he thought the same thing,  _ “I would never let that happen, Nessie.” 

The thing was, he  _ really _ couldn’t let that happen. Gage wouldn’t know what to do with himself. 

Swallowing the rising lump in her throat, Vanessa pulled away, kissing the tip of his nose, “whilst we’re here, why don’t we power the park back up?” Gage raised a brow, and grinned, “you bein’ serious?” “Hell yes.” He allowed her to pull him over to the controls, “check the terminal,” he murmured, when she noticed the main button not lit up. A few clicks, and the red button in the middle of the console was glowing brighter than a feral pumped full of radiation.

“Are you ready, cowboy?”

Her fingers entwine with his, and together they press the button, Nuka World lights up like a damn Christmas tree. Red fireworks exploding above each of the parks. “God damn beautiful,” Gage said gently, watching the flashes of red reflect in his Overboss’ big grey eyes, the explosions lighting up her soft face. “All it takes are a few rides and some lights to make you this sentimental?” Vanessa retorts, not turning to look at him, still transfixed by the theme park she’d loved for well over 200 years. 

“I mean, that’s part of it, but it’s bigger than tha’. I took a big chance helpin’ you take down Colter, glad that paid off,” he ignored her giggling, and the way she elbowed him in the side, his own gaze moving back to watch the fireworks, “you know the real difference between him and you? The reason the rest of us are behind you? You were willin’ to bleed for us… You put your neck on the line to get us ahead in this shitty world. And believe it or not, that means somethin’ t’us, somethin’ to me.” 

_ Maybe some fireworks were all it took to make the old raider sentimental.  _

_ He didn’t know if it was something in the air, if he’d been shot with a drugged dart or some kind, but although the words that followed were completely his own, he wasn’t expecting himself to say them. _

“Vanessa, let’s get hitched.” 

“What?” She breathed, looking at him with wide, watery, eyes, “Gage what the fuck are you talking about?” “I’m serious, who knows how much time we got left, and I know pre-war traditions mean shit to you and,  _ I don’t know _ , I can’t be without you and shit.” 

She thinks he’s joking until he pulls a ring from one of the bags on his belt. It’s not like he’s been planning this, he found the ring back in the commonwealth a month or so ago, and had wanted to give it to her then, but just… hadn’t.

Gage doesn’t realise quite how romantic of a moment it is, fireworks going off in the background, a full moon, sky illuminated with stars. He’s not down on one knee, and the ring isn’t a flashy number, it’s completely different to the ring Nathaniel gave her, and that’s why it’s perfect. It’s thin, and dainty, and delicate, gold with a horizontal, oval cut diamond, surrounded by a cluster of smaller gems. It’s beautiful. 

It’s perfect. 

Tears brim in her eyes and she begins to sob silently. For once, our Overboss is lost for words, she can do nothing but laugh and nod, choking out the simple answer of, “yes, of course I’ll marry you, idiot.” 

The ring fits. Of course it does. Everything about this moment is  _ perfect.  _ Like it was always meant to be. Gage has never believed in higher forces, not God, or soulmates or anything dumb like that. But this gave him pause, this felt like fate to him.

I mean, the pre-war model from a poster that he’d always had an,  _ ahem _ ,  _ liking for,  _ shows up, 200 years after a nuclear war, kills his old boss, saves his life, takes over a damn  _ kingdom  _ for him, loves him, and when he proposes with a random ring he found it happens to  _ fit.  _

_ This felt like fate to him. _

They embrace in the pale moonlight, fireworks still going off behind them, “I love you, Porter” she whispers against his neck, shaking fingers clinging to his shirt, “I love you too, Nessie.”


	34. Battle for Bunker Hill

“Desdemona!” 

Vanessa ran down the stairs, holding a hand to her chest, panting heavily. She’d warped from the Institute to Goodneighbour and had run straight to the Railroad headquarters, she hadn’t even stopped to catch her breath. Her heart was pounding in her ears and Deacon was by her side in an instant, an arm wrapped around her waist. He’d heard she’d returned to the wasteland shortly after dealing with the issues back at Nuka World, but was unaware she was still continuing with the plan of infiltrating the Institute. 

_ “Mother, might I say it’s been a delight to have you back with us,” Vanessa simply nodded to the man she could no longer call her son, acutely aware of the daggers X6-88 was glaring into the back of her skull, “but tell me, what would you do when someone has stolen from you?” _

_ Vanessa flinches,  _ stupid question,  _ she thinks,  _ I killed many and ran halfway across the wasteland when you were stolen from me. _ But she doesn’t say that, she simply closes her eyes and leans back into her chair, furrowing her brow in mock thought. “That’s a loaded question, Shaun. What’s been stolen from you?”  _

_ “Institute property is not often taken from us. We cannot react lightly when it happens.”  _

Synths.

_ He doesn’t even need to say it, she knows it’s synths. And as such, she knows where this is going.  _

_ “The group that calls themselves “The Railroad” has acquired several synths from the Institute, synths that had gone missing in recent months. They no doubt mean to  _ free  _ these synths, in their delusion that synths are somehow sentient beings.” The way he says it, full of bitter venom, makes her feel nauseated. She  _ knows  _ synths are sentient beings. She knew Danse and Glory, she knows Curie and Victory.  _

_ “You’ve been in contact with the Railroad, so you’re aware of their misguided beliefs.” _

_ Vanessa is just praying her son doesn’t send her on another mission to “reclaim” synths. It always makes her feel disgusting, and she always spends far too long under the burning hot shower in her Institute quarters after she has to use a recall code. She knows better than to comment on her opinion with the Railroad, a positive response could blow her cover, if she lies and says she doesn’t know them, he could see straight through that, and it would have the same reaction.  _

_ “What happened? What have they done?” Father sighs, circling the drink in the bottom of his glass, “they are in possession of technology that does not belong to them.” Sometimes Vanessa swears she can hear the British twang in his voice, but it’s probably just his overly formal way of speaking. “Usually they are a minor nuisance, but lately they have become more emboldened. I’m afraid we’ve reached a point where a response is necessary. We have learned the current location of these synths, and need to re-acquire them before the Railroad can hide them.”  _

_ The pre-war woman opens her eyes, gazing out over the balcony, she wonders if the trees here are real, or synthetic.  _

_ She wonders does it matter. _

_ “Where are the synths located?”  _

_ “A small settlement at the old Bunker Hill monument. But it’s important that we act on this soon, before the Railroad has any indication we’ve tracked them.”  _

_ She knows Bunker Hill, it’s not so small. It’s a popular hub the Railroad uses for moving packages, which meant the casualties in this fight would be larger than normal. _

_ “We also don’t want the Brotherhood of Steel getting wind of the presence of the synths. That would only complicate matters.” _

_ Vanessa could easily get the synths out, make up some kind of lie that they’d bolted when she’d been under fire from the Bunker Hill residents, even maybe slip a notice to Annie in the hopes the Brotherhood would turn up. That would make it even easier, Vanessa could move the packages herself amongst all the chaos. “Is it just me, or will I have backup?” _

_ “A Courser will be waiting for you outside Bunker Hill. You’ll have support should you need it, but we want to keep this small.”  _

_ That… complicated things. Significantly. Vanessa just hoped it wasn’t X6. There was no way she could take him down, in fact, she didn’t know anybody that could take him down. “Good luck, Mother, I’ll see you soon.”  _

“Dear God.” Desdemona murmured, lighting up a cigarette immediately, offering one to the agent who hadn’t stopped shaking since her return. Charmer gratefully took it, and Deacon lit it whilst it was still dangling between her lips, trying to find something to say himself. “Damn,” was as much as he managed, his own blood rushing in his ears. She leant into his side, her shaking hand covering her eyes, cigarette hanging between her ring and middle fingers. That gold band glinted in the dim light, and it  _ didn’t  _ go unnoticed. 

“We just keep getting knocked down, huh? First Glory, and now Bunker Hill…” Des blew smoke out her nose, squeezing her eyes shut. “I mean, I don’t  _ have  _ to get them the synths,” Vanessa choked out, flicking her cigarette ash onto the floor, “I could always just, not,” “you can’t jeopardize your position with them, Charmer. We can’t risk everything we’ve worked for.” 

“The Institute doesn't need to know.” 

Des and Deacon exchanged a glance, seemingly communicating via some telepathic link. 

“If the Railroad  _ happens _ to have Heavies stationed at Bunker Hill, and the Courser  _ happens _ to get caught in the misfire... I don’t mind taking a bullet to sell a lie. It’s just method acting, after all.” Deacon frowned, “I mean, you piss me off terribly, Charms, and normally I’d jump at the chance to shoot you, but it doesn’t feel,  _ I don’t know _ , like the  _ best  _ idea ever.” Vanessa tutted and rolled her eyes, tucking one of her curls behind her ears. 

For a moment Deacon wasn’t sure why he noticed that, and then he remembered the glinting piece of metal around her ring finger. He was  _ certain  _ it wasn’t as flashy as the rock Nate had given her, and he thought she didn’t like to wear that, but clearly there was a ring on her finger right now. 

“She isn’t wrong, Deacon. It would keep the peace with the Institute, and if she were to return wounded it would indeed help her story,” Deacon cut her off coldly, “Des you aren’t seriously considering this?” Vanessa scoffed, stubbing out her cigarette on her leg, dumping it into an empty Nuka-Cola bottle on the table. “Deacon, I can handle a bullet wound, and I can handle a fight with a Courser, they’re not even sending X6. It just means I need to act quickly, precisely, and not make any mistakes.”

_ Or let myself get physically overpowered,  _ she thinks,  _ not like last time.  _

The bruises are still sore on her thighs, and she glances down at her bandaged right hand, the knife wound had gotten infected, Vanessa couldn’t claim she was surprised, Mason hadn’t struck her as one to clean his knives. Thanks to the infection though, holding her sword was a pain, so her palm was now neatly wrapped in bandages by Gage. She lazily traced circles on said palm, realising, much to her surprise, she couldn’t feel it. 

That scar was gonna suck. 

“Well, here’s a compromise,” Des began, taking the bottle from the table, spinning the ashy liquid inside, it was gross, “Charmer will still go ahead with her plan, and will take out the Courser as planned,  _ but,  _ we won’t send you in there alone. Deacon is worried about you,” he coughed loudly, “not worried about her! Just think it’ll be more hassle to replace her.” Des rolled her eyes, “shut up, Deacon. Like I was saying before I was  _ interrupted _ , we will send you in with backup. Deacon can go in there if he wishes, but I will send in a few of our other Heavies from HQ, we have a couple of allies up at Bunker Hill who would be willing to assist.” 

Deacon couldn’t  _ believe  _ what was happening. Was she  _ seriously  _ going to let Vanessa go ahead with this stupid plan? Typically, Charmer’s plans were never well thought out, in his opinion anyway. But she  _ had  _ managed to get a truce with the Brotherhood he supposed. 

“Alright. That works for me,” Vanessa smiled, fluffing her hair up, “I can take a bullet to my leg worst case scenario,” “I’m coming with you.” Vanessa laughed, “no way, I’m not putting you in harm's way, Dee,” he laughed back, rolling his eyes, “I’m not letting you go in there on your own,” “I can pick up Gage from Goodneighbour on the way,” “the raider…” Deacon sighed, that wasn’t much consolation, if Deacon could keep her away from him he would do anything he could. But she was too stubborn. 

“He’s been staying there since I’ve been in the Institute,” she mumbled, frowning, “I can’t just leave him there, God knows what’s going to happen once I’m in there…” She trails off towards the end, twisting the ring on her finger. Desdemona huffed, folding her arms over her chest, “the pair of you stop it. You have your orders, I don’t care what allies Charmer seeks if they are to aid in our goal.” 

The spy wants to make her happy. 

He knows it’s somewhat immature of him but there is nothing he desires more than to see her  _ genuinely  _ happy. 

“I’ll get Gage from Goodneighbour and meet you at Bunker Hill.” 

She cocks a brow, before wrapping her arms around his shoulders, “thank you. What would I do without you, Dee?” 

_ Oh it hurts, it hurts so good. _

“Fine, just get to it you two, there’s no time to waste.”

  
  


“You there! Caravan or Raider?” 

Vanessa cocked a brow at the dirty woman standing inside the settlement, she was surprised they’d never met, but whenever she went to Bunker Hill it was normally under the cover of darkness.

“Raider!” She yelled back. What? No sense in lying.

“All right, the market’s open if you need it. Just remember, the protection we pay your bosses is worth three times your life. Leave people alone.”

_ Bosses?  _ Vanessa wasn’t happy being considered a regular run-of-the-mill raider, and now she was starting to consider the possibility of her making a deal with those in charge of Bunker Hill when she decided to take over the Commonwealth entirely. 

Deacon still hadn’t showed up, and it was making her antsy, he’d left Railroad HQ before her. She didn’t want to go ahead without knowing they were somewhere nearby. She looked down at the ring on her finger, twisting it with a nervous sigh, “I know I promised we’d stick together, I’m sorry for not keeping that promise already.” 

Kessler was gone, disappeared inside the settlement. Vanessa wasn’t sure how much more time she had before she would have to go find the Courser and confront the synths. She couldn’t hold it off forever, and then, just as she begins to panic, she spots a familiar pair of sunglasses, and a flash of metal yellow armor. The sight of the two people she loves most is immediately soothing, and she feels as though she can do this. Her heart rate slows and the shaking of her hands does the same. 

_ She really wants chems though. _

_ A little hit of Overdrive couldn’t hurt. _

She nods to Deacon and he responds with a very nonchalant salute, disguising it by brushing his fingers through his wig. Her Pip-Boy buzzes, her radio is picking up the signal from the Courser chip. It’s go time, no more procrastinating, no more putting it off. She pulls up her hood, it’s the same ratty red fabric as her cape just much less torn, and checks the location on her map, “please don’t be X6.” Her heels crunch on the ground, and for the first time Vanessa is somewhat conscious of the fact she  _ looks like a raider.  _ In fact it’s surprising it’s never crossed her mind before. The only reason people don’t run screaming from her is her soft face and blonde curls, the pre-war British accent probably helps too, and the fact she tries to have as little blood on herself as possible at all times. 

“I’m the cleanest raider in the Commonwealth.” She laughs to herself, dusting off her sleeves, before finding herself uncomfortable with the fact she was talking to herself. She didn’t tend to run missions alone, even when she ran Institute missions undercover she took X6 with her and would babble nonsense, he would at least respond with disdain, which was always amusing. 

Vanessa wasn’t sure if she recognised the Courser. While she believed in the Railroad’s ideals of synths not being just robots, of them having unique personalities and feelings, she paid very little attention to the Coursers. To her, Coursers  _ were  _ robots, even raiders didn’t turn each other in. 

“I’ve been waiting for you,” Vanessa rolled her eyes immediately, pulling down her hood when she made eye contact with the synth, they were always exhaustingly passive aggressive. “I’m sorry to have held you up,” she spits, her words laced with venom and positively  _ dripping  _ with sarcasm. 

But, of course, the robot doesn’t pick up on it. 

“Try and keep up from here out. Our targets are inside: four synths under Railroad protection. Majority of the settlement is uninvolved, and are expected to run for cover.” Vanessa opens her mouth to respond, but what is unexpected is the thundering sounds of helicopter blades from above.

“ _ Shit _ .” She whispers, pulling up her hood and moving to stand more in the shadows of the alley, pulling the Courser with her. He hums, looking up at the Brotherhood vertibird circling above, “the situation appears to have escalated. A covert approach is likely impossible. We move in, secure the synths, and I Relay out with them back to the Institute. Clear?” 

Most of what was just said was not heard by the raider woman, her eyes are trained on the sky, like a Deathclaw stalking its prey. The Brotherhood’s arrival is unwanted, and unexpected, and jeopardises not only her mission today, but also the treaty she struggled to bargain for. 

It crosses her mind that maybe she should just let the Courser turn the synths over to the Institute, then deal with the Brotherhood as best as she can. But despite her ambiguous morality, and her new inspiration to put herself first and not risk her life for others, she just can’t find it in her heart to abandon these people who have fled their lives in search of a better one.

_ She wishes she’d been brave enough to do it before the bombs fell.  _

“Ma’am? Is that clear?” 

Vanessa wraps her arms around herself, sucking in a slow breath, trying to ground herself in the moment and stay calm. 

“Yes. Yes. Let’s go.”

“The mission parameters have changed, requesting backup Relay now.” 

She flinches, all of her air of calm disappearing immediately, “ _ what?” _ She snaps, once the synth takes his fingers away from his earpiece. Her hair pricks up on her arms despite the fact they’re covered. It’s not cold, it’s  _ rage _ . The synth just regards her with a bored expression, “ma’am the arrival of the Brotherhood of Steel in itself poses a threat, but also implies that  _ someone  _ tipped them off, meaning the Railroad have also likely been informed of our mission. We  _ cannot _ go in alone.”

He takes his rifle from his side, holding it with the relaxed posture of someone who has no qualms about killing innocents. Vanessa isn’t quite there yet, but don’t worry reader:

_ She’s getting there.  _

The Courser moves past her, jogging through the streets towards Bunker Hill, and the sight is unexpected. 

It is  _ crawling  _ with synths. Gen 1’s and 2’s alike. Settlers are fleeing in droves, closely followed by Brahmin who are charging from the noise and chaos, some still holding packs and bags. 

A young girl with bobbed red hair comes sprinting from the settlement, tears streaming down her cheeks. Vanessa crouches down and holds out her arms towards the child, in a frenzy the child throws herself into the raider woman’s arms, sobbing desperately. “Hey, hey, you’re alright sweetie, what’s the matter?” Vanessa picks her up and jogs behind one of the old shops with her in her arms, putting her down inside. She grabs a pipe pistol from one of the corpses. “I don’t know where my moms are!” 

“It’s alright, you’re safe here, do you know how to use a pistol?” 

She nods, rubbing her wet, blotchy face, “uh huh, one of the caravan guards taught me not too long ago.” Vanessa presses the pipe pistol into her hands, gently stroking the side of her head, “the Institute synths  _ won’t  _ touch you, they aren’t here for you or your mothers. The Brotherhood can be scary but don’t worry they won’t hurt you either. I’ll send someone for you, okay? A man. He’ll have sunglasses on, his name is Dee, he’s very funny and very kind, okay?” 

The young girl nods, “thank you ma’am. I’m Meg by the way, I heard you tell Kessler you’re a raider, but I don’t reckon that’s true, you’re real nice. I… I’ll give you a free tour next time you’re in Bunker City!” It tugs at her heartstrings in all the wrong ways, and her face softens, ruffling Meg’s hair, “I’m holding you to that honey. Stay safe, okay? Don’t come out of here unless I or Deacon tell you to.” 

The pain in her chest is overwhelming, her mind races with thoughts of what could’ve been. If that Shaun in the Institute wasn’t a synth, and he was still a child. She might not have ever wanted a child, and she might not be ready to raise a 10 or so year old now, especially not in the wasteland, but little Meg made her heart  _ ache _ for the domestic life she almost had. 

The Courser is still outside the settlement, hiding behind a long rusted car whilst taking fire from a Railroad Heavy and a Brotherhood Paladin. Were they actually working together? Are they united just to defeat a common enemy or are they truly putting their differences aside? For a moment, it’s the former, and it’s delightful. 

And then she spots an Aspirant shooting a Railroad agent whilst they’re trying to protect an ally from a gang of gen 1 synths. Both of the Railroad members perish, and Vanessa decides that although she is desperate to keep the truce going, today seems to be off the cards. 

Her white and gold pistol glints in the sunlight and she fires one bullet into the back of the Aspirant’s head. “Wrong move, raider!” A Knight yells from behind her. She hears the sound of a minigun and throws herself behind a car, feeling the impact of the bullets hitting her chest. She kisses her fingertips and holds them to her chest for a moment, in a silent thank you to Glory for teaching her how to add MkV ballistic weaving to her clothing, otherwise that probably would’ve killed her. 

Vanessa silently regrets wearing her raider clothes, her hands delicately tracing her bare stomach. Her breath is already ragged and she checks how many bullets are in her pistol. She recently added an Incendiary modification, she’d been trying to do so ever since she found it, but wanted it to match the rest of the aesthetic of the pistol. After all, it was the only thing she had left of before the war, and it was made with a pearled handle. 

In the end, Mags and William had spared no expense in getting the mod for her, and making it fit as seamlessly with the original gun as possible. It was the gift they gave her after they took down Mason and got the power running in the park again. Nisha’s gift to the Overboss was a Disciples blade with a cutlass modification. Vanessa  _ obviously  _ preferred her sword, but the knife’s handle was made out of melted down gold watches. It matched her gun, and it was  _ beautiful.  _

There’s a horrific, mechanical whirring, and the minigun fires again. Smoke begins to flow from under the bonnet of the car, and she curses softly under her breath. Vanessa looks around for a way out, and just as the car is about to explode, someone grabs her wrist and yanks her down the alleyway. 

“Charmer! Funny seeing you here.” 

Chest heaving with anxious, heavy, breath, she forces a laugh, her eyebrows drawn together, her arms wrapping around his shoulders. “Where’s Gage?” “With some of the other heavies, he’s fine, got plenty of ammo, they’re on the other side of Bunker Hill.” 

His stomach lurches as he pulls her into his chest, his lips grazing her temple. As much as he wants to ignore it, he can feel the ring on her finger against the back of his neck. He is so close to asking when, “there’s a little girl, Meg, in that old shop over there,” she points, “she couldn’t find her mothers, and so I told her to stay in there, I need you to keep her safe.” His apprehensive frown melts away into a much softer expression, deep down she’s still good. 

_ He knew it. _

“Oh Charms,” he sighs, his fingertips lightly caressing her cheek, “you try so hard to play the big bad villain, but your heart’s never been in it, has it?” 

This time it’s  _ her  _ stomach that lurches. She pushes him away, her eyes wide and so close to swimming with tears. Her vision blurs and she doesn’t know if it’s the tears threatening to spill or the bitter anger bubbling up inside her. “Deacon what the fuck do you…” She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, she couldn’t handle him right now, “no, you know what? No. Just go… help that kid, I’ve got to find Gage. And the Courser.” 

“Charmer,” she holds up a hand, cutting him off, “no, Deacon. I need to go.” She backs up towards the door, her eyebrows pulled down into a rather distressed expression, she looks like she has more to say, but gives up, just shaking her head and running out of the alleyway. The Knight from before is nowhere to be seen, and there is complete chaos in the streets. Vanessa has never seen so many Gen 1’s and 2’s, not even inside the Institute. She glances over her shoulder, Deacon was gone. That was none of her concern, she needed to find her fiancé. 

“There you are,” a gen 1 synth moved towards her, a shock baton in it’s hand, she slammed her sword through its chest without even flinching, “chest injury sustained. Core systems damaged.” It’s optics shrank and focused on her, before going dull. “Horrifying things.” She looks around, running into the settlement. 

The Courser fires a bullet into the head of a Railroad agent. They are taking  _ heavy  _ casualties, mainly from the synths, since the majority of the Brotherhood troops seemed to be respecting the ceasefire between the two factions. 

She lifts her pistol and fires a shot at his back.

She instantly regrets it. 

The bullet lodges itself in his armor, he spins round and puts out the fire that catches on the back of his coat. 

“Ma’am? Was that a misfire?” 

In a panic she fires again, holding her pistol in a shaking hand. 

It lodges in his shoulder and she regrets it even more this time. 

“Hostile detected.” He says, before pulling out his rifle, and firing at her with deadly aim. He notices a weakness in her armor, and by that I mean he shot her straight in her bare stomach. She hisses and fires back, throwing herself behind the bar. Her stomach is bleeding, and the open wound is burnt around the edges by the laser fire. It hasn’t cauterised and she presses her palm against it, dropping her knife to fumble for a stimpak. 

“I’m starting to realise what Gage meant by function over fashion,” she croaks to herself, sighing when she realised she had no stims. She pulls out bandages instead, and rubs a herbal antimicrobial (made by Maple) over the sides of it. The bandages are torn with her teeth and wrapped very poorly over it. It’ll have to do. 

She pokes her head up over the bar and ducks back down with a shriek, narrowly avoiding a laser straight to her face. “Fuck off!” She screams, reloading her pistol and injecting herself with a hit of Overdrive. She doesn’t even stop to consider the fact she doesn’t have stimpaks but she has enough chems to give even  _ Hancock _ an overdose. 

“Ma’am. Stand down and let me warp us back to the Institute. If you promise to go peacefully I am sure Father will give you a fair trial.” His heavy boots ruined his stealth capabilities, but was there really a way she’d get out of this one? 

“Alright, okay, okay. I’m putting my gun and my sword on the counter, alright?” There was silence for a moment, he’d seemingly stopped pacing trying to find her too, “that sounds adequate ma’am.” With a thud, her pistol hit the counter, closely followed by her sword. She then slowly stood up from behind the bar, smiling and wiggling her fingers at him. With her hands flat against the bartop, she hopped over it and took a step towards him, he blinked at her, and got ready to warp when…

“Tell Father I’ll see him in hell.” She slams her Disciples cutlass up through his chin, holding it there. He presses his rifle against her stomach and fires it once more before going limp. 

Overdrive and adrenaline keep her heart pumping, her blood  _ screaming  _ in her ears. Things seem to move slower as she runs through into the building, past railroad agents and brotherhood soldiers who have wiped out all the synths inside. Her heels thump against the unstable ground and metal walkways and a turret explodes somewhere to her left. 

There are four synths in the room, a woman with dark hair pulled up into a bun looks up at her, fear visible in her dull eyes, “come on, please… just… just  _ don’t _ .”

“ _ Relax, _ ” she says with a smile, pressing her fingertips against the other woman’s forearm, “you’re free to go. The Brotherhood soldiers won’t attack you and most of the synths have been wiped out.”

“R-really?” The woman looks around for the Courser, but doesn’t spot it. “Thank you for sparing us,” “you’ve given us another chance at life, we won’t forget it.” Vanessa nods, “follow me, I’ll lead you out of here.” 

They exchange a glance, but decide it’s best to follow her. A few synths have made their way into the building, and Vanessa has realised she’s without her primary weapons. Her heavy, tired, eyes drag down to the cutlass in her left hand, her right hand lightly touches her stomach, “huh, when did I start bleeding?” She takes out another syringe of Overdrive, pushing it into her chest above her heart with a huff. 

Vanessa is barely alive at this point. Her body is surviving solely on the psycho chem, and her head is  _ spinning.  _

“Stay close!” She yells to the synths she has rescued, kicking one of the Gen 1’s that ran in her direction. It staggered away from her and blinked, clearly trying to assess whether she was a hostile, “pinging local models, entity is a threat.” 

_ Praying to God that doesn’t show up on the Institute systems.  _

She strikes it’s temple with her cutlass, pulling it out the second it’s optics faded. One glance over her shoulder to check the Gen 3’s are still following her, and she’s off again, running through the building. 

The last synth to attempt to attack her was a gen 2. She kicked it hard in the stomach and it flew back against the wall, its pistol bouncing against the rocky ground. She slashed at it several times with her cutlass until it “died”. 

Once outside, the synths shook her hands or hugged her and then ran off together. Vanessa didn’t know where. Vanessa didn’t care where. She was  _ really _ tired.

“My gun… My sword.” 

Her eyes were really tired and really blurry. One of her hands drifted down to her stomach again, it came off bloody and she furrowed her brow, “huh… bleeding…” She looked up at the bar, Gage was standing there, holding her pistol and her sword, his face looking oddly panic stricken. Why was he looking so concerned? At the sound of her footsteps his head jerked up to look at her, “Vanessa!” 

He sounded...  _ relieved _ ? 

What was wrong? Why did his face look like that? 

“ _ Yes _ , that’s me.” She chokes out, her eyes are really heavy now. She really,  _ really  _ needs a power nap. Her legs are weak, and they give out, but somehow she doesn’t hit the floor.

“Shit! C’mon, Boss, this ain’t fuckin’ funny.” 

“Boss?”

_ “Nessie?” _


	35. Hitched

It was blindingly bright, “there is no way I would get into heaven.”

The white light fades away as Vanessa flutters her long, thick lashes, blinking several times until she adjusted to the harsh brightness of the room.  _ The Institute _ . It must be. Nowhere is this clean and...  _ bright _ , either that or the last almost 12 months have been a dream.

And suddenly the possibility of it being back before the bombs, or it being heaven, is violently shot down by the cold, steel eyes staring at her from across the room. A Courser. More specifically, it’s X6. 

He puts his sunglasses on and leaves the room, returning a matter of moments later with Father by his side. 

“Mother,” he says cooly, taking her hand and sitting beside her,  _ Vanessa decided she’d never get used to that, _ “I’m so glad to see you’re alright. You were badly wounded when we brought you in here.” 

Vanessa frowns,  _ so the battle wasn’t a dream.  _

She drops his hand and pushes herself into a sitting position, the thin sheet sliding from her body. She was only wearing a sports bra on her top half, and almost her entire abdomen was wrapped in bandages. 

“The doctors here did the best they could, but stimpaks just wouldn’t cut it. Evidently the wounds were left too long.” The blonde ran her finger-tips along her bandages, tracing every line and crease, “how did… how did I get here?” 

“When neither you nor X4 checked in, I personally joined X6 to find you both. When you were discovered a wastelander was attempting to tend to your wounds, X6 said he was fairly hostile, but agreed to let you go without causing a fuss once he explained we would offer better care.” 

It  _ had  _ to be Gage. 

She needed to get back to him. 

“Is X4 alright?” 

She knew he wasn’t. Father glanced back at X6, and Vanessa did the same. The Courser showed no expression, which was slightly disappointing. She presumed they would at least share some positive feelings towards other Coursers, but evidently not. 

“I found him with severe injuries. It was fatal. His body was recovered and destroyed.” She flinched, that was so…  _ morbid.  _ She didn’t know why she expected them to bury him, and she couldn’t say she felt bad because she would kill him all over again in a heartbeat. 

“I see,” “You know, in all my years, I’ve never set foot outside the Institute. Not once, since the day they brought me here,” he gestures around him, “I’ve never had a reason. But, the trip I made a few days ago just confirmed the truth I always knew. The Commonwealth is… dead. There’s no future there. The only hope for humanity lies here, lies with us.” 

“It’s not so bad,” Vanessa remarks, with her usual air of odd positivity, the kind that makes her radiate naivety, “people manage,” Father cuts her off, his face looking strangely sad, “perhaps. But at a cost too great to be worth it. Standing there, I was reminded of how fortunate I was that I was spared a life in that  _ wasteland _ .”

He notices the change in her expression, and sighs, frowning gently, “I know that to you, I was kidnapped from that Vault. In truth, the Institute rescued me,” he gazed upon her face, and Vanessa desperately tried to understand if the expression on  _ his _ face was one of true warmth, or yet another broken mask, “both of us, really.” 

“Shaun,” she croaked, her voice hoarse as she fought back tears, disgusted with how she found herself still so  _ damn  _ emotional, “they left me frozen… for  _ sixty years…”  _ He nods, and closes his eyes, a solemn edge to his own voice, “they did, and for good reason. I was the perfect candidate, an infant with uncorrupted DNA. But if something were to go wrong… if I died…” “I was the backup,” Vanessa bit back with her usual venom when discussing Shaun and pre-war events. 

He is silent for a moment, before opening his eyes, those warm hazel orbs ripped straight from her dead husband’s face boring into her skin, “I’ll admit, when I had you released from Vault 111, I had no expectations that you’d survive out there, in all that. To not only do so, but manage to find me… to infiltrate our Institute itself…” He studies the coldness in his mother’s blue-grey eyes, “ _ extraordinary. _ ” 

Vanessa doesn’t know if she feels anything for him. 

This man isn’t her son. 

“I had no idea what kind of woman you were, you see. Would the Commonwealth corrupt you, as it has everything else? Would you even survive?” Shaun’s firm stare moved from her face, to her armor folded neatly on a chest of drawers opposite the bed, “perhaps most curious to me… would you, after all this time, attempt to find me? I suppose now I know the answer to all three.” He looks away from the bloodstained raider clothes, to the ring on her finger, and then back at her face. She showed no hint or crack of emotion, she let nothing slip. He supposed the pre-war term for it was a  _ poker face. _

_ Vanessa has never thought of herself as corrupted. _

“Soon I hope… I hope you’ll  _ understand _ . Everything I’ve done has been for the  _ future _ .” He gets up, and moves to look out of a window, his back to her, standing just to the left of X6, “a future which, I hope, is not in jeopardy after  _ recent events.  _ It seems Bunker Hill did not go well for us. Would you care to explain what happened?”

“We were ambushed. They were waiting for us,” she said, voice barely louder than a whisper, feeling completely weak and overpowered by her  _ son _ , who was the spitting image of the man who made her life  _ hell _ before the bombs dropped. “You can imagine that I find  _ that  _ very hard to believe, given that all the intelligence leading up to this indicated we’d take them by surprise. Bunker Hill was to cement your place as a valuable asset to the Institute. It will now only raise suspicions.” He sucked in a breath, and looked over his shoulder at his mother, who was now sitting bolt upright in the bed.

“Shaun I was  _ shot and injured. Badly.  _ Do you honestly think that if I was allies with the Railroad  _ or _ the Brotherhood during that battle they would’ve attacked me? Or,  _ what, _ do you think that was part of the plan? Because I would not agree to be injured this badly, to the point I need to be laid up in an Institute hospital for  _ days, especially _ if I was some kind of traitor.” 

Lying to him felt easy.  _ Sickeningly _ easy. 

Shaun sighed, pushed his hands through his hair and looked back out the window, seemingly having regained his composure, “I will refrain from sharing the outcome with the Directorate for the moment. Things are already in motion that  _ this _ would only derail. Speaking of which… it’s time for you to become more involved with the future of the Institute. I’d like you to join me, the Directorate is meeting, and you should be there.” 

*

Vanessa hadn’t known where to go, she hadn’t known where to find Gage, if she’d even be able to find him at all. As a force of habit, she had Relayed back to Sanctuary. Or the outskirts of it at least. She smoothed her hair and straightened her armor, everything that had happened today was overwhelming to say the least. 

She slowly made her way towards the Red Rocket compound, hopefully someone there would know where Gage was.

Luckily,  _ Gage  _ knew where Gage was. 

The minute she spotted him leaning against a wall, smoking, she ran as fast as her tiny, heeled feet could carry her, before throwing her arms around his shoulders, clinging to him as though her life depended on it. 

He dropped his cigarette, startled for a moment at her sudden physical contact, and turned his face away, unable to stop the smile that was tugging at his cheeks, as he wrapped his arms around her in response. “You’re  _ alive.”  _ He grunts, pressing his face into her hair, feeling the way her grip tensed on his tank in acknowledgment of his words. 

The tone of his voice makes Vanessa feel as though he thought he’d never see her again. It’s excruciating to know that she’d hurt him this way, especially when she’d only just promised she wouldn’t die on him. 

“ _ You’re  _ alive.” 

Is all she manages to respond, pulling away to look up at him, twisting her ring silently, a small smile on her face. “I missed you,” “yeah, yeah, you too, enough of this shit, where the fuck have you been?” 

“I’ve been wondering the same thing.” 

It’s Deacon.

She can see the eyebags even though he has his sunglasses on. She’s always been too good at reading Deacon.

“It’s good to see you alive, Charms. I... went back to HQ but they kept... crossing out your name. I couldn’t just sit around and watch that over and over and over again.” She hugs the spy, for less than half the amount of time she hugged the raider, and then moved to sit at one of the picnic benches. 

Vanessa switched on the radio on her Pip-Boy and took it off, putting it on the table, turning the volume down for background noise, “he’s dying.” She says it matter-of-factly, which makes sense, as she’d had enough time to process it, and even without that, she couldn’t honestly say she loved him anymore. Father was  _ not  _ her son. 

“ _ Shit,  _ I uh… shit,” “eloquent as always, Gage,” “oh yeah cause this is really the time t’start an argument.” For once, Vanessa wasn’t immediately pissed off by their bickering. It soothed the homesickness she’d been feeling, and it was actually somewhat nice, solely because it was a bit of normality. 

“He wants me to take over the Institute,” “you’re not going to, right?” Gage and Vanessa both turned to glare at Deacon simultaneously, who raises his non-existent brows and shrugs, “what? It’s a genuine question.” Vanessa rolls her eyes, “I don’t doubt that it’s genuine, the issue is that it’s not valid… like,  _ at all _ .” 

Deacon’s mouth opened and closed like a fish, and then he folded his arms over his chest, huffing like a toddler post-tantrum, “fine.” There was silence for a moment, she cuts it like a feral ghoul, “I need a glass of wine, or a bottle,” she gets up from the table and takes a few steps towards the door for the Red Rocket. She falls silent, glancing at the two men over her shoulder, “I don’t know if I’m ready to talk to everyone, right now.” 

“You wanna go kill some shit?” 

The raider queen looked back at the truck stop, and closed her eyes for a moment, letting herself smile, “you read my mind, honey.” 

*

Gage sits up in the darkness, the space in the bed next to him is empty…  _ again. _ He thought it would be different tonight, Vanessa was back, and he didn’t want to be so soft over her, but alas, here he was. 

He drags himself out of the bed, the plush pillows hit the floor with a light thud. Gage can hazard a guess that she hasn’t come to bed yet, so he grabs his jacket and a pack of cigs, leaving the shack that he’d been staying in. 

Just as he expected, Vanessa was still up, sat on the roof of the Red Rocket, he’d know those bare legs anywhere. He silently clambered the stairs up to the roof and draped his jacket around her shoulders. It was something he’d found in an old house for cold Boston nights; it was made of dull, brown, cracked leather, but had a fur lining. She shivered and looked up at him as he sat down, and then the cigarette he held out to her. 

Vanessa took one and put it between her teeth, leaning in for him to light it up, before sliding closer, resting her temple on his shoulder. He couldn’t help but smirk, lying his head down against hers. “Can’t sleep, darlin’?” 

At the affectionate nickname, she chuckled and took a deep drag from her cigarette, blowing the smoke out of her nose, “no. It’s been a bad week. My dreams are kinda,  _ icky _ , right now,” “icky?” He sniggers, flicking the ash from his cigarette to the ground below. “Yeah, icky,  _ not good _ .” 

“Y’ain’t been t’bed with  _ me  _ yet,” “are you trying to trick me into coming to have sex with you?” Gage laughs and wraps an arm around her shoulder, “well, I ain’t gonna say no…” She laughs and stubs out her cigarette, watching it fall onto the ground below, “you’re such an idiot,” “yeah, I’m an idiot for puttin’ up with you.” 

His lips brush against her temple and he opens his mouth to whisper something in her ear,  _ likely lewd _ , when she pretty much  _ leaps  _ to her feet, looking straight up at the stars. They, like the sunsets, haven’t changed in 200 years. His jacket almost slides straight off her shoulders, so she rolls her arms into the sleeves, standing almost too straight. It’s a weird contrast to her only wearing her underwear and a black spaghetti-strap tank top. 

“ _ Yeah _ ?” 

“Let’s get married. Like,  _ officially _ .”

Gage opens and closes his mouth a few times, his eyebrows drawing down his face, “weren’t we already gettin’ hitched?” Vanessa laughs and grabs his hand, pulling him to his feet, he drops his cigarette and looks down at her, a confused smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

“Well,  _ yes _ , but I mean…  _ now. _ ” 

His eyebrows raised and he sucked in a breath sharply, entwining their fingers together, “now? You wanna marry me, _now?_ Y’know I’m still kinda surprised you wanna marry me full stop.” Vanessa lets go of one of his hands to caress his cheek, her thumb sliding along his cheekbone, “of _course_ I want to marry you, I _love_ _you_. And I don’t want to lose you. And I… I almost _died_. I at least want to marry you before that.” 

Gage rolls his eyes, and pulls her close with a hand wrapped loosely around her throat, pressing a strangely gentle kiss to her lips, “alrigh’, where do we go for that?” “We can leave soon, get to Diamond City by daylight, and get married in the chapel there?” 

“Sounds  _ irrational _ , stunner. Let’s do it.” 

*

The reflection in her mirror is not one she would’ve expected to see. Her hair is pulled up into a loose bun, and she’s wearing the only formal dress she has here; a figure-fitting, crossover bardot dress made of dark green velvet. She runs the back of her hands along her figure and sighs, stepping into her heels. 

The rings sit on the vanity table, they’re simple gold bands that the couple  _ bought _ (stole) from Fallon’s basement. They were the best they’d be able to find, especially since Vanessa’s  _ fit _ . Gage’s was,  _ oddly _ , slightly too big for him to wear without risking losing it, so he’d decided he’d wear it on a chain around his neck. 

There was just one more stop left before the ceremony. It was early still, and luckily Diamond City was quiet. It was also lucky that Pastor Clements hadn’t recognised either of them, otherwise he probably would’ve refused to marry them. She leaves Home Plate and looks around the city. The sun is rising and it’s a weekend; hopefully the residents of Diamond City would still be in their homes until quite late in the day. 

She totters through the streets in her glossy nude heels, looking at the glowing sign on the wall. This is going to take some  _ balls,  _ and in fact she wished she’d brought a bottle of vodka with her, or a syringe of Overdrive.  _ Deep breath, here goes.  _

  
  


When the door opens, Nick Valentine is suddenly hit with the thought of the three times she walked into his office. The first time in that black dress, with those delicate white gloves in that stupidly oversized black hat. The second time in that bloodied Vault suit, with scraps of leather and raider armor barely protecting her body. And then  _ now _ , in that tight green dress with the spotlessly clean kitten heels. 

At once all three versions of the pre-war woman speak to him, and say the exact same words she’s already said twice before; “Mister Valentine?” Her voice catches in her throat, “I hear you’re in the business of finding people.” 

Nick Valentine looks down at the file in his hands, and tosses it onto the table. Of course he knows what she’s been doing, and the last thing he wants to do is help raiders, but he can’t help but be curious about what it is she’s come for. He sighs, and takes his hat off, running his skeletal robotic hand over his head, “what do you want, Ms. Everly? I’m surprised the guards let you in here.” 

“I’m still a Diamond City resident, Mr. Valentine,” she takes a few more steps into the room and sits down in front of him, “and I’m not here to cause trouble, either, that’s the  _ opposite _ of what I’m here for. I’m sorry that the way we left things was… not the  _ greatest. _ ” She awkwardly looks down at her feet, and barely resists the urge to bite her nails. 

Nick can’t blame her for the fact it’s taken this long for her to speak to him again. Nearly a year, in fact. Although what happened to cause their falling out wasn’t  _ his fault _ , he couldn’t deny he was a little surprised she was even able to look him in the eyes after what he did. He didn’t know if there were remnants of Kellogg in his mind, but he knew he’d do anything to stop himself from doing something even close to what he did before. 

“Who are you looking for, Vanessa?” He says cooly, looking down at his case file. He wasn’t reading it, more pretending he was. “Well, there’s two people I need you to find, actually. The first,” she falters, and Nick’s interest is sufficiently peaked, “the first is Vanessa Everly. I think she’s gotten lost… somewhere in the wasteland.” It feels stupid the minute she says it. His eyes immediately flick up to hers, she’s staring straight at him, her cold, grey, ocean eyes focused intently on his glowing opticals. 

“I… Vanessa, I don’t know how to…” She shakes her head and smiles softly, lowering her gaze to the table for just a moment, “the second person is more important. I need a witness, for my...  _ wedding _ .” 

He chuckles,  _ it’s mostly out of shock _ , and he runs his hands over his scalp again, putting his hat back on, “you’re getting married? It explains the fancy digs, doll,” “it was quite a spur of the moment decision,” she twists the ring on her finger, “I don’t feel comfortable asking Piper, but we aren’t allowed to get married without a witness.” 

“Are you marrying the raider, kid?” 

She flinches, and awkwardly laughs, chewing her nails for a moment before shaking her hands, said nails were actually painted for the first time since leaving the vault, and she didn’t want it to chip off already. 

“I… well yes,  _ but _ ,” Nick cuts her off with a raised hand, “are you happy? Safe? Is this your choice?” She nods, and he mimics. “He better than your first husband? In fact, I don’t think I need you to answer that, I’ve got enough of  _ old Nick’s _ memories for that one,” Vanessa twists her ring round and round anxiously, “yes, yes he’s much better. He’s never laid a hand on me, well, not  _ maliciously _ at least.” 

The synth rubbed the back of his neck. He couldn’t believe he was doing this. Being the witness at a  _ raider wedding.  _ He supposed it was the best thing he could  _ do _ to make up for what he  _ did.  _ “Alright, doll. Let’s go.” 

  
  


Vanessa’s first wedding was an  _ extravagant _ affair. Everything was covered in crystals, there was an ice sculpture, her gown was  _ huge _ , a real Princess dress. Everything was white too. Nate’s shirt, all the bridesmaids and groomsmen’s outfits. Her bouquet had several Kinabalu Orchids in it, (if you were wondering those flowers were worth $6,000 a stem before the war), and the other flowers were Juliet roses and baby’s breath. They even had preserved Kadupul flowers on the table for the bridal party. There were hundreds of guests, from their entire extended family to many of the pre-war elite and celebrities.

Her second wedding could be considered non-existent and almost dwarved in response. It was held in a rundown shack known as the All Faiths Chapel in Diamond City (the remains of a baseball stadium). She was wearing a simple, yet elegant, figure hugging green dress and her bouquet consisted of carrot flowers, fever blossoms and some fake roses she had stashed in Home Plate. The only guest was Nick Valentine, who was also their witness and Gage wasn’t wearing a tuxedo.  _ However _ , he  _ had _ put on a shirt over his usual leather trousers, and had taken off all his armor pieces, chains and pouches. He’d even trimmed up his facial hair (he was growing out his mohawk because he knew Vanessa liked it being long enough for her to run her hands through). 

All in all, her second wedding was probably nothing compared to the song and dance of her first, but to her, it was so much better. Because this time around, she truly loved the man she was marrying, and as much as he rarely said it, they both knew he loved her just as much back. 

Pastor Clements went through his usual spiel, earning some casual eye rolls from Gage whenever he mentioned God (which got him a gentle elbow in the side), neither of them had the time to prepare vows, but then again, neither of them were great with voicing their feelings.

Gage stammered and drawled his way through  _ his _ vows, a faint blush prickling up across his face, then the Pastor turned towards Vanessa, who was watching Gage with nothing but pure adoration, tears prickling in her eyes. 

“I, Vanessa Diana Everly, take you, Porter Gage, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

“T’be my lawfully wedding-ed wife.”

“To have and to hold, from this day forward.”

“For richer or for,  _ seriously _ ? Uh,  _ shit _ , sorry, poorer.”

“In sickness, and in health.”

“T’love and...  _ t’cherish _ , till death do us part.” 

“According to God’s holy law, in the presence of God, I make this vow.”

“ _ Oh for fucks _ … according t’God’s law, in the presence of,  _ yeah _ ... I make this vow.” 

“I now pronounce you, husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.” 

_ Gage didn’t need permission. _

He grabbed both sides of her face, his thumbs pressed against her cheekbones, and kissed her with fervor, showing all of his devotion to her with actions instead of words, the way he knew how. She radiated warmth and he pressed her as close to his body as he could, his hands sliding into her hair. 

“Vanessa Diana Ev-”, “ _ Gage.  _ Vanessa Diana  _ Gage. _ ” 

He smirked, for once his surname sounded better coming from her mouth than his first, “I fuckin’ love you,” “I, heh,  _ fucking  _ love you too.” 

It was not the fairytale wedding Vanessa dreamt of as a child, but it was  _ perfect _ . Never, in all of her life, had she felt more loved than she did in that moment, and she thought she’d never feel quite the same level of exalted bliss. He was everything she wanted, and she was finally happy. The ring they slipped onto each other's fingers may not have mattered, it may not have changed the love they felt for one another, but it was still a moment that was so special to both of them, in different ways. 


	36. Nuclear Family

Our sole survivor silently walks through the hallowed halls of the Institute. Her outfit is a heavily modified courser uniform, the coat is cut crudely off above the waist and hangs loosely around her form, she’s trimmed the collar and the with the pelt of a radstag, because even in her final hour, she has to look like she’s walking the runway. 

It looks as though the jumpsuit she’s wearing is modified from an old Brotherhood officer uniform. Naturally, she has a black heeled pair of boots on. They click on the cold, polished floor as she walks. Her gait is graceful and elegant, as though she floats. 

Her face is cold, her red lipstick already slightly smudged into the corner of her mouth, she wipes it with a fingertip. Her steely eyes are ablaze, yet she shows not even a glimmer of emotion. 

Vanessa’s thoughts are on the mission, her sword is ready at one hip, her pistol and knife at the other. This is where it ends. Either she wins, or she dies.

_ And either way she is content. _

She flicks her cigarette onto the ground and stubs it out with the toe of her boot, making her way to the relay room. She had her targets, two synths, three scientists. Providing the synths were Gen 1’s, it’d be easy, the scientists would be a piece of cake, even if there was a small army of them. 

As she nears the hall, she pulls her knife from her belt, looking down at the scar on the palm of her hand. It’s the worst one. Vanessa has been collecting the damn things. One on her hip, bullet wound, one on her leg, bullet wound. Two on her stomach, from Bunker Hill. The palm from Mason. The eyebrow from getting pistol whipped by a brotherhood soldier and the lip. The two scars on her lip. 

It’s honestly impressive that she has stayed alive this long. To her and to everyone else. 

Vanessa is just desperately trying to convince herself that she isn’t living on borrowed time. She has so much more she wants to do. She wants to be with Gage, her husband, she wants to have a normal life after this all. 

She begins to cough, and immediately presses a hand to her mouth. 

When she pulls it away there are a few splatters of blood on her palm. 

“Borrowed time, Vanessa,” she reminds herself, shrugging her arm out of her coat, taking a syringe from her pocket, “yet you still keep pumping yourself with this heart-stopper.” She laughs quietly to herself, it’s really not funny, but if she doesn’t laugh? She’ll cry. 

“You’re in the final stretch now, don’t give up yet.” Her words trail off into a hiss as she injects the first syringe of Overdrive. Her tolerance has been ramped up with her addiction, so she has to take double the dosage just to feel  _ normal.  _

The second syringe is straight up psycho. And she doesn’t even think twice about putting it in her body. 

The sole survivor moves into the room, her posture is confident, and she makes no attempt to be stealthy. It’s too late for that now.

“Oh, Ms. Everly! Has Father sent you down here for-!” 

The scientist chokes on his own blood as Vanessa slams her knife into his throat, it’s golden handle glinting in the artificial light. The two synths made beeping noises and initiated, “hostile detected.” 

They only had shock batons, were they trying to make this easy for her? 

One of the scientists screamed and dove behind the control desk, and the other made a break for the door. 

But Vanessa was planning for that one. 

She pulled her pistol from her belt and shot him in the back of the head. 

“Tut, tut. Naughty, naughty. That’s not how we’re playing this.”

The synths both ran at her at once, and she unloaded a clip into the first, kicking the second one in the chest. 

She snarled as the synth on the ground slammed its shock baton into her leg. She was trying to reload her pistol with her knife between her teeth. She brought her foot down on its head, over and over and over. 

“Please! Don’t kill me! What do you want? I’ll do whatever you want!  _ Please!”  _

“Oh darling,” she stuffs her pistol into its holster, and crouches down, her fingertip pressed against the tip of the blade of her knife, her other hand holding the handle, “it’s a little late for whatever I want. I want my son back. I want my life back. At one point I even wanted my husband back. Begging won’t make a difference.” 

She gently ran the side of her blade along the sobbing woman’s cheek, “now I know you were not  _ personally  _ responsible for all of that, but I suppose the people who were are long dead by now, hmm? A terrible shame. What a waste of life.” Her knife was thrusted upwards through the woman’s jaw, and more blood sprayed onto Vanessa’s face. 

Up she stood, dusting herself off. Z1-14 walked into the room once he heard silence, nodding to her, “I already have the coordinates. I simply need to update the Relay… your companions shall arrive in a moment.”

In relayed her team; Desdemona, Tinker Tom, Deacon, Gage and Victory. 

“Digging the whole psycho mom thing but you uh, you got a little something there.” Deacon gestured to her face. Vanessa glared at him, silently stepping out of the way for Tinker Tom to get at the console. 

“It’s a good look for you,” Gage murmured, wiping the blood from her face with the back of his hand, “you’re burnin’ up more than a damn fire gecko, you alrigh’?” She gently pushed his hand away, “I’m fine.” 

“There’s no turning back now; if they’re not already onto us, they will be within seconds,” Desdemona clutched her railroad rifle and looked around the room. “I suppose it’s time to save the synths,” Vanessa smiled, earning a similar bright response from Des; “in this single hour, we could rescue more synths than we have in our entire history. Make every moment count. But first… here.”

Vanessa looked at the piece of tech held out to her, and dropped it into an inner pocket of her coat. 

“It’s a Fusion Pulse Charge. Tinker Tom’s rigged it to take out the reactor and anything else within a few hundred yards of it.” 

It was like a big computer chip, with a sign for radiation imprinted on it in yellow. It was leagues above her understanding, but she knew what she had to do with it.

“We get you down there, you plant it, and we run like hell. When we get to a safe distance, we detonate it remotely. Then the whole Institute goes up like a candle. And the synths stay free.  _ Forever.  _ This is the moment where we make  _ history _ .” 

“Got it. Tom, get the Relay working and warp in the raiders at these coordinates.” She tapped a piece of paper on the desk, and he nodded, “on it, ma’am.” 

“I’m still hoping you know what you’re doing, bringing a bunch of raiders into close quarters.” 

“It ain’t just a bunch a’ raiders,” Gage grunted, lighting up a cigarette, “made sure it’s only the operators. They’ll follow their orders. Ain’t bloodthirsty or nothin’.” 

“They were told to only initiate attacks on hostile combatants. Z1 has told me most synths he knows are wanting to leave will not attack, casualties will be violent Institute staff and coursers only. Of course, one or two accidents may occur, but I doubt any more so than what we will cause.” 

Desdemona nodded, seemingly satisfied, but Deacon still looked wary. Victory huffed, pumping the barrel of her shotgun, “we ain’t got time for all this chatter. Let’s get as many synths out as we fuckin’ can. For Glory.” 

“For Glory.” 

“And preferably I’d like to get out o’ here  _ alive.  _ I got a very hot, french, girlfriend to get back to.” 

Vanessa was off, closely followed by Gage and Deacon. Victory was staying behind with Tom and Des until the raiders arrived. 

Vanessa was already gone, sprinting down the hallways. 

“By the love of… we need to get her under control or she’s going to get herself killed.” 

Gage grumpily tossed his cigarette down and ran after her, Deacon by his side. “Yeah, I know. She’s been weird like this lately, I first noticed when we were clearin’ out Dry Rock Gulch,” she was already out of sight, and that only elevated their anxiety, “she ran straight at a bloodworm queen and the damn thing near ate her.” 

“I always blamed you,” Deacon called to him, “but I don’t know how certain I am about that anymore.” 

“Thanks?” 

They rounded the corner to see Vanessa drag her knife down through the wire and metal of a synth’s chest cavity, her teeth bared. 

Deacon took a glance at the other man, it was the most feral he’d ever seen her, and judging by the look on Gage’s face, it was new to him too. Gage caught his gaze, and shrugged, “at least she’s still alive.” 

_ Not comforting.  _

The synth twitched twice and went limp. The raider queen yanked her blade from it’s corpse and straightened up. She didn’t even notice the men, jogging off already. 

“I hear shit, get ready!” Gage shouted to Deacon, readying his rifle. 

The spy grabbed Vanessa’s wrist and yanked her backwards. She hissed angrily, glaring backwards at him. He frowned, and held a finger to his lips, letting her shake her arm free from his grip.

“Is someone there?” 

He knew he’d heard synths in the next room. Gage readied his rifle, “hey Boss, we gotta be careful about this. Don’t know how many are in there, don’t wanna get overwhelmed.” 

Both the men thought he’d gotten through to her, but when the first synth rounded the corner, she was on it. Literally. She tackled it to the ground and brought her knife up, slamming it down between its eyes. 

Deacon shot a gen 2 that made its way in, and when a second lunged for his wife, Gage dragged it off, throwing it onto the floor and shooting it repeatedly in the head. He then grabbed her by the collar and pulled her from the remains of the synth on the floor.

“More comin’, Boss. Eyes up.” 

She dropped her knife on her belt and pulled out her sword. Honestly, Deacon would’ve preferred she used a gun, but at least the sword had slightly further range, she wouldn’t have to physically get on top of the synths anymore. 

There were only a manageable few. And then more. Seemingly out of thin air. Likely out of thin air, considering Institute relay technology. Gage opened fire, his handmade rifle was the best thing they had for mowing down the onslaught of enemies, and when they heard a large number of footsteps behind them, they thought they were done for. Cornered. Like rats in a trap. 

“Charmer’s dream team, here, as back up.” 

“Deacon! You, Charmer and the raider get going, we’ll grant you covering fire!” 

The spy grinned and looked at Gage, he nodded in recognition, glancing at Vanessa who had coolant sprayed up her front. She huffed angrily, “fine. I need to pay Father a visit anyway.” 

Vanessa’s legion of railroad heavies and Operator raiders helped the onslaught, and together they pushed into the atrium. It felt like it had been hours, all were exhausted, and hurting, and there had been more than a few casualties. 

She’d injected herself with another dosage of psycho, and was in the process of administering a stimpak as her eyes wildly scanned the atrium, searching for the quickest route to the Director’s quarters. 

“You ready to go, Nessie? Deacon’s getting antsy waiting and I imagine you’re the same.” 

She turned her head to her husband, her breath ragged. Her chest was feeling  _ really  _ tight. Uncomfortably so. She hoped it was just the anxiety of the whole situation, more than her overuse of chems. 

“Let’s move out.”    
  


As they approached the door Vanessa froze, her pistol clutched tightly in her hands. Gage looked down at her, her white knuckles, her shaking hands. He placed a hand on her lower back. “Y’okay, darlin’?” 

“Nothing followed us,” Deacon called, before jogging to catch up with the other two, “we’re good to go. I figured they wouldn’t want us getting near their God, but I guess they’re all caught up with everyone else.” 

“I’m fine,” she whispered, squeezing Gage’s arm. He furrowed his brow, and nodded, moving his hand away. “Thank you, Dee. Here we go then.” 

She pushed the door open, and froze at the sight of her son in the room. His features had sunken into his head, but he still had those eyes. The same eyes of his father. She edged further into the room, holding out her gun, pointing it at him.

He looked so frail. He really  _ was  _ dying. 

He didn’t look how Deacon nor Gage had imagined, but both knew it was truly her son. He had the same dainty nose, and his hair curled at the tips. 

Father frowned sadly, as he watched the battle out of his window, not even acknowledging their presence.

After Vanessa’s previous behaviour, they both expected her to brutally bash his brains in, or keep firing her pistol after he was long dead. But she only watched, the only thing that implied she was hostile was her ex-husband’s pistol pointed at him.

“I didn’t expect you to return under these circumstances, mother. You had me fooled. I really believed you were on our side.” 

His head lolled wearily to the side, and he stared at Vanessa with nothing but contempt in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry it’s come to this, Shaun,” she began, her voice shaking almost as much as her hands. He cuts her off, his words dripping with venom and malice, “you’re  _ sorry?  _ You can’t be that sorry, if you’re here going through with it! It’s not enough that I lay here, dying… now you plan on what? Destroying everything?” 

Vanessa opened her mouth to speak and he scoffed, holding up a hand to silence her, as though  _ she  _ were the child.

“Tell me, then. Under what righteous pretence have you justified this atrocity?” 

“Seriously?” She snapped, raising her pistol at his head again, “all the enemies you’ve created, you can’t imagine  _ why  _ I’d be standing here?” 

“Perhaps I didn’t think to count you among them,” she flinches at his cold demeanour, as stubborn as she would be in the face of death, “well, none of it matters now, I suppose. You’ll accomplish your task, and ruin humanity’s best hope for the future. The only question left, then, is  _ why  _ you’re standing here. Is it regret? Or did you just come to gloat?” 

“I’m not the  _ monster,  _ here, Shaun. Think of all the bad you’ve done, all the awful, terrible things that your Institute has done to the wasteland. Inevitably it seems fitting that I’d be the one to put you down.” 

He laughs, and it breaks into a wheezing cough, “go ahead,  _ mother,  _ do it.” 

Neither Gage or Deacon knows what to say. Both toy with the idea of just shooting the director in the head and dragging her away. 

She laughs with him. 

“No. You don’t  _ deserve  _ it. You can die in the hellfire that will destroy  _ your Institute.  _ Killing you with my own hands is more than you are worth. You are  _ no  _ son of mine.” 

“You could’ve been  _ so much,  _ mother.” 

She ignores him. Stuffing her pistol into its holster. “Let’s go. We have a fusion charge bomb thing to plant.” 

“Everything I did for a reason!” 

He calls, but it falls on death ears. 

She leans over the desk and studies the terminal. She already knows the password. She’d already stolen it. She taps it in, and debates setting off the alarm to alert people to leave, they can’t all be bad. 

_ Why should she care?  _

_ They never offered mercy to the synths, why should she give them the same?  _

The evacuation alarm blares overhead. They’ll be able to save more synths this way.

“I shouldn’t have trusted you. The others warned me as such, but, well, I suppose I was blind. I wanted a relationship with my mother, with you.” 

“Shut up!” She screamed, slamming her hand down on the keyboard, “shut the fuck up. You never wanted a relationship with me, I was just a tool to you! A weapon! You used me the same way you used the  _ fucking  _ coursers! Bloody  _ Christ!”  _

Deacon muttered something to Gage under his breath, it was just out of earshot and was enough to make her paranoia skyrocket. Her head twitched in their direction but lurched back to Shaun when he spoke again. 

“It isn’t too late, you know. You can walk away. Order your wasteland savages to step down, and  _ leave.  _ Don’t destroy the only family you have left.” 

She flinches, and her gun is pulled from her belt, pointed straight at him again. Her hands were shaking even more than before. 

“You are  _ not  _ my family. You never have been. You were my son, yes, but you are  _ nothing  _ to me. You and your father are dead to me.”

“Ah yes, my  _ father _ , and I suppose this is the raider you replaced him with? Shame… You’ve doomed the entire commonwealth,  _ and  _ our family line.”

That was the final straw. They heard her breath shake for a moment, before she let out a deep exhale. She shot him once, straight through his skull. There was a complete lack of emotion in it, as she stared dead at the ground, each ragged breath sending tremors through her body. 

Gage outstretched a hand, he wanted to go to her.

Deacon wanted to comfort her. 

But before either made the move to do so, her brain and adrenaline kicked back in. She silently slammed her hand down on a button on the terminal, and with a crackle over the speakers, Tinker Tom’s voice rang out through the room.

_ “Hell yeah! Access granted! Should be able to reach the reactor! Synths are pouring up through here. But we won’t leave without you. Don’t worry!”  _

Both Vanessa and Deacon thought they’d feel some kind of weight lifted from them. A weight to be lifted from their shoulders, at least some kind of release. This is what they’d been working towards for months,  _ years,  _ in Deacon’s case. There should’ve been some  _ pride,  _ some  _ satisfaction,  _ at least. And although both of the men were ready to move on, to continue with the mission at the very least, Vanessa was stuck, quite literally. 

She couldn’t move, her face still turned away from the corpse of her son, the pistol still pointed at him, a smoking hole in his head. 

“Charmer?” 

No response. Not even a glint of life in those cold, grey, eyes.

“Hey, c’mon Nessie, we need t’get movin’.” 

When she still didn’t move he wrapped his hand around her wrist, pushing her arm down to her side. “ _ Nessie,”  _ he murmured, pulling her against him, “c’mon, we ain’t done here.” 

She let out a small, broken, sob, muffled by Gage’s chest, and it made his and Deacon’s chest  _ ache,  _ their own hearts lurching with hers. They let her stay quiet, and still, for about a minute, when she finally pulls away from Gage’s chest. 

“Which way do we go?” 

“I’ll lead the way, stick close.” 

They picked up their pace, sprinting towards advanced systems, when Vanessa threw herself onto a courser before he had a chance to use his stealth boy. 

He thrashed beneath her and slammed his head up against her nose, yet she still kept him down, her hands wrapped tightly around his throat, snarling like a feral ghoul. 

Deacon fired two bullets into its head, and it went limp. Vanessa didn’t let up, tears streaming down her face. 

“That’s enough, Charmer! He’s dead!” 

They dragged her off the corpse, and pushed onwards into the advanced systems. There, high as a kite and filled with rage, Vanessa planted the fusion charge. 

  
  
The splinter group headed back to the atrium, and Deacon was ready to signal Tom, to relay them out, when Vanessa suddenly flipped out again.

“Shaun,” she murmured, “where is Shaun?” 

Deacon and Gage shared a glance. “Charmer? You just… you shot him.” 

The look she fixed him with was one of disgust, and she grabbed him by the arms. Her grip was tight, and her voice raised an octave out of panic, “no! No! This isn’t a time to fucking joke!” 

“She means the synth child.” Victory had come to find them, they needed to get out of there ASAP. The synths had been evacuated and the place was ready to blow. 

“Shit, okay, we’ll go and do a second look. Charmer, you and Victory get out of here.” 

He tried to soothe her with an embrace, and she only tried to push him away. “Deacon… no… no, no,  _ no!”  _ He nodded to Victory over our sole survivor’s shoulder, and both were ready for her to usher her into the relay room. 

She continued to shriek, “no! I’m not fucking leaving without him!” And when he didn’t let up, she pulled her knife, holding it against his stomach, “whoa, whoa, calm down, Charms. This is for your own good.” 

Deacon felt the tip of the blade push slightly into his stomach, and at that point it clicked that she wasn’t playing. He let go of her sharply, holding up his hands, “ _ please,  _ Charmer. I’m trying to keep you alive.  _ Gage,  _ help me out here.” 

The raider shrugged, staring down at the ground, “boss, I don’t want you t’die, but when the shit have y’ever listened t’me?” 

Dumbfounded by that response, Deacon looked over at him, wide eyed, giving Vanessa enough time to sprint past them, back further into the atrium. 

Having never been a  _ family man _ , Gage didn’t understand why she wanted to save a child that not only,  _ wasn’t hers,  _ but was a synth. However, he knew he’d do the same for her. So he ran. 

Deacon understood wanting to save a synth’s life, but they needed to get out of there. It was possible he’d already escaped, which meant them prolonging their stay only risked their own lives. Eventually, he figured, Tom and Des would have to get out, they’d be left behind. 

It must’ve clicked in Gage’s head that this would happen, as when Deacon and Victory caught up with him, he had her scooped up tightly in his arms. 

“Grab her weapons off the floor.” 

Deacon nodded, doing as asked, and Victory took off, to tell Tinker Tom to fire up the relay.

“No! Please!  _ Please!  _ You can’t do this to me!” She pounded against Gage’s arms, kicking her legs in desperation, “Porter,  _ please!  _ I need to find my son! I need to find my baby! I can’t just leave him here to  _ die!” _

Gage tried to ignore her screaming. The sounds she made were  _ inhuman _ . And it hurt him to have to inflict this on her. 

When Deacon caught her gaze she spat in his direction, her thrashing only getting more severe, “why would you do this to me!  _ Fuck you!  _ What happened to saving the synths, huh? Only when it’s in your best interest,  _ huh?”  _

“ _ Mom _ ?” 

“This kid just showed up alone, he  _ says  _ he’s Charmer’s son.” 

Vanessa froze, going limp in Gage’s grip, looking to the sound. Standing next to Desdemona was a  _ very  _ small boy with blonde, curly hair. He stared up at her with wide brown eyes, clinging to Des’ leg nervously. 

Had Father been lying the whole time? No, it couldn’t be, this boy was identical to the synth she’d met the first time she came to the Institute. She outstretched her arms, and Gage put her down on the ground, eyes wide, looking to Deacon for an answer as to what was happening.

“Mom, what’s happening? Where is everyone?” 

She crouched down, outstretching her arms to the boy. The synth Shaun didn’t know who she was. But… he was calling her  _ mom.  _

Deacon readied Vanessa’s pistol, expecting it to be some kind of trap, and from the way Gage had his hands on his rifle, he expected the same. 

He didn’t reach towards her, he didn’t seem like a child who’d been kidnapped, who’d lost his mother. He just seemed…  _ confused. _

  
  


Gage and Deacon shared a glance, and a silent nod, they agreed to intervene. What that meant, they weren’t sure of, and just as Deacon stepped towards the child, Vanessa pulled him into his arms. 

Gage pulled his rifle up immediately, studying the back of his wife and her child closely, but he slowly lowered it when he saw the small hands press against her back.

“Please don’t leave me here, Mom. Take me with you,” “I… of  _ course,  _ Shaun. You can come with me.” 

The small boy pulls away, “really? You mean it?” 

“Yes! Of course I mean it, let’s get out of here.” 

Her voice is steady, soft,  _ relieved.  _ And she ushers the boy into the relay, her hands on his shoulders. He looks up at her, and although they are the eyes she’s come to despise, in the face of this smiling child, she can’t help but be soothed. “I’m glad you were here to save me, mom.”

Gage, Deacon and Victory followed her, the first standing at a distance from the child, eyeing it with seemingly an air of nervousness.

“Alright Tom, fire it up.” She murmurs, turning to face him. “You got it. We’re set right? You’re ready to get out of here?”

“Yes,” she breathes, “yes, absolutely. Let’s get the  _ hell  _ out of here.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice. Let’s go before this whole place goes thermonuclear.” 

  
  


Vanessa was supposed to be happy. Everything she’d been working so hard towards was finally over. Yet, she felt nothing more than relieved. There was a whirring overhead, and Vanessa pulls Shaun as close as she can, and presses her side into Gage, grabbing his armor in one hand, clinging to Shaun with the other. 

There’s a flash of light, and everything goes suddenly dark. It’s over. 

  
  


When she can see again, her eyelashes flutter open. It’s past sunset. The wind is howling and she can feel it whipping her hair. They’re up high. On top of a building, to be exact, a  _ skyscraper.  _

“Deacon, can you take Shaun, please.” 

He nods, taking the kid off to the side, standing with Tinker Tom and Victory. Desdemona gestures to a button and the sole survivor slowly approaches it on shaky legs. 

This is it. 

It’s the end. 

  
  


She lowers her hand onto the button, and presses it, without a second thought.

A second delay, and then a huge, white-almost-blue explosion goes off miles and miles ahead. She staggers back, covering her vision with a hand, removing it just in time to see the fire, and smoke, billowing into the sky. 

It’s followed by a few, much smaller explosions. And she shivers. She feels it wash over her, the heat, the dust, the radiation. It’s like the final day, all over again.

She squeezes her eyes shut, clutching the railing, her heart thudding wildly. She sees her life from before, before the bombs, before the death. And she’s reminded that the future can shift in an instant, nothing is ever set in stone. She was never ready, who could ever be ready? 

It wasn’t the world she wanted, but she didn’t have that choice. It was the world she found herself in, the world she adapted to.  _ Her home.  _

She thought of waking up in the pod. She thought she could find her family, or at least her son. Cheat time. Put it all back together again, just as the world had been messily put back together. But that wasn’t what happened. 

Instead, she found a new family. She found love. She found safety,  _ home.  _

But now, more than ever, there was one thing she knew above all else, 

_ “War. War never changes.” _


End file.
